Let the right one in

This story is inspired by a Swedish film from 2008 called “’let the right one in”

I ran as fast as my two legs could take me through the small woods. The 4 boys were gaining on me as my heart was beating faster and faster. Running through the snow made it all the harder. They were shouting at me to run home to my mom. They shouted not to wet my panties. They shouted to cut my hair. They called me a sissy. They did all this as I ran and ran, stumbled and picked myself to run further. I knew if they caught me, it would end in pain and humiliation.

As I ran, I saw a girl my age standing beside a tree. I never saw her before. I stumbled over branches and heard the boys catching up again. I got to my knees and looked again at the girl. She was not there. She must have run.

I finally made it to my flat. I was tired and walked into my room and shut the door. I looked in a mirror on the wall and seen a sad boy looking back. This sad boy was of course me. Running home from bullies was a daily occurrence. I did not understand how 11-year-olds could be so mean to each other. I looked in the mirror again as I knew I was a good person… so why be bullied? My hair was long, my cheeks were red and I had long eyelashes. I always had a problem when people saw me; they thought I was a girl. They even laughed when I told them if I was a boy.

I continued looking in the mirror. Why did they want to beat me up because I looked this way? I was a nice person. I never wanted people to be sad. I just wanted people to be friends. I was only 11 and I was so afraid for my life.

I heard mom come through the door. I had no dad as he left as soon as he saw me. Mom dated someone, but I did not know who. Mom was the best mom in the world. She was often tired as she had to work a lot. She was one of those moms that wanted the best for me. She was more like a best friend than a mom. The only time she showed herself as a mom was when she saw that I was hurt, and tonight was no different. She started asking was I bullied again. Did I have to run home from school? I looked down making a landscape with my fork in the mashed potatoes and didn’t answer it. She was definitely in her mom mode as she kept on asking. I told her that I did not want to talk about it. Then came the familiar speech that I was a unique boy that I was a special angel that God has created.

All this could be true, but it did not stop the boys from running after me. I told mom I was going outside. Mom was still in her mom mode as she told me to remember my coat as there was still snow.

I sat on a swing looking up at the stars. I loved it at night sitting outside. No one would bother me and everything was so peaceful. The stars were my friends!

As I was deep in thought, I was brought back to reality when I heard someone say hello. Was someone saying hello to me? It was the girl I saw earlier sitting on a swing next to me. She had short hair that was combed to the side: She was wearing football (soccer) clothes… this meant that she was wearing shorts and short sleeves. I asked her was she not cold?

“I never feel cold” She answered and asked why I was being chased.
“Some boys at school don’t like the way I look” I whispered
“Is it because you look like a girl?”

I got off the swing and went to a picnic table. I came out in the dark at night to be with the stars and not to remind myself how I looked. She had to remind me of it. I felt tears coming down my cheeks. As I was feeling sorry for myself, I could see that she appeared suddenly beside me. She told me she was sorry if she offended me. I looked at her and she smiled as she wiped a tear from my cheek. She said we were alike. I get teased because I look l look like a girl and everyone thought she looked like a boy. The tears stopped as I realized she was just like me in a way.

My thoughts were disrupted by mom calling me in. I said I was coming. The girl asked me if I wanted to be her friend. No one ever asked me this so I shouted back to her of course!

I forgot to ask her name.

My mom was happy I was smiling and asked me why I was talking with myself. I asked did she not see the girl. Mom said there was no girl outside. It must too dark to see her, I thought.

The next day was the same after school. I started running home with 3 bullies after me. I didn’t have time to notice that one was missing. Just as I was about to get out of the small woods, I noticed the last bully standing there. He held me while the others started calling me a sissy and gay.
They teased why I did not get my hair cut? Then the oldest boy called David told his fellow bullies to listen to him. He smiled at me and said there was a reason I had long hair, such a fragile body and angels face. He told his friends that I was really a girl. I whispered no, but he was not done. He told me to take off my clothes and prove that I was a boy. I started crying and pleaded to let me just go home. David laughed as he hit me on the shoulder knocking me down. I got up and slowly took off my clothes while at the end standing in panty style briefs. They could clearly see a little bulge in them. They all laughed, as they walked away with my clothes. I begged them for my clothes, but they just laughed.

I sneaked home just in briefs and hoped no one would see me. When my mom saw me, she was worried and asked me where my clothes were. I walked into my room and said I did not want to talk about it. I could hear mom was mad outside. She was now mad asking where the bullies parents were, and where they proud of her children. Then she went on about that I was different and this made me special. I hate when she called me special.

I noticed a bag on my bed. I opened it and it was a bunch of things for my hair. They were ribbons, hair elastics, clips that were butterflies and a hairband with a flower on top of them. They were all girl things. I asked mom did she put them there. Mum said she has no money to buy me surprises and continued being mad at the bullies. I sat on my bed and looked at them. They were pretty, but why should I use them?

