“Double turn!” The teacher yells, and I comply, pirouetting twice on my right leg. “Point your back leg… And pose!” I throw my arms up in the air and grin widely as the music finishes, earning- alone with Nicole on my left, and Suriya on my right- a rapturous round of applause from the assembled students.

“Great work girls!” Miss Ellison, our dance teacher, says. “The bell’s going to go in ten minutes so you’d all better get changed, Laura, follow me to my office please.” I nod sadly, waving to Nicole and Suriya as they head down to the girls changing rooms whilst I follow Miss Ellison to her office, where I peel off the tight black shorts I’d pulled on over my baby blue leotard and replace them with the grey tights and pleated skirt I was wearing earlier. After fastening my blouse and tying my tie around my neck, I slip my feet into my tiny black ballerina pumps and head downstairs just in time to catch Nicole and Suriya emerging from the changing rooms, having changed back into their own uniforms.

“You know,” Suriya says sadly, “we always save a space for you between us in the changing room. Same goes for PE, too…”

“Aww,” I sigh. “You needn’t bother, they’ll NEVER let me in to change with you…”

“Well they SHOULD!” Nicole insists. “You’re as much as a girl as any of us!”

“Yeah, but-“ I sigh.

“No buts!” Nicole says, interrupting me almost before I have a chance to speak. “You’re a girl! End of! The sooner the school recognises that, PROPERLY recognises that, the better, and I know all the girls in the club agree too!”

“Yeah, but I bet their parents wouldn’t…” I moan as we head to our final lesson of the day. After the bell rings to signify the end of the school day, I head outside to the car park, but it isn’t my mother who’s picking me up today. Instead, myself, Nicole & Suriya climb into the back of Suriya’s father’s people carrier to be whisked away to a school a few miles away from our own. There, the three of us enter the school’s vast assembly hall- a hall much larger than our own school’s- where we’re greeted by the drama teacher.

“Hi girls,” the middle-aged man says in a friendly voice.

“Hi Mr. Easton,” we say simultaneously, barely suppressing a giggle. I scan the room, looking at the various faces- an action that doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Looking for someone, Laura?” Suriya teases.

“No,” I retort, before sighing. “Yes…” I keep scanning the faces of the children in the room, before smiling involuntarily as I find the face I’ve been looking for.

“Hey Laura!” Phil says, his eyes lighting up as he sees me. “Umm, you look nice, I like your hair!” I giggle as I involuntarily play with the short blonde hair I’ve been growing over the last six months, the hair that I had styled into a VERY feminine pixie cut this Saturday just gone.

“Thanks,” I giggle. “You look nice too…”

“Laura’s got a boyfriend…” Nicole and Suriya both playfully sing, making me blush and turn round to angrily face them.

“So do both of you!” I retort, sticking my tongue out at them.

“Yeah, but we’re not as seeeeerious as you two so OBVIOUSLY are!” Nicole teases as we sit down together- and away from Phil, sadly.

“We’re not ‘serious’,” I sigh. “I just like him, that’s all…”

“Yeah, well I like him too,” Suriya giggles. “But you LIIIIKE him!”

“Oh- shut up,” I say as Mr. Easton hops onto the hall’s vast stage to address the assembled children.

“Okay,” the dark-haired teacher announces. “You’ve all received your scripts by email, I trust you’ve been learning them and practising at home. The first parts we’ll be casting will be Anna, Sophie and Meredith for the girls, and Jacob and Jackson for the boys, so split yourself into groups of three girls and two boys where possible.” Unsurprisingly, myself, Nicole & Suriya quickly arrange ourselves into a group and begin rehearsing the script.

“Girls,” I say quietly. “I- I don’t think I’m going to audition for a role this time…”

“Oh no, why not?” Nicole asks.

“Laura, are you feeling okay?” Suriya asks.

“I’m fine,” I giggle, disguising the tiredness I’ve been feeling a LOT as of late. “It’s just- I was in the last play, it’s time for one of you to get a turn!”

“It doesn’t work like that,” Suriya laughs. “You were in the play as you were the best actress!”

“Yeah!” Nicole laughs. “Besides, there are three main female roles, so it has to be us three that get the roles, right?”

“Well- I guess,” I concede. “As long as we all audition for different roles!”

“Ooh! Ooh!” Suriya excitedly squeaks. “Dibs on Sophie!”

“I call Meredith!” Nicole says before I have a chance to speak.

“Guess I’ll be Anna, then!” I giggle happily, before the three of us resume our rehearsals. An hour later, after having run through our audition scene countless times, I grab my bag and prepare to leave when I’m stopped by someone calling my name from behind.

“Laura!” The familiar voice of my ‘boyfriend’ calls. “Hey, Laura, wait up!” I turn around to face the attractive young man as Suriya and Nicole giggle uncontrollably.

“What’s up, Phil?” I ask, forcing a smile on my face despite friends’ teasing.

“I just- I just wanted to give you this,” Phil says, handing me a red envelope which obviously has a greetings card inside. “In case I don’t get to see you again before Saturday… Happy Valentine’s Day, Laura.” I start to blush as I take the envelope from Phil, carefully placing it in my blazer pocket.

“I, um, haven’t got you a card,” I mumble. “Umm, Happy Valentine’s Day, Phil.” Blushing heavily- and with a LOT of kids watching, I lean in and give Phil a quick kiss on his cheek, earning ourselves lots of ‘oohs’ from all the girls in the hall.

“Okay, that’s enough,” Mr. Easton says. Phil and I both turn bright red as we leave the hall with our respective friends.

“She’s a man-eater…” Nicole jokingly sings as we get back into Mr. Malik’s people carrier.

“Show us the card! Show us!” Suriya excitedly squeaks. Still blushing, I take the envelope out of my pocket and carefully open it, removing the card and reading the message inside.

“To my first-ever Valentine,” I read, cringing more and more with every word. “You’re forever in my mind, Phil.”

“Aww, that’s so sweet!” Nicole coos as I put the card back in my pocket. “You HAVE to get him a card!”

“I’m not going to see him before next Monday,” I feebly argue.

“Then post it to him!” Suriya insists.

“I guess it WOULD be rude not to…” I mumble, prompting cheers from my two friends. I arrive home shortly after 6pm, collapsing in a heap on the sofa, tired from a day of school, dancing and acting.

“Good evening, diva!” Mum chuckles. “Did you have fun at rehearsals?”

“Yeah,” I say with a smile, which only widens when I think about Phil and his card. “Auditions are in a few weeks so I need to get in all the practice I can…”

“Well you can’t practice on an empty stomach!” Mum says. “I’ve got a pizza in the oven, do you want anything with it?” My stomach rumbles at the mention of my upcoming meal.

