I was at that awkward age, hormones everywhere, half child half adult and being a right pain.

I had let me hair grow out of neglect really, I could not be bothered getting it cut so it just got longer and as my father increasingly got annoyed with my unkempt style it had the added pleasure of winding him up.

That was until I was seventeen, and at breakfast the issue of my hair came up again only this time mum made the comment that the ends were splitting and I should get it cut, at least a trim or the whole lot will end up a frizz. She showed me what she meant as she examined a few strands of my hair. Then father chipped in 'No way are you going to John's (his barber) Liz can take you to her salon, I guess they will hardly notice the difference seeing how you look like a girl.'
Mum stood up for me 'Fred that is unkind, he doesn’t look like a girl.'
'Well I bet if he gets his ends trimmed and give him a nice style you could not tell the difference.'
'Fred stop it, do you want him to look like a girl?'
'Might as well accept he does not look like a boy anymore.'
'He does.'
'I bet if he had one of those long wavy styles like you he would look like our daughter, if we had one.'
I decided it was time for me to get involved 'do I get a say in this?'
Father just stared at me 'Yes you get to choose, a cut like mine or a style like your mother's.'
He was really winding me up, how could he threaten me like this, I was old enough to make my own decisions. Then out of spite and bloody mindedness I made my decision. 'Mum, I think I would like to go to see your hairdresser.' Whether I did or not, it was worth it to see father's face go a bright red with frustration.
As he stormed out his last words were 'Why not dye it the same colour as well!!'

Two days later on the Saturday morning my fate was sealed. Without checking with me first, mum had gone ahead and made an appointment for me, she later said my father was being unreasonable and needed to be shown he can't always dictate how others look and behave. Some of my bloody mindedness had faded but when the trip was mentioned to father he made some comment about me being his girl which just helped fire me up again.

At the salon, mum had a chat with a woman called Dee who kept on looking over at me and saying 'yes' in a questioning tone. Then mum left us and I was settled into a chair, 'You sure you want me to do this? she asked.
I just replied 'My father's idea.'
'And you are happy with what Liz has asked me to do?'
'Can't be that bad can it?'
'Well no, not if you were a girl.'
'I just want to see his face when I get home.'
'OK then, let's get started a good wash, sort out those ends and then we see about colour and style.'
Well I never knew what to expect in terms of how long or what would happen, so I just sat back and allowed Dee to get on with whatever she was planning to do, all I expected was for my hair to look something like mum's at the end. How bad could that be, but then this is a teenage mind thinking not quite straight.

This is a studio shot of mum and though I thought it was great on her, when Dee showed me the finished cut on me I was stunned. My dark hair was gone, the tucked behind the ears look a distant memory, true I did not have the makeup but at a glance I was very much looking like a girl, and a good looking one as well. Mum came to collect a short while after, I spent this time feeling very self conscious as I was sat in the front of the street window for all to see.
'You could be sisters' Dee told mum when she arrived.
'Give over he is 20 years younger than me.' and they both giggled at the thought.
Turning to me 'Right then let's go and see what your father has to say now. You do know what you have done don't you?'
'Yes, I called his bluff.'
'Oh more than that, you questioned his authority fair enough, but you are also making other statements about your sexuality and how you see him as a role model. Anyway we had better go and face the music. It does look fantastic though, Dee always does a nice job.'

Father went virtually apoplectic, phrases such as 'no son of mine', gay, queer, nancy boy, even 'why not go the whole hog and wear a dress. At this point I retreated to my bedroom and left him to simmer down. I stood in front of my mirror and played with my new hair, it was really quite nice, I liked how it held its shape and yet I could run my fingers through it, and sweep it from my face, and even though I had had long hair for ages the way it tickled my neck and shoulders was a delight.

