Intro by Carla Ann

“Tiffany, I’ve asked you how everything is going with people and the activities you’re involved in, but you haven’t mentioned how you are coping with everything.” She emphasized the ‘you,’ when she asked that.

“Well, better than I was last year,” I started. “Way better than last year… I have a lot of friends now, and I’m not getting picked on every day.” I saw her eyes boring into me looking for something else. “Alright, I don’t know how I’m doing right now.” I told her honestly.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“Well for one I’m really tired of everyone guessing I’m five if I wear the wrong clothes.” I told her hesitantly. I was sure my parents had filled her in with everything anyway, “Tuesday was pajama day. Mom and I had found some cute pajamas with feet on them that would fit Amy and me, so we wore them for pajama day. We really did look cute dressed like that, and I was having a lot of fun with it. That was until the sub in English class thought that I was someone’s little sister that had come them to school that day.”

I was really surprised Dr. Reynolds didn’t laugh about it, but I continued, “Then the next day the whole squad was wearing shortalls and our hair done in pigtails and I looked to be about five again. One of my best friends even brought a doll to school to play a joke on the sub that we’d had. I don’t think she knew that it really upset me though. I’m not five, I’m twelve! Amy has grown about five inches here in the last couple months, but I’m still the same height I was last year. It’s good for cheerleading stuff because people can toss me so easily… but…” I was doing my best to not go into tears over all of this. “as long as we’ve got my puberty stopped then I won’t be doing much growing. That’s all on top of the fact that I’m never going to be able to have periods like my friends… and I’m stuck with this stupid thing between my legs,” I told her with a great deal of exasperation. “I’m so tired of having to look at it, or hide it, every time I turn around. I know you can’t do anything about it till I’m eighteen – but I wish it could be gone now!” I had gone to tears now.

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The Legal Stuff: Dreaming of Cheers  © 2010 By Tiffany Shar
 
This is a work of fiction. Names, Characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

Copyright  © 2010 By Tiffany Shar. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission.
 
 
Preface
 
 
It’s been a long road to publishing this third book in my Standing Up to Life Series. I began writing the first book over two years ago, putting the first two books out in a quick succession of six months work. The third book became more challenging to finish as I had set my sights on only writing a trilogy. I declared myself finished last August, but found myself unhappy with the ending. Well seven months later I feel this is ready to give to you, my readers, and I hope you will enjoy it. It has not gone on the track I had expected, and indeed there will probably be at least one more book following this in order to complete Tiffany’s story. I hope you will find that your wait has been worth it.

Like the first two books I posted here, I will be posting a full copy here on BigCloset. This time I am going to upload two chapters per week to the site. The full version should be completely posted by August. For those that cannot wait however, I have an e-book version of the full book available from Lulu.com as of today. You may find it at My Store. My assumption is that the majority of my readers would be more interested in this edition of the book rather than a hardback or paperback. If you enjoy this work perhaps you will consider supporting me by purchasing it ($5.95 for the eBook).

Thanks again, and I hope you enjoy reading Dreaming of Cheers!

 

Chapter 16:

 
MY PARENTS AND I left the house without saying anything else. My grandparents had disappeared somewhere when we were leaving, so I couldn’t even say goodnight to them. Aunt Linda and Bill had also made a silent escape apparently; at least I didn’t see them as we were leaving either. It was about twenty minutes to the hotel, and for the first fifteen I didn’t feel comfortable saying anything at all. I finally decided I wasn’t going to play the stupid kid on this trip. “What happened?” I asked quietly.

My parents both shared another one of their silent looks between each other, at some point Mom decided to speak, “Tiffany… You’re Uncle just got a little… umm…”

“Upset about us ‘indulging’ you…” My Dad offered.

This really wasn’t a surprise to me, I’d guessed as much. “What else got said?” I asked them.
“Well, it wasn’t really as bad as it could have been… but it happened after your grandparents went to bed, so he felt like he could unload a bit more.”

“What did he say?” I asked again quietly.

Dad looked at my Mom who I could see shake her head just a little bit. He hesitated, then said, “Look Tiffany, we’ll talk about it in the hotel room, okay?”

“You’ll tell me though, right?” I asked.

