As the court stood for the arrival of the judge my heart skipped a beat. Today was the day.

The judge’s gavel banged and everyone sat down.

The court clerk stood and said.
“The High Court Family Division is now sitting. Lord Justice Parker presiding” He paused.
“Mrs Virginia Watson vs. Mr Raymond Watson. A request for damages due to the perverted behaviours over many years by the Defendant, Mr Raymond Watson”

He sat down.
The Barrister acting for Mrs Watson stood up, adjusted her wig and stepped before the bar of the court. She made motions to begin her opening speech.
“Before you begin Mrs James” said the Judge.
“Please remember that this is not a trial by Jury. There will be no playing to the audience or Jury. I will have only the facts presented”
“Yes M’Laud” said Mrs James. Then she continued.
“And respectfully M’Laud, its Ms James”
“Mrs James how many times have you appeared before me?”
“Many times M’Laud”
“And do I see an engagement ring, a wedding ring and is that an eternity ring on your ring finger”
“Yes M’Laud”
“I take it you are still married to Mr James?”
“Yes M’Laud”
“Then you are legally Mrs James. As I said, only the facts are to be presented here. The fact is that outside this court you may call yourself “Dora the Female Explorer” for all I care. Inside, I insist on the Truth and only the Truth. Do I make myself clear?”
She turned a nice shade of pink.
“Yes M’Laud”
“Good. Before you begin, I would like to ask your client a few questions”
“M’Laud, this is most irregular”
“It might be that Mrs James. However they will not prejudice your case at all. I need a few items clarified before we begin and possibly waste lots of everyone’s time and certainly money”
She thought for a few seconds.
“Very Well M’Laud. I agree reluctantly to your request”

“Mrs Watson. Will you please stand and take the oath”
The court clerk stepped over to her and handed her a bible.
“Do you swear…”
“I do” replied Mrs Watson.

“Mrs Watson, will you please confirm that you have taken appropriate legal advice before bringing this case”
“Yes Sir”
“Mrs Watson, will you please confirm that your legal advisors have fully briefed you on ALL the possible outcomes of this case and their implications these outcomes might have on you financially”
She paused for less than a second but she answered positively
“Yes they have”
“Very will. You may step down. I am satisfied that we can continue”
“Mrs James. Do you have any questions regarding those two questions of clarification?”
“No M’Laud I do not”
“Please proceed. Remember there is no Jury present so no embellishments just the plain facts will do”

She picked up her notes and began.
“If it pleases M’Lord, the facts of this case are as follows. My client Mrs Watson is suing for divorce from her husband of some 25 years for reasons I shall go into great detail later but are simply, that he is a pervert and has many perverted views towards his wife and has repeated tried to get her to perform perverted acts of a sexual nature”

“I would like to begin by outlining the background to the case”

She spent the next 20 minutes detailing their life as a married couple.
Let me explain my part in this sorry tale of lust and wanton behaviour. I’m the husband in this. Ray Watson is the name. This is my story. To help you dear reader, my thoughts as the case proceeds are in italicised font.

Gini & I were, well still are married and have been for 25 years. I can’t say these past few years have been happy ones but I expect that will become clear as events are revealed in this case.

“Mrs Watson, can you please describe the reasons for calling your husband a pervert and sexual deviant”
“He made some very unnatural demands of a deeply offensive nature to me”
“Before you explain them in detail, can you tell the court why you think he made them?”
“He is a pervert and perverts do strange things”
“Please explain the details of his perversions to the court”
“He wanted to engage in bondage while we had sex”
She paused
“He wanted me to use a dildo and well, stick in into his anus while I gave him oral sex”
Again a pause.
“He talked about wearing chastity belts to enhance denial”
“He is a chronic masturbator”
Allegations were coming faster now.
“He wanted to make love to me dressed as a woman”
I knew it. She couldn’t resist that one. I am going to enjoy this.

“Those are pretty substantial allegations. Will you please elaborate? Take the bondage one first” prompted her counsel.
“He wanted us to have sex while tied up. That is not natural”
My barrister made an attempt to object. I tugged him back into the seat and pointed at the notes in front of him.
He looked at me and mouthed “are you sure”
I nodded.
She is only telling part of the story and has been well briefed by her Counsel.

“What about the anal sex?”
“He bought me a large vibrating dildo for my birthday and suggested I use it on his anus while giving him oral sex. I have never done and never will do either of them”
Gottcha!

“The final allegation about him dressing up as a woman and having sex? How did this come about?”
“I found some stockings, a skirt, a pair of high heeled shoes in his size and some makeup. When I challenged him about it, he said that he dreamed of making ‘lesbian love’ to me while dressed as a woman. I find the whole idea of that totally repugnant”
Oh Dear. What a Whopper!