Later on Pete a friend called round, I was not sure how the hair would be accepted but after I had explained how it had happened he just said 'cool, does look like your mum's' and that I thought that would be that, only it wasn't. We chatted about some course work we were supposed to be doing jointly when he came out with a ridiculous but fun sounding idea. We go round to his house, borrow some of his sister's clothes and he takes me out as his girlfriend and we see how many of our mates recognise me. After a few moments of 'are you serious' and a call to his sister. There was nothing left to do but tell my mum not to wait up I was going round to Pete's and maybe onto some friends.

Kate, Pete's sister was 20 and a drama student back for the weekend. She loved the new hair and asked why, I told her. Then asked a few personal questions centred on me being a Pete's girlfriend. Then she got to work. She decided that I did not have time to do the job properly, so according to her, if I do it again I would need to shave my arms and legs, pluck my eyebrows better, get my nails manicured and maybe get a tan as I look so pale. But for now, long pants, long sleeve blouse, flats as she did not think I would cope with heels and a full face makeup. We made up a story about me being my cousin and over for the weekend, for ease this cousin, Becky, just happened to do the same courses as me. By eight I was ready, Pete and his sister rated me a 9/10, 'room for improvement then?'

'Not much but with more time I could make you into a stunner.'
I was concerned about this ease with which I was being considered good looking as a girl. 'Just the once and it is for a joke. Right.' 'Whatever you say Becky.'

Pete was 18 and could go to the pub, I was a few months off but a coke would be fine and I certainly did not want to be asked for ID. As we walked in Pete took my hand 'now remember Becky, you are a girl, we meet at a party last week.'
'OK OK, I got it.' I replied in my softest voice.
'Oh and that voice, sweet with just the right amount of huskiness, so sexy.'
'Stop Pete, just get me a coke.'

The evening was great fun, there were half a dozen of our college mates there and not one of them recognised me at first. By the end of the evening Pete had stopped pretending to be my boyfriend and we were just mates having a laugh, what was nice was that I never bought a drink even though I had cash in my handbag all the lads treated me as an honorary girl.

The walk home was interesting, three off us set off in my direction, Pete, Sam and me. We dropped Pete at his house, I promised to return the clothes in the morning, Sam then insisted he walk me to my home stating that girls do not walk alone at night and given my current look could be mistaken for a girl very easily. He then went on to compliment me on looking so good, asking if I had done it before and would I do it again, when I said no, he said shame because I looked better than many of the girls at college. I did ask if that was meant as a compliment. He confirmed it was.

Well that was where the fun stopped, I let myself in and found my parents still up watching a film on TV.
'Good night?' mum asked.
'Yes thanks.' but I forgot to alter my voice.
'Sean, a minute please.' I stood at the door hoping not to be seen, there was no way them seeing me like this would go well, I was sure they would not see it as a joke. 'My god what are you wearing? My dad was staring straight at me.
Rather lamely I tried 'It was for a laugh, Pete's idea.'
'Where did you get the clothes?'
'Kate.'
'And she did not mind?'
'No.'
‘and you have been outside like that?'
'Yes.'
That was it, the TV went off, I was told to sit in front of them, unfortunately I was so nervous I sat as I always did when in similar situation, I perched on the edge of the seat, tucked my feet under the chair, played with my fingers in my lap and looked down at them. On reflection a very feminine pose. Father went sarcastic when I told him I was wearing trousers because my legs needed a shave, 'Well maybe you get them waxed.' I was humiliated, far worse than the initial time at the salon, I just wanted out of this situation really, but the more they went on at me the more I felt my resistance building until I told them I actually like looking like a girl, it was far better than being a son. It was then mum told me she was going to have had my hair returned to my original 'style', but if I liked it so much then she would cancel and I could see how it much I like on Monday when I go to my classes. I tried stomping out of the room but with such thin soled shoes on it hurt. 'My makeup remover is in the cupboard under the sink.' These were the last words I heard of them that evening, but I could hear them talking for ages after, their voices raised at times. I had clearly caused friction between them.

