My alarm clock wakes me up as normal at 7:30am, but even though today's a school day, it's no ordinary school day, not for me. As I skip down the stairs in my pink dressing gown and slippers, I'm immediately greeted by my mum, who wraps me in a tight hug before giving me a loving kiss and leading me into the living room, where I find a huge pile of carefully-wrapped presents sat on the sofa.

"Happy birthday, my special girl!" Mum coos, giving me another hug. "Twelve today! You're really not a little girl any more, another year and you'll be a fully-fledged teenager!"

"Thanks," I say, a little embarrassed by mum's gushing even though we're the only two people in the room. "And thank you for all the presents!"

"A lot of them were from your grandmother," mum says, handing me the house telephone. "You know the rules..." I giggle as I key the number into my phone, which only rings once before a familiar old-sounding voice answers.

"Happy birthday to you..." Grandma sings as I giggle harder. By the time she finishes the song, I'm practically in hysterics!

"Thanks, thank you so much for my presents!" I say excitedly.

"Have you opened them yet?" Grandma asks.

"Not yet, I've only just got up..." I say.

"And here I was thinking it was only teenaged girls who spend all day in bed," grandma tuts as I giggle again. "You're growing up too fast, young lady!"

"I know," I giggle. "Thank you again so much for my presents!"

"If I can't spoil my only granddaughter on her twelfth birthday, I'm not much of a grandmother, am I?" Grandma laughs. "Now go on and get opening!"

"I will," I say. "Thanks, grandma." I hand the phone back to mum, who ushers me to the sofa and hands me a package.

"Come on, you haven't got all day!" Mum says, and I giggle even harder as I unwrap my presents. It only takes me ten minutes, but when I'm done, I'm almost in tears from the presents I’ve received. I have several bottles of nail polish, two new lipsticks, new mascara, eyeliner and perfume. I've got a couple of books and some DVDs- which have the '12' certificate on the front circled, of course. I have two new skirts, two girly t-shirts, a posh new dress, new shoes (with a small heel on them) and a short-sleeved ballet leotard. Even the underwear makes me emotional- any ordinary girl who look at packets of panties and tights and think nothing of it, but to me they're as special as any gift I've received today. I want nothing more than to pull on my new clothes and model them for my mum, but today is still a school day, so when I get dressed, it's not my new light blue dress and low-heeled shoes that I wear, but my old grey pleated skirt and my black ballerina flats.

When I arrive at school, Nicole, Megan, Priya and Suriya are all there waiting for me with MASSIVE grins on their faces, and when I step out of the car, they all rush over to me and hurl streamers over my head.

"Oh my god!" I squeak as I bounce up and down excitedly. "I love you girls so much!"

"Happy birthday!" The girls all shout, bouncing up and down as excitedly as I am.

"Sooo," Nicole teases, "get anything nice?"

"Yeah," I say. "Things you'll be seeing tomorrow!" The girls continue to bounce up and down as I pick the streamers out of my hair.

"This is so cool!" Megan giggles. "MUCH better than your last birthday."

"Yep," I say happily. "Best birthday ever!"

The first few lessons- English, RE and German- pass smoothly, and at lunch, as always I'm sat around one of the outside tables, happily chatting about my party tomorrow, when I see something out of the corner of my eye that makes me sad- the sight of Harriet, my tormentor for the last two months, sitting alone, eating her lunch and looking miserable. Sensing that something's up, Nicole follows my eye line and catches sight of the lonely girl.

"God, she looks so miserable," Nicole sighs.

"Good," Priya snaps with uncharacteristic spite on her voice. "She doesn't deserve friends after the way she treated Laura."

"That's a bit harsh," Suriya chides her sister.

"I'm going to talk to her," I say, standing up and straightening my tights. Thankfully, my friends take this as an unspoken request to follow.

"Hi Harriet," I say softly.

"What do you want?" Harriet asks in a voice that contains much more confusion than aggression.

