Previously

I felt a bit of a tremble which I don’t normally feel any more and Jean was waiting to talk and she said “Carla, what took you so long? I have been waiting for you and I have been listening to the three of you gossiping and inspecting each other. I think that's a bit naughty but I had a look anyway. ''Giggle'' Sam and Jenny were also trembling a bit but didn't say anything.

Jean said “Hello girls. I can't keep this up very long but can you see me?”

Both Jenny and Sam said “Wow!! Yeah, and hear you too.”

Sam said “You are really pretty.”

Jean said “As pretty as my sister?” and Jenny started to get the giggles.

Jean said “That is all the strength I have so I’ll see you.” and she faded till she was gone.

Mummy and Mary were standing at the door and switched the light back on and said “What is going on in here girls?”

I replied, “It is all Jean's fault, she started it.” and we all got the giggles.

Mummy said “Carla, you know I listen in to your conversations with your sister so don’t you act the little 'Miss Innocent' with me young lady.”

We all said, “Yes ma'am sir.”

Mary said, “Ok lights out and go to sleep, the day is over.” We went to sleep in a tight cuddle.

Wednsday 8/7/59.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I wasn't supposed to do much walking, so the next couple of days would be mainly spent watching telly or reading Samantha's books, or Jenny and I talking about how we were going to help Christine become a total girly girl. Jenny was getting excited about going to Sydney and being there for almost a week to see her Gran and go to the Taronga Zoo.

Mummy was busy organising all the travel arrangements for our trip to Sydney. When she finished making all the phone calls she came into the lounge where we were sitting and sat down beside us and said, “Right, we are booked on a flight to Sydney tomorrow morning at ten o’clock and by the time we land, collect our bags and get outside to a taxi rank it will be lunch time. I have also set you two some sums to do so you don’t fall too far behind in your schoolwork.” Jenny and I both let out a sigh, but I also know that exams are coming up so it was time to do some some study. Jenny and I are good at everything but maths so that is what Mummy said we will have to concentrate on. Mummy let us watch telly till lunch and said the rest of the day would have to be spent doing maths.

We were still at it when Samantha came home from school. Sam got herself some biscuits and a drink of milk and helped us with our maths because it is her best subject and she is two years older than us so she showed us where we were going wrong. We studied right up until Mary came home and Mummy said “Ok girls, you can stop now and come and have some dinner.”

I said, “thank heaven for that.”

After dinner we watched a bit of telly and then did our packing for the plane trip the next day. We were dog-tired from the school work and all three of us girls got into the shower together.

I said, “It looks like my period is finished because there was is no blood on the pad.

While Jenny and Sam got into bed, I got Mummy to check my groin area to make sure it was all still ok.

Mummy said “Carla it looks fine, so off to bed with you and get a good night's sleep. There is going to be a couple of long days ahead for you.”

“Yes, good night Mummy.”

“Night darling.”

When I got into Samantha's bed Jenny was already asleep and Samantha wasn't far off going to sleep either, but my mind was racing at a hundred miles an hour just thinking about going into surgery and being cut open to make me look right down there. I did go to sleep but woke up a few times through the night.

We all woke up with a start when Mummy knocked on the door and said, “Up you get girls, breakfast is on the table.”

We dragged ourselves to the table to eat a breakfast of bacon and eggs and toast plus a drink of chocolate milk. Mary was still in bed and Mummy said, “Sam here is your Mum's breakfast. You can surprise her and let her have breakfast in bed for a nice change.”

Sam did as she was told and took the breakfast in to her mother.

Once Mary was up and about she she said, “Carla I will have a look at you and make sure you are ok to fly to Sydney later this morning.”

I replied “Why!! Is it dangerous for me to fly because of the hole in my groin?”

“No Carla, I just want make sure it is not bleeding any more.”

I replied, “Oh there was no blood on the pad this morning but I put another one in my knickers anyway.”

Mary said, “Good girl Carla.”

We all finished breakfast and Samantha was getting ready for school and was already dressed in her school uniform.