The next morning my hair looked the same colour as before but the style was not as good even after a good brushing. Father just glared at me most of the day, mum caught me alone and more gently asked if it had been for a joke which I confirmed, but then told me I did in fact look really good as Becky and thought it a shame it was just a one off. Then there were the texts, friends congratulating me on a brilliant effort, Matt even asked if I would do it again for him and Sam very nearly asked me out on a date. Now I was confused. Did people actually think I wanted to dress like a girl?

Monday at college had its awkward moments as you might expect, my hair still looked very feminine, I could not sweep it behind my ears without it almost immediately coming forward, and that was without the short fringe hairs not even reaching my ears and framing my face. One unfunny teacher asked if I was a new student, Sinead perhaps. Several students pointed and made whispered remarks but nothing to hostile, a few girls asked where I had had it done, I never worked out if I was being teased or they were genuine. Anyway by the end of the week things seemed to have settled down and my hair raised hardly a comment. And after initially trying to push it behind my ears I spent time teaching myself how to use the products Dee had sold me so I could maintain the style she had created for me.

Well six weeks must have passed, my hair was still cause for a little comment which I tended to play along with by doing exaggerated girlie gestures, a la Ms Piggy. Father had pretty much calmed down as well, so I was surprised how things went when mum asked if I was going to keep my hair like it was, because if I was the roots need doing.
'Don't encourage him, bad enough he has long hair like yours, what next a facial, waxing a spray tan perhaps, why not suggest he grows his nails like you as well.'
He was just so over the top my immediate reaction was to contradict my own plans, which had been to dye it back to something like my natural colour, but with this tirade my back stiffened. 'Well I like it, and the more you hate it the more I shall enjoy it!' And with that got up and walked out to voices saying things like 'now see what you have done'

I called Dee and asked her if she would do my roots for me, surprised at the request but still able to say yes, I turned up on time at the weekend and had lovely head massage as well as having my hair restored back to it's former glory. I got home to a tense father, 'my god he has done it, I don't believe it why would a lad want such a haircut?'
'Because I like it.' I calmly replied.
'Next you will be telling me you have a boyfriend.'
Why I said what I did I am not sure 'What if I did, plenty of gay couples about you know.'
'But Sean you are a lad, you are supposed to fancy girls not act like one.'
'Well maybe I don't want to be a man if you are the model, maybe I prefer to follow mum's example.' I said it on the spur of the moment but as soon as it was out I knew it could have devastating effects. He went bright red with rage and stormed off.
Mum spoke up 'that was not very nice, he does love you.'
I just turned to her 'Could I borrow your tweezers and epilator?'
'Pardon, What for?'
'I have some unwanted hair I wish to remove.'
'You can't be serious?'
'I can't say what I just did without following it up with actions, surely that would be a sign of weakness.'
'Oh what the f##k he might stop fighting you if he sees it that way as well.'

Before he could calm down and even consider if removing my body hair and thinning my eyebrows was not a sign of weakness I had done my arms and legs, mum even offered to do my brows as she said it takes time to learn which hairs to remove for the best shape. She did not go mad but they were neater, thinner, higher and a bit farther apart.
'Mum' I asked as she plucked away 'do you think I will ever grow a beard?'
'You dad can't, so I guess you will be the same. Why?'
'Oh nothing just day dreaming.'
'Does this dreaming involve makeup?'
'Could do.'
'Well if you ever want, and I hope for your father's sake you don't, to try makeup, please ask me, I shall try and help you and hopefully stop you looking dreadful.'
'Thanks mum ' I smiled 'I might just take you up on that.' she did not smile back.

That evening I happened to be at Pete's and his sister Kate was there, we had not seen each other since she had dressed me up and immediately noticed that my hair was looking far better than it should after six weeks.
'Had my roots done today.'
'Oh' she replied 'and the eyebrows are looking very neat.'
'Yes my dad wound me up.'
'So you plucked your eyebrows.'
'No my mum did actually.'
'Your mother did, wow, she did a good job, anything else Becky (that was the first time since I had dressed that anyone had used that name) has been doing.' I slid my sleeve up to show her my arms 'and your pits?' I nodded, 'serious stuff, do you want to dress up again?'
'Not really I just do it to annoy dad.'
'Oh sure!' she then went on to suggest I was enjoying my feminine side and that mum was not as resistant as she might be, encouraging even. Then Pete joined in with a blow for any male ego, Sam, our friend, had commented quite a bit on how good I had looked in the pub, even speculating on if I would do it again, he had even been asked if he fancied me which he denied according to Pete.
'Besides your father Becky it would seem there are few barriers to you getting out there and enjoying yourself.' Kate concluded. That I hoped would be an end to all this 'me being a girl' stuff.

