Life is bigger, too bigger for me right now. Why is it that the "50 Shades" trilogy makes so much sense to me; that I see myself in Anna, Christian and his subbies? Why do I vainly hope for that good ending? Why do I inwardly "rage against the dying of the light"? I've been tasked with writing a letter, my final appeal to a group of men that I have little respect for, and further my friends ask me to not be insolent and sassy, and disrespectful. They tell me that even if this last effort fails, at least it will benefit those behind me.

Many of us, when they think about it, can relate to stories of being forced to be male. It is a hinge point of many stories here, and it happened to me also, though in retrospect perhaps I was only impersonating one.

There was a time in my youth that I could not determine which was better, great sex, or a full dump. Miniature Ectomorphs tend to have issues with getting their digestive systems to work. As to the sex these days there is desire about once or twice a year. When I write about the 'act', it tends to be in the most vague of terms, since it is just much more important to me to hold or be held affectionately. Perhaps it is a bit of the XXY creeping in?

Joseph Campbell was a very well known philosopher and studier of comparative religion. Nowadays a significant number of the stories here are right out of mythology and lots of that interacts with ancient Jewish themes. I am intrigued by a story on the front page now where there is reference to one's True Name, and I am fairly sure that it originates partially from a book in the Old Testament of what Christians call Isaiah 56:4-5

New authors here can make of this site almost what they choose to make it. The first sites I published on were cranky and one even altered some of my stories such that I almost did not recognize a few. Still they published me and I was grateful. In the 90's I wrote a lot and got chewed out, but improved a lot. The scope of my spelling and grammar errors was legendary.

I am most thankful that even in my early years here, starting around 2005, certain people still massaged my stories and the other day someone told me that I am doing much better than in the beginning.

I am just getting ready to start reading a rather long story by an author I like which deals with him trying to drink himself to death before finally facing that he is actually a female in his head. This is a rather well used trope I think, though I anticipate enjoying the story.

I believe I read "Peaches" the first time when it was just out. I was likely in the middle of my own very traumatic emergence and likely did not enjoy it as much as I should have.

So, yesterday I downloaded it to my PC Kindle and read it again. It is a lovely and uplifting story and I enjoyed it very much indeed.

A story I was working on (Remember "Houston we have a problem"?) just flamed out and fell into the ocean. It is clear that I have different "writing voices", but I have a difficult time controlling that. I don't know what I am going to do with it now.

Today I read part of one of my first stories that was I published on Storysite first and then migrated it over to BCTS later. I now remember that Crystal was not that impressed with my writing at first, and I think she did some pretty heavy editing on both "MS Frankenstein" and "Desert Princess" though I don't know for sure.

The counter thingie says I've been a pest here for slightly over 9 years or 2006. I first published at "Story Site" in 2001, probably after I returned from Kenya, completely shattered. My heart felt little dream of Christianity making the world a better place had been proved to be a vile, machiavellian. fantasy. I'd had shocking glimpses of the underbelly and droppings of the Missionary game. Then in a few weeks the 9/11 thing came, and the world came crashing in for so many of us, worst of all the occupants of the towers.

I know this is going to bump my other blog off but this is more important.

The new Series "Shannara" is OK but I think there are several authors here who could have written it better. It's a very loose combination of "Lord of the Rings" and Bailey's "15ft of Steel".

The thing is wound too tight for me and too much tension but the actors seem good.

Gwen

Watching Twilight 2 for about the 4th time to keep the daemons at bay tonight when I was struck at the similarities between it and Bike. Simon and Cathy are saying the same things to each other as Bella and Edward.

Promise I'll behave, so no chewing me out, unless someone wants to spank me.

Everything is so dark and sad now taking these bloody Antibiotics. Too sick to even be snotty. 5 days left ...

FUCK !!!

It is embarrassing to admit that I have not figured this out, and the one opportunity to get it right, I ignored.

You see, I have no BUTT. And, that is exacerbated by childhood scoliosis that left my lower back with no "Lordosis" whatsoever. I did purchase a padded butt/hip panty but it was far too tight, and now I can not even get into it at all !

It was one of those Made in China, size L things. For those who have noticed, this year is starting off as the year of the bigggg butt. In fact, no butt is a dead give away. :(

In doing research for a story character, I am building a little boy, the heir of an Arab family, who was kidnapped from the UAE at age 4 and brought to the US, castrated, and raised as a girl slave by criminals. Her nanny, also kidnapped, but from Saudia, has raised her, teaching her Arabic, and the things expected of a woman. The child is very bright. This is still developing.

To those in the North of the UK who are the victims of the present flooding, my heart goes out to you. I have experienced flooding also so know how much it can devastate you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Gwen