Jenny said “Sam, let me do your hair, it is really thick and nice to work with.”

Samantha replied. “Oh good, it can be a real pain to do it when I’m in a hurry.”

When Sam's hair was done Jenny said “Carla sit down and I’ll do yours as well.”

Mary commented “Jenny it looks like you have a good idea of what you are doing with hair, you might go into a hair dressing when you leave school.”

Jenny said “Not in Quilpie I won't.”

Mummy said, “Oh and what's wrong with Quilpie young lady?”

Jenny giggled and said, “Err — um, nothing Aunty Donna, but it is not the city is it?”

Mummy rolled her eyes and said “I hope Carla doesn’t want to go to the city as well!!”

I said, “No Mummy, bushy born and bred.”

Mary gave everyone a kiss and said “I’ll see you all when you get back next week, and Carla sweetheart, you'll be fine so don’t stress out.” She then said, “Come on Sam, I’ll walk part of the way with you to school.”

Sam gave me and Jenny a quick kiss and she was gone.

Mummy said, “Right girls I have a check list, so let's see if we have everything set to go to the airport.”

Once that was done Mummy got the card out of her purse that that funny looking woman taxi driver gave her when she dropped us two blocks from the hospital to here. Mummy rang the number and it was the main depot, and Mummy just said the driver's name and it was obviously relayed to Debbie by two-way radio because she was waiting outside the building when we got downstairs to the front entrance.

Debbie got out of the cab and said, “Good morning ladies, and where can I transport you to this fine morning?” She was dressed in a black skirt and white blouse with a black and white taxi logo on the pocket of the blouse; her hair was quite long but she had it in a loose pony-tail and it looked nice.

I said, “Debbie, I'm sorry for being rude to you the other day, but you looked like you needed a shave.”

Debbie replied “It's ok darling, it was at the end of my shift so there was a bit of stubble there.” She then said, “Sweetheart you said you were like me, but you look all girl to me.”

Mummy took over the conversation and said, “Debbie, we can discuss this on the way to the airport or we will be to late to catch our flight to Sydney.”

“Sorry luv, yes of course.”

We loaded all our things into the trunk of the cab with Debbie's help and were on our way.

Mummy said “Ok Debbie, let me explain about our little Carla and then you will understand what is going on.” After Mummy told Debbie all about me being inter-sexed Debbie said, “Oh you poor little thing.”

I replied, “No, I am loved very much by my family and that is all that matters. Does anyone love you Debbie?”

Mummy said “Carla!! There you go again.”

I replied, “Oops sorry.”

Jenny was having a giggle fit at me and Debbie said, “Yes Carla, as a matter of fact I am still married to the most understanding woman in this world. She even helps me put on my make up.”

I then said, “Will you get the op?” This time Mummy gave up and let me go.

Debbie replied, “Not at this stage luv, it is very expensive and it will take me at least three more years to save up enough money to go to Thailand and have it done over there.”

We were at the airport so my questions came to a stop. We got out of the car and Debbie got a trolley to put all the bags on and Mummy paid her for the fare. Before Debbie got back into the car she gave me a hug and said “Good luck in Sydney luv.” and got in her cab and drove off.

Mummy said, “Did you find out all you wanted to Carla, or did you want more time to interrogate poor Debbie further?”

“Mummyeee!!” All Jenny could do is giggle all the way into the airport service desk.

Once Jenny was finished giggling she looked at me. And I said, “What!!”

Jenny replied, “Carla, you are so funny sometimes.”

I said, “I’m glad you think so.” but also started to giggle and then Mummy said, “Will you two settle down and get serious.” but had a bit of a giggle herself.

Anyway onwards and upwards into the clouds above New South Wales. One and a half hours later we were back on the ground in Sydney, and half an hour later we were in a taxi going to the motel where we were going to stay. We arrived at the motel forty minutes later. The traffic there is really bad and it comes to a standstill every couple of blocks. Anyway we went into the motel and unpacked and went for a walk down the road to where the clinic was to check it out.