It was warm the next day and I wore shorts and a tee to sit outside while I studied. That was until the peace was shattered by father walking past.
'You did it then.'
'Did what, shaved yourself like a girl.'
'Oh that, yes,' then because he was being so anti, or maybe because it was true 'you should try it, makes the skin feel so much nicer.'
'You think all this is a joke, the hair the shaving.'
'No joke I assure you.'
'So what next, long nails, makeup maybe a dress just too really wind me up?'
'You are winding yourself up without my help, but if I wanted too I would see no reason to pay attention to my appearance so I look (I nearly said better but pretty came out)'
He walked off calling for mum 'Liz have a word with that son he wants to look pretty, give me strength.'

Mum came out with a cold drink and sat beside me. 'Oh I do wish you two would stop fighting.'
'Not me mum, all him wanting me to be the alpha male.'
'Oh I know you are not like him in many ways, both stubborn though.'
'Mum can I ask you a question,’ she nodded 'why did you help me yesterday?'
'Wanted to make sure you did not make a mess.'
'Nothing to do with you quite liking me being a bit feminine, a substitute daughter perhaps?'
'Can't deny I would have liked a sister for you, but we could only have you.'
'I know, but you did my brows and did offer to show me makeup.'
'No that was just a caution to stop you making a mess. No if you was to push this as far as I think it might go, then I would expect you to do it properly, men in skirts who look like men, well besides Scots in kilts, look well, weird. If you ever wear a dress and I have anything to do with it you would have to look like a girl.' then she seemed to look into the distance, 'perhaps I do miss not having a daughter.' then she snapped out of it 'that is still no reason to wind your father up.'
It was now time to tease her 'so mummy if I got myself a nice dress you would help me look pretty.'
'Don't twist my words.'
'But Sam has been asking if I would go out with him and I was thinking of saying yes, and it would be brilliant if you would just make sure I do it right, don't want to look like a clown do I.'
'You what, is this really true, you are winding me up?'
'Nope apparently Sam fancies Becky.'
'I hope you told him no.'
‘not had chance, but why not?'
'Just not right.'
'But your friends Shirl and Jane are gay, why not me?' I was making this up as I went enjoying the reaction I was getting.
'That's different.'
'Not really, so if Sam was to ask would you mind helping me?'
She had had enough, she got up and walked away clearly annoyed with me or herself, maybe both.

