A Girl Park Christmas
by Melanie Brown
Copyright  © 2017 Melanie Brown

An old man finds his dream at Girl Park.
 

December 2017 Christmas Dreams Story Contest Entry

You don't need to have read Girl Park, but it helps -- Ed
 

 

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I rolled my wheelchair out the front door of the Sunset Rehab Center and Nursing Home to the large covered area to wait for Beth, a fellow inmate… I mean resident at the center, to join me for our morning outing to the park and back. For mid-December it was a fairly nice day. Overcast and the temperature hovering around the high sixties. A light jacket was all I needed against the weather. A definite benefit from living in south Texas.

I frowned looking down at what was left of my right leg which I lost last summer due to diabetes. I wasn’t a candidate for a prosthetic so I was wheelchair bound most of the time.

“There you are!” exclaimed a pleasant woman’s voice. “I figured you were out here when you weren’t in your room.”

I looked up and smiled at Beth as she came around the wheelchair to greet me. “Good morning, Beth. It was just too nice out to wait inside.”

Beth laughed. “I hear ya, Sonny. Are you ready for our morning constitutional?”

I pointed down the sidewalk. “Make it so!”

It wasn’t far to the park. But it still made for a nice outing. The park contained numerous concrete walkways that meandered around with most bringing you to the large pond in the center. Beth pushed me along in silence until we were almost to the park.

“Well you’re being quiet this morning,” observed Beth. “Usually we’ve tackled several of the world’s problems by now.”

I shrugged. “Just a lot on my mind today.”

Beth continued to push. “Have you heard from the kids? Are they coming down to visit you this Christmas?”

I shook my head. “Nah. I wish they were though. I love seeing those grandkids. But Kent’s agreed with Steph to go to her family this year. I can understand why. Her folks still live at their home, they have a big Christmas tree every year, and make a big turkey dinner. Even her father can still go out and play catch with the grandkids.”

“Does that make you angry?” asked Beth as we neared the park.

“No. Not really. Not that,” I said with a catch in my throat. “I just wanted to spend one more Christmas with family.”

Beth stopped pushing the wheelchair. “What do you mean, Sonny?”

I paused for a long time. I didn’t want to say the words as if there’s no truth to them if I don’t say them. I took a deep breath. “Beth, I’ve been diagnosed with inoperable cancer.”

Beth rushed around from behind the wheelchair. “Oh my God! Sonny! I’m so very sorry.” She knelt next to the wheelchair and took my hand and kissed it. “Oh God, Sonny!”

I patted her hand with my free one. “It’s not like I’m going to keel over tomorrow. But I have at most six months. Probably less. Definitely won’t make it to my next birthday, much less next Christmas”

Beth continued to kneel next to me and looked earnestly into my face. “I am very sorry about this. It’s just awful. I lost my brother to cancer. I hate it. Have you told Kent?”

I shook my head. “I didn’t want to put a downer on their Christmas. Like I said. I have some time.”

Beth composed herself and stood up and started to push the wheelchair again, but not as briskly as before. “So, what are you going to do?”

I shrugged again. “I have no idea. I gave my doc a DNR order. No heroics. And as far as what I’m going to do with the time I have left, I have no idea. So many dreams lost. So many regrets.”

Beth stopped under a large tree to shield us from a sudden light rain. There was a bench, so she sat down next to me. “Regrets? What kind of regrets? Seems to me you really have had a full life. A wife and kids, a job you loved, then your own business for a while. Two tours in the war. Rock climber, white river rafting just to name a few!”

I shook my head. “Do you have any idea why I signed up for two tours in that war? Or why I took up dangerous hobbies?”

“Excitement?” suggested Beth.

I sighed. “I kept hoping I’d die.”

Beth leaned back from and gave me a long stare. “Die? What do you mean?”

I waved my arms for emphasis. “Die. You know. As in dead.”

Beth gave me an incredulous look. “But why?”

