Chapter 16 - The Bus Ride

Well-worn patterns of behaviour carried me out of Julie's room, down the stairs and out the door of the dorm, I had done it dozens, no, hundreds of times before. Down the short flight of steps at the entrance and on to the sidewalk. By the time I reached the old oak near the corner of the road I suddenly realized I was walking across the familiar campus in my skirt! Connie was free and out in the world.

"Julie!' I called as I set down my suitcase.

"What?"

"I just realized…"

"What?"

"This is the first time I've gone anywhere without my parents with me!"

"Darling, did you hit your head or something? You've been living on campus for almost three years without your parents."

"No, I mean Connie has never been anywhere without her parents."

"You're kidding?"

"I kid you not. Until I asked my mother to teach me to skate I just sat in my room in a bra and garter belt, I didn't even have a a dress. You could almost say I only lived at the skating rink. Well, that and on vacations, but they were family vacations."

"That's weird."

"You've seen where I grew up. We couldn't let Connie out without a lot of blowback. I never realized what my parents did for me until just now."

"Well, I can say I'm very glad to be marrying into your family. I just hope you think as much of my mom."

"If she's invited Connie to spend the week with you, she must have something going for her - besides you, that is."

"And we had better get something going for us or we'll miss the bus."

"Julie, I've just realized something."

"What are you trying to do, write a new book of revelations today? The way this bus is bouncing nobody could read anything you've written."

"That's just it - I just realize that boobs bounce in buses."

"Nice alliteration. You may have tagged along with your parents most of time, but surely Connie has noticed that her boobs are bouncy before this? I'd figured that out before I filled a B cup."

"Yours come attached to you, so you'd notice. It wasn't until I rode this bus that I figured it all out."

"Too bad you can't attach yours. Then you would really get the full experience. I bet Mom's place is working on it."

"Who knows, someday it might be possible. And why would your mother be thinking abut attaching breasts to men?"

"Women, you dork, not men."

"OK, I'll bite. Why would your mother be working on attaching breasts to women? I thought we had established they come naturally equipped."

"Not if they've had breast cancer."

"Oh. I never thought of that."

"Most people don't like thinking about cancer. Mom works for a medical equipment manufacturer and someone there - probably not a man - realized that there are a lot of women who have had mastectomies and want to at least look like they still have breasts."

"That's sad. I only wish I had breasts, but I think I can think I can understand how they would feel."

"It makes me cringe to think of losing a breast."

"I don't think I should make any comment about that."

"That's probably wise. Mom told some stories about women who have a mastectomy losing their husbands or boyfriends along with their breasts."

"That's… that's despicable! I like your breasts - quite a lot! - but I don't think I'd ever leave you because of anything so trivial. No, that's not the right word. I love you, not your breasts. You would still be the person I love with or without breasts."

"That's nice to know, but don't try to predict the future. It's chump's game, things can change in ways you never expect."

Julie was so very right about that, but neither of us realized it at the time. Just be patient, you'll know why eventually. (That's called foreshadowing in the writing biz. Just thought I'd let you in a little secret.)

"And I love you, with or without breasts. I am looking forward to seeing you with breasts for this week, though."

"So am I. You sure your Mom is OK with this?"

"You could say she is looking forward to seeing you with breasts."

"Far be it from me to say your mother is weird, but…"

"Just wait until you meet her. She raised me, you know. That should give you some idea."

With that, the conversation lapsed and we dozed off for a while, waking when the bus slowed for a pit stop in a small town on our way. We could see a crowd of people waiting to board, so we made sure our things were close to us. The noise level rose as four rowdy boys moved down the aisle and Julie grabbed my hand and whispered in my ear "Oh shit. We could be in trouble."

It took a few seconds for me to grasp her meaning. I may have been out and about as Connie for a long time, but one side effect of always accompanying my parents was I never had to learn how to handle obnoxious boys. Hell, I was probably an obnoxious boy most of the time myself.

This was confirmed when they spotted us and two filled the seat in front of us while the other two filled in behind. I was really nervous with them behind me where I couldn't see what they were doing. The one in front of Julie turned around.

"Where ya goin', dolls?' he asked.

"Stuff it, Romeo." The ice in Julie's voice should have flash frozen a fire demon.

