I can't believe this happened to me.

From what Sam was telling me I was acting like a very girly girl without a trace of boy in me all morning. Strangely I have no memory of some of what she said. I had to believe her as the makeup on my face was a total mess if a bit crude. The fact that I was in the uniform again was a bit of a eye opener as I hadn't noticed it.

My first instinct was to run upstairs and wash the crap off my face along with putting on some normal clothes. I did but for some reason I did not wear socks nor did I change my hair or underwear. A comfy pair of jeans and a sweater, no not one of those itchy wool things, a simple university sweater of some type. The uniform was laying hell bent all over the floor of my room and I didn't care a wink. Not that I would need it today. The butler's costume was on the back of my door. Black pants, white shirt with buttons on the wrong side, offwhite bow tie and a tan vest. There was a tailed blazer as well but I could not see any sign of buttons.

Aside from the shirt whose buttons were hidden anyways by a flap of fabric the rest looked perfectly normal for a guy to wear. Add my black and uncomfortable unbending dress shoes and I would be a dashing male butler. I thought about trying it on before hand but decided against it. One thing I did notice was that the black fabric was a dead on match for that black skirt I acquired at Edna's. Spooky to say the least as it made me believe that although cut in a male pattern the costume may be made of more feminine materials.

As I walked by my dresser to the door I saw the makeup that Barb had given me and had this really strong urge to put on some mascara and lippy. I resisted it but the urge was there. I got me to thinking about what Sam had said. Along with what others had been saying to me last week and this one. Was I really that much of a girl naturally? I knew I didn't want to be one. That I was certain of. However was Belle a real part of me that had developed somehow into a person all on her own? Was I going completely nuts? I couldn't answer these questions. I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I needed to know.

The strangest question was did I really have to be male or female? Could I not be some sort of both as needed? Why not. Really why couldn't I be? Yeah mom and dad would be freaked a bit not to mention my extended family but now that my Belle side had woken up I had the strangest feeling that it would not go back to sleep either.

I contemplated this all the way back to the living room couch where Sam was trying to reach a cup of juice on the table. I rushed to help her and gave her the cup.

"Feeling better?"she asked.

"Yeah a little. Sam I don't look to girly do I?"

"Sorta." she said while looking at me.

"Sorta?"

"Well from the hair, face, and breasts you do, however your movements are all male. Then there is your voice."

"My voice?"

"Yeah it's like neither one or the other right now."

"Huh?"I'm confused.

"Well this morning you were doing my little girl happy daddy voice. Now its passable as a boys voice since its flat."

"So my normal voice." phew that's a relief.

"No."What!

"Bill your voice is more in the middle. I can't explain it more than that. Somehow it really suits you."

"What do you mean it suits me?" I think I knew the answer to this but I hoped it wasn't that.

"Well it's more like it used to be before it changed." Shit it is that.

"Uh.. well.." stupid mouth shutup!

"Okay now that begs me to ask. Spill it already." Sam is not one to wait.

"That's because this is my.. oh nevermind it's not important."

"What's not important young man?" oh shit when did mom come back in.

"Bill..." Dad has that look in his eyes.

"I just wanted to fit in." see all said all done now leave me alone.

"Continue." dad man of few words but you get it quick. Come to think of it Sam is the same way.

"Well I kinda sorta learned to speak with a more manly voice to not get left out."

"So your voice never changed?" mom asked while looking at me with her head tilted slightly to the side.

"It did! You and everyone just didn't notice. Nobody noticed! I was getting treated like a little kid and had to do something. So I tried to speak like dad except that didn't work. Eventually I settled on this voice." which was the one I normally used while not super deep like dad it was deep enough so that people knew I was male. I guess all that practicing with working my voice is what led to me being able to mimic people.

"Bill we would have loved you the same there was no need to put on.." amazing how parents can speak the same words at the same time.

"That's not it! Don't you get it people were thinking I was Sam's little sister! I'm a guy dammit not a girl!" There now leave it alone! I glared at my parents. I should have glared at Sam too.