I turned from her and studied my hands. “It’s because of my biggest regret.” I looked over at Beth. “I don’t know if I could ever bring myself to tell you.”

Beth smirked at me. “Sonny. After that bombshell you just landed on me, I doubt there’s anything else you could say that would shock me.”

I took a deep breath and sighed heavily. I looked Beth straight in her eyes and stripped my soul raw. “I wish I had been a woman. No seriously. As far back as I can remember, back to at least four or five, I’ve felt I should be a girl. It’s my greatest wish. You’re the first person I’ve ever told that to.”

Beth leaned back and pressed her fingers against her lips. “My God. Sonny. This is going to take a moment to digest. Although, it does explain some things.”

“Oh?”

She nodded. “Small things. Like how you always seem to hang with the women at the center instead of sitting with the guys watching football. Some of your mannerisms. Just small things that individually you don’t really notice.”

Staring at my hands, I said, “Now you know my most closely guarded secret. My biggest regret.” I grunted a laugh. “You know, when I was a kid they were just starting programs for transgendered kids. But I was too afraid. I didn’t want to disappoint my dad. After high school, I didn’t care if I lived or died.”

Beth looked at me earnestly. “If you hadn’t lived, you wouldn’t have had those beautiful children.”

I frowned. “If I had become a girl, they wouldn’t be here either. That’s sad to think now, but they just wouldn’t have been born.”

Beth stood up, rubbing her hands together. “We should get back. The wind has kicked up and it’s cold.”

We passed a guy dressed as Santa Claus who had set up on a corner and was ringing a bell.

I pointed at him and said, “I have a request for Santa.”

I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell Beth smiled. “What would that be?”

“I think it’s outside his ability, but I what I want for Christmas is to have been born a girl. I always wished I could have gotten a Barbie doll.”

*          *          *

The staff had gotten me up at Oh-dark-thirty. On Christmas morning of all things. They got me dressed and fed me a quick breakfast. I was told I’d have to wait whenever I ask what the hell was going on. I griped I was going to miss the turkey and pumpkin pie they serve at the center on Christmas.

And that included Beth when she came to get me and push me outside to the curb where there was a waiting Uber. I was taken to the mag-lev station and Beth pushed my wheelchair into the small train. She told me to go back to sleep when I kept pestering her about where we were going. A short time later, our small train connected to a larger train and our speed kicked up to max…which was actually faster than a commercial airliner could fly.

After a half an hour of watching scenery race by, we finally pulled into a debarking station in Houston. The pink fairy castle station that is the entrance to Girl Park.

As Beth pushed my wheelchair towards the entrance, I said, “You’re shitting me.”

Beth laughed. “I shit you not, Sonny. This is your Christmas present.”

I tried to look back at her. “What are you talking about?”

Beth sighed. “I took up a collection at the center; residents and staff alike to pay for a visit here. After what you told me a couple of weeks ago, I thought you enjoy it.”

I shook my head. “This is crazy. And look at that line. And it’s still dark out!”

A woman, smartly dressed in the park’s uniform walked up to us. She bent down towards me and asked, “Mr. Morris? Please follow me to the VIP entrance.”

Surprised, I said, “VIP? This is a place for girls. Young girls. Not old men like me.”

The woman leading us smiled and turned back towards me. “Girl Park is for everyone; young, old, male, or female. To live out your fondest dreams.”

Beth leaned in close to my ear and whispered, “I got you the super package. I’ll share a few experiences with you, but it’s your Christmas.”

We rolled past the long lines of girls, women and a few boys all waiting in the long line. A door opened and Beth pushed me inside. The light was dim and there were only a few people in the room with us.

Beth stopped pushing me forward when the woman stopped walking. She turned to face us and with a pleasant smile said, “This is where your dreams start, Mr. Morris. Cindy will take care of you from here on. Have a great day at Girl Park and Merry Christmas!” She walked out of the room.