“No, I’ll be fine,” I half-lie. As hungry as I am, a whole pizza is a LOT of food… Thank god I’ve still got some laxative pills left. Sure enough, after dinner, I head straight upstairs to change out of the uniform I’ve been wearing for almost twelve hours, before taking my laxative pill and changing into my favourite black denim skirt and a pair of thick black tights- a far cry from the thick grey tights and pleated grey skirt I’ve been wearing all day. A short while later, after finishing my homework, the laxative ‘takes effect’, and I climb into bed glad to be rid of the bloated feeling I seemingly get from every big meal nowadays

It seems that the only physical change that's taken place since I turned thirteen is that I've got wider, and in all the wrong places. My breasts simply aren't growing- I wear my training bra every day, but I really don't need to, not like my friends, all of whom have started puberty. Priya- who, at fourteen, is the oldest of us- is now very much a young woman rather than a girl, and at 5' 2" stands much taller than I am. I'm still taller than Suriya, but she's catching up, and I'm far smaller than any of the boys in my year. I sigh sadly as I stare at my still pre-pubescent body as I fall asleep, praying that when I wake up, I'll be a woman...

I wake up the following morning at 7:30 as usual, and after shaking the early-morning fog out of my head, take my boy blocker and pull my school uniform on over my small body, ready for the day ahead.

As always, I’m greeted at the school gates by my six close friends- Nicole, Suriya, Priya, Megan, Harriet and Ashley, who has quickly become as much a part of our group as any of the rest of us, despite the fact that the rest of us- myself included, of course- wear skirts, and he of course has to wear trousers to school. He assures me that he HAS worn the tights Suriya ‘lost’ last term, but only a few times and only for very short periods- nowhere near the amount of time I had my tights on yesterday, or will have them on today.

“Hey girlies!” I squeak happily. “And that includes you Ashley, as long as you hang out with us you’re an honorary girlie!” Ashley giggles nervously at my playful teasing, though it’s clear from his occasional glances at our grey legs that he’d prefer to be more than just an ‘honorary’ girl- something I wholly sympathise with.

My second lesson for the day is PE, which means gymnastics, which means that as always, I head to the teacher’s office to get changed, but Miss Edwards- our new gymnastics teacher- intercepts me before I can enter the cramped room.

“Laura, can I have a word, please?” The young, stern-faced woman asks. I nod and follow the teacher into her office, fearing the worst- am I about to be prevented from wearing my leotard to gymnastics, or worse yet, prevented from doing PE with the girls altogether? She surely can’t do that if I go to gymnastics club, right?

“Laura,” Miss Edwards says. “Recently I’ve been receiving complaints from some of the girls regarding you not being allowed into the girls changing rooms.”

“I’ve never been in there, I swear,” I babble, before Miss Edwards holds up a hand, silencing me.

“I believe you,” the teacher says. “The complaint was that you SHOULD be allowed in. Obviously, we can’t authorise that- it would require every single parent to be in agreement, and that will never happen. What I can do, however, is bend the rules slightly. From now on- if you agree- you can change in the girls’ toilets.”

“I- I’m not allowed into the girls’ toilets…” I say meekly.

“You are now,” Miss Edwards says with a smile. “At least, to change and during lessons. During break and lunch you’ll still need to use the staff or disabled toilets.”

“Oh my god, thank you so much!” I say, taking my bag into the abandoned toilets, where I strip out of my uniform and stretch my long-sleeved leotard over my body. I have a wide grin on my face as I join my classmates on the stairs up to the gymnasium.

“What are you so happy about?” The also leotard-clad Nicole teases as we start practising our stretches and tumbles.

“I’ll tell you later,” I giggle. On the way down from the gymnasium after the lesson, I stick close to Nicole, Suriya and Harriet, making sure they’re watching as I enter the teacher’s office… and exit it mere seconds later, taking my school bag to the girls’ toilets to change.

“Laura!?” Nicole squeaks excitedly.

“Guess who doesn’t have to change in the office anymore?” I tease in a sing-song voice.

“Oh my god, that’s so cool!” Harriet squeaks. “I mean, it’s not the proper changing rooms, but it’s still a girls’ room… Wait right there.”

“Harriet?” I ask as the ginger-haired girl heads into the changing rooms, only to emerge a few seconds later carrying her own school bag. Catching on to what Harriet has planned, Nicole and Suriya both run into the changing rooms, returning shortly afterward with their own bags. I almost have tears in my eyes as the four of us pull our school uniforms back on- Nicole, Suriya and I pulling our skirts, tights and blouses on top of our leotards, whilst Harriet strips out of her shorts and t-shirts, completely unfazed by stripping to her underwear in front of me. As far as we- and anyone looking in- is concerned, we’re just four girls in their early teens getting changed after PE. And that’s precisely what we are.

Before we can leave the toilets, however, we’re intercepted by the young teacher who’d just ‘liberated’ me from changing in her office- and she does NOT look happy.

“Girls,” Miss Edwards says. “The toilets were meant for Laura to use to change back into her uniform because she can’t use the changing rooms- you CAN, so you should change in there.”

“But it’s not fair that Laura should have to change alone at all,” Harriet argues, making Miss Edwards’s glare turn even darker.

“You know perfectly well WHY she has to change alone, Miss Cooper,” Miss Edwards says, making Harriet visibly back down.

“But we change with Laura all the time at home,” Suriya says. “For ballet, or when we’re trying on each other’s clothes…”

“And it’s not even like Laura LIKES girls,” Nicole says. “She’s got a boyfriend…”

“If one of the girls was a lesbian you wouldn’t be allowed to ban them from the changing rooms,” Harriet says. “Why should Laura be banned just because she’s different?”

“Believe me when I say the school has discussed this over and over again,” Miss Edwards says. “Just- don’t do it again, okay?”

“Yes, Miss Edwards,” the four of us say, before slinking off to break, where Megan, Priya and Ashley are already sat at our regular table.

“Hey, girlies and honorary girlie!” Nicole says excitedly as Megan and Priya make way for myself and Suriya to sandwich Ashley between us- a position he originally found embarrassing, but doesn’t seem to mind too much anymore!

“Hi girls,” Ashley says with a smile as he links his fingers with Suriya’s under the table.

“So go on then,” Priya insists. “Show us…”

“Yeah, show us again!” Nicole insists, making me blush as I pull the Valentine’s card out of my pocket.

“To my first-ever Valentine,” Nicole reads, snatching the card away from me as I cringe with embarrassment. “You’re forever in my mind, Phil.”

“Have you got him a card?” Priya asks, sighing with frustration when I shake my head.

“You HAVE to!” Nicole insists. “Even if you give it to him on Monday, AFTER Valentine’s!”

“And that isn’t even Laura’s biggest news!” Harriet says smugly, making me groan with further embarrassment.

“I…” I sigh. “I may have been allowed to change for PE in the girls’ toilets instead of the teacher’s office.” I cringe as a cheer goes up from everyone at the table, attracting the attention of the nearby children.

“It’s hardly a big deal…” I vainly argue.

“Nuh-uh!” Nicole retorts.

“Yeah,” Suriya says. “It means the school’s FINALLY seeing that you really are one of the girls!” I giggle happily as the bell rings, signifying the end of our break, and yet I can’t help but feel sorry for Ashley as the younger boy heads off to his next lesson with a frown on his face- as much as I’m being accepted as ‘one of the girls’, his secret is still only known to two other people…

After our next lesson, I- along with Nicole, Suriya and Harriet- head to drama club, where we once again meet up with Ashley (who, like a good boyfriend, devotes most of his attention to Suriya). We spend most of our time rehearsing for the upcoming auditions for the play. As the bell rings to signify the end of lunch, I prepare to leave, but am surprised when Ashley taps on my shoulder.

