Playmate

by shalimar

I took a break from my household chores on that early May afternoon and watched Miriam, my five-year-old and her friend, Sarah, learn a clapping song from two of the older girls in the neighborhood. The older girls are very patient with my baby and her friend as they learn the actions, rhythm and words of the song, “Playmate.”

As I watched them it brought back memories of my own childhood, sitting and watching the girls in the neighborhood do that and other clapping songs. One time there were only three girls, so they asked me to join them.

“I’ve seen you do it, but I don’t know if I can. I’ll probably mess it up,” I replied the first time.

“We’ll teach you,” said Sally, one of the girls.

“OK,”

So I joined in and gradually learned it well enough not to make too many mistakes. We laughed and started over again when I, or one of the girls, made a mistake.

It was fun until Judy, another of the girls, said, ”You’re one of us girls, now.”

I smiled, but Beth said, “She’s not dressed like us.”

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“We’re all wearing a dress or a skirt,” Beth explained. “Except you.”

“But I’m a boy.”

“Not anymore, you’re not,” Sally said.

Judy looked at me then at the other girls, “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

“Yeah, she needs to wear a skirt,” the other two said in unison.

“You’re about our size,” Beth noted. “Come on! We’re gonna get you properly dressed!”

Since we were playing outside of it they ran into Judy’s house.

Their joy at doing a makeover was infectious and I ran after them yelling, “Wait for me!”

When we got up in her room she opened her closet door.

“Strip,” Judy commended

I stripped to my BVD’s but the three of them demanded, “All of it, girl.”

Sally handed me a pair of pink panties and showed me how to put them on. Judy followed by giving me a pink t-shirt. After I put it on I noticed a bow on the top, put my forefinger on it and smiled.

While this was happening they were discussing what skirt and blouse I should wear. A black skirt went on first. It was pleated and flared and came to my knees. The pink blouse was short sleeved and had lace around the neck and scallops on the bottom.

Beth handed me a pair of pink sneakers.

“No socks?” I asked.

“It’s too hot,” she replied.

I was happy about the color and the fact the sneakers were my size.

“Ready,” I said.

“Not yet,” Beth stopped me as she grabbed my arm and sat me down at Judy’s vanity.

My hair, being long, was easily shaped into a girl’s style. They finished with a pink ribbon in my hair.

“Want some lipstick?” Judy asked.

“Sure!” I agreed as she applied the candy pink wax that felt funny on my lips.

“I want that too,” Beth and Sally chorused.

“There’s one last thing before you’re one of us girls,” Beth explained. “We can’t call you Steve. That’s a boy’s name.”

“Well, I can’t use Sally for a name,” I told them with a smile towards Sally.

“Stephanie?” Sally asked.

“No, too close to Steven,” I replied. “I want something special.”

We all thought until Judy shouted, “Sophia!”

“Yeah!” I agreed before hugging them.

We ran outside before continuing to sing, “Playmate.”

That continued until my mom called out, “Steven! Come inside and do your homework!”

“OK, mom!” I shouted back. “I’ll be right there!” Then to the girls I said, “I havta go, but I had fun today.”

“Tomorrow,” they said as we hugged.

“Tomorrow,” I agreed.

I ran the three houses home, opened the door before telling my mother, “I had fun today. It was me and Sally and Beth and Judy. We sang, ‘Playmate.’ I learned it real good!”

“And you played dress up. Didn’t you?” she asked.

I looked down, noticed I was still in the skirt and blouse, smiled and said, “Yeah! We had fun.”

“Well, young lady, after we finish your homework you’re helping me with dinner.”

“Do I havta?”

“A girl is supposed to help her mother make dinner.”

Being called a girl by my mother was all the incentive I needed.

“OK.”

“By the way, what are they calling you, Stephanie?”

“Sophia.”

“OK, Sophie, get your books, and I’ll help you with your homework. After that we’ll make dinner.”

“Thank you mom,” I said as I hugged her.

She gave back the hug, smiled and asked, “For what?”

“For not making me change back.”

“Your father won’t understand, so you’ll have to change back before he gets home. At other times I’ll let you be Sophie. It’ll be our secret, at least until I can make your father accept you this way. Now go get your books.”

As I did my homework with mom looking over my shoulder I said, “Why do I have to change? I’m a girl, now.”

“Not as far as your father’s concerned. Please, there will only be an argument and you might get hurt.”

“Can I be Sophia at other times?”

“When I’m sure your father won’t be around or until I can convince him.”

“Can I help convince daddy?”

“Maybe, I don’t know. I do have an idea, though. I’ll get you girl’s clothes that look like boy clothes. When you’re at home you can wear them.”

“Oh! Thank you, mom.”

I hugged her tight.

The next morning mom got me up for school. I had breakfast before running out the door to walk to school. I stopped running when I caught up to Beth, Judy, and Sally. We talked as walked together until we met Amy and Heather at the next block.

“What’s he doing with us?” Amy asked.

Sally looked around and asked, “He?”

Amy pointed to me.

“She’s Sophia and she lives three houses from me,” Judy explained.

“You’re a girl? I thought you were Steven.”

“I was Steven. I’m now a girl.”

“We made her one yesterday,” Beth said.

“That’s good enough for me,” replied Heather.