“Yes Tiffany, we’ll tell you,” Mom said with a sigh. Whatever it was must have been pretty bad, because they didn’t want to say anything about it. I didn’t really feel like they could afford to coddle me… honestly after everything I’d heard at school it couldn’t be any worse.

As we drove up to the hotel I was surprised to see how few people seemed to be staying there. ‘I would have thought the hotels would be filling up for the holiday,’ I thought aimlessly as we walked in through the doors. Once upstairs Dad decided to go for ice, and Mom suggested, “Tiffany why don’t you go ahead and put your pajamas on?”

“You’re not going to get away from telling me…” I started.

“We’re going to tell you, just please go put your pajamas on first?” She paused and then added, “I’m going to be waking you up a bit early so you can get ready to go over there for lunch, so I want you to be able to go to bed soon.”

I wondered if she was hoping that I would fall asleep before I could find out, but I knew I wouldn’t. I went ahead and grudgingly put my pajamas on, brushed my teeth, washed my face, and returned out to the room. Mom was sitting on the bed I was going to be sleeping on watching the TV. I went over to my bag, grabbed Emily, and then cuddled her while leaning against Mom. She silently stroked through my hair for a few minutes until Dad finally returned from getting ice.

“Sorry, I had to go down to the first floor before I could find an ice machine that was working!” he said.

I decided to just be patient and wait for them. Finally when I was out of patience Dad finally spoke. “Tiffany, I know you want to know what was said, but are you really sure you want to know?” He asked me with concern on his face.

“Daddy, I doubt it can be any worse than the million things that I’ve been told already at school and elsewhere.”

I watched him grimace, but nod. “We were talking earlier about a lot of things earlier before your grandparents went to bed. You weren’t really brought up a whole lot — and we didn’t see that rocking the boat was going to do a lot of good, so we didn’t say much. We did talk a little bit about the trip to New York, the fact that you were a co-captain on the dance squad, and a couple other things in passing, but not like we were talking about the other grandkids.”

“Eventually your grandparents went to bed around nine, and your Uncle began drinking some whiskey. From there he became mean to just about everyone, but when he came to talking about you and me he just became livid. He said some things about you that I won’t repeat, no matter how much you ask, but basically he called us bad parents for letting you be yourself Tiffany. He seems to think that maybe we shouldn’t even be claimed in the family tree anymore — stuff like that.”

None of this surprised me — I’d guessed that something like this might happen. “I’m guessing you didn’t take that too well?” I asked worriedly.

“No Tiffany, I’m tired of people berating you for no reason.” Dad started. He was controlling tears, I could see it. He and his brother had been really close at one point, but recently, mainly because of me — but also because Uncle Allen seemed to be drinking more, they were growing farther and farther apart. I didn’t think they could really get much farther apart actually. He just sat for a second before continuing, “I told him just where I thought he could stick his ideas. The two of us were actually probably as close to blows as we’ve been since we were kids. Thankfully your Aunt Linda calmed us both down. Of course once we were calmed down a bit she told your Uncle what she thinks… he didn’t like that too much either.”

Mom was kind of fidgeting at that moment… “What did she say?” I asked.

“Well she told him that ‘if a doctor, you, and we had decided that it was the right decision for you to become a girl then who was he to argue?’ He mumbled a bunch of other things at that point, and we all decided it would just be a good idea to get out of there when he stood up and said, ’It’s Stephanie’s bed time…’ We were just fixing to come get you.”

“Is that all?” I asked.

“Yeah, pretty much.” Dad said, and he came over and gave me a hug. I returned it; I honestly thought he needed it more than I did.

“It’ll be alright Daddy,” I told him. He stroked the top of my head and eventually we broke from our embrace.

“Tiffany I want you to do something for me tomorrow…” He started.

My face drained… he wasn’t going to ask me to be Brandon tomorrow?!?! I started to hyperventilate for a second before he figured out where my brain must have wandered. “No Tiffany, not that,” He said while giving me another hug.

I forced myself to breathe, “What?”

“I want you and your Mom to make sure that you are the prettiest granddaughter there.” He said with a smile, but I sensed he kind of meant it.

“I’ll do my best,” I forced a smile onto my face. I was still trying to recover from my near-panic attack. ‘I should know better by this point,’ I told myself.

