Wheels and wings 23

Character List.

Jack Thomas Later AKA Ellie Transvestite/intersexual and keen cyclist.
Amanda Thomas AKA Amie Jack's sister.
Charlotte Dawson Keen girl cyclist and Jack’s soon-to-be girlfriend.
Bob Cycling club captain.
Mr Thomas Weston School games master and keen rugby player.
Billy Davies. Rugby ‘jock’, kind to Jack, he fancies Charlotte.
Marjorie Spencer. Holder of unofficial ‘Prettiest-girl-in-the-school’ title.
Miss Elizabeth Postlethwaite. The English Mistress.
Aunty Olwen Where Jack changes for school and leaves his bike.
Mandy. Olwen’s daughter, Jack’s older cousin.
Mr Griffiths The County solicitor.

Chapter 23

Ellie studied her reflection in the full length mirror; there was no doubt about it, she passed. As she fiddled with a couple of unruly strands, she saw her mother in the mirror and turned to smile nervously.

“D’you think Miss Postlethwaite will have changed the dinosaur’s minds?”

“I hope so Ellie and you can take your referral letter to show them. I’ve also got Doctor Williams’ letter concerning her consultation with you.”

“I haven’t had the referral yet, that’s not until August. They can still close down on me. Mr Williams the Headmaster is a pig of a man.”

“I’m hoping your appearance will add strength to your case. You look good.”

Ellie took one last nervous look at her reflection, swallowed and made her way downstairs. Amie flashed her an admiring smile as her eyes widened with appreciation.

“You look stunning Sis! I mean really; you’ll knock em’ dead!”

“Wish me luck Sis; are you coming with us into town?”

“You bet. I’m going to the mall while you and mum face the inquisition.”

“That doesn’t make me feel any better sis. I’m nervous enough as it is.”

The sisters clambered into the car as their mum placed a small suitcase in the boot.

“What’s in the case mummy?” Ellie asked.

“A school uniform, girl’s uniform that is. Miss Postlethwaite suggested I bring one in case they wanted to see what you looked like without all the glam. After all, you’ll be without makeup when you go as a girl during term time.”

Ellie swallowed, so far she had used make-up every time she dressed as a girl. Mandy had given her such excellent skills in make-up; Ellie had more or less taken make-up for granted. She cursed herself for not thinking about the school dress code. Yes, there was a dress code at the school and school uniforms had to be worn, even though some of the girl’s uniforms turned them into jail bait, but Ellie had no idea how rigidly the make-up rule was enforced because the girls were using every cunning stratagem to disguise the fact that they used make-up. Jewellery was acceptable provided it was not outrageous but Ellie thought make-up was a no-no.

‘Ah well’, she thought, ‘I’ll just have to see what I look like without.’

Ellie knew this was going to be the big test. She was grateful that her cousin Mandy had done a good job with her hair earlier that term. Ellie sported a clever ‘gender neutral’ urchin cut that accommodated any style of wig whilst it tended to increase her feminine appearance with every centimetre of hair growth. Ellie squeezed her fists tight as she calmed her nerves.
Finally, after dropping Amie off at the mall they pulled into the school car-park.

Ellie’s mother smiled and squeezed her daughter’s hand to hide her own nervousness. Ellie responded with a similar squeeze before they arrived at the double doors. On the steps they embraced tightly as they both struggled to stay calm. When they turned to push through the double doors, a familiar voice greeted them as Miss Elizabeth Postlethwaite appeared to escort them.

“They’re waiting for you. Don’t be too alarmed. Several of the staff are already on your side and one of the lady governors has come up trumps. She was the last person I expected to show any sympathy but I was chatting to her just now and I was pleasantly surprised. The deputy director of education is also there and the county solicitor is attending because of the legal issues.”

Ellie’s legs almost turned to jelly as she struggled to keep calm. Elizabeth touched her arm gently to reassure her and Ellie smiled gratefully.

