What a good boy… Chapter 5.

Chapter 5

I help mom with supper and help out with making the salad. Mom’s a really healthy eater and we do a lot of veggies and not just salads. But tonight we’re making chicken breast rolled in cream of mushroom soup and then Shake and Bake and put in the oven.

The salad’s actually good stuff or I think it is mixed greens that they sell in the plastic boxes and a dressing of olive oil and avocado with lime juice in the blender then we stir in really small diced cucumber in it and the pistachio nuts for crunchy stuff.

I’m actually kind of proud of myself in helping out mainly because I think I can make this. And like any kid with two working parents I can cook some stuff. Boiled potatoes, Kraft Dinner, Hot dogs and stuff that uses like a pot of boiling water or the oven and the microwave. I’m not supposed to fry anything without them around or use the deep fryer or any of the big knives.

We ate and I do the dishes. That’s one of my chores and we have a dishwasher but we really don’t use it unless it’s a big meal or stuff like that.

Then it comes time for the dreaded shopping with mom for the stuff.

I’m quiet as we drive and we actually head for the mall.

“Why are we going here?”

“We need to get you some things.”

“Like?”

“Proper underpants.”

“I have underpants their called underwear.”

“Okay, but just keep an open mind.”

We park and head inside and we go to one of the bigger pharmacy chains. I mean I’ve sort of been in them but not on “that” side of the store. Then with like that saying “where angels fear to tread” we enter the period…aisle.

“Whoa holy crap…”

“Tracy, language.”

“Mom…it’s English…besides I’m pretty sure Jesus poo’ed.”

“Tracy…”

“Oka……y.”

“Good now lets see what you need and what kind of absorption that you need. So when you get wet just how wet do you get?”

“Mooooom!” I look around, please don’t let anyone be here, oh god this is so embarrassing!

“What these are things that you need to know Tracy and you might have other issues too.”

I… “Other issues?”

“Spritzing.”

“What?”

“Some times girls…well sometimes people with vaginas will laugh or cough and they will “spritz.” A little bit of urine.”

“What!!!”

“Yes, and you might too.”

“No…no way!”

“Well there are things that help but it happens to pretty much everyone though I’m not sure if that even happens with a neo-vagina.”

“Mom…stop saying vagina.”

“What? Why vagina is a perfectly fine word and you have one you’ll have to get used to it.”

“Yeah okay fine but I don’t want to hear you saying it.”

“Why? I have a vagina; you came out of it when you were born.”

“Aaaah!” I cover my ears with my hands.

“Tracy behave, its just biology.”

“Yeah but eeew…I don’t need to have those images in my brain.”

She gives me her look of she doesn’t get it but she’s going to let it go and she takes a few of the hundreds of boxes down to read them.

I grab a box and look at it. Hmm tampons, I mean they’ve been stuffing them in my locker but this is the first time I’ve see the boxes.

*Five minutes later…

“It goes WHERE!?”

Mom’s explaining all of the stuff about how you out a tampon in and even as squick as that is I’m still freaking out a bit. I’d be walking around with it shoved into my place and it’d be in my place…and eew no.

No, no, no, no, no….no effing way.

I’m thinking about girls though and that and they use them when they have their periods and there all of that which is ten times worse that what I knew about it and…oh I’m so getting why they get so pissed when guys start talking about them being on the rag or them ragging on the guys and stuff.

God just reading and learning about a period is something I’d never thought that I’d do.

Honestly I’d kill someone if that was me going through all of that.

Maybe that’s why girls don’t really take shop class.

Way too many sharp objects.

We get a couple of boxes to try.

Asshole companies. They should have sample packs or singles you can buy so someone can tell which ones that you want to get that’s right for you.

I end up with Always…ultrathins, fresh with wings…yeash.

And a box of tampons that are those hip looking boxed ones.

“Why? I’m not going to use those…ever.”

“Well you never know and you should carry back ups with you.”

“Where? I’m not getting a purse.”

“No I know that but maybe a new backpack something more cool.”

“More cool.”

“Yes and before you remind me that I don’t know what cool is that that’s fine. Your Dad and I think that you need a make over.”

“I’m not looking like a girl!”

“No, but you need a new look and where we’ve avoided buying you the cool clothes or really tried to we’re thinking that you need the edge.”

“Really like what?”

“We have no idea; this is for you to shop for.”

“I get to pick things out.”

“Yes, I know I don’t get even female fashions myself as much as other women. I get too dated. I’m not going to pick out your clothes.”

“Cool.”

“Alright let’s get these paid for and we can go shopping then.”

*An hour later….

“Mom the darned pad keeps moving around on me and stuff.”

“They’re not meant for those underwear. I s why honey.”

“Oh, this is why you wanted to get underpants.”

“Yes, I though this might happen. Come with me we’ll try something that might be suitable I seen online.”

She takes me to a few of the girl/ladies departments until she finds me some “Boy shorts” cut panties and there’s even a few pair that have the Y front seams on them. I get some of those in the not so girly looks and solid ungirly colors. Thank god for the butchy types.

I get them on and they don’t feel that bad the one’s I got are actually Haines and a dark, dark grey and they’re really close to what I used to wear. The pad is more comfortable by far too.

And while mom doesn’t force me to get stuff she explains the whole purse thing really. Spare pads, and tampons, and all the other stuff they carry. Okay some of it makes sense.

So I get this pretty cool looking black denim shoulder bag with heavy buckles and snaps and stuff at American Eagle. It’s something kids in university might have it even has compartments for stuff on the outside of it and a water bottle holder.

I get stuff that I might need with some of her input. Spare panties, tampons and pads. Lip gloss, I use it sometimes and I get a pack so there are spares. Gum, a multi-pack and spares. Small bottle of mouthwash spray, Band-aids, roll of hockey tape, hand sanitizer, tissues in the small packs, Midol…my idea actually since it won’t do anything to me more that be okay for me headache I’m around girls a lot so if they need it…multi-tool, eye-glass repair kit, it’s like I get some of the stuff that’s be useful in general but also that I can share/lend to the girls that I go to school with. The rest is stuff that I might need anyway.

Then there’s clothes.

I take her through several stores getting stuff that looks y’know cool sort of a cross between some comic logo stuff. I like the superman logo and it’s a guy thing. And I get the white t-shirt one of those and the flash and Green lantern and then some band shirts at another place. I like Hedley a good group but also a BNL shirt and some others. I get some gothy/Emo style hoodies and cargo pants.

Mom insists on getting me some new dress clothes with the whole suit and tie things and shoes because I’m outgrowing the stuff I had. And we get some gym clothes and some new sneakers. Some Nike’s and I get some black canvas ones for skating and just regular use.

Then we hit the thrift stores. My idea because the skater kids and stuff talk about them a lot and I score a leather jacket and some old army clothes. Mom bought me a bow-flex machine at a “resale” shop. Since I’m getting more into working out and stuff. I’m actually in a lot better frame of mind. Going home and it’s late by the time everything’s away and set up. I use the bow-flex for an hour until I’m sore trying out all the exercises on the DVD that came with it.

I log onto the computer and check my e-mails and PM’s and read a bit then go onto Face book and I add Gwen and Stef and Rachel to my friends list a bit nervously then log off.

I shower and crash hoping that tomorrow won’t be another shitty day. And I’m sort of looking forward to maybe seeing Gwen.