“Okay then, it’s bed time for the princess,” he told me. Without warning he picked me up off the bed, hugged me, and then took me over to the bed. Mom must have seen what he was doing because she pulled the covers down and handed me my tiger. I smiled at both of them. I could deal with this part about being little still. My parents tucked me in, turned off most of the lights and the TV in the hotel room, and I turned over on the bed away from the remaining lights.

I sat up for a while thought listening to my parents moving around. They were talking low about something, but I couldn’t make it out. Dad headed to bed next, and all I could hear was Mom finishing up in the bathroom as I finally succumbed to sleep.

 

THE NEXT MORNING I felt Mom shake me, “Tiffany, come on, wake up sweetie,” she told me gently. I moaned and sat up, “What time is it?” I asked her.

“It’s seven, sweetie. Your dad and I thought it might be a good idea to get breakfast first before you get ready. Do you want to just go in your pajamas or do you want to change into something else?”

“You’ll let me go somewhere in just my pajamas?” I asked. Excepting pajama day that was a big no-no. I was wearing a pair of flannel pajamas with a t-shirt for a top, so it wasn’t like I wasn’t clothed though.

She nodded at me.

“Okay, let me put my hair up first though,” I told her groggily.

“Here I’ll do it for you,” she said with a scrunchie in hand already.

I turned my back to her and felt her grab my hair and force it into a pony tail. It was so frizzy, I didn’t have to look at it to see that, but I was too sleepy to care. The three of us headed downstairs and drove back over to that same IHOP we were at the day before. The restaurant was nearly empty as I guessed that once again most of the people must have been with family. I ordered the ‘pigs-in-a-blanket’ dish and just kind of zoned out.

I didn’t even remember ordering the orange juice that I began drinking with a straw, which also seemed to come from nowhere. Things had seemed to go well with Caleb and Stephanie yesterday, but apparently Uncle Allen was a problem…. Plus I was pretty sure Bobby didn’t like me either. I had no idea what my Aunt Wendy and her kids were going to think of me. I hoped I’d get along with them still… or at least not have issues. I was a little worried when her son Danny got together with Bobby.

The food arrived and I began cutting into the sausages that were wrapped in pancakes, and time seemed to pick back up. I was full after only two of them. I felt bad, there were a total of four of the wraps, and I couldn’t possibly finish all of them. Dad helped me out by taking one of them, but I couldn’t eat any more. Thankfully my parents had never made me finish all that was on my plate, or I might have been there all day.

Soon we were back at the hotel. Dad disappeared into the bathroom real quick before I was to get showered, “Mommy?”

“Yes dear?”

“Help me make Daddy proud…” I said nearly in tears. He’d asked just one thing of me, ever since reality had broken and they’d found out about me, he’d asked just one thing of me — and it had been last night. He wanted me to look pretty, prettier than my cousins.

Mom was really perceptive sometimes, and she instantly knew what I was thinking. She gave me a hug and said, “Tiffany, of course we will!” She gave me a kiss atop my head and then pushed me to arms length, “Not that we’ll have to do a whole lot of work to make you look prettier than them.” She smiled at me.

“Umm… right now it looks like it’s going to take a LOT of work,” I said pointing to my reflection in the mirror. It’s a good thing I’d been too unconscious to really think about how I’d looked going into IHOP for breakfast. The thought made me shudder. My hair was all over the place, and I was really wishing for my makeup bag. At least a little bit of mascara would have been nice. Some lip gloss? ‘Actually I do have some lip gloss in my backpack!’ I thought to myself excitedly. That didn’t precisely count as makeup, right?

The door to the bathroom opened and Dad came out. I gave him a quick smile on the way into the bathroom, and got right to work in the shower. Mom had left my shampoo and conditioner in there already, along with the body wash we both used. I scrubbed every inch of my body, my face, and washed my hair completely twice before I wrapped my hair in a towel and put another one around me.

“Are you done in the shower?” Mom asked me.

“Yes, but give me a moment before you come in,” I told her. I needed to pee. I sat down and took care of that, washed my hands, put on a pair of panties, my white tights, and said, “Come in Mom,” to her when I was back wrapped up. Mom helped me get ready the rest of the way that morning. She’d never been so involved in helping me get ready. My hair alone took her thirty minutes of blow drying, curling, spraying, and scrunching, before we finally got to the point where she helped me into my green holiday dress.