“What’s up?” I ask the terrified-looking young boy.

“Umm,” Ashley says, holding out a small, pink envelope. “Just wanted to give you this…” I giggle as I take the envelope- obviously ANOTHER Valentine’s card- from Ashley.

“Aww, thanks Ash!” I say, giving the young boy a friendly hug before we both head to our next lesson. However, when I sit down at my desk with Nicole, Harriet and Suriya, the latter girl has a VERY stern expression on her face.

“Why is MY boyfriend giving YOU a Valentine’s card?” Suriya asks, an angry tone slipping into her light Indian accent.

“Umm…” I stutter- I genuinely don’t know why Ashley would give me the card, it’s not like he’s ever said he fancies me or anything…

“Laura’s got TWO boyfriends…” Harriet sings in a cheeky voice.

“No she doesn’t!” Suriya snaps. Before I have the chance to retort, our teacher begins the lesson, all throughout which Suriya shoots me some VERY dirty looks. After the lesson ends, I head down to my mum’s car by myself- Suriya is still obviously angry with me- but before I can get in the vehicle I’m stopped by someone calling my name.

“Laura!” Megan calls. “Oh, hi Mrs. White!”

“Hi Megan,” mum says.

“Hey, what’s up?” I ask my oldest current friend.

“I was wondering, you know…” Megan says shyly. “Can I… Can I come home with you to do homework?”

“Umm…” I say, looking expectantly at mum, who rolls her eyes and chuckles.

“Get in,” mum says, and Megan and I both chuckle as we pile onto the back seat of the car. At home- after a quick tea- we both head up to my bedroom to complete our homework, but it’s immediately obvious that homework isn’t the sole reason Megan wanted to come to my house today.

“Megan,” I say quietly. “Why did you REALLY want to come round tonight?”

“Laura…” The bespectacled girl sighs. “You- you’ve changed a lot recently, and I’m not sure I like it.”

“What do you mean, ‘changed’?” I ask. “Well, obviously, yes I’ve changed from primary school, but even you have to agree it was a change for the better!”

“Yes, but recently,” Megan sighs. “It’s like you’re a completely different person, and not just because you’re now a girl- it’s the gymnastics, the acting… Boys…” I sigh as I remember the unopened Valentine’s card I still have in my blazer pocket- Megan is, of course, correct.

“You’re right,” I sigh. “But that’s the whole point, I don’t WANT to be who I used to be. When my dad took me, back in August… I actually thought about killing myself, if I hadn’t been rescued.” Megan gasps as I tell her this most intimate secret, and reaches over to give me a big hug.

“I’ve not told anyone this,” I say. “Not even my mum, and you must NOT tell anyone you know, okay?”

“Laura…” Megan whispers, tears in her eyes. “Wh-why?”

“I just couldn’t go back to being a boy, I couldn’t,” I say. “I want to leave my past completely in the past.”

“Does that include me?” Megan asks. “Because when we were at primary school, we really did have fun at times, didn’t we?”

“At times,” I say. “But we’ve had so much more fun SINCE primary school, haven’t we? With ballet, our regular make-overs… Remember the ‘fashion show’ we did for my 12th birthday?”

“Yeah, that was pretty cool,” Megan giggles. “Guess I’d better get used to being friends with ‘Laura the teen idol’, heh.”

“And I’d better get used to being friends with ‘Megan the teen idol’!” I giggle, but all Megan can manage is a feeble chuckle.

“Hardly an ‘idol’,” Megan sighs. “You’re the one getting Valentine’s cards, you’re the one who everyone likes, you’re in all the clubs, on all the teams… Most of the time I have to hang out with Harriet as we're the only ones who don't have boyfriends, and I don’t even LIKE her…” This time, it’s my turn to reach over and give Megan a hug.

“Okay, first, I’m NOT on teams, I’m not allowed on any of them,” I say. “Second… You really ARE pretty!”

“Yeah, but you’re prettier and you used to be a boy!” Megan sighs.

“I wasn’t prettier when I had all my hair cut off,” I retort, making Megan chuckle. “Trust me, you are a girly, gorgeous girly girl!”

“Yeah, but your opinion doesn’t count,” Megan says, before a grin creeps across her face. “Because you’re NOT a boy!”

“Tell you what,” I say. “How about every Tuesday, you come to my house or I go to yours and we hang out together, like we used to?”

“That sounds great,” Megan says, her grin widening. “Just like old times.”

“Not EXACTLY like old times,” I giggle. “In the old times, I used to be a BOY!” Megan and I giggle together for the rest of the night before her mother comes to pick her up, leaving me to reflect alone on what she said. When I started ‘making the change’, I was eleven- still a little boy, and all I wanted to be was a little girl. Now I’m thirteen… Priorities change, but Megan is right, in a way- some of the old times WERE fun… But as I get older, life gets more and more complicated, but also more and more enjoyable, a feeling that’s only strengthened when I hear a notification come from my tablet computer- a new Facebook message from none other than my boyfriend. Just twelve months ago, the mere thought of having a boyfriend would’ve been unthinkable, but here I am, giggling at the mere mention of his name.

‘Hey Laura,’ Phil types. ‘You free?’

‘Hey Phil,’ I reply. ‘Yep, not doing anything!’

‘Cool,’ Phil types, leading to a brief pause before he types again. ‘I meant ‘are you free Friday’?’

‘Um, what’s happening on Friday?’ I ask.

‘I wanted to know if you wanted to come to my place for dinner,’ Phil types. My jaw drops as the message comes through- is Phil actually asking… No, he couldn’t be, surely?

‘…Are you asking me on a date?’ I type, my fingers starting to tremble.

‘If you’d like,’ Phil replies with a smiley emoticon.

‘Brb,’ I type, my mind buzzing as I skip downstairs, my mind buzzing from Phil’s invitation.

“Mum…” I say cautiously.

“What is it, Laura?” Mum asks, clearly concerned by my tone of voice.

“Is it…” I say hesitantly. “Is it okay if I go to Phil’s for dinner on Friday?” At first, a look of shock sweeps over mum’s face, before being replaced by one of concern.

"Isn't it your regular meeting with Dr Williamson on Friday?" Mum asks, making me sigh with frustration.

"Yes, but I can miss the odd one or two," I plead. "PLEASE can I go? It'll, you know, be the first time I've had dinner with him, and it IS Valentine's Day the following day..." Mum giggles, suddenly realising the significance of what I'm asking.

“Aww, my little girl’s very first date!” Mum coos. “I trust his parents WILL be there, right?”

“Well, it IS at his house…” I giggle as mum rolls her eyes at my cheeky response, before sighing happily.

“Find out what time and whether or not his parents will DEFINITELY be there,” mum says. “But otherwise, I’ve got no problem with it at all!” I giggle excitedly as I skip back upstairs to my room, where I turn my attention back to my tablet computer.

