Staci’s Mom says, “You know Stephanie, you should have your own birthday, something similar to Steven’s but like you’re two months younger. How about we get a couple of pairs of earrings to celebrate Steph's birthday?”

I give in finally saying, “Yes.” I went to look at the clip-on earrings. Staci steers me over to the regular earrings most girls our age wear. “My mom meant these and you agreed to get earrings; so sit up on the chair and I’ll get someone to help us. The saleswoman, a cute college girl asks, “One, two, or more?”

I said, “Two please;” Expecting one on each side. She understood it differently and I soon had a cute pair of studs and dangling silver bells hanging from each ear.

Hope, a college student, introduces herself and asks, “Please don’t be offended, but I was wondering if you could help me with a project at the university?”

I tell her, “I would but I’m not always around here."

Hope says, “I understand that but I suspect you find it hard at times to hiding with others not ever seeing the real you. Our help would give you a chance to see another side of life. It would give some of us college girls a chance to help you as we do our research. And you will gain a better understanding of being you.”

Staci broke into the conversation, “She’s going to be around yet this week; would there be an opportunity for her or us, to meet with you say Tuesday or Thursday”

Hope smiles as Staci whispers in her ear, “She’s been, my boyfriend. I didn’t know about Stephanie, but I still care a lot about her.” This happened off to the side and, as Stephanie, I am unaware of it.

“So Stephanie, Thursday mid-afternoon would work out well for me, as my classes will be over for the week. If it would work, you and your girlfriend, you would both be welcome.” Hope was now in front of me as she pierced my ears. Seeing how beautiful she is; I was excited by the idea, though not completely as Stephanie. I looked to Mrs. Miller, trying to think about how to answer.

Mrs. Miller says, “I would be willing to talk to your Aunt Hammond. She and I are good friends because of Steven, that’s if you’re interested. But I would want to visit with Hope for a couple of minutes.”

I turn back to Hope, “Would this project have us doing anything I would be uncomfortable doing? I don’t want Staci or myself embarrassed.”

Hope says, “I can assure you that it will be comfortable as you're being out and about right now. I’ll give you my information. If you two come around 3:30 p.m. Thursday, we can visit, get something to eat, our treat. We’ll be done by 7:30. You’d be welcome to stay around for some girl time.”

Staci and I agree that it sounds like fun. Staci’s certain that Hope knows I’m a TG girl. I didn’t think so, plus I told her, “Staci, I am not a T-girl nor anything else like that. I’m just doing this because of my punishment. I am still your boyfriend. You need to believe that.”

We finish our shopping with Mrs. Miller buying Staci a full outfit with a skirt, jeans, and tops. She approved my buying the mini-dress but I had to promise to diet so it would fit even better. Staci and her Mom take me to their home so we can talk.

Mrs. Miller’s first to say, “Stephanie, Steve is special to us and I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. You are not acting like a person being punished but someone who enjoys being a girl. Stephanie seems very comfortable being Staci’s friend. I hope you will continue being friends but I didn’t see her boyfriend today.”

I look to Staci for support, she says, “I still have strong feelings for you Steve, but I agree with my Mom. Today I felt like Stephanie has become my friend. You’re more than just Steve. I still want to go to the movies with you tonight, but please understand it is with Stephanie.”

I say, “I agree that I have enjoyed shopping with you like Stephanie, even getting some girl clothes. I didn’t mean to make you think I want to be a girl. I just got caught up enjoying the differences.” I try hugging Staci, and while we shared the hug, it was different my bra and bumps change the feeling. I try to apologize and Staci puts a finger over my lips and then kisses me.

Her Mom had already left the room but we’re still being discrete.

Mrs. Miller says, "You each need to model your outfits as I have not seen them on you. I take the camisole and panty as well as the dress. Staci giggles as she sends me into her walk-in closet to change. I have to knock before I can come out as she is changing in her room. The panty gives me shivers of joy as I pull it on and brush my hands over them. I kind of regret that It's not really me filling the bra. I look beautiful and feminine. I can hear Staci ask, “Does it feel that good?” I hadn’t realized I had made any sounds that she could hear.

