Intro by Carla Ann

“Tiffany, I’ve asked you how everything is going with people and the activities you’re involved in, but you haven’t mentioned how you are coping with everything.” She emphasized the ‘you,’ when she asked that.

“Well, better than I was last year,” I started. “Way better than last year… I have a lot of friends now, and I’m not getting picked on every day.” I saw her eyes boring into me looking for something else. “Alright, I don’t know how I’m doing right now.” I told her honestly.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Well for one I’m really tired of everyone guessing I’m five if I wear the wrong clothes.” I told her hesitantly. I was sure my parents had filled her in with everything anyway, “Tuesday was pajama day. Mom and I had found some cute pajamas with feet on them that would fit Amy and me, so we wore them for pajama day. We really did look cute dressed like that, and I was having a lot of fun with it. That was until the sub in English class thought that I was someone’s little sister that had come them to school that day.”

I was really surprised Dr. Reynolds didn’t laugh about it, but I continued, “Then the next day the whole squad was wearing shortalls and our hair done in pigtails and I looked to be about five again. One of my best friends even brought a doll to school to play a joke on the sub that we’d had. I don’t think she knew that it really upset me though. I’m not five, I’m twelve! Amy has grown about five inches here in the last couple months, but I’m still the same height I was last year. It’s good for cheerleading stuff because people can toss me so easily… but…” I was doing my best to not go into tears over all of this. “as long as we’ve got my puberty stopped then I won’t be doing much growing. That’s all on top of the fact that I’m never going to be able to have periods like my friends… and I’m stuck with this stupid thing between my legs,” I told her with a great deal of exasperation. “I’m so tired of having to look at it, or hide it, every time I turn around. I know you can’t do anything about it till I’m eighteen – but I wish it could be gone now!” I had gone to tears now.

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The Legal Stuff: Dreaming of Cheers  © 2010 By Tiffany Shar
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright  © 2010 By Tiffany Shar. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
 
 
Preface
 
 
It’s been a long road to publishing this third book in my Standing Up to Life Series. I began writing the first book over two years ago, putting the first two books out in a quick succession of six months work. The third book became more challenging to finish as I had set my sights on only writing a trilogy. I declared myself finished last August, but found myself unhappy with the ending. Well seven months later I feel this is ready to give to you, my readers, and I hope you will enjoy it. It has not gone on the track I had expected, and indeed there will probably be at least one more book following this in order to complete Tiffany’s story. I hope you will find that your wait has been worth it.

Like the first two books I posted here, I will be posting a full copy here on BigCloset. This time I am going to upload two chapters per week to the site. The full version should be completely posted by August. For those that cannot wait however, I have an e-book version of the full book available from Lulu.com as of today. You may find it at My Store. My assumption is that the majority of my readers would be more interested in this edition of the book rather than a hardback or paperback. If you enjoy this work perhaps you will consider supporting me by purchasing it ($5.95 for the eBook).

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy reading Dreaming of Cheers!

 

Chapter 32:

 
SUNDAY MORNING WAS a little bit crazy. Mom had me wear another one of the holiday dresses I had. I was grateful for the fact though that I didn’t look like I was seven in this one. ‘More like ten,’ I thought a little mournfully. ‘At least I look pretty,’ I said to myself as I spun around in the bathroom while watching the reflection of my dress. Mom had spent nearly an hour doing my hair for me and helped out with my makeup. Each day it was becoming a little easier to hide the bruises. Mom’s parents were coming in to spend Christmas with us this year, so we had made sure that the spare room was made up for them.

Her brother Raymond was also coming with his wife, Jill, and two daughters Lauren and Lilly. They were going to spend the night tonight in a hotel along with her sister Penny, her husband Andrew and their daughter Halley. All of them were going to spend Christmas Eve and Day at our house. My dad’s parents were supposed to come over for dinner and a bit the next day too. Though our house was way too small to really get everyone in it comfortably, we felt it was better than being in a hotel room or something… I was sure it was going to be crowded though, so I was ordered about the house to clean up one thing after another.

About one o’clock my grandparents pulled up. I panicked suddenly, it was going to be the first time they had met Tiffany. As they came in the door I clung to Mom just in case they freaked out about everything. Grandpa Bill came in first and said, “Hi!” to us all. He gave me a big hug and said, “I’m so glad that you’re okay sweetie,” and I only cried because I was in shock. I had been so caught up in everything that had happened to me, that I hadn’t had a chance to be apprehensive about this visit, like I had when we had gone to Denver. Now that it was here I couldn’t believe I was getting that from him so easily.