After supper, the doorbell rang. It was a policeman. He asked if he could come in and was offered a cup of tea. He wanted to speak with me. I sat wondering what happened. He told me that a boy from my class was in the hospital. He told me one of the bullies was in the hospital. He was home and was alone, but fell down the stairs. The boy was now awake and told the police he was pushed down the stairs by someone. This shocked me and I actually felt sorry for him. I know what he did to me was bad, but two wrongs do not make a good.

The police were happy that I knew nothing about it and went on his way.

Later I went out in the cold snow. I sat looking at the stars that nearly were hidden in the snow falling down. I said a silent prayer that people could be nicer to each other. Then out of the blue, the girl was now standing beside me. She asked me did I not get her present. I pulled the bag of hair things out of my pocket.

“Did you give me these?” I asked
“Yes, why are you not wearing them?”
“They are for girls!”

She sighed as she took one of the elastics and started putting my hair in a ponytail. She told me she considered herself more of a boy than a girl. When she admitted this to herself long ago, she was much more at peace with herself. As she was doing my hair, she said she heard people call me a sissy. Before I could protest, she told me there was nothing wrong with being a sissy. I should do the same as she done; I should think of who I am and be proud. She finished off by saying I would make a good girl. I said nothing, just feeling my new ponytail.

We talked about other things- Her name was Sam and she admitted she was often by herself. She was sort of sad until she met me and admitted I was her only friend and thus her best friend. I smiled and said she was also my best friend.

Mom called me and when I came back home, she asked me was I not too old for an imaginary friend? I told her I do not, there was actually a girl called Sam out on the playground. Mom mumbled that the bullying was bad for me. She also said she liked my ponytail

I went to my bedroom and looked in the mirror. The ponytail did look nice, but I also looked more like a girl. Was this bad? I was now in my bed staring up at the ceiling. Sam felt like she was a boy in a girl’s body. She was also so happy. Maybe God meant me to a girl. It would explain my fragile body and how I looked and often how I thought. I did not sleep very well that night; I twisted and turned in my bed thinking about who I was. I will be honest; I was confused the next morning when I woke up.

When I woke up, there was another bag on my bed. How did Sam come in when I was asleep? I opened them and took out a pair of girl panties. They were white with fairies and flowers. They had lace edges and a cute bow in the front. It was another strange present, but I put them on.

I went to school late because mom wanted to come with me. I felt as small and little as she done this. When we came to the school, there was an ambulance outside. This meant we had to wait an hour to see the headmaster as there were so much confusion and chaos.

When we came into the headmaster's office, he explained that the strangest thing happened. One of the bully boys was in the schools swimming pool, as he usually practices before school starts. Today he was found floating in the water. The coach managed to bring life to him. The headmaster looked at me and said that was two boys from my class that was in the hospital. I felt sorry for the boys.
Mom wanted to know what he would do about the bullying. The poor headmaster seemed too worried and too stressed to have another problem. He gave mom a promise that he would look into the case and mobbing would not be tolerated at the school

This was enough for mom and she went to work.

When I went to class, everyone started laughing. One of the bully boys started teasing my ponytail. Then all the class joined saying my mom most likely forgot that I was a boy and dressed me up as a girl. I sat down and hoped the teacher would start. Even the teacher was laughing. So much for the school not tolerating bullying. It was bad enough being called sissy and even fagot, but when I went out, David pulled down my trousers, so everyone could see that I was wearing girl panties! If there was ever a time I wanted the ground to swallow me, it was then!

When I came home, I did not talk with mom; I went straight to my bed and cried. I felt so sorry for myself. After a while, I could feel a hand stroke my cheek. I shouted, “leave me alone Mom”, and I could hear her shout from the kitchen that she was not even near me. I opened my eyes and seen Sam there. She told me to rest as she knew I had a hard day. I sobbed as I remembered how humiliating it was to stand in panties. I told her that I thought a lot about how I feel inside. Even when they humiliated me standing in panties, I did not feel like a boy. When I was not being humiliated, I liked my ponytail as it made me feel like a girl. I told her I must be like her; I must be a girl in a boy’s body.

There it was. I was admitted that I was a sissy, and the word sissy did not sound like a bad word for me. I just recognised how I felt and told my best friend. The tears stopped as I felt peace. Bullies can tease or do what they want. I knew that that I was and meant to be. The sudden peace and happiness I had from admitting this made me smile. Sam smiled and said my smile was pretty….

Just them, mom opened the door. She had a policeman with her. I was in shock and babbled as I tried to explain why Sam was there. They could obviously not see her as mom explained to the police that I had an invisible friend. I wondered why they could not see Sam. She was standing right there.
The policeman said the teacher was in a car crash. He seen a girl suddenly appear and when tried avoiding her crashed into a tree. Considering the speed he was going, he was lucky to survive the crash. The policeman asked me I knew anything about it. I told him that I came straight home.
When he left and mom was back in the kitchen, I asked her why no one can see her. She told me to sit down.

