THE PROM STATEMENT: Chapter 5
By
Nina Adams

In the heat of debate, Clarence makes a Prom
Statement that would change his life forever.

Chapter 5 of 7:

---------------Help With Feeling More Like a Girl--------------

I was amazed the next morning to see how well my hair had held up to a restless night sleep. With just a few strokes of my brush, my hair regained its bouncy fullness. Liking my reflection, I did my best to try and outline my eyes. It looked so bad that I just washed it all off. I was frustrated that I did not know how to do something as simple as outlining my eyes. Because of my frustration, I decided to dress in just jeans and a red sweater. I still looked very feminine, because of my body shaping and new hair styling, but I decided not to dress more fashionably.

I worked on my chorus solo alone in my room. As I practiced the lyrics, I kept imagining myself up on the stage singing the song as a girl. I was fantasizing about becoming some sort of female pop star or contestant on American Idol. I always enjoyed singing, but until I had my new attractive female persona, I never really thought that much about pretending to be famous. I was being drawn further and further into the illusion.

I practiced for about a half-hour and memorized the lyrics. I think the my current rendition of the song would have looked and sounded girlish, even if I had not been dressed as I was. I knew that for the actual show, which was almost 10 days away, I would have to tone down some of my body movements, and voice inflections.

I joined my mother downstairs for some tea before our guests were to arrive. She said I looked nice, but I could tell she was disappointed in my choice of apparel. Her enthusiasm for showing me off to our guests, with all of my recent changes, outweighed any minor disappointment in clothing selection. She told me Rachel was particularly interested in seeing me and sharing in some girl talk.

When they made their way into the house, they quickly cornered me in the kitchen. They expounded about how much better I looked and that I was becoming so completely natural. Rachel was first to comment about my new earring studs and my delicate eyebrows. Aunt Sharon pointed out how professionally Lulu had restyled my hair and that she had given me a very sweet and attractive appearance.

“You are going to have a hard time keeping the boys away from your lovely daughter Sarah. She is going to be a real heartbreaker.”

“Sharon, I think she is already taken. You should’ve seen how she had her friend Max mesmerized on their date last night. It was so cute.”

“Mom, he’s my best friend. That’s it.”

“If you say so Claire. You looked so beautiful last night in your lovely dress and with your new makeup.”

“I wish I could’ve seen you. It must’ve been precious.” Rachel added.

“Please stop. You are all making me feel stupid. I am being a good sport and you don’t have to make me squirm. I’m cooperating, but don’t make it more than it is.”

“Okay Claire, but your Aunt and Rachel are just excited to see how you’re coming along. They’re not trying to be mean, they are saying these things out of love. Please cut them some slack.”

“I’m sorry, this is still hard for me. Can we just have some brunch?”

With that we ate. I really did not eat much as my appetite had been shrinking with all of the corset wearing, and recent emotional anxiety. The conversation became only slightly more muted, and it still mostly revolved around me.

My Aunt informed me, that the following Saturday, I would be coming down to the bridal boutique with her and Rachel. Rachel worked at the boutique part time, and was planning to go off to design school in the fall. She worked at the boutique to make a few extra dollars and to learn about dress design and fashion. On Saturdays, she normally worked there from 10 AM until 4 PM. My Aunt Sharon planned for me to spend that entire time there getting more familiar with fancy ball gowns, and so I could try on a few Prom alternatives.

I was no longer panicked about being out in public as Claire, and only expressed a mild resistance to spending so much time at such a sacred bastion for women. I knew I would not see any of my guy friends there, and odds of seeing female classmates at a bridal boutique 15 miles away, was pretty slim. When she talked about me trying out alternatives, I could not get out of my mind the vision of Rachel in her heavenly dress. After finishing brunch, Rachel and I were excused so that we could have some one-on-one time.

“Claire, your Mom and Aunt want me to help you with your makeup. Before I leave today, you’re supposed to understand at least the basics of what to wear and how to apply it. Most girls your age already know most of this, so you have some catching up to do. I’m not too worried, because you seem to be catching up on everything else so quickly.”

I blushed at her last statement. “I’m just trying to do what you all want, that’s all.”

“I think we all want the same thing, and it is obvious in your progress.”

“I tried putting on some makeup this morning and failed miserably. I looked like the bride of Frankenstein.”

“That’s a good sign. At least you were the bride!”

We both laughed a bit at the joke and it certainly broke any tension left in the room.

