Mary took me under her wing and eased me into Parish Life once she had helped me create a believable back story for my life. We needed a story that had to stand up under the close scrutiny of her parishioners. It didn’t take me long to realise that Mary was an expert at that. I sat back and marvelled at how she tied things together so that were no loose ends.

Then there was the subject of my clothes. Mary took one look at the few I had in my case and laughed her head off.

“Those will never do for the parish ladies,” she commented.

Then holding one of my ‘thongs’ she said,

‘These are far too flirty and fancy for us plain country folk. We will have to sort out your wardrobe before the Ladies Circle on Thursday.”

I must have looked crestfallen but I knew that she was right. A new life meant a new image from top to bottom, inside to out.

“Don’t worry, my diary is free tomorrow. We can go into Leeds and get you nicely sorted out. It will be fun besides, I hate shopping alone.”

Mary skipped out of my room saying,

“Just make sure that you have plenty of cash. Am I right in thinking that you don’t want to leave a credit-card trail?”

“That might be a problem. The Building Society won’t let me access my money yet.”

Mary just grinned back at me.

“Don’t worry, I’ll sub you until next week. I’ll expect a nice donation to Church Funds in return for the loan but I won’t charge ‘Wonga’ rates.”

I didn’t know what to make of her. If I didn’t know better, I would have felt that I was being manipulated by her.

As I relaxed in her company, I decided that it didn’t matter one little bit.

It was nice to be in the company of another woman. After my years as Liam’s Trophy wife where contact with other women on anything other than a very superficial level was pretty limited I started to feel at home in the vicarage.

Our trip to Leeds turned out to be more than just shopping. I returned with a new hair colour and style. It made me look a lot older and would take a bit of getting used to. Before, I had shoulder length blonde hair like most of my fellow trophy wives. My natural colour had been once upon a time, a light brown. Now I was a deep brunette and a good two to three inches shorter.

With my new hair combined with a change in my style of makeup and of clothes that made me look at least five years older than I really was. Mary was adamant that I should wear skirts at all times. She was also insistent that they were also knee length or longer and not tight pencil styles. My shoes also got a thorough overhaul. Years of tottering around on high heels playing the ‘trophy wife’ had taken its toll on my feet.

As we had a late lunch in a City Centre Café Mary said,

“Here we like our housekeepers to wear skirts and flat shoes.”

“I’d noticed that, but I am drawing the line with my eyelashes. I have sod all real ones so I will wear false ones every day.”

Mary grinned.

“Good. Then you can teach me how to wear them as well. I really can’t be outshone by the housekeeper now can I?”

“But… You are a Vicar?”

“Yes I am but I am also a woman in case you have not noticed. A little femininity when wearing my ‘dog collar’ would be nice. Besides, most of the congregation won’t notice and those that do will be a bit jealous. No extravagant ones though.”

“What do you mean extravagant ones?” I asked puzzled.

“Oh, those multi-coloured with a huge sweep. Or those with diamante along the band.”

I grinned back knowing the sort that she meant. I had a pair in my makeup bag but the diamante was actually real diamonds.

“Yes Boss.”

The following day was the bi-monthly meeting of the Women’s Circle.

I was very nervous as I was presented to the twenty or so women who gathered in the Vicarage every two weeks. My job was to serve tea and cakes to the attendees. I’d made Mary laugh by wearing an apron over my skirt.

“We could get you a proper Maids uniform if you want?” she commented in a very off hand sort of way.

I glared back at her but the idea stuck in my mind.

I was grilled by several of the ladies as I served them tea. Thanks to Mary, my backstory held up pretty well. After an hour or so, I relaxed and they relaxed too. I began to feel that I’d been accepted at least provisionally.

As I showed the last of the women out, I suddenly felt tired and my feet ached. I’d been on my feet for three hours. The new shoes I was wearing didn’t help.

“Come on into the Kitchen and I’ll make up something a little stronger than tea,” suggested Mary.

I looked at her strangely.

She smiled.