‘It’s a date!’ I type, with a string of smiley faces and ‘X’s.

‘See you on Friday!!!’ Phil types. ‘G2G now, talk soon!’ Phil logs off, and as I climb into bed later that night, my mind is racing with possibilities for the date. Obviously, my rational brain tells me that it’ll just be a quiet, relaxed meal with Phil and his family, but my imagination is also telling me all sorts of things- it IS the day before Valentine’s Day itself, maybe he’ll want to dance with me… I may even experience my first kiss...

Of course, I haven't even begun puberty yet so biologically, I shouldn't be feeling this way about Phil, or any boy- whether it's because I like the boy himself, or because I like the idea, the status that comes with having a boyfriend, that it makes me more of a 'real girl', I don't know... All I do know is that I want this date. I NEED this date.

I wake up the following morning still fidgeting with excitement, and I still have a giddy grin on my face as mum drops me off at the school gate to be greeted by my six friends. My grin subsides when I see Suriya staring at me with the same angry stare she was yesterday, though I’m confident my news will sweeten her mood.

“Hey girlies!” I squeak excitedly.

“SOMEONE’s in a good mood today…” Nicole teases as we head to form.

“Well, I MAY have been asked on a date yesterday…” I giggle.

“By Phil?” Suriya asks, smiling as I nod.

“Well, he IS my only boyfriend…” I tease.

“Oh, that’s so cool!” Nicole squeaks. “I am SO using this to guilt Jordan into doing something special!”

“Same here with Ashley,” Suriya says. “ESPECIALLY as he’s giving Valentine’s cards to other girls!”

“Uhh, sorry about that,” I cringe. “For what it’s worth, I haven’t opened it yet…”

“Oh, whatever,” Suriya laughs. “HE gave it to YOU, not the other way round!” The two of us- along with Nicole and Harriet- giggle as we head to form. After the first few lessons of the day- and a morning break that sees Ashley cringing when the existence of his card to me is made known- I head into the toilets adjacent to the girls’ changing rooms, my school bag in hand, and I begin stripping off my pleated skirt and my grey tights when I’m suddenly surprised by the presence of two other girls, one either side of me.

“Come on Laura, hurry up, we’ll be late!” Nicole says as she strips out of her own uniform and stretches her tight leotard over her body. I look to my right to see Suriya doing the same, and I can’t help but sigh happily at my friends’ gesture.

“But what Miss Edwards said yesterday…” I say feebly.

“Oh whatever,” Suriya giggles. “We’re not letting you change out here alone!”

“I have the best friends EVER!” I giggle as I pull on my own leotard and follow my friends up to the gymnasium, where we begin our stretches and tumbles. After 45 minutes, I’ve worked up a good sweat, which proves unpleasant when I pull my already-worn tights back on over my glistening legs!

“I’m going to need to shave my legs again,” I moan as I pull my skirt back on and adjust my tights so they’re wrinkle free.

“Ooh,” Nicole teases as she straightens her own tights. “Want your legs to be nice and smooth for PHIL?” I stick my tongue out at my friends as they giggle at me, before we exit the toilets to be intercepted by Mrs. Hall, our gymnastics teacher and leader of the club we’d just attended.

“Mrs. Hall,” Nicole says, guilt written all over her face. “Um, we- we were just in there because-“

“I didn’t see anything, I don’t need to know,” Mrs. Hall says. “It’s actually Laura I need to speak to.”

“What is it, Mrs. Hall?” I ask, confused by why the teacher should feel the need to speak to me specifically.

“It’s about the school gymnastics team,” Mrs. Hall explains. “Laura, over the past few months you’ve really applied yourself in gymnastics club, and as a result you’ve got good at it. REALLY good. As such… I’ve been speaking with some of my counterparts at other schools- and I want you to understand that at this stage, we’re ONLY talking, we haven’t decided anything- but if they’re all in agreement, we may be willing to let you join the school’s girls’ gymnastics team.” My jaw drops at the news, and almost immediately, Nicole and Suriya drag me into a small group hug.

“Thank you, thank you so much!” I squeak.

“You won’t be thanking me when I enter you into some of the more advanced competitions!” Mrs. Hall laughs. “Now go on, I don’t want you to be late for your next lesson.”

“Thank you!” I say again as I follow Nicole and Suriya to my final lesson of the day, after which I head out to the school car park where mum is waiting in her car.

“Is it my imagination or has your smile got even WIDER since this morning?” Mum asks.

“…Maybe a little,” I giggle, making mum also laugh.

“GOOD,” mum says. “What’s got you so excited this time, ANOTHER date?”

“No,” I retort. “The school might be letting me join the gymnastics teams, that’s all.”

“’That’s all’?” Mum asks. “Laura, that’s a really big deal!”

“It’s not guaranteed yet,” I say, trying to diffuse my mum’s excitement. “My gymnastics teacher just thinks I might be good enough to join the team, and she wants to enter me into competitions…”

“Well it’s still fantastic news,” mum insists. “The school are finally starting to get rid of all these silly conditions and are seeing you for what you are- a REAL girl.” I giggle happily as we drive home, where- after a thankfully light meal- I swap they grey tights and purple leotard I was wearing at school for the soft pink tights and royal blue leotard I’ll be wearing during my ballet class. Last month, the seven of us joined Miss Fullerton’s intermediate class- hence the change in leotard from light blue (which I still wear to the school’s dance club) to royal blue. I would have advanced to the class earlier- having passed the necessary exam back at the start of December- but neither Megan nor Harriet had passed the exam, and the six of us- which later, of course, became the seven of us- made a pact that we’d either dance together or not at all- even if we meant that it’d take us extra time to graduate onto pointe shoes, which Miss Fullerton reckons we’ll all be ready for by the end of the year.

All of us, that is, except for Ashley, as I’m reminded when I arrive at the dance studio to be greeted by Nicole, Megan, Priya and Suriya & Harriet in their royal blue leotards, and Ashley in his tight black leggings and white t-shirt. Ashley took to ballet like a duck to water- hence why he’s joined us in the intermediate class so quickly after starting- but it’s very clear that, despite all the attention he gets from the girls, he’d rather be dressed the same way we girls are.

During the lesson, we practise pas de deux, and as the only boy in a class of fifteen (the other boy who’s usually in our class is away this week), Ashley is in high demand (much to Suriya’s frustration), but I eventually get a brief chance to dance with him.

“Hey Ash,” I say as I link my hands with the young boy and allow him to manipulate my body.

“Hi Laura,” Ashley says. “I’m sorry about the card… Have you had a chance to read it yet?”

“Not yet,” I say. “Ashley, you DO know I have a boyfriend, right?”

“I know,” Ashley whispers. “I don’t fancy you- no, I do, but- you know what I mean.” I giggle at the shy boy’s stuttering as he continues explaining himself. “It’s just- I wrote something in the card, just a thank you for supporting me through- well, you know.” I sigh sadly as we continue dancing.

“Have you STILL not told your parents?” I ask.