“Good morning Mr. Morris!” said Cindy cheerfully. “We’ll take you from here. We have a staff trained especially to help handicapped individuals get prepared for their Girl Park adventure.” Three men in lab coats approached and started to wheel me off to another room.

I heard Cindy as she addressed Beth. “Ma’am, if you will please follow me? We’ll get you prepared as well.”

I was pushed into a small, brightly lit room with a single bed in the center. The three men helped me onto the bed and proceeded to undress me. I was surprised when they then put a bra and panty set on along with a skull cap.

One of the men said, “Sorry sir. But the simulations won’t run unless you’re wearing these items.” I nodded.

A single restraint was run across my waist and the light dimmed. The man who spoke said again as the three men left the room, “Enjoy your Girl Park adventure!”

*          *          *

I sat on the carpeted floor in my pink footie jammies amid shreds of Christmas wrapping paper. I looked around. My sister Beth who was two years older than me also sat on the floor near the tree. She was being “Santa” this time around. Dad was in his recliner with his ever present video camera to his eye and Mom already looking tired on her second cup of coffee. The TV was playing Christmas music.

It was all just so exciting!

Beth thrust a brightly colored package with a reindeer print at me. “Open it! Open it!” she squealed. “It’s from me!” Mom or Dad probably bought it, but I was much too young to be cynical yet.

I giggled as I took the package and shook it.

“It’s not a bomb!” exclaimed Beth.

“Beth! Be nice!” admonished Mom.

“Hurry up and open it,” said Dad holding the camera to his eye.

The neatly wrapped paper was quickly reduced to shreds. I squealed as I held up the box for all to see. “It’s a Barbie! Just what I wanted!”

“Now you can leave mine alone,” said Beth with a look of relief.

I leaned over and gave Beth a bear hug. “You’re the bestest sister ever!”

Laughing, Beth reached under the tree. “Let’s see what else is under here!”

After breakfast, Beth smiled at me and waved as the concept of having a sister faded from my mind.

*          *          *

“Hold still Melody!” said Beth as she slid the eyeliner brush along my lash line. “I’m afraid I got this a little wiggly as it is.” Beth was giving me a make-over at Suzie’s pajama party. I’m sure the ten of us were driving Suzie’s mother crazy.

This was my first pajama party and I was pretty excited. I wasn’t close friends with Suzie, but Beth was. We were all in the eighth grade and I knew all of the girls here. It was difficult to walk through Suzie’s living room with all the bed rolls scattered about. There were girls lying on the floor in front of the TV watching a movie, some were sitting on the couch texting on their phones, others were paired off either getting or giving a make-over or trying out hair styles or doing their nails. And it was noisy with laughing, talking, squealing, and giggling.

Suzie rolled over on her bedroll and with her head upside down, looked at me. “Hey Melody. I heard you have a crush on Brad!”

I looked over at her. “Everyone has a crush on Brad.”

“I heard you asked Shane to swap lab partners in Science class so you could be with Brad,” grinned Suzie.

“That’s not what happened at all!” I protested. “Shane wanted to swap with me so he could have Stephanie as a lab partner.” I don’t have to admit to suggesting that swap to Shane though.

“I swear to God I’m going to stab you in the eye with this mascara brush if you don’t hold still,” complained Beth.

Suzie grinned, “Brad is a hottie. He’s gorgeous with a capital G. If you don’t want him, I’ll take him.”

“I didn’t say I didn’t want him!” I exclaimed.

Suzie tossed a pillow at me. “I want him!”

I tossed the pillow back shouting, “He’s mine!”

Beth sighed. “I give up.”

Suzie and I both laughed as we started hitting each other with pillows.

After things settled down and it got late, we turned the lights off and watched a very scary horror movie. I was hugging my pillow through the whole movie and screaming at the jump scares. I’m sure Suzie’s parents didn’t get any sleep.

The next morning as I pulled my frozen bra from the freezer I learned why you shouldn’t ever be the first one to fall asleep at a slumber party.