“Look, being a member of the Clergy does not mean that I’m tea-total and most certainly not celibate but don’t go telling my parishioners about that otherwise I’ll have to start quoting the Bible at them and at the moment, I can’t be bothered to even begin to try to remember the chapter and verses where wine is mentioned in a positive way.”

I smiled.

“You mean the feeding of the five thousand?”

“Yes but there are better references. Perhaps I should use that as a theme for a future sermon? But in the meantime, we are off duty and I need a drink. There is only so much women and parish gossip I can take for one day.”

“Sure thing Boss.”

“You did great today. You seemed to fit right in.”

“Thanks but I think Mrs Featherstone has some doubts about me.”

“She took two years to accept me. She’s a tough cookie. Get her on your side and you are home and dry.”

Over a glass of wine, Mary said,

“I really meant it when I said that you did very well today. That is your big test over with.”

“Really? I thought that would be on Sunday. At the Services?”

Mary sighed.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you don’t have to come to Services. You are my housekeeper, not the Verger.”

“Yeah and try telling that to at least half of the ladies who were here today. They are expecting to see me there on Sunday. They all said so at they left.”

“Their bark is worse than their bite.”

“That’s as maybe Mary, I will be there this Sunday and every Sunday and Wednesday until I leave. Ok?”

“Ok. I get it,” she replied admitting defeat.

Life settled down into something approaching a routine. I managed the Vicarage and did most of the cooking. I gave many thanks to my insistence that I learn how to cook even though Liam had a live-in cook. Mary appreciated the change in her diet. I’d learnt from a retired former two Michelin Star Chef. The chance to do something apart from look pretty all the time was really great.

Mary’s work meant that she could be called upon at any hour of the day or night. I made sure that there was always decent something to eat in the fridge whatever the time of day it might be.

One Sunday night a couple of months after I’d arrived in town, Mary and I were enjoying a nice tea and a very nice glass of wine when she asked,

“Have you given any thoughts to moving on?”

“Are you trying to get rid of me?”

“No, but when you arrived you gave me the impression that you were here and then you’d be gone.”

I remembered my non-committal statements from that time.

“Actually, I like it here. You are a great Boss and… yes I want to stay.”

Mary grinned back at me from the other side of the table.

“I’m glad. You fitted in here as if you’d been born to the job.”

“I guess being on the other side of the coin so to speak and having people do everything for me made me appreciate things a little better.”

“Most people who had been in that life wouldn’t know the first thing about running a household.”

“Well, I was different. I knew that I’d be there for a limited time. I never expected to be with him for as long as I did. But because I’d come from below stairs in the first place, I got to know what it was that the staff were doing for me. Besides, being decent and civil to them was not that hard. They were in the main a decent bunch of people.”

“Well, you certainly have eased my workload around here.”

“Great, so pour me another glass of wine then we can order me some proper uniforms.”

Mary was just taking a sip of wine almost choked on it.

“What? What did you just say?”

“I said that we need to buy me some proper uniforms. You have one for your duties. I want one for mine. One that will put me firmly in my place at the bottom of the ladder, which is where I want it. You really don’t want to know how much effort I had to put into making sure that I looked like a million dollars every minute of the day.”

Mary glared at me. Then she looked skywards and muttered a few words to herself.

“Why did I let my Sister persuade me to give you a job… I get a distinct feeling that I will live to regret this.”

“No Mary you won’t. I just want to look the part for my role.”

“Don’t you want to be my friend? This job has real disadvantages when it comes to friends. It is very difficult to get proper friends. This collar opens lots of doors but it also closes a lot. While you are here, you are my friend ok.”

“Yes Boss,” I replied grinning.

She just shook her head.

Ordering uniforms for me proved to be harder than it looked. I wanted a flared skirt. One that would allow me to wear at least one fairly stiff petticoat. It all originated from the first time I saw Alice in Wonderland. From that moment on, I wanted to be Alice. Now I had my chance. When I was with Liam and once I had some cleavage and a bum he wanted me to show off my assets but I toed the line at micro-skirts. My legs were just not up to it so to compensate, most of my clothing was tight. One or Two sizes under tight was the norm and that included bras. Well, he paid for it all so I obliged. I dressed to please him in my role as his ‘wife’. Now it was my turn to dress appropriately in my role as housekeeper. For the first time since I had got breasts, I was wearing a properly sized and fitting bra. Liam insisted that I flash my assets at every opportunity so it felt good and there was no way I was going back to the old style. So it was loose and easy fitting and definitely not gaudy in colour for me for the foreseeable future.