The mini-dress is such a delight. I take pride that I’m able to get it fully on, zipped up, and hooked by myself. I found Staci’s 3” pair of red heels and I’m happy that my feet fit. I tell Staci and she says they are her older sister’s, a half size larger than hers.

I am ready to come out, even her mother is there to see me. I open the door and it is not only her mom but my mother is there too. I stepped out and begin to turn around before I realize my mother is there. “O Honey, what did I start?” She took a picture and then holds her arms out to hug me.

Mrs. Miller says, “I doubt you started anything. I suspect someone else in the house knows more about this side of Steven. From what Staci told me yesterday, maybe this friend being back acted as a catalyst for her being out again.”

My mother calls Elle. Staci came over to me, “She’s very pretty, and more importantly she’s even happier as Steph. I think I could love her if Steven is somehow in the mix.” She embraces me and gives me a very tender kiss.

My mother disconnects her call, “Stephanie’s sister suggests we order some pizza and sit around and talk. You can still go to the movies if you want, there should be time.”

Elle and Staci have talked and googled searching for something, up until the pizza showed up. My mother fixes a clean dishtowel down over the front of my dress. I’m amused. We both know I can be messy when I eat. However last night at Mario’s I ate lobster and managed to keep my clothes spotless. “Thanks, Mom, please remind me to check and make sure the dress is okay before we leave.”

The discussion begins as we eat. Elle and then Staci bring up the idea, “We think Stephanie/Steven might need a gender specialist to help figure things out. Staci says, “Someone called Hope says she knows someone Stephanie could talk to.”

My mother speaks, “You strongly think he’s Stephanie?”

Elle said, “Hope says gender identity has a whole spectrum of possibilities. The joy right now is she seems to be experiencing more of whom she is.”

Staci shares, “Native American’s and others say some people are two or twin spirited. Part of me hopes Steven’s gender identity is a mix like that.”

“You’re hoping, I’m bisexual,” I ask?

Staci speaks more directly, “Let’s not jump to sexuality. I’m talking about your gender identity; that you might in some ways embrace both genders. One term is gender fluidity. That could be why you are still strongly claiming to be Steve while everyone is seeing your comfort in being Stephanie.”

“Elle has said, you’ve been into her clothes before; some of her older clothes have even gone missing.”

Elle giggled, “I’m not sure? Haley and I have possibly yelled at each other for getting into the other's clothes and makeup. And it might have been Steve.”

“Steven Lee Hammond is that true,” my Mother asks quite strongly?

Steph speaks up though shyly, “I knew of one time, it had to do with using Haley’s makeup and I hid under my bed because my eyes were all made up. If people had caught me then; they would have laughed and I would have been in big trouble.” Steph begins to cry worried about being in trouble. “I’m sorry, please don’t be angry with me.”

Staci hugs me and starts to give me little pecks near my ear as she says, “I don’t think people are angry. We just had little to no idea that you were in here Steph. I for one love you.”

As I looked up she has a tissue to blot my tears. I ask, “Do you really or are you just being nice to me?” Staci looks directly at me, “Both of our Mom says you can even sleepover when we get back from the movies.”

Staci and I go to the movie theater the next town over. Her sister Sarah drove us as she’s meeting friends there to go to another movie. Their movie starts some twenty minutes earlier so we’ll need to wait.

I am nervous and looking around, afraid others will soon realize I’m a boy. Staci says my looking around could be taken as me flirting or being interested in a date. She’s right as two boys probably a year ahead of us in school, came over to talk. Adin asks, “Are you two waiting for dates to arrive?” When I said, ‘No’. Adin said, “Would you mind if we paid for your tickets and sit with you?”

Staci smiles, “Yes if you’re my date and Stephanie doesn’t mind?” Adin smiles and waits for my answer.

I did not like Staci being the date of another boy. And I take her aside before I agree. However, I felt after last night and being dressed as Stephanie now, it is a bit awkward. “Staci,” I whisper, “How can you; I mean we do this with these boys?”