“Don’t be afraid kid, you look stunning. If they’re looking for a girl well they’ve certainly found one. Let’s knock em’ dead!”

Elizabeth reached an arm around the girl’s waist and the two older women gave her one last hug to give her confidence. Her mum knocked on the door and they were invited in. Ellie noted there were three chairs provided so obviously they had been expecting Elizabeth as well as Ellie and her mum. The headmaster gave a weak smile and stood to offer them the chairs. They thanked him and sat to face the line of staff members and county officials. The head master spoke first and to Ellie it seemed that he was speaking through clenched teeth. She stared nervously at the floor until Elizabeth gently nudged her and whispered.

“Don’t stare down like that. It makes you look guilty or self conscious. Face them with your face held high. Be proud of your status. If you don’t stand up for yourself, it’s very difficult for others to support you.”

Despite Elizabeth’s encouragement, Ellie still found it hard to look them in the eye. She’d hardly heard a word of the headmaster’s opening comments and her mother had to answer the first question because Ellie was still in a state of nervous shock. When Ellie finally recovered her composure, she heard her mother replying on her behalf. Her mother was apologising for the inconvenience Ellie might cause. Ellie realised that the wrong approach was being adopted by her mother and more incorrect answers might be given.

One cruel lesson that Ellie had already learned was that wrong answers could lead to wrong conclusions and wrong decisions. Panicked by the possibility of the wrong answers being given, Ellie let out a squeal of protest that startled the panel. She realised she had made a bad start and quickly moderated her tone. However she knew Elizabeth Postlethwaite was right, Ellie had to take a bold approach and fight her corner. She came out fighting.

“No, no, no! That’s not right! I’m not going to apologise for being an inconvenience! Why should being me be such a big inconvenience? You don’t consider the black kids to be ... an inconvenience; you don’t consider the Muslim kids and the Hindu kids to be ... an inconvenience. They’re even allowed to form their own societies, their own clubs. There’s even a gay club. They’re allowed to be what they are, who they are; so why can’t I? It’s just not fair.”

The head-master replied.

“To the best of my knowledge we do not provide a gay club in this school.”

Ellie knew better but she would have given away too much. The gay club operated under the auspices of ‘The literature appreciation society,’ but all the members accepted that most of the thirty members were gay. Even the girl’s hockey captain and her team-mate, who were affirmed lesbians, belonged to the literature society because they found affinity with the others who shared like sexualities and endured the same censure. Only a few kids in the literature society weren’t gay, but they were genuine thespians who were tolerant kids anyway. Because of their supposed 'arty-farty' thespian interests, they were considered to be geeks and/or weirdoes in a school obsessed with sport. The literature club grew like a rose amongst weeds; a refuge for less sporty children.
The head master continued in a seemingly apologetic tone but Ellie knew the underlying issue was the headmaster’s hidden homophobia.

“It’s not a matter of fairness; it’s a matter of resource. We can’t provide you with your own private lavatory for example.

Ellie couldn’t answer this but instead Elizabeth spoke up for her.

“She can use the girls’ lavatories. If she’s dressed as a girl and presents externally as a girl; that’s the law as I’ve read it isn’t it?”

She turned pointedly to the county solicitor who nodded then replied quite clearly.

“Yes. That’s true. If there’s no obvious question of gender, no apparent discrepancies then the individual is entitled to choose which facilities he or she wishes to use. Oh, and I would point out here that this young person presents very convincingly as a young lady and from what I’ve seen of other issues and legal cases involving county employees, she would have no problem convincing a judge. On the basis of what I can see here. Young Miss Ellie would be entitled to use the ladies lavatories.”

The head master turned irritably.

“But what about changing rooms and shower facilities?

A tense silence descended on the panel before Tom Weston eventually spoke up. He cleared his throat nervously.

“Ahem, I uuhm, I’ve been speaking to Miss Flanagan the senior girl’s gym mistress and we might have reached some accommodation on that issue.”