A week of fruitless evening searching later, I knocked on Mary’s door.

“Have you finished your sermon yet?”

“Just about. What is it that couldn’t wait until the morning?”

As she spoke I entered her room. Then I stopped dead. She was wearing the skimpiest negligée known to man.

“Sorry. I’ll come back tomorrow."

“Stop right there, young lady. You will do no such thing.”

“Sorry but…”

“Oh this. Look Jess, this is my home. I have to put on a brave face all day every day. Here in my bedroom, I like to be a woman. Does this not say ‘hell, I’m a woman’?”

“Yes but…”

I had to squeeze my legs together as I was cruelly reminded that I still had a set of fully functioning male parts between my legs.

“Sorry Jess. I can see you are embarrassed. Why don’t I meet you downstairs in a couple of minutes?”

I sloped off before I said something that would embarrass me and her. But she was fucking beautiful.

Five minutes later Mary joined me downstairs. She put a sweatshirt on over her top and a pair of shorts.

She sat down beside me and took my hand.

“Am I right in thinking that you don’t fancy men?”

“Yes.”

“But you said that you lived with one as his wife for years.”

“I did but strictly as his Trophy Wife. Liam is mostly gay, but a bit bi. His Business Manager is his lover. But many of his business deals were with people who… well being out as a gay with them would not be good for business. I was strictly for show but it was worth it because he paid for what you see in front of you.”

“But you didn’t go the whole way?”

I shook my head.

“I never wanted to face that question. It is the ultimate step. If I were attracted to men then maybe I would have had it all chopped off but as I said, the question never arose when I was with him.”

There was a silent moment between us.

“This is your home and I should not make you change your life. I won’t go into your bedroom again unless it is to clean or change the bed.”

“You don’t have to do that.”

“I do Mary. If I don’t then… well you know what might happen and neither of us wants that do we?”

She didn’t answer.

“Anyway, you wanted to ask me something earlier?” she said changing the subject.

I sighed.

“I’m not having a lot of luck finding the sort of uniform I want.”

“Ok show me what you have found so far.”

We spent the next twenty minutes going through the sites that I’d been browsing. Mary laughed when I told her what I style I wanted to wear.

“Well, that’s certainly different.”

She thought for a moment before saying,

“What about those German things…. Dirndls, I think they are called?” she suggested.

A few minutes surfing brought several guffaws from the pair of us.

“Nearly but plain dark blue or black or grey with a white Apron. That’s what I want. Then white full petticoats.”

“Then it might be that you have to get them made.”

“I was afraid of that. Is there anyone in town that could do it?”

“There is but I wouldn’t use them.”

“Why?”

“Gossip. It would spread like wildfire the moment you walked into the dress-makers shop.”

“Ah. I get it.”

“Let me make some calls. I regularly speak to other women priests. One of them might know of someone who could make the garments you want.”

“But what do you think of them?”

Mary smiled.

“You know, I like them. I was joking when I mentioned a uniform but you know I love it. I think you will look very smart. The Ladies Circle will have a lot to chinwag about when they see you wearing them.”

Then she added,

“But, there is nothing they could object too. They tell the world that you are my housekeeper.”

Mary was true to her word and a few days later she came bounding into the kitchen waving a bit of paper. I was shelling some peas I'd picked earlier from the vicarige garden.

“I have found somewhere to get your dresses made.”

“Where?”

“Durham.”

“Durham? But, that’s miles away.”

“And perfect for not attracting any gossip. My friend the Rev Victoria Mortimer is a priest at the Cathedral there, knows of a shop in the City that can provide everything you want.”

I sighed.

“We are pretty busy this week aren’t we?”