"It's my birthday party tomorrow," I explain. "We're all going out to have makeovers." I gulp before I continue speaking. "Would- would you like to come with us?"

"Laura, what are you doing?" Megan asks quietly. For a second, in Harriet's face I can see a look of pure happiness, before it's replaced by a look of spite.

"Eww," Harriet spits, "why would I want to spend the day with a FREAK like you?"

"Yeah, 'cause you've got many other friends, haven't you?" Priya snipes.

"Harriet... Is someone making you say these things to me?" I ask.

"Just leave me alone," Harriet snaps, turning her back to me and my friends.

"Well... I asked," I sigh, heading back to my table with the other girls.

"Exactly WHY did you ask?" Megan asks as we sit back down.

"Didn't you see her?" I say.

"She looked really miserable," Nicole sighs. "Did you see the way she smiled when you asked her?"

"She made her decision," Priya says bluntly.

"She's right," Suriya says. "Even if her dad is making her say these things, that doesn't mean that she has to say them, especially not to your face. You tried, that's all you can do."

"I guess..." I sigh, casting a backward glance at the girl who was, for a far too brief time, my friend.

After school I head straight home, where I change from my uniform into my new black denim skirt, a pair of hot pink tights and my new stripy top. Even though my hair is still only a couple of inches long, I clip it back with one of the new hair accessories I got today. I even spray on a little of my new perfume As I look in the mirror, I can't help but giggle at how far I've come since my last birthday. As Megan hinted at earlier, my 11th birthday party wasn't nearly as fun- especially as I was trying to be 'more of a boy' at the start of my last year at primary school. I invited Megan and two of my other girl friends over, but the party was dominated by the boys I was trying to integrate with at the time, we talked about football, played videogames, swapped stickers... None of which I enjoyed. Even a tenth of what mum has planned for tomorrow would have been preferable to what I actually did.

As I skip downstairs in my new clothing, eager to tuck into my birthday dinner- a tradition that HASN'T changed with my gender- I'm suddenly taken aback by a very worried-looking expression on my mother's face.

"You got another card in the post today," mum explains, handing me the sealed envelope. "I- I think it's from your father." My heart skips a beat at the mention of the man I haven't seen in over eight years.

"D-dad?" I ask.

"I'm sure that's his handwriting," mum whispers. Hesitantly, I rip open the envelope and take out the card inside. Predictably, the front cover says 'to a special son on his 12th birthday' and has a picture of a footballer on the front. When I open the card, though, I get the shock of my life when a £50 note falls out of it.

"Oh my god!" I gasp, carefully picking the red banknote off the floor and staring at it.

"Laura," mum whispers. "Obviously, you'll have to thank him for this... Has he enclosed his address in there?" Shivering slightly, I open the card again, reading the message inside.

"To my wonderful son on his twelfth birthday," I read aloud. "Today, you take the first step toward being a man, and whatever you do with your life, know that I'll always be proud of you and I'll always love you. Dad." I tear up as I read the message, prompting mum to give me a long, tender hug.

"Does- does he really mean that?" I ask. "I mean, if he saw me now, would he still-"

"He would mean everything he said in the card," mum says flatly. "Even if you are now his daughter, and you've taken the first step toward being a woman, rather than a man." I dry my tears quickly, as less than half an hour later, a knock comes at the door, which I open to be greeted with the smiling face of my grandmother.

"Happy birthday!" Grandma beams happily, giving me a tight hug. "Are you wearing perfume? What did I tell you about not growing up too fast?"

"Sorry," I say, prompting another hug from grandma.

"Don't you ever dare be sorry," grandma giggles, handing me my card. "Happy birthday again!"

"Thanks," I giggle, opening the card and giving grandma yet another hug.

"So," grandma says as we take our places at the dinner table, "did you get anything from your brother?"

"No," I whisper sadly. "Not even a card."

"Well he probably didn't post it in time, you know what he's like," grandma says confidently, with a tone that says 'if he didn't send you a card, I'm going to KILL him'. "It'll probably arrive tomorrow."

