The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2460 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

---

Have I said I don’t like interviews watching people turn themselves inside out and you try to guide them to the hoops through which they must jump. They all had suitable degrees to teach the subjects. I think they should all have been equally able to do the job, we just wanted the best one who fitted in the rest of my team.

We introduced ourselves and then before they could say much in reply, I handed each one the skull of a badger and asked them to teach me about it. They had no time to prepare, they were shown out of a different door to the one they’d entered so they couldn’t share information with anyone else. It was entirely possible that they wouldn’t identify it as a named species, but there are several things that should suggest the lifestyle of the original owner. There’s a sagittal crest running lengthways along the skull showing it has a powerful bite. It’s said a badger could bite the face off a dog. It has canines, showing it at least occasionally eats meat, but its molars mean it can handle other stuff too—the European badger is an omnivore.

One of the male candidates guessed what it was and instead of describing what he could see, he went on about badgers. I wasn’t impressed as he was building on something which he didn’t know was fact, a supposition not a deduction. One of the women did a far better ad hoc not being sure what the animal was, she just described what she saw and it was spontaneous, based upon her observation of the bone . It was head and shoulders above the others. The other questions were more of the anticipated sort, what would she do, how would she do it, why would she do it.

We’d each made notes which we discussed over our buffet lunch about who was the better candidate and we decided that the woman should have the job, albeit a temporary one, if she preferred it to the permanent but lower paid post assuming she came tops for that.

After lunch we began round two and interviewed for the junior lecturer’s post, this time I showed them a photograph of a reproductive cell undergoing meiosis, which is involved in sexual reproduction effectively producing haploid cells, which means they have only half the chromosomes of normal cells but that is resolved when they meet with either a sperm or egg from the opposite sex and fertilisation is achieved. The two haploid cells combine to form a whole which is then diploid again, unless something goes wrong. This will eventually grow to form the offspring of the two donor parents.

As in the first group after introductions I handed the candidate the photo and asked them to describe what was going on in the picture as if they were teaching it to a class.

Okay, it’s not rocket science, it’s A-level or below, but one of them recognised it as mitosis, which is generalised cell division, which it wasn’t. I gave them a chance to change their mind but they stuck with it and gave a lovely description straight from a textbook about something that wasn’t happening. Their presentation skills were very good, their biology was not. The reason for what we were doing was in the first year they do a refresher of basic biology for a term—effectively the A-level syllabus or highlights of. We do this to make sure everyone has at least a basic understanding of the principles of biological science.

The rest of the candidates got it right and although their presentation skills varied, our first candidate of choice did well again. I now wanted her on my team whatever job she chose. The others agreed she was best by far, we then selected a runner up for each post. We told them to leave a phone number preferably a mobile and that we would let them know one way or another if they were successful.

Delia arrived bearing afternoon teas with plain chocolate Hob Nobs, I asked her to text the first choice asking her call me. I was in mid slurp of tea when my phone rang. It was Jenna Clark, the favoured candidate.

“Hello, Jenna, if I were to offer you one of these two posts, which would you prefer it was?”

“I don’t mind, Professor, I’d be delighted to be offered either.”

“The one is fixed term, the other is permanent, does that help?”

“I need the money, so I’d probably opt for the longer term job.”

“It’s yours. Delia will be in touch with a letter of confirmation. There’ll be the usual formalities to deal with by our personnel department, but I look forward to you starting in the new year.”

“That’s wonderful, Professor, as I told you, I came back after having a baby at my previous university, but they weren’t as helpful as they might have been and your people have been so good. When I saw you in the video you did for students, I knew I wanted to work with you, I’ve been five years at the old place and I wasn’t going anywhere. I know it’s a bottom grade post but you offered a chance to be involved in planning the syllabus for first year students and that is something I really fancy.”

“As soon as we have a written acceptance, I’ll get Delia to send you the current syllabus—I’d like your opinion on it.”

“Brilliant, I wish I could start next week.”

“So do I, but you have commitments to your existing ivory tower, you’d better honour them, but let us know if you need any help with anything.”

“That’s wonderful, thank you so much.” I rang off and told Delia to go for the runner up for the senior post. The conversation was similar. Another woman, Helen Hunter, accepted the short term contract and could start in a month’s time. She again said she’d wanted to work with me after seeing my dormouse film and learning how I’d introduced ecological ideas and practice into High St Banks. I didn’t tell her my pa in law was the chairman—it helps.

I was a little late going for the children due to the phone calls. I had warned them I might be delayed and as expected they grumbled until I invited them to walk home if they didn’t want to wait. They decided upon reflection, waiting was okay after all.

When I got there they were with Sister Maria and involved in some animated discussion. It was about the nativity play, I’m not sure if she saw me wince but she said, “I hear you once played the Blessed Virgin Mary in school, is there no limit to your talents?”

“Who told you that?” I gasped and wondered how they found out. Then I remembered the photo in Mr Whitehead’s book, though how he found one I’ll never know.

“We wondered if you’d care to share your expertise and experience with us for this year’s dramatic event of the term?”

“I really can’t, headmistress, I’m just so busy at the moment.”

“Mummy’s a professor, did you know?” asked Livvie.

“No I didn’t, congratulations.”

“Thank you but it’s only a temporary measure.”

“But your talent is being recognised, so congratulations Professor Cameron.”

“It’s Watts, she uses her maiden name professionally,” chided Trish and I blushed nearly as deeply as Maria did.