“It’ll take some time getting used to calling you Sophia, girl,” Amy admitted.

When we got there I played with the other girls and the word about me got around. Many of them came up to me and congratulated me. Some said I needed to dress more like a girl. I told them what my mother said.

Finally the bell rang and we went to our classes. During one of the lessons Mrs. Milano, our teacher asked a question. Knowing the answer I raised my hand.

“What is the answer, Steven?”

Most of the girls in the class giggled.

I started to speak, but I was embarrassed that she was using my boy’s name.

“What’s so funny?” Mrs. Milano asked.

“Her name is Sophia,” Amy told her.

“Do you want to be called Sophia?”

“Yes, Mrs. Milano.”

“Sophia, what is the answer?”

I gave it to her and she told me it was correct.

Later, when we were all reading, she asked me to come and talk to her, “I have no problem with what you are doing, but others might. I’m going to have to talk to the principal and your parents about this. I need to know what I must do and can do.”

“Please just talk to my mother,” I begged.

“I promise I will start that way. Eventually your father might need to know. Your mother will decide when.”

A week later I was told that I could wear girls clothes to school, including skirts, and that I would be using the girls’ bathroom. The nurse came and explained to the class about me in a way that we all could understand.

In the years that followed I continued to play with the other girls, often wearing skirts in school until one day I noticed my voice dropped. I hated it and ran to mom. I cried for an hour. She took me to an endocrinologist who got me on hormones. By the time my father found out I had developed into a teenage girl. He was told it was “too late” for me so I legally became Sophia. I’ve lived completely as a girl since.

During my transition I joined a local transsexual group as part of my therapy and started hanging out with Miriam, another male to female transsexual and two female to males named John and Larry. We enjoyed each other’s company and had even though of the idea of exchanging our sexual organs with each other. Surgeons that we talked to told us that that operation has only been done once and our tissues weren’t compatible for such an operation.

Although we couldn’t have the operation we needed we continued to have the need to complete our transitions. Both John and Larry had their breast reduction surgery and we each had made arrangements to have our sex reassignment surgery.

About a year after we had tried to exchange our sexual organs, John and I were beginning to see each other as lovers. I couldn’t believe how handsome he had become, and he considered me the prettiest woman on Earth. I was mesmerized by him as I constantly hung on every word he said. I also noticed Miriam and Larry were also getting close in a similar way.

“Are you in love with Larry the way I am with John?” I asked one afternoon as we got tickets to see a movie.

“I love him,” Miriam replied. “But I wouldn’t consider us being in love. It is more like my love for you and John. He’s like a brother to me.”

“I kind of wish we were a family,” I sighed.

After seeing a movie at the mall we passed what looked like the SRU store. Curious, we went in and talked to the old man and his assistant.

“I heard what Sophia and Miriam were talking about before,” he explained to us. “Would you like to be a family?”

“Could I have Sophie as my wife?” John asked.

“Is that what you want?” the wiz asked.

“Definitely,” I replied. “If Miriam and Larry agree.”

“I can be a little girl and grow up?” asked Miriam.

“And I can be a boy who becomes big and strong and plays all those sports?”

“I think we all agree,” John noted. “Do whatever you need to do.”

Dannie went to the back and came out with a toy smoke popper and gave it to her boss. He threw it down before our feet and it popped producing the smoke.

After my initial surprise, I felt one of Miriam’s tiny four-year-old hands in mine and her other one playing with my engagement ring that was in front of my wedding ring and then an arm went around my shoulder. It was John’s and I looked up into his eyes and smiled. Every time before that when I looked into his eyes they were at my height, except when I wore heels.

“Come on, kids,” he said as he took my other hand. “Let’s have dinner.”

Larry, who became our son a year older than our daughter, was teasing Miriam.

“Larry, don’t tease your sister,” my husband said after we left the store.

I realized we had become a typical family and the hurt that we had because of our gender would soon heal.

Now, a year later, I smiled as I rubbed my tummy where my baby kicked, a gift I happily received from John merely five months before. I then called Larry on his cell phone because he’s at his friend’s around the corner playing football.

John and I have planned a candlelight dinner, as today is the anniversary of the day we changed. However, the kids have to eat earlier, so I called Miriam in to help me make their dinner. I didn’t want to end her playing with the other girls. She seemed so happy.

Miriam ran in and excitedly told me, “I learned to sing ‘Playmate!’ Want to hear it?”

“Sure!”

“Playmate,” she sang.

“Come out and play with me,” we sang together.

“And bring your dollies three
Climb up our apple tree

Slide down my rainbow
Through my cellar door
And we’ll be jolly friends
Forever more”

“You know it, mommy!”

“I do,” I said before telling her about the first time I sang it. She listened as she hugged me. Because the wizard hadn’t erased any of our memories before the transition, she more than anyone else, understood the significance.

Based on the children’s song, “Playmate,” which has various versions and no copyright.

For my virtual twin five-year-old daughters, Maggie Baruchah and Baruchah Miriam and my friend Larry.

I thank Kimmie Townsend, Allie Townsend aka Allie Ellie, Rachael Anne Skellington, Holly Logan, and Maggie O Malley aka MaggietheKitten for their assistance, editing and suggestions.