It looked like a mini hospital and a very new building with manicured gardens all around the front. We didn't go in and kept walking past until we reached the next intersection and on the corner there was a cluster of small shops which included a cafe with a take-away section.

Mummy said “That's handy to know because there are no cooking facilities in the motel.” but they have a restaurant attached to the motel. We went into the take-away and ordered fish and chips and some orange juice to wash it down. We sat outside under the footpath awning where they had table and chairs set up for their customers.

The fish was alright but the chips were all soggy.

Mummy said, “I'm going to have a word with the management, I wouldn’t feed these chips to an animal.”

I said, “Mummy let it go, we just wont buy any more food here.”

She replied, “Yeah I s'pose your right Carla.” After that we got up and started to walk back to the motel. Once we were back inside the motel room Mummy picked up the phone and started to dial a number and said, “The bloody phone is not working.”

Jenny said, “No Aunty Donna, you have to dial one and wait for the office to give you a line out.”

Mummy replied, “I knew that, I was just testing to see if you were paying attention.” 'Mummy hates to be wrong'.

Anyway she dialled one and got the front desk of the motel and they gave her a line without even saying anything. Once there was a dial tone, Mummy rang the number for Jenny's parents and and waited till it almost rang out but finally Jenny's mum picked it up.

Mummy said, “Hello is this Jan? Oh good. Jan we are at the motel if you would like to come and pick up Jenny now.” After giving Jan a few directions on what street the motel was on she said, “Jenny come and say hello to your Mum.”

Jenny said, “ Hello Mummy how is Gran? Alright Mummy I’ll see you soon, 'bye.”

“Mummy said she will be here to pick me up in about half an hour Aunty Donna.”

Mummy replied, “Ok Jenny, have you got all your things together so you can be ready to go when your Mum gets here?”

“I'll do that now Aunty Donna.” and she put all her things at the door.

Jenny said, “Carla I wish I could be with you when you go to the hospital but I also want to see my Gran.”

I replied, “It's ok Jenny I understand. Don’t worry about me I've got Jean looking out for me.”

Jan turned up in half an hour like she said she would. She was driving a hire car. Mummy and Jan talked for a while and then it was time for them to go. Jenny had tears rolling down her cheeks when she hugged me and said, “I’ll see you in a few days Carla, be good.”

I hugged her back and couldn't stop my tears either and said, “Just go and enjoy yourself.” and said goodbye.

Later we went to the motel restaurant to have the evening meal and then went to bed by nine o’clock. It had been a long day and Mummy and I were worn out. Mummy went to sleep pretty well straight away but I was very restless and was worried about tomorrow and being cut open. I tried to go to sleep but it was not working so I whispered, “Jean are you there”

“Of course I’m here, where else would I be, are you forgetting we are tied together by our dual soul?”

I replied “Sis can you help me get to sleep?”

Jean said, “Sure Carla, just listen to me singing and you will drop off”. Of all the things she could sing she started singing very softly ---

'You are my child of moonlight,
You call the angels down.
There is peace within my heart
Whenever you’re around.

The stars at night they all shine bright.
And darling so do you.
You are my child of moon light
And I'll always love you.

I didn't hear any more and was in dreamland for the rest of the night.

Mummy was stroking my hair away from my face which woke me up out of the best night's sleep I have ever had.

I said, “Mummy, Jean sang me to sleep last night.”

She replied, “Darling, when you asked Jean to get you to sleep, I woke up and looked at the bedside clock and it was past ten o'clock, and then I closed my eyes and saw Jean sitting on the bed stroking your face and singing a beautiful lullaby that I have never heard before. She only had to sing one verse and you were off with the pixies. Mummy said. “Jean kept singing once you were asleep and she looked at me with that angel face and I dropped off as well. Carla we are truly blessed to have this happen to us.”

“Mummy, do think we will all end up together with Jean when we die?”

