Chapter 6 - Of Skirts and Skating

By Friday morning things had settled down a bit. My parents had recovered from the Birds and Bees session, even if I was still mulling it over. At thirteen I was too young to maunder, but mulling was good practice for later in my life.

I had been able to do my homework twice while wearing a bra and garter belt, and was still enthralled. Naturally, anything new will inevitably become normal, and I found myself wanting more! Somehow, even looking from the perspective of being seventy years old and knowing I'm nearer to the end of things than the beginning, I still want more. I suppose that never changes. Just how to go about getting that more was something I was still trying to figure out.

Something that had become clear was, with all the talk about Sonja Henie, I was interested in trying to ice skate. Now that was something that I could do something about.

"Hey Mom?" I asked at breakfast.

"What's on your mind, Con?"

"I've been thinking about what you said about ice skating."

"Oh, you have. That's nice."

"I'd kinda of like to have you teach me how to do it."

"Really? I haven't skated in years."

"Maybe it's like riding a bike - you never forget."

"That's an elephant. I'm not sure they make skates big enough for elephant feet."

"Mom!"

"It might be kind of fun. I wonder if I could find my old skating things. Actually, I wonder if they would be any good after all these years."

"Maybe up in the attic?"

"I don't think so. I was skating mostly before I married your dad, so if my clothes and skates are still around they'd be in Grandma's attic."

"Can we look?"

"Why not. I'll give her a call while you're in school. You're going to be late for the bus if you don't get a move on. If Mom tells me that the stuff is still at her place I'll pick you up after school and we can go visit Grandma."

"Cool. See you after…" I called as I ran out the door.

For the second time that week I was missing in action at school. Mom had her ice skating stuff from when she was my age? Was there any way I could get to wear it? Was I out of my mind? I certainly couldn't ask. But she said I might look cute in a tutu. But I'm a guy. But I want to wear a bra and dress like a girl. But that's not something I want to tell my mother. But what if…

You get the idea. Somehow school just wasn't that important that day. I was practically biting my nails by the afternoon. I had decided that I needed to let them grow so I could have fingernails more like the girls I knew, but after only a few days there wasn't much progress. Biting them wasn't a good idea. When I saw Mom's car in front of the school I reacted like the boy I had been up until the last few days, shouting "YES" and punching the air with my closed fist. That got me a few odd looks, but I just headed for the car and hopped in next to Mom.

"Ready to see what your old Mom looked like when she was your age?" she asked.

"Sure. I bet Sonja Henie wouldn't have looked any better than you, though."

"Save that line for when you want to impress a girlfriend. You don't have to butter me up."

"Please! You know they call me Corn Cobb. That's not what I want to hear."

"Ouch! I would have thought you'd get stuck with Connie being on the small side."

"Sometimes, but not too much."

"Kids can be cruel. They called me Booberly when I was a little younger than you. I suspect you can guess why."

"Jeez Mom! That's gross."

"I bet I can give you the punch line to every dirty joke anyone has told you at school and make a good guess at what nicknames get hung on which kids, especially the girls. Things haven't changed that much since I was young."

"I guess not. But Booberly?"

"I don't want to gross you out, but I had to start wearing a bra when I was nine years old. At least that's not something you'll have to cope with."

If she only knew!

"Uh…" was about all I could come up with.

"If you haven't been noticing the girl's boobs by now I'd be surprised. We did have that talk the other night."

"Who are you and what did you do with my Mom?" I giggled. Yes, giggled. I couldn't help it.

"I put her on one of those space rockets you like so much and sent her to the stars. I'm an alien come to take over planet earth. Just don't tell anyone, OK?"

"Mum's the word, Mom. Think you can fool Grandma? She ought to be able to tell her daughter from a space alien."

"At least I don't look like Gort."

"Klaatu barada nikto"

"Aww darn! Now I can't destroy the earth. You take all the fun out of alien invasion."

"We gotta go see The Day The Earth Stood Still the next time it comes back to the theater."

"I don't know when that will happen, but it would be fun. I always loved that movie."

"More than ice skating?"

"Well, your dad and I could fool around in the back row of the theater during the movie. We couldn't do that in the ice rink."

"Jeez Mom! You tell me about sex and suddenly all you can talk about is sexy stuff when you were a teenager. What gives?"

"You're taking me back to my misspent youth. Don't your friends boast about stuff like that when you think no adults are around?"

"Does that mean you think there aren't any adults around now?"

"Just for that I'm not going to tell you about the time I double dated with my sister. That was before I met your dad. Not that I'm comparing Jimmy to your dad, though."

"Mom! Cut that out!"

"You're cute when you get embarrassed, Con."

"Oh joy! Just what I wanted to hear."

"Since we're here, I guess I'll have to stop."

"Imagine my relief!"

"I don't have to imagine it - it's obvious. Let's go say hi to your grandmother."