Over the next hour and a half she showed me how to apply all of my different makeup and some tricks for special effects. She would apply one side of my face and have me do the other. I was not sure I was absorbing it all, but I was learning quite a lot. By the time we were done I knew I could do a reasonable job of making myself presentable. I felt pretty good about my new skills, even though I wasn’t sure I really needed to be an expert on all of this.

Rachel seemed to enjoy our time together. She did not have a sister and I think it was fun for her to pass on some of her considerable skills. She treated me entirely like a girl, as if my boy side never had existed. I played along since we were having such a nice time together. The only time I ever got defensive or close lipped was when she started inquiring about Max, and when she was joking about boys. She would talk about them like I had never been one, or like they were the opposite sex.
___________
“My mother bought you these special devices for school to help you adjust to your back-and-forth routine.”

With that comment Rachel pulled out of her purse two black strap-like items, that she informed me were gaffes. “These will hold your boy parts between your legs and give you a smooth look in front no matter what you are wearing. You tuck your thing in between your legs into the natural cavity and put this over at. It’s kind of like your padded brief, but without the padding. You should wear this under your school clothes.”

“You want me to be flat in front at school?”

“Do you get checked out a lot down there? Only you will know and that’s the point. You can wear some pretty panties over them and it will make you feel more secure.”

“At school I am a guy, this is crossing the line.”

“I’m not telling you to wear a skirt. Remember we’re trying to help you adjust and you need to cooperate.”

I took the gaffes and said I would try one later. We then finished up on my cosmetic lessons. After I had done a complete makeup job on myself that she was satisfied with, she convinced me to change into something with more style to go down and show our parents. Standing in front of Rachel decked out in a sexy short dress, jewelry, and makeup; I was almost able to forget I was ever male.

“It’s just not right that you look so fabulous and you’ve only been a girl for a matter of days. Just think of all the time you wasted in the past.”

“You say that like I’m going to stay like this. I am doing this for the Prom, so I can make my statement.”

“Do you still remember what your statement or point was? Stop kidding yourself, you like this, and wanted it. When you go to the Prom it will be to express your right to go as a girl. You will be fighting for yourself and not just a cause.”

She had me so confused, and I wasn’t sure how to respond to her statement. Part of me, maybe a very large part of me, was enjoying the pampering and attention I was getting. When I was dressed this way, I was starting to like it, but it was still a tug-of-war with the person I grew up as.

I did my little fashion show for our parents and they complimented me on my new look and makeup. My Aunt said that she could not wait to dress me up at the boutique. “You are going to have the greatest time trying on all the gorgeous gowns. You are going to look like royalty.”

I was beginning to think she was right. I would have been lying if I weren’t curious to see how I might look in a formal dress.

“This time of year is our busiest season with all of the summer weddings and spring Proms. If you like it there, I may be able to give you a part-time job at the boutique at least until the summer peak season is over. Your mother says you are trying to save some money and I could probably use some extra help.“

The weekend had been a whirlwind. I had taken the dressing to a whole new level. I’d gone out on a date with my best friend and we had kissed each other like star-crossed lovers. I ended the weekend looking and acting like I had been a girl all of my life. It had been the most unusual weekend of my life, but as I got ready for bed I started to get spontaneously emotional again.

I am not sure what set it off, but I found myself crying as I was changing for bed. I rarely cried before, but I was crying and not even knowing why.

My mother heard me in my room and came in to see what was wrong. She held me and I just started crying even more. After a few minutes, I settle down and tried to discuss with her what was bothering me. I was not completely sure, but I knew that the internal struggle I was feeling was starting to overwhelm me.

“Mom, I am getting even more confused by how I feel. Part of me really likes being Claire and part of me keeps telling me it is wrong. With each day I get more comfortable, but I just can’t get over the conflict. I know I’m a boy and it is hard to drive that out of my mind, even when I am fully dressed as Claire.”

“I understand it must be hard, but honey you seem so much more confident and happy when I see you strutting around as my lovely daughter. Am I wrong?”

“No Mom, it’s just that I wish I could stop having all of those boy thoughts when I am like this. It’s okay at school, but the rest of the time it just makes it so hard. I don’t know if I can put those thoughts out of my head. It’s just the way I am wired.”

“I think you have done wonderfully so far. You are already more like a girl at this point than I expected. I think you wanted this more than you originally let on.”

“Maybe, but I don’t think I realized it back then. Now I think I am enjoying it, but I just can’t fully let myself go.”