“Rubbish. You go tomorrow. Train to Leeds and change there. I’ll get Vicky to meet you at the station.”

“I suppose so.”

“Good. I’ll phone her back to tell her.”

As Mary turned away I said,

“Mary, am I really meeting your expectations?”

She stopped dead in her tracks.

“What a silly question. Of course you are. If you hadn’t I’d have told you. You are doing more than I expected. Why the question?”

“I’m not but I don’t want to cause you trouble. I was silly to want those uniforms. Half the Ladies Circle would probably keel over and die if I wore them. The last thing I want is to cause you embarrassment. I’m sorry for putting you to so much trouble. We’d best forget the whole thing.”

“We will do nothing of the sort. You were right. I have my uniform. My housekeeper should have hers. Ok, so yours is somewhat unconventional but they are not risqué or revealing. The Uniforms stay and that’s my final answer.”

Mary’s tone told me that she’d bought into the idea which was my plan all along. After years of wearing designer clothes that usually fell apart after a single outing, it was nice to be wearing normal department store clothes but I wanted something different. The uniforms would set me apart.

Events conspired so that it was Monday before I was ‘put on the train’ by a determined Mary.

Her parting words were,

“Don’t forget, Vic will be waiting for you at the Station. You can’t miss her.”

She was right. Vic was immediately recognisable. Well, they couldn’t be many very leggy blondes, quite a bit over 6ft tall and wearing a Dog Collar now can there. To put it bluntly, she was gorgeous. I did wonder for half a second if all women Clergy were like her and Mary?

“Are you Victoria?” I asked slightly timidly as I approached her.

“Yes. I take it that you are Jess?”

“That I am.”

“Good. Let’s go I’m parked in a twenty-minute spot and my time is almost up,” replied Vic as she turned and headed for the station exit.

“We’ll take my car and park at the Cathedral. Then we have to walk I’m afraid. The part of the city where we are going is pedestrianized.”

“That’s ok. Mary warned me that might be the case.”

Fifteen minutes later, we were outside the shop. Vic put her hand on my arm.

“Mary told me about you. Dom and Lou are ok with people such as you.”

Then she grinned.

“They make some of the most wonderful pride dresses.”

It took me a second to realise what she’d just said. Then it dawned on me.

“Thanks for that.”

Then it also dawned on me that she wasn’t coming into the shop with me.

“Are you not coming in with me?”

“Sorry. I’ve got a class to take at the ‘Y’ but Dom will give me a call when you are done and we can go for Lunch and a tour of the Cathedral. I want the latest gossip on Mary.”

That was it, she was gone.

It turned out that Dom and Lou were former Tailors from London but had moved north so that they could follow a slightly slower pace of life. Then they’d gotten involved with the local LGBT scene and soon they were had more business than they knew how to handle.

They made me very welcome and after a cup of tea, we were in a back room where Dom did the measuring and Lou took down the details. Several times I laughed because they had this habit of finishing each others sentences. Lou would start one, Dom would finish and begin another and Lou would end it.

“Well Darling, we have been together for more than Forty years,” commented Lou when I mentioned it.

“We are just like any married couple,”

“Speak for yourself Darling. Just as long as I don’t get to wear the dress.”

And so it went on.

My measurements were soon taken and noted in a large leather bound ledger. Then we discussed material and the finer points of the designs.

Dom got very enthusiastic when I mentioned petticoats.

“Not enough women today know how to wear them,” he exclaimed.

“How should you wear them?” I asked feigning ignorance.

“Well, we think that they should be worn at the same length as the skirt. Not below, not above.”

“I think I get it,”

We spent the next hour going over the fine details of each dress. Every one of the sixteen yes, sixteen dresses and twelve petticoats would be slightly different design and colour.

Vic returned to the shop just we’d finished everything and a sizeable amount of money had been exchanged.

“All done?” asked Vic.

“We are,” replied Lou.

“And she’s going to look great,” added Dom.

“In our wonderful creations,” said Lou completing the sentence.

Vic laughed.

“You two are the greatest.”

“We know,”

“But thanks for the comment anyway.”