The dress had a stretch-velvet on top, so she didn’t have to zip me in — not that I couldn’t do that, but it had a bow in the back that I saw her smile really big as she tied it. She had put a bow into my hair already that matched the dress, and I smiled as I could see a couple ringlets coming down and framing the sides of my face. With the dress and the hair I looked a little bit younger than I liked, but I looked very pretty! Mom handed a cute pair of black Mary Jane shoes that I hadn’t seen before to me. Once I had those on she went back into the bathroom with me in tow.

From somewhere in her makeup case she brought out the sapphire earrings and necklace set that they had given me for my birthday. I silently wish they were emerald so they would match, but they were by far the prettiest jewelry items I had. Somewhere else inside of there she pulled out my mascara, “I thought you said I couldn’t bring my makeup!” I told her indignantly.

“I decided at the last minute that you could use a couple things out of there. Now hold still,” she told me.

“I can do it,” I told her.

“I know, but I want to do it,” she told me. I held absolutely stone still for her as she used the brush on both sets of my lashes. When they were dry I blinked a lot to make up for the lost blinks. She also pulled out a tube of my better lip gloss, “Here, I’ll let you do this one,” she told me.

“You do realize I’m twelve, right?” I asked her indignantly as I put it on. “You didn’t happen to pack any of my eye shadow in there did you?” I asked hopefully.

“No Tiffany, you’ve been wearing that too much as it is — you definitely don’t need it right now.” I frowned, I liked eye shadow. It wasn’t like I applied it in tramp amounts! I just liked how it could accent different colors. “Don’t pout at me young lady, or I’ll take it all away from you until you’re thirteen.”

I really frowned then.

“You know if it wasn’t for how fast things have happened, and the fact that your friends are all older I would never have let you start wearing makeup yet.”

I was kind of stunned by that. When I had first become Tiffany officially Melanie had gifted me with some makeup from my first salon visit, she had given me a little bit of grief then, but hadn’t said anything since. With everything else that was going on maybe she’d decided it was a losing battle. In a way I was surprised she was telling me this now, except that she was so stressed herself. “I’m sorry,” I told her.

“For what?”

“I don’t know, I seem to do everything all wrong,” I said trying to keep from having tears run through my eyes. I thought it was waterproof mascara, but I couldn’t remember.

“No you don’t sweetie, we just don’t seem to be able to do this traditionally.” She said giving me a quick hug. Dad had disappeared into the lobby on Mom’s orders so it was just us in the room right then.

I tried to smile at her a bit, but it was hard. I just seemed to hurt everyone in new ways every time I turned around. She read that doubt in my eyes and followed up with, “Tiffany, I won’t lie… I’d always hoped to have a daughter… I loved you when you were a boy… but I’d always dreamed of having a little girl to dress up in pretty dresses, do her hair,” she bobbed one of the ringlets coming in front of my face, “put makeup on her,” she had my chin lightly in her hands, “and everything else.” I smiled slightly at all of that, “And Tiffany, none of those dream daughters had anything on you. You’re smart, you’re talented, and you’re even pretty.” She gave me a hug and I was really trying not to cry now.

Thankfully Dad had given up on us at that point; we could hear the key card being swiped. She stood me up and shooed me into the bathroom. “Where is she,” I heard Dad ask as he came in, “I gave up on you two.”

“We just finished,” Mom said, “Come out Tiffany,” she called through the door. I walked out of the bathroom and I heard Dad audibly gasp.

“Hey! It’s not like I haven’t been dressed up before,” I told him sweetly.

“Yes you have, but every time it takes my breath away,” he told me in response.

“How do I look?”

“You look pretty… cute… unbelievable… I don’t really know how to sum it up in words.” He told me with a smile and took me into a gentle hug. Mom joined the hug a moment later, and then he asked, “So are you two ladies ready?”

“Yes… I think so.” I told him.

“Give me one second Joe,” Mom told him.

She used the restroom and fixed her own hair real quick before we left. I had complimented her a bit earlier on her dress. It was also green, though not quite the same shade as my dress, and she looked pretty in it. Dad had put on a button down shirt and slacks, but no cajoling could bring him to wear a tie today. He’d told us, “I’ll just pale in comparison to you two ladies no matter what.”