“Well sweetheart, Jean seems to think so. She keeps telling you as much when she is communicating with you. So yes I do think we will all be together when the time comes.”

It was time to get up and get dressed and wait for Mummy's breakfast to be delivered to our door. Ten minutes later there was a knock on the door and a lady's voice said, “room service.” Mummy opened the door and there was a teenage girl with a breakfast tray, she said 'Morning' and handed the tray over to Mummy. I couldn't have breakfast because of my operation, so could only look on in envy as Mummy ate her bacon and eggs.

By the time she was finished it was eight thirty and we had to be at the clinic at nine am, so we grabbed my over-night bag which had my nightie and toiletries and also a warm dressing gown packed into it, and started to walk the short distance to the clinic. We walked up the steps and into the main reception area and went to the desk where an elderly lady was on the telephone.

She said to whoever was on the other end of the line “I'll have to call you back Tom” and hung up the phone and looked up at us and smiled and said, “Stupid bloody husbands always losing something.”

Mummy replied, “Yeah tell me about it.”

The lady said “My name is Rena and I run all the admin in this place. You would be be Carla” as she was looking at me above her half glasses with a smile.

I said, “Yes and this is my Mum Madonna Croft.” Mummy doesn’t officially became Mrs Croft till September but I have seen Mummy sign things M. C. Croft so I guess it is alright to call her that. Mummy looked at me and said,
“It's ok sweetheart, I have already changed my name by deed poll when you and Rita were adopted by William.”

I said, “Mummy he doesn’t go by that name.”

She replied “No, but he has to sign cheques and other legal things as William.”

I said, “Oh why?”

“Because William becomes Bill just like John becomes Jack or James into Jim.”

“Oh don’t remind me please.”

Rena was having a little giggle to her self and said, “We had better get you admitted young lady. You're supposed to be in theatre at ten thirty so I’ll call one of the nurses to take you up to the private room and get you prepared and ready for surgery.”

A nurse came down the hallway with a wheel chair and said, “Ok hop in and we’ll go for a ride up to your room young miss”

I said, “I can walk you know.” and she replied, “Honey I don't make the rules but I have to abide by them or I won't have a job - now sit.” She winked at Mummy as she said that, there is that stupid winking again, it must be a separate language or something. Anyway onwards and upwards to my room.

The nurse said “By the way I’m Judy, and I’ll be your nurse for much of your stay and I also assist Caroline in theatre so I know all about what we are about to do with you little one.”

I liked her. She was a bit of a bully but in a nice way. We entered the room and I was told to strip and put one of those stupid back to front hospital gowns on, but to have a shower first with some special kind of gel soap.

After I showered I walked out naked and asked Mummy to help me with that gown and tie it at the back. Even when it is tied your bum is still visible. Anyway that done I got up on the bed and tried to sit with my legs together because I had no knickers on.

Mummy giggled and said, “Carla darling, in a half an hour you will be out like a light and and you won't care who looks up your gown.”

I said, “Mummy, will you be in the operating theatre as well?

She replied, “Yes sweetheart, I got permission from Caroline the other day for that. Iwouldn't miss this for anything in the world, because to me it will seem like you are being born again, only this time with the right genitals.”

Just then Judy came in with a tray and some long socks to put on my legs, 'It must be cold in the operating theatre' I thought to myself. Mummy helped me putting on the leg warmers and then Judy said, “Ok darling, I am going to give you an injection to make you feel nice and relaxed but you won't go to sleep till I get you up to theatre.”

I was feeling relaxed alright! As I was being pushed down a mile long hallway and through a set of double doors, the bed thingy that I was on stopped under some real big lights that weren’t turned on. I was lifted onto another table like a bed with arms on the end which Judy called stirrups. You know!! the things you put your feet into to ride a horse.

My mind was going all funny.

I said, “Am I going to ride a horse?

Mummy was holding my hand and said, “Just relax sweetheart.”

“Yes Mummy.”

Judy said, “Ok darling I am going to give you another injection now and you will go to sleep and when you wake up you will be back in your room ok?”