The subject of how I looked did not come up again, an uneasy peace descended for a couple of weeks. I kept up my hair grooming regime because I liked the attention and the way it looked when finished, I even tweezed out a few more hairs making the brows thinner, and even though no one had noticed yet I was filing my nails rather than clipping them. Then two things happened separately but together made for big change. First dad told us that he had been asked by work to do a site job, he usually avoided these but maybe he wanted a break from home, anyway it would mean 10 days away. Mum made all the right noises I just felt relieved that I would not be confronted with his attitude for a bit. The second thing which unexpectedly coincided with this was some friends calling round when mum was home, she knew a few of them including Sam and had a casual chat with them before leaving us alone to decide what we were doing that evening. Later Sam caught me on my own and relayed an odd conversation he had with my mother, in a round about way she asked Sam what he thought of Becky, being blunt Sam had said it had been a good bit of fun, but got the feeling she was up to something. Later on after he had had a beer and me a coke, he asked if I still dressed up, I said no, he said shame, he could do with a partner for a party he had been invited to. I automatically said 'what, you take a girlfriend not a mate to a party.' Then the penny dropped, he was inviting Becky. 'Are you serious?' he nodded 'but it was not for real, we let you know after a bit.'
'Yes, but you were believable, and I could do with someone to keep me company, and I think your mum would help.'
'What' I looked at him open mouthed. Then Matt and Pete joined us, quickly picked up the conversation and confirmed I could pull it off and from stories Sam had told of these parties his parents took him to, Sam could do with a friend for company. I felt cornered even my mates wanted me to be a girl, at least for Sam. It was when I got home that I really felt the pressure.
'Sam is a nice lad.' mum commented.
'I know a good laugh. Why do you ask?'
'He was the one you said fancies Becky the other week when you were winding me up.'
'Yes that is the Sam who' I swallowed nervously 'fancies Becky.'
'I was just thinking, what with your dad away and you on half term holidays' now it was her turn to swallow nervously 'do you think Sam would like to meet Becky again?'
I stared straight at her 'Mum, what are you saying?' I was starting to sweat and possibly blush.
She took both my hands and took a moment to look at my neat nails, then she looked me in the eye, 'I suppose I would like to challenge you to be as feminine as possible. Then you might get these silly notions out of your head and your father can relax around you again.'
'But what if I like it?' I asked rather cheekily, thinking that I might.
'A risk I am prepared to take.'
I swallowed hard not sure how my next words might be taken 'Sam has asked if Becky would go to a party with him.'
'I suppose that is a good focus for us. When?'
'While dad is away.'
'Perfect, I suppose. Do his parents know who Becky really is?'
'I have only met his mum once, don't know what Sam will tell them.'
'Right if my plan is going to work you are going to have to accept whatever I suggest, no questions, no sulks, and no fights. You do what I say and you will be the best girlfriend I can make out of you for Sam.'
It was my turn to be nervous, if I accepted without asking what she planned I could be letting myself in for all sorts of trouble, if I say no then they have won I will have backed down. I said nothing at first, looked at my feet, then at mum's high heels, then moving up, her skirt, soft blouse, until I reached her smiling face. 'A deal' she asked.
'A deal' I confirmed, feeling my confidence ebb from me.

'Ok your father is away from Tuesday, you break up?'
'Already finished.' I interrupted.
'In that case, while we are at work on Monday you will go shopping for some clothes, your choice but you will need panties and bras as well as at least one pair of shoes and some outer clothes.'
It was at that moment I thought that maybe I had bitten off more than I could cope with, mucking about as Becky was one thing, shopping for girls clothes and having to be subject to mum's rules was another.

Monday I did after much careful planning and working out where to shop without being too closely watched, I finally got home with a pack of panties, three bras, a pack of tights, one pair of denim shorts and a plain white tee. Along with a pair of black flats. I also had a visit from Sam who was certainly pleased that I had agreed to his request, even offering to cover some of the costs.

Tuesday, mum told me flats would be no good for a party I needed heels, the higher the better, then suggested I take Sam and let him choose. It was my first day in girls’ underwear and though I did not fill the bra I felt rather self conscious that the cups might be showing. Sam chose black platforms, peep toe, sling backs and a towering spike for a heel. Mum smiled at his choice and asked if I had tried them on, I said they were really difficult to balance and walk in, she just told me I had till the party to get used to them. Tough.

Wednesday, dad has gone, mum has made me wear my girl’s clothes including the heels and told me that she expects a daughter to help about the house and gave me a list of cleaning jobs she wanted doing. By the time she came home I was shattered and my feet sore. Mum just remarked 'Not so easy?'

Thursday, I slept in a satin nightie mum lent me, that was very nice. She had given me a quick run through of what cosmetics she has, then told me that with the aid of a book I should practice a daytime look and one for the party. she also lent me her maxi dress for the day. My first ever dress and it was quite awkward to get used to I can tell you. I had tea ready for her when she got home and my face done as well as could manage.