“How can I?” Ashley moans. “You’ve met my dad, he’s barely tolerant of YOU, god knows how he’d react if I told him about myself…”

“Huh, he’s always been polite to me,” I muse. “Why don’t you just tell your mum, then?”

“She’d just tell dad,” Ashley moans.

“Yes, but you’d have her on your side,” I point out. “The more people you tell, the less of a burden the secret will be. And I GUARANTEE the other four girls will keep your secret, too. I told Megan something the other day that I could NEVER tell my mum… I trust that she won’t spill, and you should too.”

“I’ll think about it,” Ashley says as our practise tome together comes to an end. At the end of the lesson, the seven of us pull on our coats, ready to head home, when Ashley calls the six of us to a private corner of the dance studio.

“Girls,” Ashley says. “There’s something I need to tell all of you.” Ashley looks expectantly at me, before continuing.

“Go on,” I say, nodding encouragingly.

“This is really hard for me to say,” Ashley says, nearly hyperventilating with nerves.

“What is it?” Priya asks with a chuckle. “You’ve not got my sister pregnant, have you?”

“Oh- shut up, he’s only eleven and I’m only twelve!” Suriya snaps at her sister, holding Ashley’s hand for support. “Are- are you sure you want-“ Suriya asks Ashley, who interrupts her before she can finish.

“I… I’m like Laura,” Ashley says, and I can’t help but smirk at the wording the young boy chose.

“You- you like Laura?” Nicole asks. “But I thought you and Suriya were going-“

“I AM like Laura,” Ashley clarifies. “All my life… I’ve wanted to know what it was like to be a girl.” I look over at Harriet- mindful of the grief she gave me last year- but much to my surprise, she’s smiling wider than anyone.

“Do your parents know?” Priya asks, and Ashley simply shakes his head in response.

“They can’t know,” Ashley sighs. “I’m the only boy in the family, they’d be really upset if I told them…”

“But YOU’RE really upset now,” Nicole says, sighing sadly as Ashley nods his head, before briefly glancing at me- clearly his knowledge of my ordeal with my former parent last summer has made him more reluctant to reveal his 'true' self to his own parents.

“No wonder you prefer hanging out with girls,” Harriet says. “Here I was thinking you just had really, really good taste in friends!”

“Well, I obviously do,” Ashley says, making all of us giggle happily. “I- I should go now, my parents will be waiting…”

“See you round, Ashley!” Nicole giggles. “Good job you’ve got a gender-neutral name!” Ashley laughs as he heads off to his parents’ car, and before the six of us have the chance to discuss the ‘situation’ further, Mr. Malik arrives in his people carrier to drop us all home. The second I arrive home, however, I head straight to my room and switch on my tablet computer, logging into Facebook to find the rest of my friends already online and waiting for me.

‘OMG!!!’ Nicole types. ‘Can you believe that about Ashley!?’

‘Could you have believed that about ME?’ I retort with a sticking-out tongue emoji, promoting ‘lol’s from all the girls.

‘Well, yeah, but you’re so OBVIOUSLY a girl!’ Nicole types. ‘Ashley… Did you already know?’

‘I did, so did Suriya,' I reply. 'I’ve been trying to get him to tell the rest of you for AGES.’

‘Glad you did!’ Harriet types. ‘Always knew he was cool, now I know why!’

‘Does he ever dress up much?’ Megan asks.

‘Not really,’ I reply. ‘Doesn’t have that many clothes to dress up IN, his sisters are all younger than him, obviously he can’t wear his mum’s…’

‘If my old clothes weren’t going to be given to my sister I’d give them to him in an instant,’ Nicole types.

‘I’ve not got any younger sisters,’ Harriet types. ‘He’s more than welcome to my old school skirt!’

‘Same here,’ Megan types. ‘I don’t need my old ballet leotard either, he can have that too!’

‘Sorry,’ Harriet types at the same time as Megan’s message comes through. ‘I meant to say SHE’s welcome to my old school skirt!’

‘Hehe!’ I type. ‘Hang on, let me invite Ashley into the convo…’

‘Ashley Moore has joined the conversation,’ reads the notification in the chat window.

‘Hey Ash!’ I type, as do the other three girls.

‘Hey girls,’ Ashley replies. ‘About what I said tonight…’

‘Do NOT back out of it!’ I order with a smiling emoji, prompting ‘lol’s from the other girls.

‘Oh no,’ Ashley types. ‘I meant everything I said. I just wanted to say thanks for supporting me.’

‘We’re your friends,’ Nicole types. ‘We’ll ALWAYS support you, boy or girl!’

‘PREFERABLY girl!’ Harriet types, prompting ‘lol’s from the rest of the conversation.

‘We were just discussing how we have LOTS of clothes we don’t wear any more,’ Nicole types. ‘They’re either going to go in the bin or to a charity shop… Unless you can think of anyone else who might want them?’

‘I couldn’t, really…’ Ashley types.

‘Oh don’t be silly!’ Harriet types.

‘I don’t have anywhere to hide them,’ Ashley argues.

‘You hid those tights you ‘found’ didn’t you?’ I type with a winking emoji.

‘Lol!’ Harriet types. ‘Did he ‘find’ them in your hand by any chance?’

‘Well… Maybe Suriya’s hand,’ I type with another winking emoji.

‘I could always ‘lose’ my old ballet tights after tomorrow’s lesson,’ Nicole types with a winking emoji of her own

‘Well… Okay then, as long as you don’t want them anymore,’ Ashley types.

‘Yay!’ Nicole types, closely followed by myself, Harriet and Megan

‘I’ll bring in my old skirt to school tomorrow!’ Harriet types.

‘Um, I’ll not be able to get it into my bag,’ Ashley types. I start to type a response when I’m interrupted by two more notifications- ‘Priya Malik has joined the conversation’ and ‘Suriya Malik has joined the conversation’.

‘Hey girlies!’ I type, an identical message from Nicole coming in at the same time.

‘Hey girls and honorary-but-maybe-soon-not-honorary-girl!’ Priya types.

‘We were just discussing how we have lots of clothes we don’t wear any more,’ I type, ‘and how they’d be ideal for someone a bit younger, say around 11 years old…’

‘I don’t know,’ Priya says. ‘Don’t like the idea of going behind Ashley’s parents’ back.’

‘What they don’t know won’t hurt them,’ Suriya types. I giggle at the thought of the two sisters- who are probably sat next to each other right now- getting into an argument over Facebook.

‘We still haven’t solved the problem of how you’d get the clothes to me,’ Ashley types.

‘Simple,’ Suriya types. ‘Just tell your mum you need help with homework, I’ll bring the clothes to your house in my bag.’

‘Not sure my parents would approve of me being alone with a girl,’ Ashley types, making me sigh with frustration.

‘How about two girls, then?’ I type. ‘If I come too I can carry more clothes with me, and your parents wouldn’t worry that you’re doing whatever the hell it is they think you’re doing!’ A vast hail of ‘lol’s follows from everyone in the conversation.

‘Sounds great!’ Ashley types. ‘I’m already getting excited!’