"I'm sure it will," mum says, laying the delicious-smelling meal on the table. "Now, get stuck in!" Smiling, grandma and I both help ourselves to the food, which we polish off very quickly, as well as the pink-coloured dessert mum prepared for the day!

After a long evening talking with mum and grandma I head to bed, but despite my full belly, I can't sleep, I'm that excited about tomorrow's party, and I'm awake long before 7am, showering and ensuring I'm fully 100% clean for the day's activities.

Our first 'activity' is a makeover & manicure at a local salon- one of mum's friends is one of the stylists there, so she was able to get us all in there for a cut-down price. For the trip, I dress very casually- just a pink hoodie, black tights and the skirt I wore last night- but when we get home, I've been promised a 'fashion show' where I get to wear my beautiful new dress!

My friends start arriving just after 9am- Nicole is first, giving me a MASSIVE hug as she enters my home.

"Happy day-after-birthday-day!" Nicole squeaks, before handing me a small, carefully-wrapped gift and an envelope. The gift turns out be a multicoloured elasticated bracelet, which I immediately slip on my wrist, much to Nicole's delight.

Megan is next to arrive, again greeting me with a gift (a bottle of pink nail polish, despite the fact we're all getting manicures today), a card and a hug. Last to arrive are Priya and Suriya, whose gift of my very own sari earns both girls HUGE hugs! I actually have to fight the urge to immediately change into the beautiful garment, but we don't have the time for that as the five of us are whisked off to the salon.

Our first treatment at the salon is done to our nails- as we're not allowed to wear coloured nail polish at school, each of us gets our nails coated with a shiny clear polish- though I do also get the numbers '1' and '2' on my middle two fingers! We then have our make-up for the day professionally applied- nothing too outlandish (five pre-teen girls walking around in full make-up would look a little suspicious, after all), but we each get mascara, eyeliner and shiny lip-gloss applied to our faces, before our hair is washed and styled. My short 'pixie' cut does look cute, but I find myself envying the long, flowing hair of my four friends. Once we're done in the salon, it's almost lunchtime, so mum takes us to a nearby pizza parlour. On the way, however, I can tell something's not right with one of my friends.

"Are you okay?" I say to Priya, who's been subdued all day.

"I'm fine," Priya says, forcing a smile on her face, but I can tell that she's hiding something. When we arrive at the pizza place, we place our orders- Priya and Suriya share a plain cheese pizza, whilst Nicole, Megan and I share a larger pepperoni pizza.

"How's your birthday so far?" Suriya asks me with a happy giggle.

"I am LOVING every second of this," I gush, staring happily at my new nails and fiddling with my newly-feminine hair. "I just wish this didn't have to be my first birthday as Laura." I can't help but feel guilty as a sad look spreads over mum's face.

"Well you're going to have loads and loads more birthdays as Laura!" Nicole squeaks as Priya excuses herself to use the toilet.

"Show me your nails again!" Suriya says, and I happily comply. I'm vaguely aware of other diners staring at our party, and every time I get a thought in the back of my mind that says 'are they staring at me because I'm a boy, or because we're all girls?'

"This is all so cool," Megan sighs. "I'm going to have to persuade my dad to do something like this for my birthday!"

"Me too!" Suriya giggles.

"Me three!" Nicole laughs.

"Priya's birthday's next," Suriya says. "I'll have to get her to ask for a party like this!"

"She's taking her time in there," Nicole says, bringing a frown to mum's face- almost as if she knows what's wrong.

"Suriya, can you go and check on your sister, please?" Mum asks.

"What do you think's wrong?" I ask as Suriya heads to the toilet after Priya.

"I'm sure it's nothing," mum says with a smile on her face. "Now eat your pizza!" I resume eating, but less than a minute later, Suriya returns and whispers something in mum's ear- something myself, Nicole and Megan are clearly not meant to hear. Almost immediately, mum reaches into her bag for her phone, dialling Priya & Suriya's father and asking him to come and collect the two girls.