I was looking at my feet up on the leg thingy's and long socks on when everything went black and I was with Jean in that green field again.

Jean said, “Hello Sis, back again?”

I said “What am I doing here this time?”

Jean said, “The doctor is making everything look right so you will look like a proper girl, like you were supposed to when you and I were born.”

I said “Jean, can't I just stay here with you? It is much nicer here and it is so quiet, and oh look! - I am wearing the beautiful gown again.”

“Carla you are just as funny here as you are back on earth.”

I said, “Where are we if we are not on earth?”

Jean replied, “Well we are sort of on earth but in the spirit realm. It is a bit hard to explain but you don’t need to worry about that Carla.” Then she said “Carla I am going to leave you now and will see you when you are back in your body ok? I love you...”

“Carla open your eyes honey you're all done.”

“Mmmuummeee, I can't see.”

“if you open your eyes you can.”

“Oh it's all blurry like last time.”

Judy said, “You'll be right in a minute Sweetheart.”

I rubbed my eyes and they started to clear. Mummy was holding my hand and I said “Have I been in the theatre yet?”

“Yes Carla, all done, all bandaged up for a couple of days but you will look just like me and Rita and even be able to have babies.”

“Mummy - Mummy it hurts a lot. Can I have something to take the pain away?”

Judy was already getting a needle ready to put into a thing that was in my arm. Mummy said, “Rest now my baby” and I was with the pixies once again.

I must have slept a few hours because the clock on the little radio said it was five thirty. I rubbed my eyes and looked around the room but there was no one in the room with me so I pressed the button that was on a lead and left laying on my tummy. It took no more than a minute for Judy to be there and she said, “Hello Sleeping Beauty, how do you feel?”

I said, “I need to do a pee!”

“Well you have a catheter in so you don’t have to go anywhere.”

“Oh ok, can I have a look at myself now.”

Judy replied, “Not for a couple of days darling, you are all bandaged up but when we change the bandages tomorrow I might let you have a little peek ok?”

I replied, “Am I a complete girl now?”

Judy said “Just like me honey, but without wrinkles and stretch marks”

“Will I get stretch marks too?”

“If you have six kids like me yeah.”

“Wow you have six kids.”

“And four granddaughters.”

I asked, “Does it hurt much when you give birth?”

“I'm afraid it does, but it was all worth the pain.”

Mummy walked through the door and said, “Pain, are you still in pain Carla?”

“No Mummy but giving birth does.”

Mummy looked at Judy who shrugged and said “She asked me if childbirth hurts.”

Mummy replied, “Carla darling, that is a long way off but yes it hurts.”

It was dinner time and the trays of food were delivered to the rooms. They even had some for Mummy which was nice because Judy likes Mummy and said we might as well get our money's worth.

Mummy said “Jenny is coming to visit in the morning as well as her Mum and they will get here by taxi because Don is doing some business on the other side of town and needs the hire car to do that. I will be here early in the morning because I want to be here when they change the dressing and also want to talk with Doctor Stanford.”

I said, “Who is doctor Stanford?”

“Caroline silly.”

“Ohh I didn't know her last name, sorry Mummy.”

”Sweetheart, sometimes when people are talking to you, you go into dreamland don’t you?”

“Yes Mummy.”

Judy came in and said, “Carla, Caroline was going to see you this afternoon but she got called away on a family matter but she will be here in the morning. If you have any questions to asked her write them down.”

Mummy stayed for another hour and I was getting tired so she said, “Carla, you are dropping off to sleep while I am talking to you, so I will go now and let you get some rest.”

She hugged me and kissed me and left to go to the motel for the night. I drifted of to sleep with Jean singing to me once again in her angel-like voice.

“The night wind sings a song to me
In whispered hushes that seem to be lullabies low.
That come and go.
That come and go so gently
Through the trees.
A sleepy song to me.”

To be continued

Next time: discovery, recovery, and home to the outback.

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