Vic took me to a small Bistro for Lunch.

Once we’d ordered she asked,

“So how is Mary? Did she say that we shared a flat when we were in training?”

“Mary is… Mary. Well that’s what I think. I owe her a lot. She gave me refuge when I needed it.”

“Ha, ha. That’s Mary to a ‘T’. I wondered how you met her.”

Then she dug into her voluminous bag and pulled out a dog eared copy of ‘Hello’.

“This is you isn’t it?”

My heart sank. There was a picture of me at the previous years ‘Royal Ascot’. I’d been there with Liam and entertained his guests.

“Yes that’s me, the phoney wife.”

“You weren’t married then?”

I looked at Vic and saw the cheeky grin on her face.

“We wore wedding rings and people assumed that we were married. That was the aim of it. I played a part and he paid for me to look like this,” I replied in a matter of fact way.

“Didn’t you have some good times?”

“Oh yes. I went to places and saw things I could have only… well, you know. It was my multi-year finishing school of luxury and hard knocks.”

“Hard Knocks?”

“Being the trophy or fake wife is not as easy as it looks. Firstly, there are the men. His business took him to all sorts of places. Places where getting into bed with me was the name of the game. I got a reputation for being cold as well as more bruises on my ass than I could count. Then there are the wives. They are worse. Firstly, a lot of them almost expect for their husbands to get me into bed. If I don’t then they take it as an insult because they think their husbands are not good enough for me. Those that don’t want me to bed their husbands are trying to bed mine. That was the final straw. I caught him in bed with his New York Office Manager despite her claims that she was a lesbian and he was gay. It made me realise that I was an appendage that could and would more than likely be discarded in the near future. So I left him instead of it being the other way round.”

“Wow! That is some confession.”

I laughed.

“Not a confession. Just me realising that I my time was up and that I had to make the break.”

“Mary told me how you changed trains and ended up on her doorstep. I didn’t believe it at the time but now that I’ve met you, I can believe it.”

I must have blushed. Any more revelations were spared by our meal arriving.

After Lunch, we walked to the Cathedral. When we were along, I asked Vic,

“How much about me did Vic tell you?”

Vic laughed.

“If you are wondering about your dangly bits then yes she told me. If I hadn’t have known, I would never have guessed. To be honest darling, you are a very feminine woman and I know many genetic women who aren’t as feminine as you. Was that what you meant?”

“Not really. As Mary’s ‘bff’, I just wondered how much she told you. I’ve never had a ‘bff’,” I replied sadly.

Vic didn’t answer but gave me a big hug right in the middle of the aisle of Durham Cathedral.

Vic then gave me the grand tour of the Cathedral. I was a stunning building. BM (before Mary I hadn’t been inside a church since I played one of the three kings in my primary school Nativity play a long, long time in the past.

Mary had given me an insight into a different world. A world where money and the acquisition of more and more of it, did not dominate every waking day and night. The atmosphere inside the building was for me intensely spiritual.

“May I sit for a while?” I asked Vic.

“Yes of course. It hits you doesn’t it?”

“Hit what?”

“The atmosphere, the peace.”

“Yes, yes it does. In this short time, it has grown on me.”

Vic sat beside me and spoke softly.

“I was a bad girl. I hung out with all the wrong people and had several scrapes with the law. Then one day, my school went on a visit to Canterbury. Three girls and I bunked off from the schedule and we went into the Cathedral. The others took a look at the inside and then headed off to the nearest McDonalds. I just stood there transfixed for what seemed hours. The beauty, the solace, the sense of peace just invaded every pore and cell in my body. It was then that I decided to become a Priest. Mary helped me in oh, so many ways. It is good for me to help you and her for a change.”

As much as I tried, I could not stop the tears from coming. Vic put her arm around me and we sat for a good half hour. No words were exchanged. There was no need.

The moment was ended by a party of Japanese Schoolgirls being shown around the building. Their guide kept up a running commentary in a very loud voice.