"What's wrong?" I ask, devastated that my party- my special, first-of-its-king party- has been seemingly ruined.

"Priya's... Not well," mum explains.

"Will you be able to come back for the fashion show?" I ask Suriya, who simply shrugs her shoulders. Minutes later, Mr. Malik arrives and leads his daughters back to his car. Priya- who'd only just left the toilet- looks almost terrified.

"She's just feeling a little unwell," mum explains as she leads myself, Megan and Nicole back to her car. "Now come on, you've got your best dresses at home, time to show off those new makeovers of yours!" The three of us put smiles on our faces, but it's clear that we're all worried about our friend.

When we arrive home, however, all negative thoughts are put out of our minds after mum transforms our living room into our very own fashion show, complete with catwalk and small backstage area. After changing into our dresses- Nicole into a long, floral black dress, Megan into a long, long-sleeved purple dress and me into my new light blue dress with its short sleeves and swishy knee-length skirt. Despite the cold, I strip off my tights and slip my feet into my new heeled shoes- much to Nicole & Megan's delight! Nicole and Megan go first, 'saving the best until last', and even though it's only my two friends and my mum in the 'audience', when it's my turn, I strut down the catwalk like I'm a supermodel at a big, fancy launch, one hand on my hip and the other swinging freely. I let the camera get a good, long look at my perfectly made-up face, my beautiful dress and my posh shoes. I'd originally wanted to be a princess on my birthday, but right now... I feel more like royalty than any princess!

Mere minutes after finishing the 'fashion show' and preparing to change back into our day clothes, a knock comes at the door, and Suriya and Priya- looking much happier than she did a few hours ago- come into the house, giving myself, Nicole and Megan big hugs- Priya especially.

"I'm... Sorry I left you in the lurch earlier," Priya says, clearly still anxious about what happened earlier.

"No, you didn't do that!" I insist. "It's not your fault if you're not well."

"Well, she's better now!" Suriya giggles. "And we've still got our dresses here..." I look expectantly at mum, who simply rolls her eyes and sets her camcorder back up. Priya and Suriya both giggle excitedly and change into their posh dresses, before strutting down the catwalk for the camera just as I'd done a few minutes earlier. After a quick dinner- still wearing our 'fashion show' dresses, much to mum's dismay- I bid farewell to my friends, seeing them off with goodie bags filled with DVDs of the fashion show, two bottles of nail polish each from the salon and 12 home-baked cookies each. After my friends have all left, I immediately head over to mum and give her a big hug.

"Thank you so much!" I squeak excitedly. "This has been the best birthday EVER!"

"I'm glad," mum says happily. "Now let go before you crease your new dress!" I giggle and release my mum before sitting down on the sofa, smoothing my new dress beneath me.

"It's just a pity Priya got sick halfway through," I muse, prompting a VERY uncomfortable look from mum.

"Priya... Wasn't sick," mum says hesitantly. "She- she, um, she started her first period whilst at the restaurant."

"Oh," I say. "Umm..."

"Laura, a period is where-" mum says.

"I know what a period is," I say quietly. "We studied them in biology at school."

"So, um, you know it's a perfectly normal thing to happen to a girl?" Mum asks.

"Yes," I whisper. "All girls except me." This time, it's mum who gives me the hug, not even noticing that she's creasing my dress in the way she warned me not to do.

"You know that's not necessarily a bad thing?" Mum asks, but I still remain upset.

"I know," I say. "But all my friends will get their first period, and I won't."

"You're worried that you'll feel left out," mum sighs, and I nod. "We'll talk about this with Doctor Williamson on Friday, she should be able to do something. Obviously she can't magically cause you to have periods, but at the very least, we can talk about it. Now take off your dress! It's almost time for bed anyway." I smile and nod- mum is, of course, correct, and less than an hour later, I'm in my pink nightdress and tucked up in bed- but I can't shake from my mind the thought that as I and my friends get older, biology will mean that we'll grow into very different people- and grow apart as a result.

