The Weekly Dormouse. (aka Bike, est. 2007) Part 3237 by Angharad Copyright© 2018 Angharad

Having dropped the offspring at school I moseyed into the office hoping to finish the raft of paperwork that filled much of it but was greeted by Diane who reminded me I was invigilation duties that morning. I had a cuppa while I scooped up a pile of the dead tree remnants and then strolled over to the main hall, which was apparently where I was to do my stint.

Did I tell you I hate invigilation? Well, just in case I didn't, I'm saying it now. I hate invigilation. I didn't count the number of small tables up and down the room but it seemed like hundreds. I mean they had about twenty of them across the width. I counted them, there was twenty-four and at least twenty-five down the length.

Staff were putting out labels on desks. You are allocated a table and you sit there until you finish--which was likely to be before I completed my paperwork--lucky blighters they are. In the middle of the room is a big clock on a table to show everyone how long there is to go. The exam today is three hours so it will show that time. It doesn't run on BST or Greenwich time, it just counts down the three or however many hours the exam lasts.

A group of students hung around talking at each of the doors, a few more minutes and they can be let in. It's too late now to fret or worry, you either know the material or you don't, although the trick is being able to recall it and be able to write it on an exam booklet--we use booklets which have the questions printed in them and sufficient space to answer the questions. There are blank ones for those who need them, but that only happens if someone has very big writing or has to rewrite an essay, as none of them are longer than fifteen hundred words. If they put a line through anything, it won't be marked and if they repeat an answer, the second one won't be marked.

There will be five invigilators today, some we bring in just for that service, but there is always a member of the teaching staff present in case there is some sort of query the contracted staff can't answer, and there usually is. Most of the time it's a typo in a question or a word missing--and these papers are supposed to be proofed before they go to the printers.

We did have one case where the student had a parent who worked at the printers and between them they made quite a few pounds out of selling the papers until we spotted that something was going on and people who shouldn't have passed were doing so. Finally, someone got careless and we discovered the plot. The father lost his job and got a suspended prison sentence for fraud, breach of confidence and theft of intellectual property. The son was sent down and also given a suspended sentence. Since then we do the printing in-house, having bought a large photocopier cum printer which can handle the sort of stuff we do for exams and collate and staple it all together. It's cleverer than one or two undergraduates I've met--mostly business students.

It appeared I was the token teacher on the invigilators. The others settled down and began laying out flasks of coffee and their knitting. I introduced myself to the others and we agreed who would do the walking around and who would sit or stand at the front and watch hawklike over the industrious candidates; talking of which the doors were opened and in they poured all milling around checking for their course and then their own place. We had ten minutes to go before I started the clock countdown. Latecomers were still arriving but basically, most were already seated and itching to start their ordeal and get it over.

I explained how things would happen while the others gave out the exam booklets. No one raised a query and I glanced back at all the bags which had been left behind us at the very front of the hall. Usually, there's one who has forgotten something like a pen or a calculator. That didn't happen today, was it an omen or would there be someone yet who discovered that they needed a ruler or coloured pencils.

I started the clock and told them to start their papers by turning them over and not to forget to write their ID number and course number on the paper. It was printed on the slip of paper on each table. It went very quiet for a short time as they read through the booklets.

We have a protocol in our department for doing exams. Once you've identified your paper, you read through it at least once. You go through the wording of the questions and underline any verbs like describe or explain or calculate. That at least makes sure you have understood what they want you to do and saves time as well as helping to prevent a misreading of the instruction. Then we suggest doing the questions you can answer easily, leaving the others until afterwards because sometimes once you have settled down and the adrenaline has ceased flowing, you may remember more about your weaker questions than you at first thought. The advice is always to write something because that way the marker may find one or two marks for you. If you write nothing, that will be the mark you receive.

Two hours into the exam after I'd had a wander up and down the ranks of scribbling young adults and one or two more mature types, I sat down to do some more paperwork when Diane arrived with a cuppa and a biscuit, the tea being brought in one of those travel cups. It was hot and I thanked her for her hospitality, then asked her to sit in for a moment while I nipped out to the loo--well she'd caused the need earlier.

When I returned we had a situation, as they say. Someone was having a fit, a proper grand mal. I rushed to assist. Poor girl had slipped off her chair and was writhing on the ground much to the consternation of the other students and we staff. There was blood frothing from her mouth and I suspected she'd bitten her tongue, hopefully not too badly. Then she lay still and someone helped her to sit up, whereupon she was sick. I sent Diane off to get some of the cleaning staff to come and sort it.

A university student health nurse arrived and assessed her patient who was by now able to stand and walk on unsteady legs back with her to the clinic. I removed her paper and wrote a note on it. She would be given another chance to sit the exam as her retirement from the exam was not of her choosing or fault--medical emergencies happen.

The spot was cleaned very efficiently by a couple of the janitors and things calmed down. We estimated the disruption had taken ten minutes. I therefore announced we would add ten minutes to the exam time which was received with several groans. The gratitude of the young sometimes is overwhelming.

How went your day?