The Daily Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 2453 by Angharad Copyright© 2014 Angharad All Rights Reserved.

I arrived at the back door and knocked on it, a voice from inside shouted, “I’ve a gun here, go away.” It would be just my luck to escape execution by a gangster only to be killed by my family as I returned home. Fate seems to have a wonderful sense of irony.

“It’s me, Daddy, it’s Cathy.”

“It’s no a trap?”

“No, just let me in, Daddy, Cortez is dead.”

I seemed ages before all the bolts were undrawn and locks undone and I noticed I was trembling. He wanted to know how I’d got out and why I had blood and brains splattered over me. I told him what I knew, which wasn’t much. In return he told me the lights had come back on but not the phones. As if to prove him wrong my mobile peeped. It was Jim.

“Is everyone all right?” he asked.

“Yes.”

“Good. The body has been removed, the prisoners removed including your injured one. Your arrow has been removed too. None of this ever happened.”

“But what do we tell the police?”

“Nothing.”

“What about the two officers we had here?”

“They were withdrawn.”

“A couple of hours earlier they wouldn’t allow me to visit Sammi.”

“Things change.” He certainly sounded as if he had.
“What will the police think if Cortez suddenly disappears?”

“He won’t, they’ll find his body when we want them to.”

“Won’t they implicate me?”

“No.”

“Will they try to implicate you and your friends?”

“No evidence.”

“What about the one I shot?”

“He’ll survive—we explained the facts of life to all of them. They could piss off into the sunset or join their boss on a morgue slab. Seems like none of them were that loyal after all.”

“But they could talk—to the police, I mean.”

“They think we are the police.”

“Oh.”

“Got to go, I’ll send the account to Simon.”

He was gone before I could ask any further questions. I went upstairs and showered bagged up the clothes I’d worn and burned them. The children were glad the threat was over. To be honest, so was I. Cortez was dead, killed by a single head shot. A marksman’s shot. He was taken out by a sniper. I wasn’t sure how good his sights were, so could he have shot me?

Understandably the girls were a bit scared when they went to bed. I told them that it had been a big mistake and we’d overreacted when the lights went out. It saved me asking them to keep any further secrets—children shouldn’t have to do that, keep secrets. I know I was lying to them and the older ones would know as well but I’d wait until they asked before I’d level with them.

In bed that night I felt glad I had Simon with me. I wasn’t scared exactly, more shocked at being so close to death again. I didn’t realise that in the heat of battle I felt more angry than scared, but now...now I felt shocked. Simon seemed to realise, especially when I told him what had happened and he held me tight all night.

The next morning, I awoke to find him emerging from the shower. “Did you know anything about all this beforehand?” I enquired.

“I knew the plan was to capture or eradicate him.”

“Were those Jim’s friends?”

“I have no idea, but when I knew they were camping in the orchard, I thought something was imminent.”

“Will you have to pay for all this?”

“I’ll have to stand a nice dinner to the Minister for Internal Security.”

“What about Jim?”

“He can buy his own.”

“But we have to pay him, right?”

“For keeping out of the way—probably.”

“What?”

“Look, I’m not supposed to tell you this...”

“Perhaps you’d better not then.” I replied meaning the exact opposite.

“We’re too important to be killed.”

My response was to burst out laughing.

“It’s true. If someone managed to pop off one of us two things would happen.”

“Yeah, a post mortem and a funeral.”

“Very funny. If you’re going to mess about I won’t bother saying anything.”

“Okay, shoot.” I realised what I’d said after it left my gob.

“I think that’s in poor taste given we’re all in mourning for Mr Cortez.”

My puzzled look must have pushed his laughter button too hard because he fell on the bed roaring with laughter.

“You bastard,” I hissed slapping him.

“The look on your face, was priceless.”

I simply glared at him.

“As I was saying. A murder of one of the family could cause a run on the bank’s reserves and be bad news for the Bank of England, so we’d have to stop trading.”

“And the second?”

“It would cost the government billions in hours. Rather than having that happen, it’s cheaper to have such threats removed.”

“So that was the police last night?”

“Uh, not exactly.”

“It was an army unit, then?”

“Shall we say the Home Office dealt with it except of course there’ll be no records anywhere.”

“That was effectively an execution—they only wanted us as bait.”

“A bit like having a tethered goat to attract a rogue tiger.”

“That’s giving him a status he doesn’t deserve, rat would be more appropriate.”

“It’s all irrelevant now.”

“So why were you so irritated about not being able to go to work?” I challenged him.

“I didn’t know which day anything would happen and I had things I should have done.”

“You had me fooled.”

“I wasn’t trying to deceive you, I honestly had things to do and being stuck here prevented me from doing them.”

“But Cortez nearly killed me.”

“Only because you felt a need to play Batgirl or whatever. I kept telling you to stay here.” His remark made me blush, is that what he really thinks of me, my need to play Batgirl? If he tells me it’s a bit of my male upbringing, I’ll leave him. “You knew we had two professionals out there but had to interfere.”

I felt my eyes fill with tears. “I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment to you.” I pushed past him and locked myself in the bathroom where I howled. He was still sitting on the bed, albeit now dressed.

“You’ll never be a disappointment to me, Cathy. You are the centre of my universe. I’m sorry if I sounded cross with you.”

“I half expected you to tell me I only do it because I’m really a boy.”

“I’ll never say that to you because I don’t believe you ever were one and I’m hurt you could even think that.”

“I’m sorry, perhaps I really am a disappointment,” I said before I dissolved into incoherence weeping copiously.

I felt his arms around me and he squeezed me tightly. “You’ll never disappoint me. This has been traumatic for all of us, especially you. Just let it go, if you can and know we all love you as the most wonderful wife and mother we’ll ever meet.” He squeezed me again and told me he really did have to go to work. Naturally, I cried myself to sleep and felt like a zombie when Trish came in to ask if they were going to school. It was one mad rush but they got there—no thanks to me. Sometimes I think being a wife and mother is harder than being a super-heroine—Batgirl indeed!