‘I STILL say we should tell Ashley’s parents,’ Priya types. ‘If they find out we’ve been going behind their back they will be even more upset than if we just tell them now.’

‘Believe me, that’s simply not possible,’ Ashley types. ‘I g2g now, got to finish homework. See you tomorrow!’

‘See you tomorrow, fellow girlie!’ I type as Ashley logs off. The rest of us also log off shortly afterwards, but not before we each choose an old item of clothing to donate to the ‘Ashley pile’. As I’ve only been a girl for eighteen months- and have barely grown in that time- I don’t have that many clothes, and those I have still fit me, but I’m determined to make a contribution, so I fish an old school blouse out of the wardrobe, one I don’t wear after it got a large ink stain on the sleeve, along with a frayed denim skirt I’ve worn to death and is far too tatty to wear out, but would be PERFECT for Ashley. I toss both garments into my school bag, hiding them under my school books, before changing into my nightdress and sliding into bed, where I quickly fall asleep after the day’s exertions at gymnastics and ballet.

I drag my still-groggy form out of bed as my alarm wakes me, as always, at 7:30. Just over an hour later, I’m stood at the school gate, my uniform wrapped around my body and my boy blocker in my tummy, working its magic.

“Hey Laura!” Nicole giggles. “I hope you’ve got something cute and girly in your bag…” I giggle as I open my bag, showing the girls the skirt and blouse I’ve packed. The other girls also giggle as they open their bags- even Priya, who’s carrying an old school skirt in her bag, along with a beautiful jade green sari.

“I still say we should tell Ashley’s parents,” Priya sighs as she heads off to her form, whilst Harriet, Nicole, Suriya and I head to ours. Needless to say, when we showed Ashley the ‘gifts’ at break time, he was almost bouncing up and down in his chair with excitement- especially when Suriya revealed that she’d brought along an unopened packet of panties as well, so that Ashley’s outfit, whatever it will be, will be ‘complete’. The rest of the school day drags- pun not intended- until home time and, later that evening, our second ballet lesson of the week. Suriya and I have both persuaded our parents to let us go round to Ashley’s after ballet to ‘help him with homework’, so after our lesson is complete, Suriya and I pull pink t-shirts and short denim skirts on over our dancewear, before following Ashley and his mother out to his car. Before I get into the car, however, my heart skips a beat as I see a VERY unexpected face coming toward me along the street.

“Ph-Phil?” I ask.

“Hi Laura!” The good-looking young boy says.

“What are you doing here?” I ask.

“My sister’s going for a night out with your ballet teacher,” Phil explains. “I asked if I could come along to, you know, say hi…”

“Hi,” I giggle excitedly as my friends all watch with great interest. “I’m, um, I’m looking forward to tomorrow…”

“Me too,” Phil says nervously. “Are- are you on your way home?”

“I’m just going to a friend’s house,” I say, pointing to Ashley and Suriya in the car. “Just to help him with homework.”

“…Oh,” Phil says, clearly surprised by my friend being a boy. I open my mouth to explain the situation, but am interrupted before I can speak by the honking of Phil’s sister’s car horn.

“…I should go,” Phil says, walking off before I can even give him a kiss on the cheek.

“Was that your boyfriend, Laura?” Ashley’s mother asks as I climb into the car, sandwiching Ashley between myself and Suriya on the back seat.

“Yeah,” I say happily. “Thanks for letting us come home with Ashley, Mrs. Moore.”

“Thank YOU for offering to help him with his English!” Mrs. Moore says. “I’m so glad Ashley’s got friends like you and the other girls.”

“WE’RE so lucky to have Ashley as our friend!” Suriya giggles, giving Ashley a quick cuddle. Immediately as we arrive at Ashley’s house, we slip off our shoes before heading up to his bedroom. Ashley has a large family- he has three sisters- but still has his own bedroom, so once we arrive, Suriya and I open our bags to show Ashley the ‘gifts’ inside. In addition to my skirt and blouse and Priya’s skirt and sari, he has an old pair of ballet tights and a short, floaty skirt from Nicole, a flowery dress and an old ballet leotard from Megan, another school skirt and a pair of shorts from Harriet and two pairs of black tights and some make-up from Suriya.

“This is all so amazing, thank you so, so much!” Ashley gushes as he examines the delicate items.

“Do you want to try some on now?” Suriya asks.

“Yeah,” I agree. “I mean, we’re both still wearing OUR ballet gear… Haven’t you ever wanted to dance as a girl?”

“All the time,” Ashley sighs, picking the ballet tights and leotard off of his bed. “Can- can you give me some privacy?”

“Of course,” Suriya giggles, leading me out onto Ashley’s landing. As we wait for Ashley, I can’t help but muse on how right Suriya was when she said that we were lucky to have him as our friend, even though we’re the ones helping him rather than the other way round. The excitement I saw in Ashley’s eyes as he picked the ballet gear off his bed was a look I remember well- it was one I’d had in my eyes many times, not least on my first day of secondary school. I’ve spent 13 years being a younger sibling- and only recently truly become a ‘little sister’- it’s nice to be a big sister to Ashley, to help him in the ways my own older sibling didn’t help me at the start of my journey.

“Okay,” Ashley says, opening the door slightly so that Suriya and I can re-enter. Sure enough, Ashley is stood in his room dressed in just a pair of pink tights, with Megan’s leotard bunched around his waist like a pair of panties.

“Let me help with that,” Suriya says, stretching the leotard up Ashley’s torso until he is able to slip his arms into the armholes. “There! Now you’re a proper ballerina!”

“This is so cool!” Ashley squeaks, bouncing up and down in a VERY feminine manner- a way I and my friends have done on many, many occasions. Looking at him- or rather, looking at her, Ashley could easily be just another one of the girls. His hair- HER hair is no shorter than mine, and after Suriya applies even a small amount of mascara and eyeliner to her face, the ‘illusion’ is complete.

“How does it feel to be a girl?” I ask.

“AMAZING,” Ashley says as she pulls on my old skirt, walking around her room as Suriya and I applaud happily. “It’s, like, this was just meant to be, you know?” As I watch Ashley, it’s amazing how quickly she falls into the role as a girl- her walk is feminine, her body language is feminine, even her voice sounds girlier… It’s like I’m meeting the ‘real Ashley’ for the very first time- and so is her girlfriend, who’s smiling even wider than Ashley herself.

Of course, after an hour of dancing, dressing up and yes, doing a little homework, the time comes for Suriya and I to leave, and I can’t help but feel guilty as Ashley is forced to wash off her make-up and change into a pair of trousers and a boy’s jumper, whilst I’m still dressed in my beautiful feminine clothing. As Ashley bids us farewell, I can tell that he’s upset to be back in his ‘normal’ clothes and deeply envious of myself and Suriya in our skirts and pink tights.

“Any time you need ‘help’,” I say to Ashley as we leave, “you know where to get it!” I wink, and Ashley immediately gets what I mean by ‘help’.

“See you tomorrow, AshLEY!” Suriya giggles, giving Ashley a quick kiss on the cheek as we leave.