Staci smiles at me, “Didn’t you go out on me last night. Tonight Steve is not ready to take me out. If you survived last night. I don’t think you should have any problems tonight. If you do have a problem you can ask me for help.

I have no choice but to say ‘okay’. Jared is very happy to be my date and quickly put his hand around my waist. His hand has the strength of a worker or athlete so I said, “You must be an athlete or you are working, I can’t tell?”

Jared seems amused, “My father has his own construction company so I work for him and I play sports when I can. How did you figure that?”

I said, “Your hands are stronger.”

He says, “You’re easy to talk to, I like that. I’m surprised you don’t have a boyfriend. I like that but I’m surprised.” He pays for the tickets and then cuddles me saying, “Is it okay if I get you a small drink and we share some popcorn?”

I ask for diet cola, hoping we were not sharing a drink.

It’s an older theater and the seats were just fair in size. Jared said, “If you don’t mind I’m going to put my arm around you as the seat is a bit crowded for me.” He easily touches Staci’s shoulder on the other side of me.

Staci lightly giggles at me, “You don’t waste any time in wooing a boy do you?” She quickly knew I was worried that she might have thought that. “Relax Stev… Steph, I was just teasing. It is better than his hand falling off the armrest onto your lap.” The visual of that worries me.

Staci leans over and whispers, “Remember if during the movie you are moved, startled, or scared; you are a girl, Steph. You should talk to your date; it is the boy who is usually the quiet one.”

I look to Jared and he’s looking at me. I can’t think of a thing to say. Jared speaks, “You’re like this Adeline. You can’t be who you say you are.” I’m worried that Jared suspects something. “You can’t say you’ve never had a boyfriend or say you’ve never been kissed by a guy?”

“I said, I don’t have a boyfriend, not that a boy never kissed me.”

“Shucks,” Jared said as he leaned over to kiss me. I closed my eyes pouting for a kiss, Jared kisses me on the cheek instead. He saw me pout my lips, “I hope I didn’t disappoint you, maybe later in the movie I’ll kiss those pretty lips.”

“Stephanie, you’re red with embarrassment,” said Staci. “I hope you are not as easy as I feared.”

The movie was good and I got caught up in the character. I felt for her when she dared to love again and I was moved. Jared took it as the opportunity to give me a kiss and a comforting hug. This time the kiss is on my lips and passionate. He caught me by surprise and I found myself returning some of the passion until I caught myself. “Mmm!”

Jared asks, “Are you from around here; where do you live?”

“I didn’t say. I’m just a friend of Staci’s visiting.” Even I’m believing I’m only here until Thursday.

When we leave the theater I see Staci’s hand drop to the guy's butt and my hand follows with Jared, slipping into his back pocket. Jared turns to me and we kiss. He’s saying he enjoyed our date. We walk out to the lobby and Elle and Sarah both see me holding his hand.

I drop his hand and quickly walk over to Elle. Staci is soon over with us, saying, “They agreed to pay for our tickets and get the popcorn.” I say, “And a small drink.”

Sarah’s there for Staci, “Let’s stop for something so we can talk.” Sarah jokes, “Our little sisters haven’t done anything we didn’t, except they were not both sisters before.”

Elle says, “I bet he didn’t want to tell the boy, so he just went along with it.”

Not realizing Elle’s joking too, I say, “That is what happened. I swear I didn’t do it on purpose. I was too embarrassed to say anything.”

Elle says, “If you have your lipstick in your purse, you might want to repair your lips.” She leans over and whispers, “Mom says you should wear a double panty if you are sleeping over the Miller’s with Staci.” Elle says, “I think Mrs. Miller is wanting Staci to see you like another girl, not a boyfriend.”

I can’t believe that my mother is agreeing that it is okay for me to stay over with Staci. We stay up another hour and a half and I’m behind Staci as she’s chatting with other friends on her computer. It doesn’t seem anything special until Gere asks, “Why is Steve in a nightgown looking like your girlfriend?”

Staci says, “She’s my Barbie for tonight. Do you want to come over tomorrow morning and we can have fun the three of us?” I’m in shock.