“What do you find repugnant Mrs Watson? Lesbian Sex or him dressed as a woman?” her Counsel prompted.
“Both. Especially the latter. Just look at him? What sort of madness is he suffering from? How could he ever hope to become a woman?”
“Exactly!” agreed her Counsel.
“Mrs James! It is not the job of Counsel to offer opinions at this stage. Just deal with the facts” interjected the Judge.
“If it pleases the court, I was agreeing with the witness that given the physical characteristics of the defendant, it would be pretty well impossible for him to become a realistic woman”
“That is not something we have to agree/disagree upon Mrs James. The facts are that is its Mrs Watson’s opinion that Mr Watson could not ever become a passable woman. It is not for you to decide yes or no to that question. It is not for me either unless Mrs Watson was afraid of being embarrassed by Mr Watson going out in public dressed as a woman. Is that the question you are trying to ask?”
Mrs Watson paused.
“Yes. Thank you M’Lord”
“Mrs Watson, is that what you were afraid of?”
“Yes it was”

And so it continued for over an hour.

At the end of it, the truth had been given according to my dear wife.

My counsel rose to question her.
“Mrs Watson, I only have a few questions for you” he began.
“Firstly, how many people have you had sexual relations with?”
“Just the one. My repugnant husband”
“Mrs Watson” Interjected the Judge.
“Please do not allow that sort of statement to leave your lips again. This is a place where civility will be paramount. If you are asked for a direct opinion, then you may say that sort of thing otherwise I suggest you keep them to yourself. I expect that your counsel will agree with me on this point”
She looked at her counsel who nodded.
“Good. Please continue you cross examination”
When was the last time you had sex with your husband?”
“Oh, about 10 years ago”
“Any why did they stop?”
“I don’t know really”
“Is it perhaps that you told him that it hurt when he penetrated you?”
Exactly what I had said in my deposition.

“Yes possibly” she replied.
“Now, could any of the things he asked of you be construed as trying to liven up your sex life?”
“No one”
“You astound me Mrs Watson. You meant to say trying to get you to dress up a bit more sexily can’t be interpreted as being an attempt to enliven your sex life?”
“No sir it cannot” she replied sternly.
She was always a great actress.

“Now, moving to the accusation of bondage. Is it not true to state that it was Mr Watson who wanted to be tied up?”
She didn’t answer.
“Come on now Mrs Watson. Please answer this very simple question”
She still said nothing.
“Mrs Watson. Please answer this very simple question” said the judge.
She thought for some time.
“Yes it is. So what. The whole idea is a perversion”
“Possibly Mrs Watson but his request to be tied up by you hardly represents abuse by him upon you as the wording of your complaint suggests”
“Anyway, let us not dwell to long on that. You said that he wanted to make love to you dressed as a Woman”
“Yes.”
“Can you please tell me exactly how this came about?”
“I was looking for a case in the loft when I came upon a bundle of women’s clothes that were obviously not mine. At first, I thought that they belonged to some other woman. Then I realised that the shoes were in his size. I was almost sick at the thought of him trying to look like a woman”
“Your husband is 6ft 4inches tall and is built like a Rugby Prop Forward indeed. He freely admits that to go out in public dressed as a woman would take a lot of courage and would indeed be foolhardy. But what about acting out some fantasy in the privacy of your own home? There is no danger of public humiliation then. Do you agree Mrs Watson?”
She didn’t answer straight away.
“Mrs Watson?”
“I suppose so”
“Is that a yes or no?”
“Yes” she replied with a bit of confidence.

“Mrs Watson, it says in the deposition made by your husband and not challenged by yourself that, if I may quote directly,”
“She does not really care about her appearance at all. I made the suggestion that with the application of a little makeup, she could look quite attractive especially when she went for job interviews. She really chewed me out upon that suggestion. I got a lot of grief for several days.

Sometime later, I noticed she had a flat tyre. She was out doing some shopping. I decided to change the tyre and set out to do that. In her car, they spare was located under the floor of the boot so I had to remove a few things so that I could get at the tyre. One bag I moved was not closed properly. Inside was a large amount of makeup. At first I thought that it might have been mine but I soon realised it was expensive brands like Clinique & Dior. For someone who didn’t use the stuff, then, well it was very strange indeed. I changed the tyre and replaced everything without her noticing. I wonder what she would have said if she had realised what I had found”

“Now Mrs Watson, I have to admit you are pretty well made up here in court today. How does that stand against your deposition stating that you don’t ever wear makeup. Before you answer, perhaps you would like to open your handbag for the court to see”

“I. I don’t think that is of any relevance”
“Mrs Watson. The aurora that you are presenting to this court is that anything other than plain sex with the man on top of you, a woman who wears no makeup and frankly dresses to disappear into the background. Given that, I find it strange that you have some makeup in your purse, a hidden stash of it in your car. I think the court deserves to hear why you are perhaps living a double life?”