Friday. I had to go out dressed, she allowed me a pair of her flip flop sandals. My fright for that day was to go to a shop called Nailz and get my nails done. Sam said he would pay but when he booked did not know what he was asking for. I came out with french tips extending at least 5mm past my regular length. Oh and pink toe nails.

Saturday. We were up early mum wanted to go shopping for a dress, she had me wear the maxi again and do my makeup again. I was hoping for a quick in, pick pay and leave shop. No mum said girls shop slowly, probably going back to the first thing they saw but the pleasure is in wandering around just looking and hoping something strikes you as perfect. Well I was not sure it was perfect but she chose a green dress that I felt looked ok when I tried it on for her. Next she took me to Dee's who smiled at mum then nodded to me, 'Becky is in safe hands here Liz, don't worry, see you later.' Mum left me there stood in the reception area 'Well Becky this is a turn up, did think you might be in for a trim and roots, but your mum tells me you have a date.'
'Not quite, helping a mate out.' I put in
'If you are getting all dressed up, in my books that is a date. Now we have discussed what should look good on you, so just sit back and let me get on.' As before I rather liked the attention Dee gave me as she did my hair. I had no idea what to expect, but was not surprised to see my hair change to a blonde and sweep back and down my back more than before.
Last thing on mum's list was to get me home, changed and ready for Sam picking me up at seven. I was presented with a skin coloured long line strapless bra, a pair of control panties to start with, then a suspender belt (might as well have the full works was her reasoning), sheer shiny stockings, then the green dress. The satin fabric felt really nice to touch and I was fondling the skirt possibly too much. Mum lent me a short gold necklace, a ladies watch, a bracelet to match the necklace and a couple of dress rings. To finish me off she clipped on ear rings (they hurt), sprayed me with perfume and made me walk up and down in my heels till I had got the dress to swish as I walked. Last a black shawl and small black clutch bag which she had filled with my phone, some cash, a lipstick, small brush and most shocking a tampon ( a girl should always be prepared) and a condom (for the same reason) I just stood open mouthed that she could even think I might use them.

I was ready and in truth actually felt I looked very good, the dress felt weird with its straight skirt and one bare shoulder, but it looked good and that is what mattered. Sam turned up on time looking very smart in a suit. He did not hold back on the compliments as he admired his partner for the evening.

Then mum interrupted 'Right one thing you two have not practiced I think is being a couple, right let's see you hold hands.' 'Sam put your arm round her like you want her.' 'Becky, look up at him, you are supposed to be his girlfriend, act like one.' 'Ok try kissing.'
I baulked at this.
'Becky remembers the deal, now kiss.' 'No not a peck, like you want more.' 'Sam that is better, think of it as foreplay.'
'Mother' I exclaimed.
'Well it is, so just kiss with the thought of what might happen later if you were a real couple.'
After a few rather intense kisses and a repair to my lips we were told we our body language could do with improvement but it was ok. So mum wished us a good evening and hoped we both had a good time at the party.

The party was organised by Sam's father's company and had been an annual event for years but this year, for Sam at least it would be more interesting as he had someone other than his parents to talk to. It was not too far to the venue and after our role playing with mum we had time to discuss how we should be behaving. Clearly a couple should sit together but how far we should go in the touching and affection ratings was what we differed on, Sam wanted to give the image of 'a pretty girl on his arm', I was happy with being mates not every couple are at it all the time, I argued. As we parked Sam suggested we try kissing again, only this time I think of myself not as a lad but as a partner who is more than just a mate, maybe a lover or at least thinking of it, maybe even think of myself a girl. Maybe I could think of being submissive and trying to please him, or imagine I actually wanted him and would take any opportunity to show that desire. I laughed at the last one, so he asked what do I see, I replied that I saw a good looking guy, he told me I was a good looking girl so what is stopping us being a good looking couple.
'Ok you kiss me in a way that you want to.' He touched my lips so gently it sent shivers down my spine, I responded gently as well.
'That was better' he whispered.
'You kiss like that and I will have no problems.' our lips touched again, I felt all my frustrations that had brought me to this situation flow out of my body, I had cornered myself into this ridiculous situation where I dress as girl rather than back down in front of my parents, and now a kiss off a mate is melting my soul. His tongue flickered along my lips and without planning it I put my hand round his neck and let my tongue meet his. It all happened within a minute but felt like ages.
I broke 'Oh, come on Sam, I think it is time we were getting inside.' He kissed me gently once more then got out of the car coming round to my side to help me out as I struggled to get to my feet. I had no problem after that kiss holding his hand as we walked across the car park and to our seats next to his parents.