I am crying when Staci gets off her computer. Staci says, “Don’t be crying, Gere knows you. She and I were already planning on dressing you for Crossover Day. Tomorrow will give us a little practice, won’t you like that?"

I am excited about sleeping with Staci, but Staci says we need to go out and sit with her folks and watch TV before we can say goodnight. Mr. Miller looks at me in teddy bear pajamas and Staci’s shorter robe. “Stephanie, it is hard to believe Staci likes you as her boyfriend.”

Staci raises her voice, “Dad don’t make fun of him. I think he’s cute and adorable. I bet you wouldn’t have had the courage to dress like that for Mom when you were his age.” I knew Staci was speaking up for me, but like her father, I didn’t look at it as a courageous thing for a boy.

Two days later, Brad has sent me a text, “Stephanie xx. I am wanting to make it worth all your mother spent on you. I am wondering if Elle has someone we could double date with tomorrow or the next night. I’m told girls like going to Peddlers Village even if it is only for window shopping. If Elle is of mind, the two couples could even make a night of it. I’d even cover the cost of a room with two queen beds.”

I should have been watching as Elle had come up behind me and was reading over my shoulder. “Steph! Is he suggesting what I think he’s saying?”

I yell at Elle “S**=! ~!+x!”

My mother yells upstairs, “Haven’t you learned your lesson, get your skirted little self, down here and explain yourself?” I said something more in a softer voice, believing my Mom wouldn’t hear me. My mother says, “Elle please come down here as well and help me straighten this out.”

I was just trying on a sweater dress of hers with a blue patterned pair of leggings. I want to quickly change, but Elle grabs me and we head down to our mom. I do delete my message from Brad.

“I’m sorry I yelled mom, it was inappropriate.”

My Mom smiles. “I am glad you apologize but why did you feel a need to yell like that?” I feel a little vindicated.

I say, “She looked over my shoulder and was reading my messages.”

Mom asks Elle’s explanation. “Sorry Mom, but he had such an expression on his face. I was tempted to see and then read a message Steph got from Brad.”

As I said, “I did not get any message from Brad;” my phone indicated another message coming in. It too was from Brad. My Mom puts out her hand wanting to see my phone before I can delete the call.

She asks, “Whose Kari, and what is this about going to Peddlers Village with your sister and her date? Is Brad really interested in you as Stephanie?”

We talk some, even Haley has come down to listen in on the conversation. “Do you often feel like a girl with Brad? I gather this started years ago when you two were younger and best friends.”

“Mom, I didn’t mean it as a girl. We were best friends and I said we were better than having girlfriends. I kissed him once. I didn’t know what it was like but thought we were special friends. It was a year before he gave me a panty and skirt from his sister to wear. He said It was true that boys like each other better than girls”

Mom is calm as she asks, “So do you still see yourself as a girl and his girlfriend when you're around him?”

I say, “No, Mom I’m not his girlfriend, but I can’t explain how I feel.”

She asks, “Explain what?”

Elle speaks up, “I think he still feels like he’s a girl. He might even have feelings for Brad from the past. Brad’s like an old boyfriend that a girl still likes in some ways.”

Mom suddenly turns to me. “Is that how you felt the other night? …Did you kiss or make out?”

I am almost crying, “Mom, he’s not my boyfriend?”

Mom asks, “But do you saw yourself as a girl with him? The way you look now says you had some experience.”

I stopped crying, I am surprised but there is a relief in my mother knowing and not being terribly angry. “Mom, I can stop; just let me change back.”

She asks, “Do you really want to change back?” There is a long quietness, I don’t really want to say yes, but it is embarrassing to admit I like being Stephanie.

Mom says, “I thought not... You don’t need to rush to any thoughts. I have gotten something for Stephanie for Christmas.”

“Elle what do you think of us going to Peddlers Village with her as Stephanie. I’d be amused to see if she enjoyed it more, sharing the experience as a girl.”

Elle says, “I’d be more comfortable going as a bunch of girls, even including Kari and Brad if they’d like to go. I think Stephanie needs to wrestle a little bit out in the world as Steph. But I’m not taking a boy with me.”

Story to be continued…