I met Lisa in the hall just after second period. “Hey, are you okay? I heard that they took you off the squad. Then you disappear for a week? What happened?”

“Amber. We had a scare last Tuesday Night. It’s all a blur to me. She almost died. I was in the room at the time. All the doctors and nurses rushed in; I felt so helpless.”

“Oh, I’m so sorry. We haven’t had any news about you or Amber. We were all so worried.”

“Well, they took her in for surgery that night. It took forever, but the following morning they told us that she had survived. By Friday she even opened her eyes!”

“REALLY! That’s amazing!”

The news has her beaming with delight.”I’m so happy for you!”

“The doctors say it may be a while before we know anything more. Until then, they want her to rest while they run tests.”

“That’s so great to hear, I think the squad was really worried too. You must be so relieved.”

“I am. I hope she’ll be alright. We’re all still worried about her. We still don’t know when she could come home. I think the girls can start to visit, It is about 2 hours away. Maybe we all could go together?”

“About the squad… I heard from Cindy that you were taken off the squad? I’m sorry to hear about that. I know how much it started to mean to you. Cindy told me that she was surprised to hear that you were taken off. You must have been devastated. I know how I felt when I couldn’t be on the squad anymore. It hurt just to be around them. I thought I would lose Cindy. She’d be busy with the squad and all, I could do is sit and watch.” her mood turns somber.

“That’s the other bit of news.” I’m start fumbling for the envelope in my backpack. “Dr. Corning reconsidered my eligibility. She checked with my teachers and thought my grades were good enough that I would be eligible.”

“It’s only been three weeks, how could the teachers know that?”

“I’ve kept up with the school work and did pretty well on all the quizzes so far.” I’m still searching for the letter.

“Tryouts are held in spring, and that’s after almost two semesters of classes. I had to tryout when I was already a freshman just to be on the team in sophomore year. To be a cheerleader in your freshman year? That’s hard to believe.”

“Dr. Corning said I can rejoin the squad if I want.”

“What? Why?”

“She handed me the forms and said that I could rejoin the squad if I got permission from my parents.”

“Is this something you really want?”

“I’d like to, but the more I think about it, I’m not sure how the rest of the squad would feel. I was ecstatic when Dr. Corning gave me the news, but I was thinking about whether the rest of the girls would really want me there. Well, now that I’m not forced to be there.”

“I know you liked being a part of the squad. I’m just… I… You haven’t been involved in the squad for very long. Maybe, it not such a good idea.”

“It just I’ve never felt more… More alive… When I was… I was with the squad.” I notice her face cringe. ‘Is there something wrong?”

“No, I… I guess I’m a bit jealous.”

“You weren’t jealous when I was forced on the squad?”

“Well, I thought that it was a bit cruel and I just thought…”

“Wait, we were supposed to meet for lunch last Tuesday. You didn’t show up. I was looking for you everywhere. Where were… It was you, wasn’t it? You spoke to Dr. Corning, didn’t you? You had me kicked off the squad? Why would you do that to me? I thought you were my friend?”

“Please, don’t be mad at me. I just felt that If I could... I was only trying to... I didn’t go to her to get you kicked off the squad. I…”

“Why? What did you tell her?” I’m hurt. I don’t understand what would make her sabotage me like that.

“I told her that it was cruel… you know… for her to force you on to the squad and that it wasn’t fair to the squad either.”

“I overheard her talking to the coaches… She didn’t know anything about it. When she found out, she got mad and kicked me off the squad. How could you do this to me? Couldn’t you have talked to me first? Did you really have to go behind my back?”

“I didn’t know that at the time. I thought she was in on it. Please, don’t be mad. I didn’t mean to get you…” The bell rings.

“Great! Now we’re late for class.”

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t trying to hurt you. I was… Can we talk more at lunch?”

A voice from behind me catches us off guard. “Ms. Cramer, you should be in class.”

“Yes, Dr. Corning.” Lisa quickly rushes past me to go to her class. She whispers “I’m sorry.” again as she walks by me.

“Mr. Stewart please be sure to give what I have said some thought. You are new to this school and 4 years is a long time to keep yourself isolated.” She gives me a soft look of concern and places a hand on my shoulder. “Now, I believe you should be in class?”

“Yes, Dr. Corning, thank you.” Her comment about my isolation, I found rather odd. I thought the kids were shunning me not the other way around. My parents were concerned with Amber, and well the squad was angered that I had to join them against their will. That was all true, wasn’t it? I didn’t ask the kids to leave the lunch tables when I arrived. What of the prank?

I find Ellie at lunch. She’s sitting with the rest of the squad. They’re trying to cheer her up for some reason. I walk over to greet the squad. They’re still a bit suspicious of me. Ellie lights up and greets me with a hug. “Aaron! What happened to you? We were so worried!” I look over at the rest of the squad. If I was missed, only a few of them actually missed me. Half the squad continues to speak to each other while the other half smiles at my return. “How’s Amber?”