“I am not your invisible friend” she started, “I lived in a family where I had 3 brothers. As I grew older, I never was interested in girl clothes or toys. I knew I was a boy in a girl’s body. The only problem is my parents did not accept me and they wanted me to see a shrink. I was teased all the time at school and this became bullying. I was even beaten up. I felt like no one loved me or accepted me. Being bullied was something I hated, but not feeling loved was much worse. I took a lot of sleeping tablets and died”
“You… You committed suicide?”
“Yes... and being dead where no one can see you are just as bad as not being accepted or loved. When I met you and you did not tease or give me a bad time, I was finally happy. I found a friend”
“You’re a ghost?”
“Yes,” she admitted.
“Did you put the boys and teacher in the hospital?” I asked
“Yes. I was trying to protect my new friend… you! If someone teased you or bullied you, it made me so mad that I punished them.”

I could not believe it. My friend was a ghost. She was the reason two bullies and a teacher was in the hospital. I should have freaked out just at the fact that she was a ghost. However, I knew she was a friend. I would accept her no matter what she was; I could not deal with her putting people in the hospital, so I made her promise that she would not hurt anyone.

The next day, we had a substitute teacher. I was once again teased that I had a ponytail and everyone knew I was wearing panties. The teacher did not hear and started to read names. I said “here” when he shouted my name. The substitute asked was I a boy or girl. He explained that I had a boy’s name and yet looked like a girl. I told him I was both. I was a girl in a boy’s body. Everyone laughed when he said this. I do not know why I said it. If Sam could be brave, then so could I.

After school, I walked home. I wonder where the bullies were. I soon found out as I was in the middle of the woods. Two bullies held me as David punched me more and more. He told me that he had no respect for trannies and sissies. They do not deserve to live. I saw one fist after another fist coming at me. I do not need to tell you how much it hurt. I soon felt my body that was full of pain collapse to the ground and then David kicked me and told me to be normal.

I do not know how I did it, but I stumbled back to my house. Mom was not home. There was a note that she was on a date. I could not believe it. My mom was on a date with David’s Dad. Was she dating my enemy’s dad? I was bothered about what mom wrote on the bottom… “Maybe he will pop the question tonight”

I looked in my mirror and seen my black eye. Could things get any worse?

At least it was weekend now. I found another bag in my bag with a message. The message said does not open until next day. I went to bed and slept with pains in my body.

The next day was Saturday! No school! No bullies. Mom sent me a text message while I was asleep saying she would be home later next day. She wrote that she was excited because David’s Dad asked her to marry him. This was too fast and too sudden

I opened the bag and it was a new pair of panties, tights, boots, a denim dress and a coat. I put them on with some difficulties. How do you put a dress on? The tights were also impossible but at last, I managed to put them on. I looked in the mirror and a girl with a black eye stared back at me. It is hard to explain how I felt. I looked at the girl in the mirror and knew she was the real me. It is her that was the happy me. It’s a shame people didn’t see that

I pranced out and met Sam. She was delighted to see me. She looked at my black eye, didn’t say a heard and held her hand in front of it. I see small silver, gold and pink stars flow from her hand to my black eye. I felt some tingling and smiled. After a few minutes, she said the black eye was now gone

We went to the park and skated in the frozen pond. For a ghost, Sam was not so good at skating. After we got tired of this, we went downtown. We looked at all the shop windows and talked about what we would get if we were millionaires. We spent all day downtown, even in the Church where Sam told God she was sorry for committing suicide.

It has been a long time since I smiled so much. I knew that she was my soul mate. She was more than a friend. She knew how I felt. I came to the conclusion that I was not a tranny or a Sissy. It was just like Sam was no tomboy. She was a boy and I was a girl!

We saw David on the other side of the road. I told Sam lets go to the other side of the road. She sighed and said she could scare him to death. I told her no, let's just avoid him. She finally agreed, but he had by now seen me. He, of course, could not see Sam. He stood in front of me and could not believe that I was wearing a dress. He also thought I was covering my black up with makeup. He stood there calling me a sissy and asked why I liked dresses. I tried telling him but he would not listen to me. He told me he could not believe that I was about to be his brother…

He reached into his pocket and said he would not have any prissy sissy as a sister and took out a knife…..

Sam suddenly shouted to leave me alone. David could suddenly see her. He went white as a… excuse my pun… ghost and screamed. You could nearly see his heart come out of his mouth. He screamed that she was a ghost and started to run across the road.

I shouted to watch out, but too late as a bus hit him

A few hours later;
Sam and I sat on a train watching the fields go by. We were escaping the town where I lived and was going to be ourselves someplace else. Where it was... we did not know. How we would eat and where we would live… we did not know. All we knew is that we would be happy being who we were.
A man asked how many tickets we needed. I said one. Then I smiled and asked how much does a ticket cost for a ghost? The man looked at me as if I was crazy

Ghosts are free.