“Oh, do tell us please.” The headmaster challenged. “Are you telling me you’ve changed your mind?”

Thomas Weston shifted uncomfortably as he gathered the courage to declare his changed views.

“Well, frankly headmaster, yes.”

“Might I ask what brought about this epiphany?”

“A few weeks ago, the child wrote an essay for Miss Postlethwaite.”

Ellie stood up to protest but Tom Weston raised reconciliatory hands as he sought to placate her.

“No. Please Ellie, let me have my say. I’m going to explain.”

Ellie was surprised by Tom Weston referring to her by her female name but she hid her surprise well. He smiled at her to try and reassure her but this only served to confuse Ellie further. She settled nervously as she bit her lip and repressed the tears that were fighting to escape. Tom Weston took her silence as a reluctant permission to continue. He turned again to face the headmaster and the deputy education director.

“As I was saying, young Miss Ellie here wrote an essay some weeks ago and in it she made some startling and very, very personal confessions. I use the word ‘confessions’ advisedly here because it was how Miss Ellie described her statements. I must add here and now that a few months ago, I would have regarded those statements to be perverted confessions but after reading the whole essay I started to view things somewhat differently. Her statements and observations proved to be very illuminating and I felt a little ashamed when I read what she had written about the school and the staff, particularly myself. I had not realised how oppressive and domineering I appeared to some of the children under my tutelage ... even children who were good at sport. Children like Miss Ellie here who, I have to say, is a remarkably fast sprinter. Her speed belies her appearance and gender and I have to confess; ... that single factor caused me to make some terrible blunders concerning this girl.

After reading the essay, I felt humbled and even something of an invader into Miss Ellie’s unhappy life; an unhappy life for which I was partly to blame. I have to say now that I can understand why Miss Ellie felt wounded by Miss Postlethwaite’s necessarily having to show me the essay. It was a very deep and personal document, obviously meant only for Miss Postlethwaite’s eyes. It speaks volumes for Miss Postlethwaite’s strength of character that she persuaded Ellie to let me read the essay and I must add; getting me to sit down and read it. That issue between Miss Ellie and Miss Postlethwaite has, I hope been partly resolved by my confession here. I have changed my mind about the young lady, and I will be voting for her to attend years twelve and thirteen attired in the clothes of her perceived gender.

I’ve discussed the changing room arrangements with Miss Flanagan who has agreed to let Miss Ellie use her own private shower and changing room. Had Miss Flanagan not agreed to this, I would have offered my changing facility to Miss Ellie and if she wishes, that offer still stands. On that note, I can see little that stands in the way of Ellie attending school as a girl next year.”

Ellie’s jaw sagged with disbelief as Elizabeth Postlethwaite quickly responded.

“Does this mean Miss Thomas is pushing at an open door?”

The headmaster’s jaw worked soundlessly as he realised that his main ally Tom Weston had virtually abandoned him. He grasped at one last straw as he found his voice.

“Well, it’s not totally open. There is the matter of bullying. Bullying by Mr Thomas’s — sorry ... Miss Thomas’s contemporaries, namely the other pupils. I accept that it is the school’s responsibility to stamp out bullying but I think she will agree that teachers cannot be everywhere, all of the time. How are we to address that?”

It was Ellie’s turn to argue her case. Using her most feminine voice she replied.

“I believe I have little to fear from my own classmates and I will be sixteen next year. I can still participate in athletics, even compete against the boys in running at least. That single athletic gift will endear me to many of the boys and probably persuade them to leave me alone. Furthermore, my running skills will persuade many of the jocks that I am still worthy of their respect. Sadly there are bound to be a few homophobic individuals who might deem it their right to persecute me but I have at least learned that I will now be able to report their bullying to the staff. I thank the staff for their support.