Grandma Dorothy pulled me over from him and gave me a hug before looking at me and saying, “Tiffany you really are a pretty girl,” and gave me a hug. It made me wonder if I didn’t look pretty if she would have accepted me, but I just let that pass by.

“Thank you Grandma,” I told her. The two of them settled in pretty quickly and before long my grandfather was watching TV with my dad, while my grandmother helped Mom and I get some pies done for the evening. We had been cooking for an hour or so when we heard the doorbell ring again. I went out with my mom to repeat the meeting of Tiffany with Uncle Raymond, Aunt Jill, Lauren, and Lilly. My Aunt and Uncle had prepared my cousins for the fact I was Tiffany now, but Lilly, being just seven said, “Daddy I thought you said Tiffany used to be Brandon…” It was just cute enough to be laughable.

Lauren was ten, and Mom quickly sent me to go play with the two of them and got us out of the kitchen. I took the two of them back to my room and watched their eyes pop out of their heads at my doll house and dolls that were setup inside. “WOW!!!” Lauren exclaimed.

I just smiled at them and began playing Barbie’s with the two of them. We’d been playing for about an hour when the doorbell rang again and the final members of my mom’s family that were coming came in the door. Aunt Penny and Uncle Andrew came in with loads of stuff to put underneath the Christmas tree. Both of them doted on me a little before Halley joined Lauren and Lilly in my room.

Halley was the same age, twelve, as I was — but a grade behind me because of where her birthday fell. She kind of didn’t want to play with Barbie’s, but the three of us dragged her into it anyway. “I can’t believe you’re still playing with Barbie’s and in seventh grade,” she told me at one point.

“Why not?” I asked.

“Well…” she started but couldn’t find anything to say.

“It’s fun, isn’t it?” I asked her. She’d been smiling all afternoon.

“Yeah… but…”

“I know. I only have a few friends that still play with them…. And I don’t play with them a whole lot anymore because I don’t have time, but that doesn’t mean you can’t.”

She paused to consider that, but seemed to accept it. “So you’re a cheerleader?” she asked as she saw my poms and megaphone sitting in the corner.

“Uh-huh… well actually more on the dance squad than the cheer squad.” I told her.

“Huh?”

I explained how they had started it. How we were going to Nationals hopefully next month and everything.

“That’s cool!” she said. All-in-all the four of us had a lot of fun until dinner time and we were called to go eat. Since the four of us were all wearing dresses nothing stuck out about any of us that night. My dad’s parents had shown up just in time to eat with us. After dinner we all played some family board and trivia games for a while before my cousins and their families headed off to the hotel.

Just before Mom sent me to bed that night she said, “Here, why don’t you open these two presents tonight?” she suggested while handing me one thinner clothing type box and another that was bigger.

I opened the bigger box first, I couldn’t help myself. I found a really cute stuffed reindeer in there. “Thanks Mommy, it’s cute!” I told her. She had sat down on the couch with me as I opened it and gave me a little hug. I sat the reindeer aside and opened the next box. Inside I found a pair of purple pajama bottoms and a matching top. The bottoms felt silky, and sure enough I looked at the label and they were actually made of silk! The top was just a t-shirt, but it was a really soft cotton material.

“My mom and dad used to always give me a stuffed animal and pajamas the night before Christmas,” she told me after I finished giving her a hug. “I didn’t do it before because I never thought you would like it… but I figured as Tiffany you would,” she told me with a smile. I gave her another hug and she sent me off to bed to wonder what the other Christmas presents I was going to get would be.

Over the last week I’d spent a lot of time at Amy’s house, but when I’d been at mine I’d tried to figure out what I’d been given. There weren’t a lot of bigger boxes, a lot of clothes I figured, along with some smaller boxes here and there. I still hoped for, but didn’t really expect that I’d get the saxophone I wanted… I wasn’t sure I’d be able to play it the next day anyway since my cheek still hurt where it had been cut open, but I wouldn’t let that stop me I thought. I hugged the new stuffed animal tight to my chest as I went to sleep in my new pajamas that night and dreamed of Christmas the next day.

 

CHRISTMAS MORNING WAS the same as it always was, a time of fun and presents!!! It all passed in a blur for me as I woke up and walked down the hallway to where Mom was already fixing breakfast with her mother’s help. “Morning princess,” she told me with a smile.