When we left the hotel to go to Uncle Allen’s house I had hope that maybe today would go well. I didn’t really believe it though.

 

THE THREE OF us climbed out of the car at Uncle Allen’s house and walked up the steps. Dad once again rang the doorbell, this time Aunt Jackie answered the door. “Hi Guys,” she said first. As I came into view she said, “Tiffany you look gorgeous!” she gave me a hug and I turned a little bit red from the attention.

We continued on into the living room and I saw that my Aunt Wendy’s family had made it. “H Joe! Mandy!” She said to my parents while giving them big hugs. “Tiffany, wow, you’re beautiful,” she said before she embraced me as well. She pushed me out to arms length and said, “I can’t believe it… Are you happy?” she asked me.

I was smiling and thought, ‘of course anytime I meet up with someone and they don’t point and call me a freak I’m happy!’ I knew what she meant though, “A lot happier than I was,” I told her.

She embraced me again, and then I was free of her to say ‘hi’ to everyone else. I looked around Aunt Wendy, planning on talking to Stephanie, but Aunt Linda caught me first.

“Tiffany I love your dress!” She told me. After some more gushing I thought I would be free of the Aunts and be good, but my older cousin Mindy, who was fifteen, also had to give me compliments.

“It’s good to see you Tiffany,” she told me a little hesitantly, but sincerely.

“It’s good to see you too Mindy!” I told her.

Cami, who at ten was my youngest cousin on that side of the family, came back in the room from the bathroom right about then. “See Tiffany got dressed up in a holiday dress too!” Mindy told her sister authoritatively.

“Just cause she does, doesn’t mean I should have to…” she said while walking over to us. “How are you doing Tiffany?” she asked me and gave me a hug.

“Good, you?”

“Good, except this dress…” She was wearing a holiday dress that had a black velvet bodice and a white skirt with an organza overlay, and a big red bow tied around her. It was pretty and she looked good in it - I didn’t know why she was complaining so much… “I guess that sounds a little strange to you… it’s not that I don’t like dresses, I just don’t like holiday dresses,” she answered the unanswered question in my mind.

“Oh, I guess I could see that. This was something my mom had to have me in this year, she said. I’d probably rather be wearing something more like Mindy has on,” I told her. Mindy just had a basic red fall dress on. It was simple, but it made her look a lot more mature than we looked.

“Mom wanted me to wear one of them again this year too,” Stephanie said coming from behind us, “but thankfully I’ve big enough on top that they didn’t fit right!” she said proudly.

The four of us made our way to the couches that were in the room while our moms all went to go help out in the kitchen. It was about eleven, and we were supposed to be eating at noon, so there was still plenty of work to do. All of our dads disappeared around the same time to go watch some game on TV, Caleb, Bobby, and Danny — who had only given me a nod as far as acknowledgement, went with them. That just left the four of us in the room.

As we sat down I said, “I’m really hoping that I’ll have the same excuse as you next year Stephanie.”

“What do you mean Tiffany?”

“My breasts being too big for the dresses!” I said with a smile as if that was obvious.

“You’re growing breasts?” Stephanie asked incredulously.

“Uh-huh,” I told her. “You can kind of see they’re coming in through the top of this dress.” I turned sideways and I heard a bit of a gasp.

“How can you grow them…? I mean that’s… you’re not a…” I heard Stephanie stutter.

“I’m on medicine for it. I’m going to grow just like every other girl with it.”

“Really?” Cami asked. She was young enough that she understood, but at the same time she didn’t.

“By the time I’m Mindy’s age there should be only one way that you can tell what I was born as…” I paused, “and hopefully by the time I get to college that should be gone as well.”

“My brother says you’re a freak because of that,” Cami said.

I kept myself in control, although all I really wanted to do was cry or scream at her. She hadn’t said it herself, just that her brother said it. Mindy came to the rescue, “Cami, you shouldn’t listen to Danny — he’s a jerk, and an idiot. Tiffany is different, but she’s family and I think she’ll fit in with us just fine today!” She said with a smile towards me. “You know you all are complaining about holiday dresses, but I miss them! They’re cute and pretty! I’d trade you in a heartbeat if I could Cami!”

