What a good boy...Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Sigh…

Fucking assholes.

Or really kind of rather bitches and assholes because I’m not really all that sure that the guys that are doing this have the balls to go and buy all of these feminine hygiene products landing all over the floor from me opening my locker.

It’s been two weeks since I’ve been back to school. I pretty much got to spend my summer in recovery but that didn’t suck so much and Dad took us to Vancouver and my first trip to the sea. I kinda got a better grip on myself and my situation out there though Mom…Oh god…Do girls go through the massive embarrassment with the tampon thing that I had with Mom and her interest in my dilation. Sigh.. and wanting to talk about it the whole hygiene issues then getting me to try on bikini bottoms when they were freaking me out.

But I came back got settled in and back to my old school the first two days was whispers and not knowing what to do with then the hazing and teasing me and apparently it’s still funny.

I start picking them up and I take out a big zip lock baggy and put them inside. There’s catcalls from some oh the moron section of the general populace and slurs. But honestly getting called fag and hearing that’s it bitch bend over doesn’t bother me that much any more.

One I was expecting it and in the three months that I was out of classes and stuff I was getting it all anyway out on the street when I would go to the places that I used to go or just when ever they could get away with stuff.

But it doesn’t bother me that much on the scale of weird stuff that’s happened since it’s pretty low.

They had to go in and take my last testicle; the doctors were worried about complications.

That was it for that.

Two of my friends that never deserted me Corey and Sonny and me had a funeral for my stuff. I know what could be was reworked but it was the thought behind it.

We buried the removed bit they had given me. Yeah I hand to ask for it…well we buried it out in the woods.

Farewell Hung-Solo, you will be missed.

And as strange as it was being like this the guys didn’t get too weird with me except for like the first week or so after I was healed. I lost track of the “Can we see it’s.”

The first hundred answers were. “Hell no!”

Then it was a Charlie-horse punch every time they asked after that.

Dilation…is just plain strange and freaky and yet something that I’ve had to get used to.

Oh…I had a thought about that. If I have to regularly do that to stay healthy then isn’t this my version of needing to use tampons and the whole period thing?

I might be totally wrong here but I’m drawing a parallel.

I’ve been thinking a lot about that since I came back to school. I have to use the girl’s facilities.

Well not have to but absolutely no way the school or the school board was going to let me use the boy’s rooms. And I refuse to be completely singled out by using the staff washrooms and I’m not disabled so I’m not using those either.

Mom sort of see’s that as a good sign…sigh…she really sometimes still is hung up on me being a daughter or something…because it’ll “be easier.” Not if I’m not a girl.

She gets it but I still don’t think she’s over any of it, she can‘t have any more kids and her only boy well…and she never got to have a little girl. I think she’s in mourning the stuff she lost wen I lost my y’know…but se loves me. I get that but mom’s one of those academic types that live in her head all the time or when she’s not in her computer. She doesn’t ignore me…it’s just.

Honestly…when I have had time to really look at her. I think she’s got something like Aspergers or something…I’ve seen how Dad sort of takes care of us and it might explain why she’s kind of mono-focused. I’ve met a lot of people that have stuff like that going on like that and maybe knowing them and going through all of this has me looking at some stuff differently.

She really lost her mind when I was well enough I came home with a used bike.

Like the bike was what did this to me. It took dad several days to calm her down to where she’d trust me out on my own on my own two wheels.

But at least she’s consistent. She freaked out when I used my birthday money to buy a decent skate board and still has minor little spazzes when I come home hurt. And I’m changing too. The stuff they said would happen is started and my skin and stuff. I’m not going to need to really shave my face. I got rid of my body hair and stuff…I’m not seeing myself as hairy…I just can’t not with a my new equipment…but while not wanting to be a hulking thug type I’m not taking hormones either. I bike and board…I have a bowflex dad and I got for the house at a yard sale. And I’m getting ab’s…I dunno…I just have it going on that if I can get a girlfriend then I want a trail of ab’s leading down to y’know.

………………………………..Oh there’s a training bra in the stuff this time and those dollar store bra bandage things that come rolled up. Well they’re getting a bit more original.

I head into the girls bathroom and take out a marker and tape and tape the bad to the wall and write on the bag. “These things are expensive, but their unopened and still good so why don’t you let them get an early start on buying your tampons.”

I hear a giggle behind me and it’s Gwen Archer. She’s one of the most popular girls in school. Gwen had developed early like into the B’s by the time she was like twelve and she’s a girl jock…not a cheerleader but on the basketball team and she plays as goalie of the girl’s soccer team and she has a rocking body…oh…I feel so funny down south.

“Hey…” she says.

“Hey.” I say back.

“That’s funny, and pretty cool.”

“Oh…uhm...thank you?”

“Maybe I’ll see you around later.”

“Uhm okay…”

She smiles and she sashays and sway’s away and I’m stunned and I’m hard…well it kind of feels like that but if like my boner was kind of imbedded into me?

Which I guess it is.

I’m still trying to get over the fact that she even spoke to me. I mean she’s like a double threat hot-girl and girl jock.

She talked to me and I feel…I actually am feeling something…that’s a huge relief actually even if it’s so strange.

Then my brain does that CD skip to all the stunned responses I gave her and the fact that I never even introduced myself.

“Oh Derp.”