“She’s out of the coma!” I can barely contain my excitement.

“OMG! That's so amazing! You must be so relieved!” She pulls me into another hug. “When can we go see her?”

“She’s at the county hospital,” I say sadly knowing the distance makes it difficult to visit.

“Oh, maybe we can visit this weekend? I know it’s after the first game and all, but we can all go to visit her, right? I don’t think they’ll be too tired.”

“No, I don’t think that would be a problem, they are limiting the number of visitors at a time. I don't see why we couldn't all take turns.”

“So, what did I miss?” I ask coyly.

“Oh, I’m sorry to hear that the principal took you off the squad. Well since, your off I was placed as an alternate.” I see her face start to sadden. “I mean all the other girls were already on the squad. And I guess Amber, and I were new… Since she’s out… I guess so that we can still compete, in the small squad category, I was placed as an alternate. I know what you going to say. ‘I’m still in the squad.’ and ‘I’ll have another chance next year…’ I just thought it would be nice you know? Why are you smiling?”

“That’s my other news,” I say grinning from ear to ear.

“What news?” Her head cocks slightly.

I hand her the forms, Dr. Corning gave me.

“What’s this?” She asks, kneading her brows together.

“Well, we could be a squad of eight again? What do you think?”

“What?” I don’t think it has registered yet.

“Dr. Corning said that I can rejoin the squad with my parent's permission.”

“No! Your kidding!” That got the other girls attention. They’re coming over to see what Ellie is fussing about.

“Well if you’ll have me?” My eyes drift to Monica. She's turning it over in her head.

“So what are you going to do?” Monica chimes in.

“Well, that’s really up to all of you. Look, I’ve tried my best to take this seriously, I’ve apologized, I’ve been kicked off the squad, and now that I have the chance to come back, all I can do is ask. Would you all want me back on the squad?” I look at Monica pleading for her to consider my request.

Ellie looks at Monica she’s almost begging her to consider it. I can see some of the girls want to say something, but they’re following Monica’s lead. I look at Monica. I’ve placed her in a bad position. She feels it. If she says “no,” she keeps the squad at six, and it looks like her decision to keep me off the squad. If she says “yes,” she may alienate the members of the squad that still don’t trust me.

I sigh, “No, I’m sorry, I can’t put this all on you. It's not fair to you or the squad.” Ellie turns to me and gives me a questioning look. “Either way it hurts the squad. I can see that just by looking at all of you.”

Ellie turns to Monica, “You’re just going to let him leave?” Monica stares at me she stays quiet.

“Ellie, thank you, but it's not fair to put this all on her.” I turn to Monica, “I… thanks.” I turn and walk away. I’m choking back tears as Ellie runs after me. The bell rings. It’s time for class.

The rest of the day, I spend wondering how I screwed everything up. After I get home, I see my Dad. He's just dropped Mom off at the house. “Hey, Champ! I’m heading off to visit Amber, wanna come? It’s still early, and we can get you back here at a reasonable hour.”

“Sure, Dad”

The ride to the hospital was a bit more lively. I was still down about not being on the squad. I really didn’t hold it against Monica. I broach the topic with Dad. “I spoke with the Principal today. She mentioned that she was concerned about me.”

“That can’t be good.” He says trying to keep his eyes on the road. “What was she concerned about?”

“Well, she said that I was performing well in school, but the teacher thought that I was isolating myself. She wondered why I wasn’t participating in any extra activities.”

“Well, you’ve never really been a joiner. What does she want you to do?”

“Well, she asked if I wanted to rejoin the squad.”

“I can see where this is going. Look, all I wanted you to do was make up for your prank. We weren’t going to have you prance around in a cheerleader outfit, if that’s what you were thinking. You were only supposed to work out with the squad and do all the charity and fundraising stuff Amber would have done had… had this not happened.”

“You were going to say ‘pulled that stupid prank' weren’t you?’”

“Yeah, I was. I figured you beat yourself enough over it. I didn’t want to add to it.”

“I thought that if you did all the charity and fundraising, it could take the pressure off Amber to have to help raise the money that the squad needed. Coach Tompkins explained to us how much each girls participation meant. We agreed that she would keep you active after school, keep an eye on you so you wouldn’t cause any more trouble and we could focus on Amber.”

“The Principal handed me some forms and said I could rejoin the squad it I had your permission to do so.”

“I’ll tell you what, we’ll talk it over when we get back from the hospital and if you are really interested, I’ll sign the forms.”

“I look over at my dad, by now he should be yelling ‘gotcha!’” His eyes stay on the road. Not a hint of sarcasm. Something's wrong.

“So you’d be okay with me being a cheerleader.” I can feel my eyebrows raise.

“I said we’d talk about it. If this is one of your stunts? Then. No. I won’t have you disrupting the girls anymore that you already have. If this is something that you’d give it your all? Then, that’s fine with me.”

“I already checked with the squad, I think I blew my chance.”

“Was this really that important to you?”

“I think so.”