After I arrive home, I finish off the rest of my own homework, but not before taking a laxative pill- with all the exercise I’ve been getting from gymnastics and dance, I’d hoped to get away without taking one for the rest of the week, but I’m feeling increasingly bloated today, and my leotard feels extra-tight as I peel it off my body. After my homework is done, I switch on my tablet computer and am immediately greeted by a Facebook message as I log into the social networking site.

‘Hey Laura,’ Phil types.

‘Hi Phil!’ I reply, a smile involuntarily creeping across my face.

‘Who was that boy you went home with today?’ Phil asks, making my smile drop.

‘Um, he’s just a friend,’ I type. ‘From school.’

‘Okay,’ Phil types. ‘You still coming round tomorrow?’

‘Of course! XX’ I type. ‘Surprised you need to ask!’ Before Phil can send his next message, a thought crosses my mind- he DID see me go home with another boy, a boy I’m close to… He can’t be THAT jealous, surely?

‘Phil,’ I type before my boyfriend has a chance to respond, ‘Ashley IS just a friend, nothing more. In fact, he’s Suriya’s boyfriend. You have nothing to ‘worry about’, lol.’

‘I’m not worried,’ Phil types, but I instantly see through his lie.

‘Just jealous, then?’ I retort with a sticking-out tongue emoji.

‘Laura,’ Phil types. ‘I really, really like you… So obviously other boys will too…’

‘Well they’ll just have to like from afar, won’t they?’ I reply with a winking emoji. ‘YOU’RE my boyfriend. And besides, Ashley’s not like other boys.’

‘How so?’ Phil asks. I pause before replying, mindful of just how much Ashley had to trust me to let me in on his secret- but if I can’t tell my own boyfriend, who can I tell?

‘He’s kinda like me,’ I reply, using the same words Ashley herself used yesterday. ‘Likes to wear girl’s clothes. Think he might actually BE a girl, on the inside, I mean.’

‘Like you,’ Phil replies with a smiley.

‘Yeah,’ I reply with a smiley.

‘G2G now, still got homework to finish,’ Phil types. ‘Was great seeing you today, see you tomorrow at mine!’

‘See you! XX’ I reply just as Phil logs out of Facebook and my stomach begins to growl from the medication I’d taken before switching on my tablet computer.

After the laxative has worked its magic, I head to bed thinking of my boyfriend and my new ‘little sister’, before quickly falling into a deep sleep.

I wake the following morning as always at 7:30am, taking my boy blocker and changing into my school uniform before heading into my wardrobe and picking out my newest favourite dress- a slender, light turquoise dress with short sleeves and a knee-length skirt. Aside from a narrow belt, it’s plain, but very pretty and also quite grown-up- a perfect dress for my date today.

I arrive at the school gate to be greeted by all six of my friends, and I’m almost disappointed to see Ashley wearing a pair of trousers today instead of either of the two school skirts he now owns.

“Hey Laura!” Nicole giggles excitedly. “Big date tonight!”

“It’s just dinner with his parents, hardly a ‘big date’…” I retort, though inside, a very large part of me wishes it WAS a big date…

“And how did your big DAY go yesterday?” Harriet teases Ashley, whose cheeks turn a bright red as we head into the school building.

“It was amazing,” Ashley sighs. “Just wish I could do it more often…”

“Um, hello? You can!” Priya giggles, giving me a quick cuddle. “All you have to do is tell your parents and you could wake up every day looking like this!” I beam a wide, goofy grin, making all my friends- including Ashley- giggle girlishly as we head to our respective classes. At break, we all head to our usual table to eat our food. As usual, Ashley is sandwiched between myself and Suriya on our bench, but unlike before he seems perfectly comfortable, chatting as though he’s always been one of the girls- which, in a way, he is.

“Soo,” Nicole teases, pointing at Suriya and Ashley. “Are you two going to have a hot date tonight too?”

“Yeah,” Harriet teases. “Are you both going to get dressed up in fancy dresses, wear fancy make-up maybe?”

“If only,” Ashley giggles.

“You could always wear my old dress,” Megan giggles. “So envious of you guys with your dates…”

“We don’t even have a date tonight!” Suriya protests.

“And besides, you’re hardly the only single lady,” Harriet giggles. “Don’t worry, I’ll make sure we have fun tonight!” Megan giggles happily with the ginger-haired girl, closely followed by the rest of the table.

"I really wanted to thank you all for what you did," Ashley said, reaching into his pocket and producing four pink envelopes. "So I figured..." Priya, Nicole, Harriet and especially Megan all sigh happily as Ashley hands them their cards.

"They're more 'thank you' cards than Valentine's," Ashley continues. "I just, you know, wanted to show my appreciation for you all SOMEHOW..."

"You are the best boy ever!" Harriet laughs as she reads her card.

"You know you'll make my boyfriend jealous?" Priya laughs as she slips her own unopened card into her bag.

"Not to mention making your sister jealous!" Suriya snipes. "Besides, you've already got plenty other cards..." Priya giggles at her sister's teasing, which only serves to remind her of how popular she's become as of late. Once break ends, the seven of us all head to our next class- but not before we six girls take it in turns to give Ashley big thank you hugs!

At the end of the day, I head to my mum’s car, ready to go home, when I’m once again interrupted by someone calling my name from behind.

“Hey Laura!” Nicole calls, all but dragging Megan and Harriet behind her. “Hi Mrs. White!”

“Hi girls,” mum sighs. “Why do I get the feeling I’m going to be taking more than one girl home tonight?”

“Only if that’s okay,” Nicole says, making my mum roll her eyes. “We want to help Laura get ready for her big date…”

“Get in,” mum laughs. “Though you’ll have to call one of your parents to take you home, okay?”

“Already asked my mum,” Nicole says smugly as she gets in the front passenger seat whilst I find myself sandwiched between Megan and Harriet on the back seat. Sure enough, the second we arrive home I’m marched up to my bedroom, where I strip to my bralette and panties as my friends get to work, first by plucking my eyebrows, shaping them into perfect feminine arches, then applying a liberal layer of make-up- mascara, eye liner, light pink eye shadow, frosty pink lip gloss and lip liner. My finger and toenail are repainted in my favourite light blue polish which complements my dress perfectly, and my hair is brushed out into a cute, fun style. Even though I normally look much younger than I actually am, when I look in the mirror now I see a beautiful teenaged girl staring back at me.

“Oh my god, you are going to knock him DEAD!” Nicole gushes as I pull on a pair of clear, nude-coloured tights, followed by my dress and a pair of black shoes with a 1” heel.

“Hang on,” Nicole says, taking her new smartphone out of her pocket. “HAVE to get a picture of this!” I strike a pose as Nicole takes several photos of me.

“Don’t upload them to Facebook until Phil’s had a chance to see me in the flesh!” I plead.

“Oh please, as if I would,” Nicole snorts. “Texting them to these two, Priya, Suriya and Ashley, on the other hand…” I giggle happily as the four of us head downstairs, where mum gasps and tears start to well in her eyes as she sees me for the first time.