I got so annoyed I stood up and went over to the guide and said in a loud voice,

あなたは、ノイズを抑えることができますしてください。これは神聖な場所です。

(Can you please keep the noise down. This is a holy place)

The guide looked startled but took the hint and carried on her tour but with a lot less shouting.

“Where did you learn to speak Japanese?” asked Vic.

“I learned it for Liam so that I could understand what the wives were saying. I can also speak Spanish, half decent Cantonese and Arabic and enough Russian to swear like a trooper.”

Vic laughed.

“Mary said that there was a lot more to you than meets the eye. She was not wrong. I hope you two will be happy together.”

“Thanks for the vote of confidence in me Vic but we aren’t an item.”

“Pull the other one sweetie. I see the glint in your eye when you talk about her.”

There was no way I could answer that.

Vic came to my rescue.

“I have a little bit of business to attend to. Are you ok sitting here? I should be back in twenty to thirty minutes.”

“Sure. Off you go.”

I watched her disappear and thought back to her comment about Mary and me. She was right. Every since that night when I went into her room. Then all the problems it would cause began to rear their ugly head.

“No, it can’t happen,” I said out loud but quietly.

I’d been sitting there a while when I felt someone sit next to me. I turned to look at them and got a shock. Someone from my life with Liam was sitting right next to me.

“Donna? What on earth are you doing here?”

“Well, I could say the same about you Jess?” replied the much older woman who was grinning from ear to ear, then she added,

“I thought it was you but you’ve changed a lot but then when you brushed your hair back with the back of your hand, I knew it was you.”

“I’m sitting here enjoying the atmosphere.”

“Where’s Hubby Liam?”

I shook my head.

“Don’t know. Don’t care,” I replied in a matter of fact way.

“What! You left him?”

“It is not as if we were really married.”

“I wondered. You never argued. Really married couples argue all the time.”

“Perhaps. Where is Dimitri? As far as I knew, he never let you out of his sight?”

“Sight is one thing he does not have at the moment. Cataracts. He’s in a private clinic not far from here.”

“Will you tell him about me?”

She shook her head.

“As I said, you’ve changed. You seem a calmer happier person. Can’t say that for the clothes but I guess he left you with nothing.”

“I left him and yes I had nothing. But I have found some inner peace. Especially here today.”

“It is a beautiful building.”

“How long are you going to be on Dimitri’s arm?”

Donna flashed her wedding ring.

“It's been almost twenty years so far so it's gonna cost him a few mil to buy me out but I’m happy for the time being.”

Then she looked at her very expensive and very blingy watch.

“Gotta dash. Dimitri’s men will soon be sending out the search parties after me,” said Donna standing up.

I put my hand on her arm.

“You meant it about not letting on that you’d seen me?”

“Darling, you look happier than I’ve ever seen you. If there is someone out there making you this happy then go for it. I won’t let on.”

I stood up and hugged her. As I did so, I whispered,

“Yes there is someone and yes she does make me happy.”

Donna broke off the hug and after looking at me for a second blank faced, she grinned.

“Good for you, girl.”

Then she was gone.

I sat back down and tried to comprehend what had just happened. A blast from the past had come into my life for an instant and breezed out again. I was glad that I was a long way from Skipton when the meeting took place. It was a reminder of my past life and not one atom in me wanted it back.

Vic re-appear a little later.

“Vic, about what you said before?”

Vic smiled.

“I was just just speaking the truth. Mary is a good person and is really lucky to find someone like you.” said Vic with a very resigned tone in her voice.

I smiled back a Vic.

“Vic, to put it bluntly, you are a hot looking woman. I’m sure there is someone out there who would love to love you and not get bothered by the ‘dog collar’.”

Vic whispered in my ear,

“But they’d have to be a woman,”

“That does not matter, what I said still stands. There is someone out there who is right for you.”

Then I looked at my watch and said,

“Vic, I think I should go. I have a train to catch.”

As I watched Durham disappear from view, I realised that Vic was just as complex a person as me. Mary on the other hand was relatively simple person. Vic was different than the old me in that she had a purpose in life. Until I found Mary, I really didn’t have one but I did now.

[To be continued in Part 3]