*          *          *

“Hey girl!” I felt a finger poke my shoulder from behind. I turned to see Beth grinning at me.

I grinned back. “Hey Beth.”

We started walking through the crowded hall together at Partridge High School. I had to get all the way to the other side of the school. It was so noisy I almost couldn’t hear the bells on my shoes.

“Just real quick,” said Beth. “How did you like your first pep rally?”

Today was my first pep rally as a cheerleader. We get to wear our uniforms all day and of course there’s the game later tonight.

I laughed. “I was so scared at first, running out there in front of the whole school. But as we did our cheers I started to really get into it. By the time we did our skit, all my nervousness was gone.”

Beth smiled. “I’m glad you enjoyed it. You’ve been wanting this for so long. I was worried last night when you freaked out about having to be in front of so many people. Hey, I gotta jet. See you at lunch.” And she peeled off at the next intersection and disappeared into the crowd.

Last night I had called her, all freaked out about having everyone in the school watching me. I feel ashamed now about being scared the night before the pep rally. But Beth talked me through it and helped me calm down. I’m so lucky to have her as my BFF.

I sat down at the lunch table with my salad and milk on the tray. Beth, Suzie and few of our other friends were already there. Suzie was also a cheerleader. It was her second year doing it.

“Hey guys,” I said as I sat down next to Beth.

Suzie leaned across Beth with her hand up for a high five. “Good job this morning, Melody. You seemed nervous at first, but it didn’t seem to last long.”

I nodded. “I was totally nervous at first. But oh man! I wish I had tried out last year.”

Suzie laughed. “I told you!”

I suddenly felt a pair of hands on my shoulders and everyone at the table looked in my direction. “Hey guys,” said Brad from behind me.

I reached up and felt Brad’s hand. Brad continued, “I just wanted to check with you guys to see if anyone wanted to meet up at Taco Bell after the game tonight?”

“I’ll be there,” I said.

Brad laughed, “You better be!”

Beth pointed to herself and Suzie. “We’ll be there for sure.”

Brad squeezed my shoulders. “Great. See you at the game.” He let go of my shoulders and walked away.

Suzie shook her head as Brad walked away. “God, he’s a hottie.”

I took a bite of my salad. “He’s my hottie.”

Suzie laughed. “So I’ve heard.”

Much later in the day, it was still hot out being only the first week of September. It would still be a couple of hours before the sun set. Still, it was a gorgeous afternoon. The sky was filled with white puffy clouds that threatened shade rather than rain.

I jumped from the bus; the last cheerleader off. Everyone was making sure they had their pom-poms and adjusting their hair bows. The football players were already heading down to the locker room, so I missed my chance to see Brad before the game started. Then the band buses pulled up next to us.

“Okay girls. Let’s get down to the field!” shouted Coach McAllister. “We don’t have all day.”

We gathered up and followed the coach down the steps to the field. When we got to the field, I looked up at the stands that were just starting to fill. I pivoted in a circle looking up. I’ve always wondered what it was like to be here instead of up in the stands. I was finally here. It felt amazing.

Coach McAlister said in a loud voice to be heard over the general ruckus, “Okay girls. Let’s get in some last minute practice.”

An hour later and I was bubbling over with excitement. The stands were filled and the band had finished playing the national anthem and the school song and had gathered at the end of the field. I was on the field holding one of the poles where a paper was stretched with our team name written on it so the players could run through. Cheerleaders, the dance team and the rest of the cheer squad created a path for the players to run through.

As the players first broke through the paper, the pole was almost pulled from my hands. We held the poles up until all the players had passed between them. We then quickly lowered the poles and gathered any strips of paper. We left the field as fast as possible.

As the game started, we walked down in front of the stands on our side of the stadium. Looking up at all those people on the stands as we jumped and yelled for our team, I wasn’t nervous at all. I love it. I absolutely loved it.