“If I could help you with your conflicted wiring would you want those boy feelings to go away for a while?”

“Huh, I don’t follow you. I still have boy urges that pop-up at times when I wish they wouldn’t. I don’t see how you can help me with those urges”

“It’s your boy hormones. You may feel happier as Claire, but your hormones are making you feel mixed up. I have been reluctant to help you with that to this point, but maybe we should discuss it.”

“What do you mean? You can’t change who I really am.”

“I think we are still in the process of discovering who you really are, but there are some things we can do to help with those internal feelings.”

“Like what?”

“I can give you special supplements from the hospital that will affect your urges. There are blockers that reduce your macho feelings, and other drugs that help enhance your female ones. They basically turned around your hormone flow.”

“That sounds pretty radical.”

“It is a significant step in your transition. It doesn’t work overnight and I’m reluctant to go this route unless you want to feel completely like a real girl. Your Aunt suggested this at the beginning, but I first wanted to make sure this is something you really wanted.”

“There is still a lot of time between now and the Prom. If I’m going to be spending most of my free time as Claire, I think a pill might be worth it.”

“It’s more than that. They usually only allow boys to take these supplements if they plan to be girls full-time. There can be some side effects and if you stay on them too long, some of the changes might not go away.”

“What kind of side effects?”

“In addition to the psychological changes, it will cause some physical changes if you stay on them long enough. You will probably gain some weight in the girly areas. If you stay on them long enough, it can have the opposite effect on some of your male areas, including muscle mass.”

“I hardly have any muscle mass, but I can’t show up at school with tits.”

“Breasts Claire! That takes time, but there could be a little swelling before too long. This is not like an aspirin, after only a few months the effects may become permanent.”

“The Prom is not that far in the future. I could stop then.”

“You could, but you might not want to.”

“I am enjoying this a lot more than I expected, but I bet by the time the Prom rolls around, I will be anxious to go back to being Clarence.”

“Don’t be so sure. I hardly see any of Clarence left now. Max won’t want Claire to go away either.”

“I am not gay, Mom. I told you that before. It’s just that when I am dressed like this I just think I react a little differently.”

“I know you are not gay, not that there is anything wrong with that. Any feelings you may be having are in a way very traditional. If Claire was interested in another girl then you might call that gay.”

“This is getting too confusing and I am tired. Tomorrow Clarence has to go to school.”

“Good night dear.”

-------------------Change of Style for School------------------------

I woke up a few minutes earlier than usual on Monday to get ready for school. With all the changes that had occurred over the weekend, I wanted to make sure I was presentable for school. I did not want to show up and appear dramatically different than on Friday. Max might look at me differently, but I did not want other friends to think I had gone weird.

I selected some of my more gender-neutral clothes to wear over my gaffe. It took me a while to figure out how to put the gaffe on. I laid on my bed and tucked my penis as far back as I could. I was even able to push my testicles sacs into the natural cavity between my legs. I pulled the gaffe up and it securely held everything in place. I slid a pair of panties over the top and got up off the bed. When I looked at myself in the mirror, I felt a chill come over me. My lower body took on a very feminine shape. I pulled my tight black jeans up my legs and the illusion was still obvious to me. My crotch was flat and the pants fit my groin area like a glove.

I put on a green oversize sweater that helped cover my reshaped triangle, and it somewhat relieved my concerns. I put on my Dansko clogs and walked over to my vanity to work on my hair. Walking in the gaffe was more difficult. I had to adjust my stride down, which even further accentuated my more feminine mannerisms. I stared at my image in the vanity and played with my hair until I was satisfied. I needed to securely fasten a band over my ponytail so that my new hairstyle would not draw attention. Unfortunately, in drawing back my hair, there was no way to cover my thinned eyebrows or pierced ears. I also hoped no one would notice my glossy polished nails. I would try and pass off my changes as an attempt to just being more fashionable or edgy looking. I just kept telling myself that I was invisible to the student population anyway.

My mom dropped me at school and I quickly slipped into the throng of students. I felt very conspicuous and throughout the day I was constantly aware of my appearance. At chorus practice I did get a few comments about my ears and also a couple of comments about how I had been dressing more stylishly. At least nobody said I look like a sissy or bizarre.

At chorus I had my first follow-up chat with Max. He started our conversation by calling me Claire and telling me I look nice. Fortunately no one was in earshot and could hear his comment or see my embarrassment.