I spend Sunday sat in front of my computer completing my homework, before returning to school on Monday, my careful makeover and manicure washed away but still leaving the schoolgirl I've always dreamed of becoming. Much to my relief, upon entering the school gates, I'm greeted by Priya and Suriya- and the older girl is looking MUCH happier than she did even on Saturday evening.

"Hi Laura!" Priya giggles. "I LOVED the party at the weekend, sorry again that I had to leave halfway through..."

"Don't be sorry!" I say, giving Priya a quick hug. "You... Were feeling a little off, that's all." My eyes and Priya's eyes briefly lock, and it becomes clear in that instant that she knows that I know what happened.

"Anyway, I'm feeling better now," Priya says, before leaving myself and Suriya alone and heading off to class.

"I take it your mum told you what REALLY happened?" Suriya asks.

"Yeah," I whisper. "Poor Priya... Is she okay?"

"She will be," Suriya says. "I guess it'll happen to us all, sooner or later."

"...Not all of us," I say with a sad voice.

"Oh god, Laura!" Suriya gasps. "I'm so sorry, sometimes I- I just forget..."

"Don't be sorry!" I giggle as I stare down at my skirt and my tights-covered knees. "Believe me, I'd LOVE to forget..."

I quickly settle back into the routine of a school week after the excitement of the weekend. Throughout the week, Priya also grows happier and happier, to the point where she's back to her normal cheerful self by Wednesday lunchtime- which is also the time Nicole has an important announcement for our group.

"Girls," Nicole says as we sit down at our usual dinner table, "I'm sure you're aware that this school has a drama club, and that very same club is asking anyone interested to sign up this afternoon?"

"No thanks," Priya laughs. "I had a look last year, it's not really my cup of tea."

"So you'll be okay dancing on stage in a big, fluffy tutu, but not acting in normal clothes?" Nicole teases, making Priya giggle more.

"Now I'm year 8, there's always dance club..." Priya says, making the whole table giggle.

"Well I'M in," Suriya says defiantly, poking her tongue out at her sister.

"Megan?" Nicole asks expectantly.

"...Not really my thing," Megan grimaces. "I only really go to ballet because you all go."

"Aww," Nicole coos, making Megan blush. "Laura, how about you?" It's plainly obvious what decision Nicole would rather I made, and I do enjoy drama... But it would help to hammer home one unfortunate fact.

"I dunno," I say. "You know someone would point at me and say 'she's acting, she's not really a girl'..."

"No one would say that!" Nicole insists.

"And if they do, I'll kick their butt!" Suriya says, making her sister roll her eyes at her.

"At least come along to see what it's like, pleeeeease?" Nicole asks, and I can't help but let out a girlish giggle at her insistence.

"Okay, I'll see what it's like," I say.

"Yay!" Nicole cheers, giving my shoulders a quick squeeze. Less than ten minutes later, Nicole, Suriya and I are stood outside the main drama classroom, waiting in a queue to sign ourselves up for the class.

"Oh no," Suriya groans, looking at the back of the queue. "Look who it is..." I turn around, and shudder as I see Harriet join the back of the queue. Fortunately, she hasn't seen me, so I turn my back to her in the hope that I won’t have to interact with her- though if we're both going to be members of the same school club, that may not be possible.

"Whatever," Nicole says confidently. "If she wants to make trouble, that's HER problem. You'll have friends in the club, Laura. SHE won't." I smile happily as I step up to the desk and speak with Mrs. Ingram, the school's head of drama.

"Hi girls," the 30 year old teacher says warmly. "Good to see so many year sevens taking an interest this year! Just put your names down on the paper and I'll add you to the club's mailing list. Do you have any questions about the club?"

"Yes," I say nervously. "I'm, um, I'm Laura White." When Mrs. Ingram doesn't respond to my 'confession', I elaborate further. "I'm, um, I'm a girl, but before, when I was at primary school, I was-"

"It's okay, Laura, I know about your situation," Mrs. Ingram says with a kind smile. "What was your question?"