I have to admit that I never really paid much attention to our games. I’ve only been to a few, and then when Beth talked me into it. And now, even if I wasn’t a cheerleader, I’d probably start coming to the games since I’m dating Brad. He’s not the team captain, but he’s quickly gaining that MVP title.

But now I yell and scream every time our team does something good. I enjoy it when we cheer and wave our pom-poms in sync with the short pieces the band plays to rally our team. And I was just full of pride when Brad made the final score, breaking the tie and leading our team to victory! That is one moment I will never forget.

After the game and while we were riding the buses back to school, Suzie, who was sitting next to me asked, “Well, rookie. What did you think?”

I grinned wide. “That was totally massive! It was so much fun! I’m so very glad I tried out for the squad.”

Suzie gave me a thumbs up. “Me too. I figured you’d love it.”

After we got back to school, I waited around for Brad to pick me up. We drove over to Taco Bell and sat at the corner table where we’d have more room. Not long after we got there, others drifted in.

After bringing our burritos, Brad sat down with his arm around my shoulder. Suzie was sitting next to her boyfriend as were a couple of other cheerleaders. I looked around but didn’t see Beth anywhere. We all laughed and chatted. Brad would kiss my neck and cheek and play with my hair.

I looked up and saw the door open. Beth walked slowly into the restaurant. She walked up to the table and stopped. I patted the seat next to me. “I saved you a spot, Beth! Sit down.”

Beth just stood there and shook her head. “Sorry, girlfriend. I can’t stay. Can I get a hug?”

Puzzled, I eased past Brad and stepped up to Beth. I gave her a girly hug, but she pulled me close to her. She then held me at arm’s length. She had a tear in her eye.

“Just look at you,” Beth said seriously. “You’re beautiful. You’re so happy. You have a cute little hottie for a boyfriend. This is you, girl. This is all you. Never stop being girly. Take care.” She turned and walked back towards the door.

Feeling odd, I said, “You too, Beth. See you in school.” I never saw her again.

As I scooted past Brad, he looked up at me. “What was that about?”

I shrugged. “Beats me.”

Brad leaned over and kissed me.

Brad walked me to my front door. He ran his fingers down the side of my face. “You’re so beautiful. I feel so lucky to have you.” He slid an arm around my waist and pulled me towards him. I looked up into those dreamy blue eyes of his. He bent his head down and kissed me. It was a long, smoldering, deliciously hot kiss. Our tongues met. I put my arms around his neck and closed my eyes as we pulled each other closer.

I’m not sure how long we kissed on my porch. It seemed both forever and just for an instant. I lay my head on his shoulder and tried to catch my breath. I fell in love with Brad at that moment. Truly in love.

Into Brad’s ear, I said in a breathy whisper, “I love you, Brad.”

*          *          *

“Hey baby.”

“Hey babe,” said Brad’s voice over the phone. “Is everything okay? It’s kinda late.”

I sighed. “I just miss you, baby. You’re so far away.” Brad was away at University trying to earn his degree in aerospace engineering. I was still living at home, going to the local college to get a degree in Art.

“I miss you too, honey,” said Brad sincerely. “God, I miss you so much. I’ll be home for Thanksgiving.”

Even though he couldn’t see it, I smiled. “I’m happy to hear that. I can’t wait to hold you in my arms.”

Brad said, “Same here. But hey, I have to study for a big test tomorrow. I’ll call you tomorrow night, okay?”

“Sure, Brad. I love you.”

“Love you too, babe.”

*          *          *

“Don’t be so nervous, Melody!”

“That’s easy for you to say, Mom. You’re not getting married,” I said, feeling terrified.

Mom kept making small adjustments to my wedding dress. “I believe I had a wedding day myself.” She grinned at me.

“Hold still,” said Suzie as she tried to touch up my make-up.

Frustrating Suzie, I turned to look at Mom. “Am I making the right decision?”

“Only you can answer that, Honey,” Mom said seriously. “You’ve asked this before. Look into your heart.”

