dorothycolleen's blog

doubts

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Okay, so for the last while, I've been sharing stories at a writing group every two weeks, and last night I shared part 2 of a story called "Six forty-five" (which you can find here: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/book/34885/six-forty-five ) and it went over well. So I came home to look at part 3, and ... I dont know. I'm seriously lacking confidence in it.

If anybody wants to look at it, and see if its better than my brain is telling me, that would cool ...

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doing yardwork is proving a challenge

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When I moved in to my brother and sister-in-law's basement, one of the things I agreed to was to take over the outside chores - mostly snow shoveling and lawn care.

At that time the thing I worried about was that my mental health issues would make doing these jobs tough.

I never dreamed how fast my physical health would deteriorate.

I never imagined that there would be a time when being out working for an hour would be a serious challenge.

I honestly dont know how long I can keep up to my promise, or what happens when I cant anymore.

sighs ...

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story idea - "the Breach"

Okay so I'm fooling around with a story idea, and could use some feedback, Basic idea is a young heroine from a obscure "magical girl" manga which has been repackaged for an English speaking audience finds herself blown out of the pages of her book, into a place between stories, between universes. She now goes from universe to universe, story to story, trying to get "home". To make this idea extra awesome I'd like other authors' permission for her to visit their stories and interact with their characters as part of her journey,

Anybody wanna jump in?

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tough weekend

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Its been a tough weekend. I go for an assessment for Bariatric surgery, and I've been super anxious the last couple of days, even losing my temper a couple of times. Hugs appreciated.

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got a load of clothes from Sharon

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if you had told me a few years ago my ex would be sending me a bag of women's clothes to use I would have called you delusional. But that happened today. I wish I could send out some of my good luck to everyone here.

So I took the clothes home, and tried them on, and I had a kitty "helping" me . She was very helpful sitting in the middle of the pile of clothes on my bed occasionally mewing commentary. the dog was at the foot of the bed to offer a dissenting opinion

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Dementia here I come

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Anybody else have a word go missing from their vocabulary? I'm talking a simple, everyday word, one you've read and said hundreds of times just drop out and leave you half angry and half terrified?

Its happened to me. In fact, recently, I was trying to relate a story about a time when this happened, and the SAME WORD hat had given me such distress the first time disappeared as I was trying to talk about it.

Sighs. Dementia here I come ...

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tough day

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tough day today. tweeked my male bits while out shopping with Sharon, which set off my dysphoria so bad I could have broken down and cried right there but managed to hold it in. The pain and dysphoria then triggered my PTSD, so I was really having a tough time. So how can I recover from such difficulties? I watch something like this: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oW9f04Dctz4

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writing prompt

here is a little writing prompt: Two police entered the bus station. One seemed too young, an impression mostly given by the fact his uniform is too large for him. The other had grey hair and wrinkles, but carried himself with confidence and strength. The younger officer opens a locker, and strains to pull out a duffel bag. The older officer unzips the bag, revealing it is stuffed with cash. The younger man swallows, and says, "We're gonna get killed for this, arent we?" The older man replies, "Probably."

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not in a good place

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I am facing a group of issues, any one of which would put serious strain on my spoon count.

The first is my bipolar cycle, which seems to be accelerating, somehow. I've had three crippling depressions inside of two weeks, each only lasting hours. This is far faster than anything I've dealt with before, and I dont know why its happening.

The second involves my PTSD. I seem to be in a state of hyper-awareness, the total opposite of my usual disassociation. And just like the bipolar cycle, i have no clue why.

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a big thank you

just wanted to give a big public "thank you" to everyone who sent me revisions/corrections o my story. I'm working my way through them now, and I believe the story will be better for it.

Again, thanks, and huggles to commentator, Eric, Xtrim, and Patricia Marie Allen for their assistance, and Qmodo who also volunteered.

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putting on my own mask first

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Today I wanted to go swimming. This became difficult when Sharon phoned just as I was leaving asking me to take Sam to West Edmonton mall, but I told her I had made my plans for the day. At first, I felt like I was being selfish, but then I remembered someone posing about how airlines tell parents to put on their own oxygen masks first, because if you pass out, you cant help your kid anyway. So today, I put on my own mask first.

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so sorry for a lack of new stuff

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Just wanted anybody who has been hoping for something new from me to know; its gonna be a while. Depression and PTSD have drained my spoons, and in any case I seem to be seriously stuck on my Sherlock Holmes story.

So sorry.

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afraid to write?

One thing I've learned is that when I start acting in an uncharacteristic manner, something's wrong. And right now, I'm having problem writing my Sherlock story. At first, my brain tried to distract me by sending me a couple of small pieces (Toddy Notrope and The Last Race), as well as a new pathfinder character (Bobby Biglips, a drag queen/wizard), but now that those are finished, I'm finding a strange reluctance to go back to working on the Sherlock story, and I dont really know why.

Maybe if you guys sent my muse some encouragement and/or huggles, she would respond?

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a positive response

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I apparently forgot to tell everybody that I went to my writing group Thursday, and shared "Under the stars" (which you can read here: https://bigclosetr.us/topshelf/fiction/44433/under-stars ) and they absolutely loved it.

I really needed the positive reinforcement, you know?

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Lego Dotty

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okay so dream time again:

I dreamed I was the star of an animated TV show where I played a Lego version of myself.

In the dream my Lego self got into a hockey game with Lego versions of Disney villains and ended up getting slightly singed, to the laughter of my Lego friends and people saying "That's Dotty all over" as the credits ran.

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