"How's that working for you Belle?" she said with this smirk on her face. I knew she said Belle just to get my goat. I hate to admit it but she is sorta right. Okay she is right dammit! This has not been working out. Instead of people sometimes mistaking me for a girl, they now thought it all the time instead. I crumpled against the back of the couch I hadn't realized I had sat down on again.

"Why can't I be a normal boy? Is that just to hard to ask?" I brought my knees up to my chest and wrapped my arms around them.

Mom's whole face changed in an instant from one of puzzlement and anger to one of love. It hurt but in a good way as she glided towards me and hugged me. Sam shifted on the couch and also gave me a hug one armed. Dad well he wanted too you could see it but he held himself back.

"Bill I.. Let me try that again." mom was trying to talk to me about something but I wasn't sure what yet."God gave each of his children free will but he also set each of us a task to overcome. For each of us that task is different. It may be that you are meant to, sometimes, be Belle for certain things. I'm not saying you should or should not be Belle but it seems that Belle is a real part of you. I.."she looked down at this"I think you need to see someone like a therapist or even a psychologist maybe." She looked to dad when she said this. Which happened to make me look and I caught a glimpse of something in his face. I don't know what this is but it's something. He turned and left to go outside with a mutter of paper or something. We do not have a subscription for a newspaper so it can't be that.

Mom showed me how to wash your face and pat it dry before putting in a drop or two of Visine in each eye to reduced the tender swelling from crying so much. Which helped and soon our eyes were back to normal..mostly. She kept me busy with little things like once again helping Sam get ready. However instead of just makeup she and Sam also showed me a few things about choosing an outfit. I know deep down this is more of a girls thing but I can also see how this would help me as a whole. My first pick of a plain black tshirt to go with Sam's long wrap skirt didn't award me brownie points. We kinda laughed about it too after I got it, it took me over an hour I'm sure, but get the idea I did.

Dad came home with a lunch treat for us all of two veggie meat pizza's. There is this pizzeria in town where the Italian guy, he really is from Italy, makes his own sausages and sauces with his Grecian wife. They had us try a number of their veggie peperoni sausages along with a number of other customers till they got the recipe just right. It's made with soy meal and a couple of plants that I cannot remember the name of. It tastes pretty good, and from what I'm told, better than the real thing. He says it requires him to cook a pizza a different way but then again his pizza's are like nothing else around either. The only part of the pepperoni sausage that has just a touch of meat so to speak is the wrapper. If you don't know sausages are made in intestines from animals. I have heard of non animal versions that are tried, usually paper of some type but these are only good for smoked sausages.

Still it makes a very good pizza and we all chow down. Mom starts to correct me to eat more like a lady before she says sorry and we laugh a little. I did slow down and not inhale the pizza but that's about it. Dad had gotten a paper while he was there and was flipping through it reading when his pizza slice slipped from his fingers. This made us get up to look at the paper on the table infront of him. I could see even upside down a picture of a St Mary's school girl from where I was.

"Hey who's the babe in the skirt?" I asked dad. He looked up and turned the paper around to show me a better view. I can see why he dropped his pizza. That cute babe was in fact me!

Local schoolgirl steps up to plate on small screen

The young actress Belle Thorne made her television debut when the cast and crew of our local station received shocking news. Bethany Peters, daughter of Nathan and Mary Peters, died yesterday after a long hard battle from Leukemia. Funeral services are to be held tomorrow on the 14th for little Bethany on her 10th birthday. Friends and family have reported that she was quite sad in the hospital where she had been staying under care until young Belle had brought joy into her small life. We do not know yet if young Ms. Thorne will be attending the service. The service is to be done by invite only and is not open to the public.

Continued page 11. I finished my drooping piece of pizza but it tasted like cardboard.

"Well it's a good thing I don't have an invitation to go to it as I don't have a single decent dress to wear." I said in light humour to lighten the mood.

DING DONG! Nuuuu it's the front door!