“I love him, Mom. More than anything. He’s so wonderful to me,” I started to babble.

“Hold still,” frowned Suzie.

Mom folded her arms. “You love him. He loves you. That’s pretty much all that matters.”

Suzie finished checking my make-up. “And that sweet job he just landed designing hyper-sonic aircraft doesn’t hurt either.”

My aunt stuck her head in the door. “Is the bride ready? Everything is set.”

Mom said, “I better go sit down. You’re a beautiful bride, my dear. Absolutely beautiful.”

Suzie patted my back. “You’ll be fine, girl.” She left to get seated.

I stood alone by the door watching the usher. A zillion thoughts ran through my head. How Brad and I met. Cheerleading in high school. How I almost set the college on fire when I caused a kiln to explode. Where was Beth? I hadn’t seen her since that night at Taco Bell. She should be here! I never would have met Brad without her.

The usher motioned for me to come forward. My dad was standing next to the usher. This is it, girl. The moment of truth. The moment you have dreamed about ever since you were a little… a little girl. Talk about a Maalox moment…

I stepped out and smiled nervously at Dad. He smiled back and winked at me. He put his arm out and I took it. I was so scared. Not of Brad. It was the finality of getting married. I’m giving myself to one man. How can I be sure? You can’t, I told myself. Nobody can. You take your best option. And quite frankly, I was so damned lucky to have Brad. So loving. So kind. And so hunky. I smiled. The organist began playing the wedding march.

Dad and I stepped through the flowered arch on our long trek down the aisle. It didn’t look this long when we rehearsed. Brad was standing on the dais next to the preacher. His little brother standing next to him with the ring resting on a pillow. His friend Jack standing next to him as the Best Man. And so many people sitting in the pews, watching me walk down the aisle. Do I even know some of these people?

Suzie, my Maid of Honor, stood there trying not to cry. Her little sister standing in front of her as the ring girl. Suzie became my BFF after Beth walked out of my life. And she was the best friend ever. I never would have become a cheerleader without her. She had stayed with me to comfort me when I had thought Brad had cheated on me. She has one of my paintings I did in college hanging in her living room. I keep telling her she should hang a cover over it.

Dad and I stopped just before the dais. The preacher turned to face us and smiled.

The preacher raised his arms. “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here in the sight of God and the presence of family and friends to join together this man and this woman in Holy Matrimony…”

I was too nervous. I hoped I wasn’t shaking. Dad patted my hand as I held his arm. I looked up at Brad, looking absolutely gorgeous in his rented tux.

The preacher continued, “Who gives this woman to this man in marriage?”

Dad, fighting back tears said, “Her mother and I do.” We stepped up onto the dais and Dad placed my hand in Brad’s. He turned to sit down next to Mom. Both were on the verge of becoming blubbering fools. Me too.

I was too nervous to listen to the preacher. I was worried about fainting or tripping or throwing up. It took a moment to realize everyone was staring at me. Brad looked at me worriedly.

With an embarrassed smile, I whispered, “Sorry.” I let Brad take my hand.

As he slid the ring onto my finger, Brad repeated the vows from the preacher, “I Bradley Slovensky take you, Melody for my wedded wife, to love and cherish, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer and in sickness and in health from this day forward.”

Suzie’s little sister lifted the pillow holding the ring and I plucked it from the pillow, smiling at the little girl. I turned to Brad and took his hand. I repeated the vows.

The preacher clasped both our hands and said for both of us to repeat his words. I looked deeply into Brad’s eyes as he looked into mine as we both said, “With this ring, I thee wed.”

The preacher said, “By the power invested in me by God and the state of Texas, I now pronounce you husband and wife.” He looked over at Brad. “You may kiss the bride.”

Brad smiled at me as he lifted my veil. “I love you baby” I closed my eyes as he placed his lips caressingly against mine. This was the happiest moment of my life.

