Sandra had arranged for our internship to start after the wedding, giving us some actual vacation time before we began to work. Besides, with a wedding in the works, two built-in assistants were a boon to the busy bride who also had to keep up with full-time employment.

Flowers, catering, dresses and tuxes, housing relatives, co-ordination of the multitude of old friends who were almost as excited to see Sandra wed as she was. We were constantly on the phone or hopping a bus to be sure one thing or another would go as it was planned and not cause a last-second emergency.

I also ran up the long-distance bill talking to my parents about the sudden possibilities in my life. We were fortunate that we were separated by a time zone, so that I could call after eleven my time and they would still be awake to talk at the reduced rates. Despite having Connie as part of their family for many years, they had never really considered that I would want to make her permanent, abandoning Conrad completely. They were still coping with letting go of their child, as all parents must, knowing that Conrad would be making his own way in the world after finishing college.

It had only been a few weeks since they had met Julie; our getting married made my independence all the more real. Since we were waiting on the test results, we really couldn't be very clear about what would be happening. I did make clear that, no matter what happened on the medical front, I was going to be living as Connie and Julie was completely approving.

Of one thing we were all certain, we were a family no matter what happened. Once again, my naive younger self didn't realize just how unusual that level of love and support was in the real world. I was going to need all the support I could get when I returned to the college - I just didn't know it yet.
 

At last the week was up and we returned to the endocrinologist to see what was next. I had a hard time not biting on my polished nails waiting to hear the results.

"Well, Ms Cobb, we have the results, and it seems you have a very low level of testosterone in your blood. Still within the normal range, but barely. Let me take a minute to explain testosterone to you, it's not something that most people know much about.

"Everybody has some level of the sex hormones - estrogen is the primary in women and testosterone the primary in men, but everybody a has some of both. The higher level of testosterone in men is what encourages hair growth, makes for his larger muscle mass and certainly affects libido.

Estrogen in women causes breast growth and hip development starting at puberty, and controls a whole chain of other hormones that prepare a woman to have children. By the way, the fluctuating hormone levels when a woman has her period are much of why some women experience mood swings. The subject is quite complex and we are still learning how the body functions. Also, testosterone in women has some effect on her libido as well.

"Too much or too little of either of these hormones will cause problems, which is why we have my specialty in medicine. The important part for you is that by artificially providing estrogen a man will begin to develop breasts and body fat will rearrange itself in the characteristically female distribution. It's not all positive for someone like yourself desirous of appearing as a woman, unfortunately. You would probably get to experience those mood swings even if you would not have a period. There are also some indications that estrogen therapy might encourage cancer, but that is far from proven at this time.

"But there are other considerations. I assume since you intend to marry you will be thinking of children together?"

"Of course!" answered Julie. Before I could formulate an answer.

"And here's the rub. I don't wish to be indelicate, Connie, but you are somewhat underdeveloped as a man. You said that puberty came very late for you?"

"Yes, it did. A little more hair, I hardly have to shave and my voice never changed that much."

"Considering your feminine desires, that must have been a blessing. The problem is that I would be hesitant to prescribe female hormones for you if you are planning to father children in the future. We really don't fully understand the complex interactions of hormones, I would be afraid that prolonged estrogen therapy might prevent you from siring a child when the time came.

"Now, there are ways around this, but they can be very expensive. You could store your sperm in a sperm bank, and then use in vitro fertilization to start your children, but that is a complex and expensive procedure, and one that doesn't always succeed. It would also involve some invasive procedures for you, Ms Wheeler.

"Another alternative is plastic surgery without resorting to hormones. I must say that you have taken on the female role exceptionally well, Ms Cobb. You might consider breast augmentation as a first step, leaving further changes until you have started your family. I'm sure you are aware of the difficulties of two women raising a family in our society. I seriously recommenced you both talk to a psychiatrist before you take any action. You are contemplating great changes in your lives, you need to be sure what you're getting into before you make any physical changes.

"I'm sorry I couldn't offer you better news, Ms Cobb, but you can't change the facts. I know I've given you a great deal to think about today, so take your time and discuss this thoroughly between yourselves. I can give you the names of several therapists who have some familiarity with men like you, please take advantage of their wisdom in making your decisions.

"It's been a pleasure, ladies. I just wish I could wave a magic wand and magically grant you three wishes, but so far medical technology hasn't been able to provide me with one. I wish you both the best, and a long and happy life together. When you have decided what you want to do, please call and we will discuss this further."
 

The trip home was very quiet. We were very quiet. It was a good thing Sandra had let us use the car because I don't think either of us could have coped with riding a crowded bus right then. I won't try to reproduce our conversation - a lot of it was tears and wordless hugs. A lot of it was talking about our sex life, and I'm not going to give you any details on that. Suffice it to say that I would never claim to be a stud of any sort. We found ways to enjoy each other's bodies very nicely, thank you.

Of course, Sandra was quick to pick up on the mood and quietly offered to talk about whatever was bothering us. I knew in a vague way that Julie and her mother were very open about sex, something that Connie and her mother (there I go in the third person again) were never able to do. I, for my part, was just going to give the bare bones of what we had learned, but talking to Sandra was very easy. She should have been a psychiatrist, the way she could draw out the intimate details without seeming intrusive. When we had run down she simply talked "Do you want my advice or should I keep my big mouth shut?"

"Of course we want your advice," I answered truthfully.

"Then start calling those shrinks and find one you can talk to. While you're doing that I'll get the names of several plastic surgeons who are using our new silicone breast implants. I hadn't mentioned we also are testing implants because I didn't think you were ready to consider a permanent change. Now that I know you are, and you both are in agreement, you have a friend in the business. I can get it for you wholesale!"

We needed a good laugh about then.

"I don't know if any of them work with transgendered patients, but I'll find out. You need to be looking at all your options."

"And how is a starving student going to pay for all this?" I asked.

"That can always be arranged. Health insurance, test study grants, indentured servitude, there are lots of possibilities there, too. Find out what's possible, then worry how to pay for it."