Cami just shrugged, “you can’t fit otherwise I’d take you up on your offer!” she giggled.

“So Tiffany, umm… do you dress like this at school?” Cami asked.

“In this dress?!?!?” I asked with a hint of disdain. “Not this dress, but others sometimes. I’ll wear skirts, slacks, my cheerleading stuff… you know normal stuff!” I told her.

The four of us got into a big discussion then about how everything had happened to me. Mindy was awesome all the way through that talk. She knew just how to defuse her sister if she was thinking something stupid, and she seemed to be fine with me. The girls were all impressed that I was a co-captain on the squad — well Stephanie had found that out the night before. Somehow I managed to give them my condensed story of my life of the past year in forty minutes.

About that time Aunt Wendy came in, “girls, would you please give us a hand setting up the tables?”

“Yes ma’am” was said in surround sound at that moment and the four of us got up to go help out. They had one long table that was long enough to get all of the adults around, but couldn’t quite fit all of the grandkids too, so they put us at two card tables pushed together on the side of the room. It always kind of annoyed me to be put at a kids table, but it wasn’t worth arguing about — I’d learned that long ago. We helped put silverware and plates out at every chair, filled glasses with ice, and helped carry everything out to a buffet table they had setup. Their house was hands down the easiest house to host something like this at, since all of the rest of our houses were much smaller.

Grandpa and the rest of the men and boys came away from the TV about that time. He gave me a big hug and said, “Tiffany you’re absolutely the prettiest girl here,” quietly in my ear so that only I could hear. I smiled at him.

Grandma had been in the kitchen the whole time and came out about then too, “Tiffany you’re absolutely gorgeous!” she said as she gave me a hug as well.

As a family we began taking our places at the tables and Grandpa was asked to say grace, “Dear Heavenly Father, as we gather here today we thank thee for all that is around us. For our good health and all of the blessings you have given us. Thank you for granting us all safe travel to here, and please be with us as we travel home this weekend. We ask that you bless this food to the nourishment of our bodies, in Jesus name we pray, Amen.”

“Amen,” I said, and heard the rest of our family say it as well.

A line formed, and Grandpa said to us, “Ladies first.” That was actually rather nice since I’d always been on the other side of that! I saw a glare directed at me by Danny at that moment. I was dreading eating lunch at the same table as him. Thankfully I was sitting with Mindy on my right, Stephanie on my left, Cami and Caleb across from me, and Danny and Bobby were on the other end past Caleb and Stephanie. I wouldn’t have known what to do if I’d been sitting next to Bobby and Danny, both seemed to glare at me hatefully every time I turned around. Actually Uncle Allen’s stares weren’t very friendly either.

I tried to ignore all of that as I made my way down the table. I placed a couple pieces of turkey breast on my plate, followed by some stuffing, sweet potatoes with marshmallows on them, mashed potatoes and gravy, and a dinner roll before sitting down. Just looking at the food made me feel like I was going to gain twenty pounds, but it smelled and looked so delicious! As we got through the line first we were already sitting down when the boys came over there.

Danny looked around at the table and said loudly, “Do I have to sit at the table with the fag?”
Everyone in the room just stopped what they were doing. I’d just made it to the point of putting some mashed potatoes in my mouth, and felt like I was about to cough them up and everything else that might have still been in my stomach. I heard my fork land on the plate loudly as I turned to look at him. I had just barely turned my head when I saw a fist collide with Danny’s head.

“Caleb!!!” I heard Uncle Allen scream.

“He had it coming,” Caleb said calmly.

“You shouldn’t have hit him! Go to your room!” he yelled angrily at Caleb coming over towards him.

“Dad you’re not even angry that I hit him, you’re mad because I’m standing up for Tiffany,” Caleb was calm, but I could feel the anger in his voice. About that time I could hear Danny crying, I didn’t really care about him though.

“You’re right, why the hell you’re standing up for that freak I don’t know!” Uncle Allen shouted at him.

I wasn’t going to take this, “You know I don’t need him to stand up for me Uncle Allen. Go ahead. Say what’s on your mind! I know you hate me, I’m not stupid. Don’t go blaming everyone else because you can’t get over yourself.” He looked at me in disbelief — all of my family just stood still not knowing what to do.