"If I do any acting," I ask hesitantly, "will I be acting as a boy or as a girl?"

"That depends on the role," Mrs. Ingram says. "Laura, I'm not going to ask you to do any part you don't feel comfortable with. You yourself said that you're a girl, so if you'd rather only play female parts, that's fine with me." I grin happily, before writing my name and form on the piece of paper underneath Suriya's and Nicole's names. On the way out of the club, we pass by Harriet, who stares at us all with disdain. I brace myself for the type of verbal attack that's become Harriet's trademark, but much to my surprise, she remains silent, allowing me to go on my way without another word.

"What do you suppose that was about?" Suriya asks.

"Don't know, don't care!" Nicole beams happily. "Will you and Priya be at ballet tonight?"

"We should be okay to go, yes," Suriya says.

"And you, Laura?" Nicole asks.

"Of course!" I giggle, making the three of us descend into fits of giggles as we head to our next class.

Later that evening, after the end of the ballet class, the five of us are sat on a sofa in the small reception area in our dance uniforms, waiting for Mr. Malik to pick us up in his people carrier. My new leotard attracted a lot of compliments- especially as, for one night only, I was allowed to dance without my skirt- but it was Priya who was attracting the most attention, much to the Indian girl's dismay.

"Hey girls," Miss Fullerton says as she sees us still waiting in reception. "Great class tonight, you're all coming along brilliantly, but I noticed some of you seemed a little distracted- are you all feeling okay?" We all look at each other, wondering how exactly to word our response, when a look of realisation spreads across our teacher's face.

"Oh," Miss Fullerton breathes. "Oh, I see."

"I-" Priya begins, before being silenced by the older woman.

"I don't need to know any more," Miss Fullerton says. "I can give you all some leaflets, recommend some websites that offer help and advice, especially for when you're dancing. Just wait right there- I'll print you them out now." As Miss Fullerton types away at her computer, I feel compelled to approach her desk.

"Miss Fullerton," I say quietly.

"What's up, Laura?" The young dance teacher asks with a smile.

"I, um, I won't need any of those websites," I say quietly, trying not to let the other girls hear, even though I know they'd understand.

"Well I'm giving you a print-out anyway," Miss Fullerton says with a smile. "Regardless of how you were born, when you're in my class, you're one of my girls, and I treat ALL my girls equally. On that note, from what I saw today, if you don't want to wear your skirt in class any more, you don't have to."

"Really?" I ask. "But what about my-"

"As I said, I don't need to know any more," Miss Fullerton says, handing me a sheet of paper with a list of websites on it. "I didn't see any problems tonight, I don't see why there'd be any problems any other night." I grin widely as I return to my friends, printout in hand. As I climb into the people carrier, shivering from the cold dressed in just my leotard and my tights, I feel truly immersed in femininity for the first time ever. Just as Suriya had done on Monday, for a brief, wonderful second I actually forget that I was ever a boy. In that instant, it's as though I'd been Laura my whole life, and when that second ends, I feel truly miserable. I remain in my ballet uniform for the rest of the night- I only have one lesson a week, so the uniform would need to be washed anyway, and the more time I spend at ballet, the more I enjoy it. There, I'm not just a girl, I'm a ballerina- well, kind-of- and to me, nothing says 'beautiful and feminine' like the ballerinas I see in the videos Miss Fullerton posts on her school's Facebook page.

And yet, whilst my friends' bodies will change into ones similar to the ballerinas I see in those videos, mine will change in an entirely different and unwelcome way. I know from biology that my muscles will grow, my voice will deepen, I'll start to grow facial hair... And my genitals will grow, too. Looking in the mirror, even in a tight leotard, I'm really not that different physically from a 12-year old girl, even around my crotch, but it can't last forever.

Throughout the rest of the week at school, I feel unhappy at the thought of my impending change. Even though I've been accepted as a girl by virtually everyone at school, the fact remains that biology still says otherwise- a fact I keep in mind as I attend my regular meeting with my counsellor on Friday afternoon.