“You want to open a few presents before your cousins get here?” Mom asked.

“Really?” I asked. It was the first time we had ever hosted Christmas before, but I usually didn’t get to open presents until we were with the whole family.

“You can open your stocking and a couple others,” she told me.

I ran out to the living room where mom had sat my stocking on top of the TV next to theirs and my grandparents. She walked behind me and said, “hold on a couple minutes, I want to get everyone out here first.” She smiled at me before going into the other room to get everyone else. Dad came out of the bathroom a few minutes later and the five of us sat down and opened up our stockings. There were lots of packages of chocolate like normal, but I also had several pairs of earrings, a couple bracelets, some hair accessories, and several bottles of nail polish in there. I smiled at everything and gave her a hug when I found a particularly cute pair of earrings with saxophones on them.

Mom sorted out a few more presents that she let me open. Among them were several Barbie Dolls and a baby doll. I gave her a look kind of like, ‘Why?’ to her for that one.

“I wanted to get you one,” she said to get me to stop looking at her like that. It was a cute doll in a pretty dress. It had several diapers with it and supposedly wet the diapers just like a real baby when you fed it… I didn’t quite see why that was necessary, but just said thank you anyway.

Mom went back down the hallway for something else and soon came down with a larger wrapped present in her hands. “This is from us,” she said as I looked for a tag.

I looked at the pretty wrapping paper for a few moments wondering what was in it and hoping against hope it was what I wanted it to be. I carefully tore at the ends of the box and opened up the box. Inside the wrapping paper was a plain box that I had to borrow my dad’s knife to open it. As soon as I opened it my eyes were greeted by the sight I’d been hoping for so much!

I could see the saxophone case handle!

I pulled open the top of the box gently, and with dad’s help pulled the case out of the box. The case was made of really nice leather that felt soft as I carefully opened the two latches on either side of the case. Inside was the most gorgeous saxophone I had ever seen! It was a deep golden color and I fell in love immediately with it. It was wrapped with a plastic bag that I gently pulled it out of. Uncovered I felt the keys and pushed them up and down, listening to a pop each time I pressed them down. It was everything I had dreamed of!

“Thank you,” I said quietly, the tears already welling up in my eyes. I just sat there looking at it, the tears now running down my face. I sat it down and hugged my dad, then my mom while saying ‘thank you,’ over and over again.

“Well when do we get to hear you play it?” Grandpa asked me.

I looked at my parents for permission and went down to my room where I had put my old saxophone. My parents had picked it up for me from the school when they’d gone in for their meeting. I opened it up and found a reed and my neck strap before coming back down the hallway and carefully assembling my new sax. As soon as I played my first note on it I could tell the difference between it and my old horn. I messed around for a few minutes before becoming self-conscious and put it away.

I smiled brightly as I carefully put it up in my room to keep it safe as the rest of the family would be coming over. “Tiffany why don’t you go, get dressed now?” Mom told me. “Everyone will be coming over in about a half-hour.”

“Okay,” I told her and went to get the dress on she told me she wanted me to wear today. It was the one with the red skirt and black velvet bodice. I wasn’t going to complain to her about it at all, they had bought me the saxophone I had wanted so much! ‘It was well over three thousand,’ I thought to myself and wondered how they could have afforded to do that with all of the doctors’ bills I had last week. I kind of worried about that as I quickly pulled on some tights and pulled the dress on. I initially forgot to put a bra on and realized my mistake as soon as I had it over my head. The velvet on this dress clung tight enough that you could see almost everything on my growing breasts, including my nipples, so I quickly pulled it off and grabbed a training bra from my drawer before pulling it back on.

I heard a knock on my door and Mom came in to tie the red bow in the back of my dress for me. She also went into my bin of hair stuff and pulled out a red bow that she tied into my hair on one side.

“Cute,” she declared me and pushed me towards breakfast. I almost didn’t want to leave the saxophone but I forced myself to. I ate some scrambled eggs and a Belgian waffle that Mom had made me, and finished just as the rest of the family showed up.

“Okay girls, why don’t you all separate presents out for everyone,” Mom commanded us — mainly me. Lilly could read thankfully so it wasn’t too bad with four of us. Before long there was a large pile in front of everyone ready to go.