“I’ve dealt with far worse than you and Danny. Go ahead, give me your worst shot, call me the worst names you want to, but don’t you dare give Caleb grief because you can’t deal with this. You’re a mean alcoholic and I don’t care what you think or say about me!” He moved towards me. My dad instantly became unfrozen and moved towards him.

“Don’t you even think of laying a hand on my daughter, Allen,” my dad said quietly. “I will beat the living tar out of you.”

“Like you could…”

“I will have no problem taking care of you Allen.” My dad flexed his muscles. Allen had a couple inches and fifty pounds or so on my dad, but my dad had much stronger muscles. I saw Allen weighing his odds.

“Boys, Boys!” My grandmother began saying as she came towards the two.

“Stay out of this Mom,” Allen said to her. “Just because you all have decided it’s alright for this abomination to behave this way doesn’t mean that I have to put up with it… not under my roof!”

“You know, you’re right Allen, this is your house… we’ll be going now,” My dad said calmly as he gently grabbed the top of my arm while putting himself in between the two of them. My mother also started walking out and gently grabbed a hold of the other side of me. I was in shock at this point. We’d made it as far as the hallway when I heard the shouting erupt between the rest of my family and Allen. Everyone else seemed to be pummeling him with shouts. I knew it was only a matter of time before I began crying, but I wasn’t going to let it happen here. He was not going to get the pleasure of seeing me cry over that.

Dad grabbed our coats off the coat rack and helped me into mine. I’d just gotten my arms into the jacket when I turned and saw the rest of family coming down the hallway. I didn’t care, nor did my parents. “Come on Tiffany,” my Dad said to me.

The three of us walked quickly down the sidewalk and to our car that was parked on the street. Dad had closed my door and I was just making it far enough along in my thoughts to put my seatbelt on when Aunt Jackie burst from the house and ran over to the driver’s side door where Dad was just getting ready to climb in.

“Joe! Hold on a second!”

“Why should I Jackie? I mean if he doesn’t want us in his house that’s up to him…”

“Because it’s my house too, and I’m not going to tolerate that behavior. You’re a guest and you should be treated like one, no matter what he thinks of you guys. Not to mention you’re his brother for crying out loud.”

“I’m not going to subject Tiffany to any more of that, we’ve had all that we’re going to take.” He told her.

“I promise you’re not going to have to deal with any more of it today. I told Allen if that happens again I’m calling the police on him.”

“I don’t want us to be causing this though, it’s more worth it for us just to leave and let everyone else have their thanksgiving meal in peace,” Dad told her moving to get into the car.

I saw some movement out of the corner of my eye and saw their garage door opening. As soon as it was open I saw a car go flying out of the garage and down the sidewalk with reckless abandon. Aunt Jackie sighed, and it looked like she was near tears herself. “Look, please come inside, I don’t think he’s coming back till tonight at this point — there’s no reason you three shouldn’t be eating dinner with us.”

“Joe, let’s go in and eat,” Mom finally spoke. He gave her a look that I could understand as, ‘are you sure?’ She nodded as a silent answer to the unspoken question.

“If anything else happens we’re not coming back inside — we’ll probably just head straight to the hotel, check-out, and head home.” He told her.

“There won’t be anything else, I promise you.” She said to him and gave him a hug as he stepped out. Mom unlatched the sliding door for me and I undid my seat belt.

As the four of us walked back in I felt like I really needed to cry, I was so embarrassed. Right at the door I was immediately met by Grandma and Grandpa, “Sweetie, we’re soo sorry about that,” they told me as they grabbed me into their embraces. All of the rest of our family was apologizing non-stop about Uncle Allen’s behavior. Aunt Wendy apologized for Danny’s behavior. I could see that Uncle Raymond was yelling at him in the room across from where we were standing. I hated that I had caused the family gathering to get so out of hand, and I couldn’t help it at that point, tears began coming through my eyes. I managed to hold it back to a few though. It wasn’t easy.

“I’m going to the bathroom,” I told my parents, without giving them a chance to say anything to me about them.