*          *          *

“Brad. Why do all these envelops have dates on them,” I asked as I sat down at the computer to pay the bills.

Brad looked up from the TV. “I’m just trying to help since you wanted to be the one to pay the bills. I prioritized them for you.”

I turned to look over at him. “You don’t think I’m capable of paying the bills?”

“It’s not that, honey,” said Brad as he started to look a little pissed. “It’s just that if we have four hundred and one dollar in our bank account and four hundred dollars in bills, you’re like, ‘oh! we can pay all the bills!’ and then we have no money until payday. Not all the bills have to be paid at once.”

I folded my arms. “Do you want to pay the bills? I thought I was helping. Although making you dinner and doing your laundry and cleaning up after you should be helping enough.”

Brad stood up. “I’m not saying you can’t pay the bills. I just want them paid correctly.”

I stood up, almost knocking my chair over. “Fine! You do the bills from now on. Heaven forbid they’re not done *correctly*. Oh, and if you want dinner, there’s some frozen mystery meat in the freezer.” I ran to our bedroom crying and slammed the door.

*          *          *

“Push. Push, mom. And don’t forget to breathe.”

“Push, honey,” said Brad who was standing next to me.

I turned to him and through gritted teeth I hissed, “You shut up. You did this to me! Don’t talk to me!”

The nurse looked over at Brad and gave him a knowing look.

The doc took a look between my legs. Five centimeters. We’re getting there. Keep pushing.”

Breathing hard, I asked to no one in particular, “How do people do this without an epidural?” I moaned.

The nurse said, “You’re doing fine, mom. Keep pushing.” I wanted to push her.

Finally I felt relief as the doctor pulled the baby out of me. He held it up for Brad. “Congratulations, dad. You have a fine, healthy boy.”

Excitedly, Brad said to me, “Did you hear that Melody? We have a boy!”

“Let me see him!” I said feeling dog tired.

“They’re cleaning him up. I can’t wait to have another one!” Brad said cheerfully.

I scowled at Brad. “Unless you’re planning on getting pregnant, that’s the only one.”

*          *          *

I couldn’t believe our first one was already old enough for school. Brad was helping little Michael get dressed. I picked up baby Jon to put him into his swing.

Brad stood up. “Let me help you with that.”

I laughed. “I’m pregnant, not helpless.”

Brad took Jon from me and settled him into the swing. “Remember the doc said to avoid any extra strain.”

I just shook my head. Unlike the other two, I let them tell me what I was having after they did the ultrasound. This one was going to be a girl. This was definitely going to be the last one. After she’s born, I’m getting my tubes tied.

*          *          *

“Don’t cry, Mom.” Michael put his arm around me as I gave him a hug.

Not holding back the tears, I cried, “I can’t believe my baby is all grown up! Look at you! A high school graduate!”

Brad laughed. “Yes. Congratulations son for completing the easiest part of your life.”

Looking bored, Jon said, “Can we go home now?”

Michael laughed at Brad. “Dad. Your jokes are always so lame. Anyway, I’m going with Scott to the after graduation party.”

Brad said, “Be careful, buddy.”

Michael nodded. “They lock the doors so we don’t get stupid out on the streets tonight. See you in the morning, Mom, Dad.

As Michael ran off to join his friend, I turned to Brad. “I feel old, Dad.”

Brad nodded with a frown as he watched our son walk away. “You and me both, honey. You and me both.”

“Can we go home now?”

*          *          *

I dropped the phone onto the bed, the voice on the other end still talking. Brad sat up, a look of alarm on this face as he looked at me.

“Honey. What’s wrong?”

I picked up the receiver to hand it to Brad. I was starting to shake. “That’s the police. Jon’s been in a terrible accident. He’s dead! He was hit by a fucking drunk! Brad! Our Jon is dead…” My voice trailed away into heaving sobs. I wanted to scream. My cries locked in my throat.

