I have a rather unusual request. In my next story I have a character who will be offering trans people the opportunity to re-write their personal history, so they always were the girl (or boy) their heart says they are. And what I would like is to use a couple of real-life people as getting the offer. Talia has already given the go-ahead for me to use her, but I would very much like to get a couple more if I can. So if this sounds interesting to you, please PM me.

Well, the last little while, along with being in a bad place PTSD-wise, I have seen my gender dysphoria levels skyrocket.

I am not sure what's going on but I would like it to stop now ...

My mom is having a wistful day today, as it is the anniversary of the birth of her oldest child - who tragically died two days after being born.

I have often wondered if the fact that he died, and both me and my older brother both almost died as babies plays into the fact I'm trans ...

I'm really sorry to do a double post, but I just heard back from the Toronto PD, and Crazypagangurl, aka Tiffani passed away Nov. 15.

I'm ... gonna go cry now ...

I have come to realize that my PTSD is about more than my rapes. Its every little trauma that followed the same neural pathway like little streams following the path of a mighty river. No wonder that by the time I finally sought help I had such a mess in my head ...

I went to a local pool today, and they have a "lazy river". It was really nice and kind of fun to let the current take me along, but there was always the security in knowing that if I wasnt happy with where I was going all I had to do was stand up. Gee, there might be something profound in that, dont you think?

wanted to give you guys an update. Now that my new computer is up and running, I am hoping to get back to writing as my spoons allow. unfortunately, as the two projects I have on the go are longer than my usual, including one I hope to make into my entry in the next contest, it will be a while before I have something to share with you all.

But I'll still be my usual comment-happy self, so no worries there ....

PTSD attack bad hugs needed

my computer has died, probably from an overdose of Jaci's girly germs. So I wont be online for a bit. huggles to all.

The quote is of course, courtesy Monty Python, and fortunately, I'm luckier than the fellow in the sketch. See, I dodged a bullet in terms of my liver. CT scan showed the same level of fatty tissue as before, so for now, its exercise, diet, and keep an eye on things. Also good news, despite the pain I have been feeling in my hip the last while, no signs of further arthritic damage, so my doctor said its most likely a pulled muscle or strained tendon, and again, losing weight would be the best thing I can do for it.

It is safe to say that without Big Closet. "Dorothy" would not exist. In fact its debatable whether I would even be alive now had I not found this site. Which is why the constant struggles to keep the site financially afloat has me worried, and more than a little frustrated.

See, I am on disability, and once I take care of my rent, car, and food, I might have maybe 20 bucks a month left over, and that's on a good month. Not to mention my mom is covering for me in terms of giving money to my ex and my daughter and that's far from fair.

Just wanted to send a public thank you to crazypagangurl; aka Tiffani, who listened to me blubber for about an hour last night.

hugs, and thank you!

Okay so I got some good news about Sam's future.

Apparently there is a program offered at NAIT that will allow her to take cooking arts there even if she doesnt have a GED. Not only that, it is specifically set up for people with mental disabilities like Sam, and they will also help her find a job in the field when she's done.

It all sounds fantastic ...

I have the beginnings of an idea about a story connected to my M.Y.T.H. universe, but I am going to need help. Does anybody know about creatures of the Louisiana swamps? Specifically, I'm thinking any thinking monsters or were-creatures ? If you do, or know any resources related to that mythos, please let me know.

I am in a weird place at the moment. Its kinda like this: (part of my brain): "Any moment now, my facade of happiness will crack, and I'll tumble into a depression ..... any moment now .... I'm braced, I'm ready, bring on the sad .... any time now ... (taps a foot ) ... yeah, it will sure will be awful .... when that big downer hits .... any time now ..."

and on and on like that ...