“Wow,” mum gushes. “Stay right there, I’ve got to take a picture of this, my little girl on her first ever date…”

“Mum!” I playfully scold. “Less of the ‘little’ please?” My mother and my friends all giggle as I pose for yet more photographs, showing off my make-up dress and nails for the camera before we head out of the house, my friends heading to Nicole’s mum’s car with me getting into my mum’s car with her. I stay silent during the drive to Phil’s- my nerves threatening to consume me- and by the time I ring his doorbell I’m shaking so much I can barely walk.

“Hi Laura,” Phil- who also looks frozen with nerves- says as he answers the door. “Please come in…”

“Thanks,” I say, handing Phil a carefully-written card and following him to his dining room, where his parents and older sister are already sat and waiting for us. “He- hello, thank you for inviting me into your home…”

“That’s perfectly alright,” Mr. Brooks says. “Please take a seat, Laura.” I sit down next to Phil at the dinner table, elegantly smoothing my dress underneath me as I lower myself onto the chair.

“I love your dress,” Victoria- Phil’s sister- says.

“Thanks,” I say, still grinning nervously.

“I hope you like chicken!” Mrs. Brooks says, placing a large pot full of a delicious-smelling casserole in the middle of the table.

“Mum’s chicken casserole is the best food in the world,” Victoria says as she fills her plate. I take a small portion- obviously I don’t want to seem too rude, but the meal smells VERY rich… I’ll obviously need to take another laxative tonight…

“So Laura,” Mrs. Brooks says as she sits down, “Vicky tells me that you study ballet at Krystie Fullerton’s class?”

“Yeah, on Wednesdays and Thursdays,” I say. Despite the older woman’s kindly face and tone of voice, I can’t help but feel that I’m being interrogated.

“Yeah, Krystie’s always going on about Laura and her friends,” Victoria giggles. “She calls them her ‘Little Angels’.”

“Oh, how sweet!” Mrs. Brooks laughs as I blush.

“Stop it, you’re embarrassing Laura!” Phil pleads, only making his mother and sister giggle even more.

“I don’t mind, really,” I say.

“A prospective actress AND ballerina?” Mr. Brooks chuckles. “I should hope not!”

“I do gymnastics too,” I say, hoping to appear at least a little outgoing.

“Oh, that’s cool!” Victoria says. “I should introduce you to my friend Mary, she actually competed in national gymnastics competitions when she was younger.”

“Are you on the school team?” Mrs. Brooks asks, before a subtle cough from her husband makes her realise her faux pas. “Oh… I’m sorry, Laura…”

“Obviously we’re not going to hold it against you, the way you were born,” Mr. Brooks says in an almost solemn voice. “If Phil has accepted you as a girl and wants you to be his girlfriend, then that’s good enough for us.”

“Absolutely,” Mrs. Brooks says. “And you truly are a very, very beautiful girl.”

“Definitely,” Phil says to me, making me giggle as our eyes meet.

“Thanks,” I giggle. “And they’re actually trying to rewrite the rules so I can join the school team.”

“Really?” Phil asks. “That’s so cool!”

“It is!” Mrs. Brooks agrees, his solemn mood steadily improving. “Do you know yet what it is you want to be when you’re older?”

“I really, really want to be an actress,” I say. “I loved doing the play I did last year with Phil. We’re actually rehearsing for a new one, auditions aren’t that far off.”

“Phil was telling us,” Mr. Brooks chuckles. I start to relax as Phil’s parents start chatting to me like we were old friends. By the time my mum comes to pick me up at 8:30pm, the five of us are laughing like we’ve known each other all our lives.

“That’ll be your mother,” Mrs. Brooks sighs as the doorbell rings.

“Phil, aren’t you going to see your girlfriend out?” Victoria teases. Both of us blush slightly as Phil escorts me to the door, where my mother is waiting.

“Did you have fun?” Mum asks.

“Yeah,” I say, not moving from the doorstep.

“…Are you coming home tonight?” Mum says, before realising WHY I’m not moving. “…Oh. I’ll, um, I’ll just get the car round…”

“I had a really great time tonight,” I say, giggling as Phil takes one of my hands in his.

“So did I,” Phil says. I feel my pulse begin to race as we lean in toward each other, and an eternity seems to pass before our lips finally make contact. My whole body feels like it’s going to collapse into a puddle of jelly as Phil gently presses his lips against mine, before retreating mere moments later.

“Hehehe,” I giggle, my mouth no longer able to make coherent sounds.

“Heh, heh,” Phil babbles, clearly suffering from the same ‘problem’ as me.

“Uh, bah-“ I grunt, before taking a deep breath. “I’ll, um, see you later, Phil!”

“I’ll see you later, Laura,” Phil says, slowly releasing my hand as I climb into my mum’s car and drive away.

“Aww!” Mum coos excitedly as we head home. “Your first date, your first kiss… I trust you ARE going to wait before any more ‘firsts’?”

“Yes,” I sigh as I relax back into my chair. “But I do really, really like him…”

“I remember my first crush,” mum giggles. “I was the same age as you, he was a year older than me… Drove your grandmother mad one month by spending ages on the phone to him, heh.” I giggle as mum reminisces, but my thoughts are entirely on the boy with whom I just shared the most intimate moment of my life. I’ve not ‘officially’ started puberty yet, but every day I feel more and more… Mature, for want of a better word. Dr Williamson says that with my boy blockers preventing testosterone from taking any effect on my body, what little oestrogen my body naturally produces will be dominant, and I am beginning to feel some physical differences, but the differences are mostly mental- especially with regard to boys, and ESPECIALLY with regard to Phil.

Phil’s still in my mind after I climb into bed (after having taken and ‘got rid of’ my laxative), and wake up on Saturday morning. After taking my boy blocker, I dress in a pink jumper and a plain black skirt with hot pink tights underneath. The ‘Little Angels’ (for want of a better name) are all going to Nicole’s today for a pink-themed makeover- a second one in as many days, in my case- but before I leave, I switch on my tablet computer and log in to Facebook. Rather than send a message to Phil- who’s probably still asleep, the BOY- I head straight o his public wall.

‘Morning babe xxx’, I type, feeling a little guilty as I hit ‘send’ and put the message out for the whole world to see. Almost immediately, a comment pops up on the post.

‘Morning Laura xxx,’ Phil’s comment reads. I leave a like on Phil’s comment before switching off my tablet computer and heading down to mum’s car. Shortly afterward, I find myself sat in front of Nicole’s dressing mirror as my friends eagerly take turns applying layer after layer of make-up to my face- hot pink eye shadow, neon pink lipstick and think black mascara. I look around at all of my friends, who are all made up the same… Even Ashley, on her first official ‘girly day’. Yeah, I may not have the oestrogen tablets I so badly desire, and I may have trouble keeping my expanding waistline under control, but I have so much else- my friends, my ‘little sister’, my boyfriend- hell, even his parents approve of me. I’ve had my first date, my first Valentine’s card, my SECOND Valentine’s card… My first kiss…

My so-called-father, who is hopefully rotting in his prison cell, would probably drop dead of a heart attack if he could see how far I’ve come on my journey to becoming a woman, and I have so, so much further still to go.