"Hi Laura!" Dr Williamson says as I enter the office. "You're looking well today, I love your hair!"

"Thanks," I say, smoothing my school skirt underneath me as I sit down.

"I understand it was your birthday last week, that's why you had to reschedule our appointment?" Dr Williamson asks.

"Yeah," I reply.

"Did you get anything nice?" The middle-aged counsellor asks.

"A few things," I say. "Clothes, make-up..."

"I've had a twelve year old daughter," Dr Williamson laughs. "I know the drill."

"I didn't get anything from my brother, though," I moan.

"You just need to give him a little time," the counsellor tells me, mum backing her up with a nod. "I'm sure that eventually he'll come to accept you as his sister."

"And I got £50 from my dad," I say quietly.

"Have you spoken to him since you started on this path?" Dr Williamson asks, and I shake my head.

"The card said 'to my son'," I say. "I haven't seen the man in over eight years- I have nothing to say to him."

"Okay," Dr Williamson says. "We can put him to one side for now. Did you enjoy your party?" I smile happily and nod.

"It was the best birthday I've ever had," I say with a wide grin.

"There was a slight... incident at the birthday party, though," mum says. "Something Laura wanted to discuss today. One of Laura's friends, a slightly older girl, she- she entered puberty for the first time, if you understand what I mean."

"I see," Dr Williamson says stoically. "Laura, what did this make you feel?"

"Envious," I say honestly. "It reminded me that I'm not really a girl, not inside. Then, at ballet on Wednesday, there was I moment when I thought I really was a girl, it was like I'd never been a boy."

"Can you describe that moment to me?" Dr Williamson asks.

"It was like, I was getting into a car with my friends," I explain. "We were all wearing out ballet uniforms, it was cold, we were shivering but we were happy, and I just felt... Normal."

"And how did you feel when the moment passed?" The counsellor asks me.

"Upset," I say. "Especially as Priya's started puberty, it reminded me that when I start puberty, it'll be in the wrong way."

"And turning twelve has brought it home that that will happen sooner rather than later?" Dr Williamson asks, and I nod.

"How you're feeling is perfectly normal," the counsellor continues. "Most of the young men and women I've spoken to who are on the same journey as you have already passed puberty by the time they get to me, but for those like you who haven't reached it yet, it can be a terrifying thought, especially as you've already committed to living life as a female."

"Is there anything that can be done for Laura?" Mum asks.

"Yes," Dr Williamson says, "but only with your consent. I am able to prescribe anti-androgen tablets for Laura."

"Are- are they oestrogen pills?" Mum asks, and much to my disappointment, Dr Williamson shakes her head.

"No," the counsellor says. "I can prescribe those at a later date, but these tablets are solely to prevent a male puberty. They won't start Laura down the path to becoming chemically female, but they will prevent her body from being flooded with testosterone. These effects are completely reversible, should Laura change her mind at a later date." No chance of that happening... I think to myself.

"Laura, do you want these pills?" Mum asks, and I immediately nod, a happy smile on my face.

"As I said, the effects are totally reversible," Dr Williamson explains, typing into her computer "But for now, they will allay any fears that Laura might have about undergoing a male puberty."

An hour later, I leave the doctor's office with the prescription in my hand, and the following Monday, I would take the first of these special tablets. Even though Dr Williamson said categorically that they wouldn't cause me to develop as a girl, I can't help but feel happier in myself knowing that the drugs are in my system. As I look at the older boys at school- those who have all but completed their puberty, I know for certain that at no point in the future will I be joining their ranks. From here on in, my place is with the girls, and as I greet Megan and Nicole at the school gates, I once again momentarily forget that I ever used to be a boy.

When I remember my 'situation' this time, however, I don't feel sad, but excited- excited about what my future will bring, as Laura, as a bona fide, 100%, fully-fledged girl- the girl I was always supposed to be.