I believe my athletic gifts will mainly serve to protect me until I decide for certain where I want to ... no that’s not right ... where I HAVE to go with this. The same goes for my extracurricular hobby of cycling. I can compete in the male sections until or unless my life-style choices make it impossible. That is, if my body becomes too feminised to physically compete. I don’t expect that issue to arise until, or unless I start taking hormones. I am not taking hormones yet, but I think all here will agree, my appearance would indicate I have gender issues of both a physical and mental nature. My doctors certainly believe so. My body is somewhat androgynous. Despite approaching fifteen, there is still little sign of puberty having hit except, I must add, there are signs of a bust developing. My doctor thinks I have some Androgen Insensitivity issues but the tests so far, have been inconclusive. I am very unhappy and uncomfortable being expected to present as male and everybody must agree; I present satisfactorily as female. That is currently my preferred gender position.”

Ellie paused and the headmaster quickly seized an opportunity.

“But you are still male down below, as it where?”

“Yes. I don’t deny that. I never have, and up until a few months ago there was never any problem changing in the boy’s changing rooms for sport, but I’m growing beasts now and they are NOT artificially induced. Things are different.”

“Can you not take male hormones to accelerate a male puberty?” He persisted insensitively.

Ellie shook her head; it was like banging her head against a brick wall.

“I’m not a male in my head. I see myself as female; my puberty seems to be telling me I’m female." At this jucture Ellie decided to come absolutely cleand and drop the bombshell she had been dreading. 'In for a penny, in for a pound' She concluded as she continued.

"There is one huge anomaly however, since my delayed puberty started to appear; I have developed a sexual interest. I am attracted to girls. I am confused by this because it seems everybody expects me to be attracted to boys. I’m not.”

Mr Griffiths, the county solicitor scratched his head.

“So in summary, what your saying is that you think of yourself as a girl, you’re going through what seems to be a mild female puberty, but you are encumbered of male genitalia ... and yet you are attracted to girls.” He paused thoughtfully then asked. “I don’t want to seem insensitive but could that not be deemed to make you a threat to any girl who is unaware of your condition. I mean, technically, you are still capable of having heterosexual relations with a girl. Now please don’t take this as any sort of accusation but you could actually commit the act of rape.”

A deafening silence descended on the meeting as Ellie felt trapped like a rabbit in car headlamps. The idea of ever forcing her designs on any person, male or female, had never entered her head but she had no answer. Once again it was Elizabeth who stepped in and this time she laid her own career on the line for her words more or less outed her.

“Mr Griffiths you are quite right, but I think your observation could be applied to any lesbian who approaches any heterosexual woman. A predatory approach by any gay woman can be almost as traumatic as heterosexual rape especially if the lesbian predator employs force. And force does sometimes get used albeit usually in error, especially if penetration is intended. Lesbians have even been known to rape other lesbians.”

All heads turned in various degrees of curiosity ranging from mild surprise to inquisitorial accusation as each member of the panel made their own interpretations of Elizabeth’s observations. Those observations had implied that Elizabeth had a deep understanding of lesbian lifestyles, possibly even the less savoury side. The head master seemingly seized upon this, but Mr Griffiths, the county solicitor quickly stepped in to scotch any escalation.

“I don’t think Miss Postlethwaite’s knowledge or insights are a matter for conjecture here. What she says seems logical and balanced. In truth I hadn’t considered those aspects and I might even have left myself open to accusations of homophobia or I think, more correctly, transphobia. For instance there are possibly or even probably, lesbian girls in the upper school even as we speak. The risk of them assaulting other girls is no more or less than Miss Ellie. I must personally thank Miss Postlethwaite for pointing out the pitfalls. Thank you Elizabeth.”

Elizabeth smiled briefly but kept silent. Mr Griffith’s words said it all and she thankfully let the matter rest. The head master drew breath to comment but a knowing glance from the deputy director of education silenced him. The hearing was over but Ellie was still tense.

~~ooo00ooo~~