On cue everyone began opening presents, and I began stacking piles of new sweaters, jeans, and other clothing next to me. My parents had wrapped one box up that felt like it had nothing in it. As I began to open it, Mom saw I was opening it and whispered, “I meant to give this one to you earlier.”

My curiosity really peaked I opened it up and blushed as I saw it contained a gift certificate to Victoria’s Secret. Thankfully no one else was paying attention so I quickly put it in a new purse my dad’s parents had given me. “I figure it’s about time we go get you fitted for some real bras,” Mom said to me quietly with a smile.

I blushed vividly and gave her a hug before continuing to open presents. After a bit I came to another larger box that I had been wondering about, I opened it carefully. Inside was another large doll, but different than a baby doll, it was dressed like it was almost my age. “It’s from American Girl,” my mom explained to me. “They make some really cute dolls, and I thought maybe you might want to collect them…” I looked at it in amazement at how cute and life like she was. I left it in the box for the moment though and opened another box that contained several things of eye shadow and mascara.

My cousins and I each looked at each other’s gifts a bit, and everyone played a bit with the American Girl doll as I got her out. It was called a ‘Girl of Today’ doll that had blonde hair like mine and blue eyes to match. Mom had purchased a couple of other outfits to go with her, including a cheerleading outfit that I had to put her in. She looked really cute in it! I was holding her like a baby after lunch, amused by it. Mom eventually said, “I told Amy’s family we’d stop by, do you want to go now?”

“Sure, I said,” intending to put Allie, as I’d named her, up in my room.

“Why don’t you bring her with you?” Mom asked.

I gave her a look like ‘why?’ but said, “Really? Do I need to?”

“You should,” Mom said simply to me.

The two of us got into the car and drove over to Amy’s house. I felt kind of silly holding Allie as we walked up the steps, but felt much better when Amy opened the door with one in her hands as well! “Aren’t they cute?” She asked me excitedly.

I suddenly felt comfortable saying, “Uh-huh,” to her as we walked inside. Mom carried a bag of presents with her inside and said, “Okay, you two want to open your other presents now?”

“Other presents?” I asked since I was confused.

“Other presents!” Amy said excitedly and we walked into the living room where there were still quite a few presents piled underneath the tree. She and I organized them and I found that there were a number of presents for me from her parents. We gave them the presents I’d gotten for them as well, and sat down to open everything. In the presents there was one that contained several hair clips and combs in there that were really pretty. At least one of them looked like it was decorated with expensive crystal. I also got several outfits from them for me, a couple outfits for Allie (my mom had given Amy several for hers who she had named Megan,) a Barbie Doll, some makeup, and finally a set of really pretty earrings.

“Thank you!” I told her, Amy, and her dad while giving them big hugs.

“You’re welcome Tiffany,” they said. We had gotten Amy several presents so I didn’t feel like things were too unequal there. My presents to Amy’s parents were well appreciated as well, and before long I wanted to stay there the night.

“Sweetie, you really do need to stay and visit with your own family tonight.” I looked downcast at that, “But you’ll get to stay with Amy tomorrow night when you go skiing with them,” she said pointing to Amy’s parents.

“Okay,” I said excitedly. “How long are we going for?” I asked Mr. Hancock, who was closest.

“Well we’re leaving tomorrow with you, and we’ll stay till Sunday,” he told me.

I was instantly excited, but felt a little bad for leaving my parents that long. I looked at Mom to see her expression but it seemed they had something that was left out. “We’re going to join you guys Friday,” mom told me with a smile.

“Really?!?” I asked excitedly.

“Really.” Mom told me and returned the hug I gave her.

As we left their house Amy came and told me, “Make sure you bring Allie tomorrow!”

“Okay,” I told her while wondering what it was about this doll that made us both willing to play with it. Neither of us really had a lot of interest in larger dolls, let alone a larger baby doll… It was about then that I realized it was because it wasn’t a ‘baby’ doll. I liked it because it was a doll dressed more maturely, that wasn’t wearing a cute diaper that it was supposed to wet. That doll was still sitting in the packaging at home… I figured I probably should open it at some point though just to make Mom feel better.

That evening my family hung out one last time before everyone was heading back home. Goodbyes were actually said at the restaurant where we ate breakfast the next morning, and they all left from there to drive back to their various homes. I promised Halley and Lauren that I would write them. Halley was hoping to maybe she could go with Amy and I to the cheer camp we went to in California this next summer. I thought that would be a lot of fun!