‘I’m not going to lose it right now,’ I told myself in the mirror while holding a Kleenex up to my eyes. ‘I’m really glad this is waterproof mascara,’ I said to myself, ‘I’m such a cry baby…’ I forced myself to sit down, go to the bathroom, wash my hands, and check my reflection and leave the bathroom before I’d been in there too long. I knew my parents would have been worried anyway, but too long would have caused them to worry enough to come chasing after me.

Mom was standing there when I opened the door, “Are you okay Tiffany?” she asked as she hugged me.

“Not really, but I’m not going to let myself lose it till later, okay?” I told her.

She looked on the verge of saying something but bit her tongue and nodded instead. She put her arm around me and led me back to the dining room. I sat down at the table again, but wasn’t really interested in eating then. It didn’t help that my food had all cooled down to where it was cold. ‘Maybe we should have just left,’ I thought to myself.

“I’m really sorry about that,” Stephanie whispered to me.

“It’s not your fault,” I told her. “It’s not like it’s the first time it’s happened to me either.”

“Do you get this a lot?” she asked. I could see some concern in her eyes.

“Sometimes… I’m really lucky that I have a great group of friends, and they’re basically all the coolest kids in school — so that helps… but I’ve been called everything you can imagine, and some that you can’t. I’ve been attacked by kids and adults too. I don’t think it will ever really stop, although sometimes it seems to calm down a bit.”

“Is it worth it?” Mindy asked beside me.

“Sometimes I wonder… but then when I think of trying to live as Brandon… I can’t even imagine trying to maintain that… that… lie anymore. I am Tiffany, and that’s how I’m going to live no matter what anyone else tells me,” I said with conviction in my voice.

I felt an arm reach across my shoulder and pull me closer to Mindy in a small hug. “Well I’m fine with have you as a girl cousin,” she told me. “Anytime you want to come out and hang out with me I’ll be glad to have you.”

“Thanks Mindy.” I told her.

As I sat poking at my food I noticed that Danny had come back in to sit down. Or at least try to sit down, in addition to a bruise that was forming on his face where Caleb had decked him, he looked like he’d had a belt taken to his rear the way he was struggling to sit down. I had no pity for him. He’d deserved it.

I forced myself to look back down at my food and ate the mashed potatoes, a small piece of turkey, and the sweet potatoes before calling it quits on the plate. I just couldn’t really eat any more, I was too upset. If I had been anywhere else I probably would have tried to excuse myself at that moment, but I needed to be a good guest… whatever that was at this point. I didn’t hear much conversation anywhere though, so I figured that everyone must have been feeling similarly.

Caleb had an appetite that I had never seen matched, even with everything that had happened, and he stood up to go get dessert. “Tiffany, do you want me to take your plate for you?” he asked me.

“What…? Oh sure,” I told him. “Sorry,” I told him.

“Don’t be sorry Tiffany, it’s not your fault.”

I began to open my mouth to disagree but he just shook his head, “It’s not your fault. Would you like some dessert while I’m up?” He had gone to bat for me, punched my jerk cousin straight in the face, and now he was asking me if I wanted him to get dessert for me? There should be a rule somewhere that someone can only do so many nice things for you.

“No thanks, I’ll get some in a moment,” I said.

“Really, what do you want and I’ll get it for you,” he said.

At that point it would have been rude to turn him down, “Pumpkin pie, please?” I asked nicely.

“Pumpkin pie right up!” he said with a smile.

I stared at the empty spot on the table where my plate had been for a few moments before he returned with a dessert plate with a piece of pumpkin pie on it with a mountain of whipped cream sprayed on top. I couldn’t help but giggle at that, “Did you get enough whipped cream on it?” I asked.

“I can go get more if you’d like,” he told me. Then I looked at his plate as he sat down. He had the pie, a piece of cake, something else, and a mountain of whipped cream on his pie that made mine look like a small bump.

“Would you like a little bit of pie to go with your whipped cream,” Mindy snickered.

“Mom won’t let me just have whipped cream,” he said with a wink at us.

That helped break the mood a little bit. The five of us didn’t talk a lot, but we did engage in a small amount of conversation after that. That was until I made the mistake of looking up at Danny at one point; he was glaring at me and talking to Bobby. Both of them seemed to be agreeing on something, I was pretty sure it was something about me unfortunately.