She said nothing. She went very red in the face.
Just before the judge asked her to answer my counsel continued.
“No matter Mrs Watson. You will get another chance to answer this question in your own time later. Perhaps after you have had some more discussion with your counsel especially in respect to the laws of perjury”
“Moving on, would you like to comment about the items I have ringed in red on this credit card bill of yours which you threw away a few weeks ago?”
Her counsel was on her feet.
“Objection!”
“M’Lord, I am trying to show the court that if Mrs Watson accuses Mr Watson of living a double life then she is also living one”
He thought for a few seconds.
“Please continue. I am interested in seeing what you have to present”
“Thank you M’Lord”
“Mrs Watson?”
“If you look, you will see that the date of the bill is well before you separated from your husband. The shop concerned is Anne Summers. A well known chain of Sex Shops. Would you like to tell the court what it was that you bought?”
“I.. I can’t remember” she stuttered.

“If you can’t remember, then I will show you an identical item”
She went to a big bag beside her desk and produced a sex toy. It was a double ended dildo”
“Mrs Watson. Are you a lesbian? This can only be used by women unless you engage in anal intercourse with a man and that if I read you correctly is not on the menu at any price”
“I ask you again, Mrs Watson, are you a lesbian?”
“I don’t know”
“Are you bisexual?”
“I don’t know”
“Have you had sexual relationships with a woman?”
“Yes” she replied getting her composure back.
“Was it while you were living as a married couple?”
“Yes”. Her eyes went into the public gallery.
My counsel saw this and looked at the woman she was staring at.
“Is this woman present in court today?”
“Yes”
“I think the court has got the idea”

“Moving on, do you think that your husband has ever been unfaithful or has at any time during your marriage engaged in sexual activities with another person other than your good self?”
“No. Why is that relevant?”
“Because Mrs Watson, you have admitted to this court that you have been in a sexual relationship with another woman. You have accused your husband of many things. He could have accused you or infidelity but he has chosen not to. Why do you think that is?”
“I don’t know. You will have to ask him”
“Oh Mrs Watson, I did. His answer was that he was too much of a gentleman to name names in respect of your sexual partners”

Mrs Watson was outraged.
“One final question Mrs Watson.”
“You claim that you find your husbands wish to make love to you in the privacy of you bedroom while he was dressed as a woman totally abhorrent. I am sure that in this day and age, you are all for equality of the sexes. Mrs Watson, if you are so appalled at the thought of your husband wearing women’s clothes, why are you wearing mostly male orientated clothing to appear before this court.”
“I’m not”
“Please Mrs Watson. I see that is a Mans Shirt you are wearing. If my eyes don’t deceive, your trousers button like a male pair would. I put it to you Mrs Watson, that you go out of your way to make yourself appear to be very masculine. Yet you can’t stand the thought of your husband wearing feminine clothes”
She stood there with her mouth open raging with fury.

“No further Questions M’Lord”
“Thank you. I will retire to consider my decision.”

[two hours later]

“I have weighed the evidence presented before me today. I have to say Mrs Watson that you are trying to have your cake and eat it. I am denying your petition for divorce on the grounds presented. I am granting you a divorce on the grounds of your unreasonable behaviour. Correspondingly, I award the house and all shared assets to Mr Watson. You are to receive no Alimony as from your financial declarations to the court, you are earning considerably more than Mr Watson. I also award costs to Mr Watson. Mrs Watson, marriage is a partnership. There is give and take in any partnership. You have demonstrated that you are unwilling to give while wanting to take everything. You have 28 days to remove yourself and your belongings as declared to the court from your former home.”
He smiled at the fuming woman.
“I will take a dim view of any damage to the contents or the building in the interim period. If I see you again on this matter, I will hold you in contempt of court. Do I make myself clear?”
The Judge banged his gavel without waiting for her to reply.

It was over.

Raymond Watson walked out of court a happy man. The former Mrs Watson left court hoping from some solace from her lover. It didn’t last as her lover was after her just for her money. Now that she had none, she disappeared into the sunset the next day.

Raymond on the other-hand, once the press attention had died down sold the house and moved to another part of the country where he soon became romantically engaged with a woman who didn’t mind his so called perversion.

Everyone involved got their “Just Deserves”…

[The End]