I had got myself into a frame of mind that I was playing the part of a girlfriend and just played the role, Sam had made it easier with that kiss, but I still had to remember the walk, the elegant sit, the eating, the smile, the voice. All those things I had had drilled into me by my mother over the past few days, looking back I would not say I was accomplished just reasonably good. Sam's parents were nice, his mum was very pretty and chatty, his father was charming and in a way I could see Sam following his father's charm. Besides being the first time out as a dressed up girl with no one knowing, it was also the first time I had more than a sip of champagne to celebrate a toast. I drank white wine because I knew it was a girls drink, I finished the champagne because I liked it. The alcohol and the general mood of the party relaxed me so I enjoyed myself far more than I could have possibly imagined, I even danced with Sam and managed a slow waltz sort of shuffle with his dad. A rather unexpected moment was when I felt like some fresh air and Sam went with me to stand on the balcony, as we stood there next to one another, looking over the city, I felt his arm cuddle my waist, I responded by moving closer so he could hold me tighter. I was telling myself it was part of the act but I would have been lying if I did not admit to rather liking the feeling of having a strong man holding me making me feel wanted and secure. I happened to look up just as he looked down, maybe I meant to or maybe it was an accident but our lips meet and this time I did not need to act, he made me feel like a girl, at that moment I was his girlfriend. The evening might have just been a wonderful new experience that was like nothing I had ever done before, maybe I could have just walked away from this cross dressing world except for an unexpected invite. During the meal Sam's mother who as I say was chatty casually invited me to go round the day after. I can only guess I had been to convincing as a girlfriend and she had believed the act and wanted to maybe get to know me better or give Sam more time with me, I was not sure but even though I had said I was not stopping around she seemed quite keen for me be Sam's girlfriend.

Mum was waiting up when I got home but gratefully was not peeping through the curtains when we parked outside and Sam gave me a goodnight kiss, I am sure she would have seen that as unnecessary, for that evening it seemed natural, as Sam put it 'If he had taken any other pretty girl out and things had not gone wrong he would hope to have at least a quick kiss.' It was not a quickie, I had to repair my lipstick so mum was not alerted to the situation. Once inside and Sam gone I had a rather long chat with mum about the evening, the people I meet, the venue, the food, the hassle of being a girl. I was trying to be as negative as possible, she had put me through this to try and make me be more manly in my appearance so I lied to myself and her when I told her the shoes were terrible, the nails inconvenient, the skirt a hassle etc etc. But in truth I had really enjoyed the challenge and had enjoyed looking attractive, something I had never considered I could be as a lad. But there was one thing I dreaded telling her, the invite to go round to Sam's the day after, I knew she would not like this turn up and I was right. She complained to start but I explained how I had declined and said I was going home i.e. Becky the cousin was going away but his mum insisted and Sam said Becky could easily stay another day at least. She accepted that I tried to get out of the invite, though in reality I did not fight too hard. Mum however pointed out that I only had the dress I was sat in and some shorts so what would I wear next. I flattered mum by telling her she had some great clothes and I could just borrow something of hers for the afternoon. There was no answer, she was thinking about how the night had turned out and just reminded me to clean off my makeup before going to bed.

I had a strange night, while I was awake I went over and over the events of the evening in my mind and when I was asleep I was dreaming of long flowing dresses and standing on hilltops in the breeze, or big strong men often looking like Sam in romantic situations with me dressed in really pretty dresses. I was shattered when I got up feeling like I needed to go back to bed.