"Ooh, tough bitch, are ya?"

The silly fool didn't know what he was playing with. Remember the circumstances around our first meeting? I had the feeling if Joe Cool's hand ended up anywhere Julie's breast the only reason it would have stayed attached to his wrist was because Julie didn't want bloodstains on her blouse.

"Look asshole, just move along and you might end up keeping your balls somewhere near your puny little cock. Buzz off!"

The jerk started turning red and his buddies were very close to laughter. Not a good situation at all. He made one more effort.

"Then fuck you, bitch. You got something going with your friend, there? Maybe she wants to see what a real man can do for her instead of some lezzie bitch."

"How the hell did your mommy let you out of the house before she made sure your brain hadn't dribbled out your nose and down you chin? Whatever that stuff is on your chin couldn't be a beard, could it? My friend there has a bigger set of balls and knows more about what to do with a cock than you could learn if they ever let you graduate from kindergarten."

As I've told you, my endowment was on the small side before I had it inverted. If they only knew just how much of an insult that was… I tried for my very best sneer.

"From the look of his shirt, if this dork dropped his pants right now the stench would evacuate the entire bus. It looks like romance dies a painful death with convulsions and vomiting when he tries to pick up a girl. Fortunately we're immune as we are women and have much higher standards than any of these little boys."

I was really getting into the fun. By now, the bus driver was glancing back at us frequently. This was a situation that could get ugly, and I was ill prepared to handle any boys hitting on me, let alone these four cretins.

"If any of you others are so hard up as to claim this… specimen… as your friend, you had better take him to the back of the bus right away. It's obvious he is overdue for his nappie and a bottle."

His friends had finally figured out they weren't going to win this one, and with a certain amount of posturing and growling they made for the back of the bus. The driver looked relieved and I could feel the tension draining away.

"Remind me not to do anything to piss you off again. I'm not sure I could survive the encounter," I whispered.

"You're safe. I like your balls and your cock is obviously more talented than anything those guys could come up with."

"Thanks, I think. Right now I'm trying to forget I have a cock."

"I won't let it slip your mind, lover."

The remainder of the trip was pretty quiet.

It only took three hours to reach Julie's home, even if that few minutes of confrontation seemed to last for hours. The guys waited at the back of the bus until we got off There was a couple standing there who were waving happily at the back of the bus, so I figured they were afraid we might talk to the adults. It wasn't worth it, I was much more interested in meeting Julie's mother.

On spotting my fiancee, the woman who must have been her mother started running toward us and they met with one of those dramatic, whirling hugs you see in the movies. I received the same treatment in turn, with an enthusiastic "I'm so thrilled to get to meet you, Connie! You look simply wonderful!"

I was commanded to call her Sandra, or Mom if I wished. Naturally I chose Sandra in an abundance of caution. We retrieved our suitcases and, just for fun, veered close to the four boys and the two adults on our way out. In a very sophisticated and feminine gesture, I stuck my tongue out at the would-be Lothario, but was kind enough to do it behind the parent's backs.

Sandra was the observant sort.

"And just what was that all about, Connie," she inquired. So we gave her a blow-by-blow rendition of the encounter, doing our own version of tag-team wrestling with the story.

"You two are dangerous!" she exclaimed. "I hope they learned their lesson."

"I doubt it," I replied. "I think I was the one who learned the lesson. I didn't grow up having to cope with macho jerks hitting on me."

"I guess you didn't, did you. Even though my daughter assured me you were a very good looking woman, I was worried you would be, well, some Neanderthal in a skirt."

"Mother! She's a perfect lady, that is until I get her in bed. The rules are different there."

"I don't think I need any more details, young woman. Control yourself."

"Sounds like Doug has been out of town too long, eh mother?"

Julie's father had not returned from the Korean War, so she grew up raised by her mother. I had no doubt that she had been raised by a strong woman who didn't take any crap, because Julie had turned out the same way. Doug was the man who had won her heart and had recently proposed to her. Julie was pushing for a summer wedding so we could be there..

"That's none of your business. I won't ask what you two do in bed and I expect you to reciprocate."

"What happens if we don't do it in a bed?"

"Be sure you lock the door before you start, wherever you are."

I was learning where Julie got her ability to fling zingers at short notice.