I heard Brad cry as he picked up the receiver and talked to the police. “Oh my God. Oh my God…”

*          *          *

Brad and I were holding hands as we walked slowly back to our car from the air terminal.

“She’s gone, Dad. We have an empty nest now.”

Brad chuckled. “She’s just going off to college. If not for Thanksgiving, she’ll be back for Christmas for sure.”

I had named our daughter Beth, after my old best friend who disappeared. It’s an old fashioned name these days, but I liked it.

I sighed. “I wish Michael could make it home for Christmas this year.”

Brad nodded. “It’s tough. Newly married and a baby on the way.”

“I know,” I said looking down at my feet. We reached our car. I leaned over and kissed Brad. “I love you, Mr. Slovensky.”

Brad grinned and pulled me closer to him. He gave me a long, passionate kiss, right there in the parking lot. “I love you too, Mrs. Slovensky.”

*          *          *

“It’s a Barbie!” squealed Nichole. She was all of five now and Michael’s oldest child.

Michael had his camera to his face, recording every second of Christmas morning.

Brad was sitting on the floor next to Jamie, Michael’s toddler son. Brad was playing Santa this year. Most of the presents under the tree were for Nikki or Jamie. Brad dug around for a bit until he pulled out one package. He handed it to me.

“For me?” I said with a grin. “I thought you were done with me.” I remember getting excited to receive a Barbie doll. Or later when Brad surprised me with that gorgeous earring and necklace set. I tore the wrapping paper off and extracted a maroon sweater. I held it up and said, “I’ve been needing one of these.” I looked at the tag which I should have looked at before pulling the wrapper off. “Thanks Mike. I need to stay warm on these cold nights.”

Brad feigned anger. “Hey! What about me? Don’t I keep you warm?”

I laughed. “Like I said. I needed this sweater!”

We’ve had a tradition on Christmas morning for breakfast going all the way back to when I was a little girl. Mike’s wife helped me make breakfast that morning. She seems like a nice girl. But I still can’t help but think Michael could have done better. But I’m not going to tell him that.

As Michael took a bite of scrambled eggs, he said, “I wish Beth could have made it home this year. Just not Christmas without her.”

I said, “She said maybe next year.”

Brad said, “I know it’s Christmas. I saw Hans Gruber fall from the Nakatomi Tower!”

Michael just rolled his eyes.

*          *          *

Brad and I sat quietly on the couch. The dark room lit only by the blinking Christmas lights. Mike and Beth had both been here for Christmas. It may have been the last time we are all together for the holidays. Michael’s and Beth’s kids have gotten so big. Nikki’s in high school now.

Brad was holding my hand as he just sat there, staring at the tree and lost in his own thoughts. I looked at our hands and shook my head. So old and wrinkly now. Skin so thin now that it gets cut easily. Where has all the time gone? The kids grown with their own lives to live. A pang of sadness hit my heart as I wondered how Jon would have grown up? Who would he have married. What would his kids have been like? I torture myself every Christmas with these thoughts.

I looked over at Brad. The love of my life. That first kiss of his seems so long ago and yet my lips still feel it. My eyes teared up.

“I love you, Brad,” I said, my heart still filled with love.

“Ehh?!” coughed Brad as he turned to look at me.

I raised my voice a bit. “I love you!”

Brad smiled, a twinkle in his eye. “I love you too, honeybunch.” He leaned over and kissed me.

*          *          *

I was curled up balling when the Girl Park medical staff came in to check me out and get me ready to return to the center. Beth was waiting for me in the lobby as they wheeled me out.

I took Beth’s hand and kissed it. “Thank you. Thank you so much. I lived a whole life as a woman in there. A whole life! That’s the most wonderful Christmas present I’ve ever received.”

Beth said, “I have one more. I was going to give it to you later, but…” her voice trailed away as she handed me a wrapped present. She smiled at me.

I slowly tore the wrapping paper. I pulled out a Barbie doll. I cried again.

Beth said, “Let’s go home.”

*          *          *

The End