nobility?

We all have days where we lose our way.

Where we get wrapped up in the wrong thing.

Where stop being and merely exist.

On these days, we need to step back

The Butterfly song

One day as I made my rounds

I saw a caterpillar on the grounds

“I have a dream in which I fly!”

Is what the caterpillar said to I

A mighty man, Tall and broad
Muscles of steel, he could carry his load
Fist like a hammer, arms like a vise
Move like a train, get out of his path

Soft satin skin and red ruby lips

Carry On

Well I woke up to the sound of silence
the cars were cutting like knives in a fist fight
and I found you with a bottle of wine
your head in the curtains

In the middle of the Storm

He vowed to stay with you and you spoke of eternities
In good times it’s easy to say “I will not fail”;
For sunny meadows you walked together

Coffee Aroma

I'm back now, without knowing why
I feel so happy, because I'll meet my love today
Happy I am and more I will be
My soul yearns, my heart beats

I wrote this poem in the winter 1991 - 1992. I had recently moved out on my wife, at the time, and in with my first Tgal lover. I'd started HRT in June '91 and had my GRS with Dr. Stanley Biber in Trinidad, Colorado scheduled for June '92.

I had met my first M2F TS in January 1990 and realized I was TS later that year. In 2 1/2 years, I was going from being in denial about my true self and seeming like a "normal guy" to most people, to being post-op. Sometimes things seemed to be going so fast that I felt like I was on a rocket sled. I wanted to transition so much and I felt that I had wasted so much time; there was nothing to do but go as fast as possible, but still my head was spinning from all the changes.

In the fog of life
A feeling of soft butterfly kisses
Trail fleetingly across my neck
Steel strong self belies gentle soul
Wistful desire of dress with rococco lace

I die today. Did you know that?
No, I suppose you don’t.
I guess I didn’t show it. I’m good at that. The hiding.
I pass you on the sidewalk, and I might even smile at you.

TRUE LOVE
Like the rain in the desert you watered
of faith my heart, drowned my fears
Like a sweet voice in the silence
So we got love, "True Love"

I love you because the person who am I when I am with you

Loveblind

Everyone wants me to stay away from him
that he is the worst and he doesn’t love me ...
they say I'm so loveblind that I can’t see
I don’t care if he has no money, no job or if he is strange
They say he is playing falsely and that I’m his game

And another poem, this one quite a bit shorter and a little older.

This Poem is deadicated to my dead Friend, only real family member I had,& Familiar ShadowFax:

"Only U Can Make
The Darkness Bright,
Only U Can Fill My
Heart W/ Light,Alway's
In My Thought's,But
Never In My Sight,
Without U I Don't Think
I Have The Strength To
Win This Fight"

Haters Gonna Hate (That's Why Lovers Gotta love)

Copyright 2012 by Heather Rose Brown

This Friday I was talking to another transgendered person about a hate crime they had witnessed. I went home with an aching sadness and rage at the unprovoked violence. It wasn't until later while chatting with some friends that I heard someone say, "Haters gonna hate," to which I responded, "That's why lovers gotta love." After thinking about those two phrases last night, I woke up with the following song.

What if emotion were colors?
What if a tear could turn your whole body blue?

What if a smile could turn you yellow?
And a laugh into pink?

What if lonely was a deep purple?
And hopeless was grey?

Joy could be gold,
And green would be apathy.

I wonder, then, would people still ignore it?
Would they be able to ignore depression?