I was greeted in the morning with a very feminine hair style that without much brushing fell back into the shape Dee had created, and when I looked at my face it was clear I had not been thorough the night before, my eyes still had a darkness to them and my lips a redness that I was unfamiliar with. I was also greeted in the kitchen by a mother who had not slept well either, but for completely different reasons I guessed.
Her first words were 'is there any way you can get out of this invite?'
'I told you last night, she is very persuasive and Sam would like me go as well.'
'So you can't just call and say something like, you had to go for this or that reason.'
'No I can't, I said I would go and I would like to go, please help me'
''Ok if I can't persuade you not to go, then same rules apply, you do as I say'
'Fine with me.'
'Right any idea of a look you want?'
Mum was a woman who liked clothes and looking good and was a good role model for anyone wanting to be feminine, so I rather allowed her to chose, I would have loved a long gown but I knew that would inappropriate for such an invite, but when she gave me the rather plain outfit to wear I did feel I wished I had taken a more positive approach.

But I was wrong, the white blouse was lovely soft cotton and the mini something any teenager with nice legs would be to wear. She made me wear the heels, so I don't forget to behave like a girl. By one o'clock I was ready, my hair perfect, face redone, more training on how to gesture and move like a girl. Sam turned up in his car again because I did not fancy walking out onto the road looking like this and maybe meeting a neighbour. So I was ferried the short distance to his house. I had not invited him in just in case mum had a go at him, and just in case he tried to kiss me without it being part of mum's coaching like the night before.
'You look nice Becky.'
'Thanks' he leant towards me 'not here, mum might be watching.'
'Ok, but am I still your boyfriend?'
'Would you like to be?'
'Oh, yes please'
'In that case boyfriend, please take me to your home.'

The afternoon was just as I expected polite conversation with Sam's parents, along with periods of time when Sam sat in the garden alone with me just talking about our studies, friends, TV programmes, just about anything you would expect two teenagers to talk about. There was one extra topic though, how it felt to be dressed as a girl. Without trying to appear too keen or letting him know how much I actually enjoyed being Becky and being with him as Becky, I told him about the preparations I had gone through to achieve this level of femininity, about how it feels to walk in heels, about how fabrics and women's clothes feel on hairless skin. He flattered me whenever there was the opportunity which always boosted my confidence, but possibly best of all was just being accepted as someone different, Becky, by his parents, I was no longer just a mate of Sam, another lad, I was Becky, his girlfriend. That was until late in the afternoon as I was helping clear away the pots with his mother on our own that we had a 'Becky can I tell you something in confidence' talk. She explained how she was so relieved that Sam had found a partner that suited his needs, I was confused and a little concerned how this was going as she told me about some gay magazines she had found in his room, and then asked when I had first been Becky. I was in tears as I realised she had seen through the disguise but she comforted me telling me I was really very good, my height and size clearly helped but I did one or two things which alerted her, mostly my knowledge of Sam's courses when I was supposed to live away. I was told not to mention that she had rumbled me and that if I was happy being Becky then she was happy for me to go out with her son. She left me for a while to let this revelation sink in, not only did she approve of a cross dressing boy, but was fine about her son being gay, two things I would have never considered even that morning.
At the end of the evening I walked home with Sam and because of the way the day, even the weekend had gone, I took an 'I don't care' attitude to being seen by anyone I might know. I was on a high and loved being dressed as a girl, being treated as a girl and looking forward to more opportunities to be Becky. Something in me had changed, before I was being a belligerent teenager, now I was loving what that fight had created.

As soon as I walked in mum realised I had walked home and I was holding Sam's hand which was another clue. After a few minutes I kissed Sam and said 'good night' because I knew there was going to be a conversation with mum and it could go either way, good or bad.

Where to go from here.
1. Move in with Sam, get a summer job working for his parents.
2. His parents have a big bust up, separate, he goes to live with his mum who insists that he live as a daughter.
3. Dad backs down and accepts, has some skeleton in the cupboard that caused him to over react, ie, gay friend who died and he feels guilty.