“Don’t call me that here. I am trying to survive this whole thing and you are supposed to support me.”

“Sorry, but I couldn’t resist. I was anxious to see you today and see how far you might go. All weekend I could not get your image out of my head.”

“You’re just so horny. Remember this is just a costume.”

“Get real. I am not sure what it is, but I know you felt the same thing I did Saturday night. Tell me I am wrong.”

“I felt something too, but we just got carried away with this Prom thing.”

“I am ready to get carried away again. How about Friday?”

“Let me think about it; I am doing my best to not freak out. My mom and I talked last night about how far this has gone and how I can try and get through it. I had fun Saturday, but I will let you know later.”

“Fair enough, but I really want to see my hot girlfriend again soon.”

I just walked away after his last statement.

It took me until Wednesday at school to get over my paranoia that everyone was staring at me. We had a full rehearsal for the chorus concert, which would be the following Wednesday evening. I thought I sang my part pretty well, and received some good-natured slaps on the back. Ms. Angela the chorus director gave me a slightly perplexed look when I finished my rendition. She commented that I sounded great, but added that I’d gotten much more dramatic. I wasn’t sure what she meant by that, but she didn’t tell me to change anything.

Later that evening after dinner my mother sat down with me in front of the fireplace. “Claire, I have been thinking about our previous discussion about feeling more completely like a girl. Is that something you still want?”

“Yes. I wish I didn’t have the internal tug-of-war, especially when I am dressed as Claire. I feel like two people.”

“So is Claire the one person you want to feel like?”

“I am spending most of my time dressed as Claire, so I guess my answer would have to be yes.”

“I brought home the supplements from the hospital that we discussed. I had one of my doctor friends prescribe them for you. I had to discuss your desires with him and he wrote up the scripts on the condition that you would make an appointment to see a specialist sometime soon.”

“What did you tell him about my situation?”

“Only the truth Claire. I told him that you were spending most of your time as a girl and that you wanted to feel more complete. He said you would need to follow-up with him or the appropriate medical counselors. He agreed to the meds now, because he said the earlier you start with them, the better the long-term effects.”

“It will be so embarrassing talking to a stranger about this. Do I have to?”

“At some point you will, that is, if you really want to take these drugs.”

“If I thought I could make it to the Prom without them, I would probably skip them. I really want to be able to feel more like a girl, since I’m spending so much time this way.”

“Last chance to skip them!”

“I’m all in Mom. Give me the pills.”

“Claire, pull down your hip pads.”

“Why?”

“The first supplements are shots. These are more effective and last longer. Each day you will take two sets of pills and I will give you a supplement shot periodically.”

“Wow, that sounds so intense.”

“It’s not easy to be beautiful.”

As the warm fluid entered my bloodstream by mother said, “Goodbye Clarence, hello Claire.”

“That wasn’t so bad.”

“You may feel a little nauseous in the morning for a few days, but it will go away. It will probably take a few days before you notice any of the positive effects.”

“Thanks Mom. This will make the next few weeks so much easier for me.”

The next morning she was so right. I threw up twice before my stomach settled down. It took until about 9:30 AM before I felt better. When I finally showed up at school with a note indicating that I was out for a doctor appointment, I almost had to laugh. Who would believe that I was experiencing nausea from taking female hormones?

The step I had taken was a major one. Allowing myself to take medication that could have lasting impact on me was probably foolish. All I knew was that I have been growing to like my new persona with each day and that I wanted to feel as perfect as possible for the remaining time I had as Claire. I knew the whole experience would have a profound impact on me, and that it would probably last well beyond the Prom.

My high school career had previously been nondescript, but now, it was probably going to be defined by the splash I made in my last semester. With this knowledge settling in, I was coming to realize that how I dressed and behaved at school should not matter. I did not want to be thought of as weird, but I had my right to be expressive or intentionally more androgynous. The thought of coming out of my invisible shell was kind of liberating. So far my gender bending clothing styles had not drawn that much attention, so my courage to dressing more stylishly was building.

Thursday at chorus I told Max that getting together Friday night would be fun. He was quick to make certain it would be with Claire. “That’s great. I got my Mom’s car for Friday, so if you are more comfortable, we can go back up to Northbrook or Highland Park and see the Hall Pass or The Adjustment Bureau.”

“I would like that. Maybe we can have some more “Passion Tea” after the show.” With that we smiled at each other. There was a not-so-subtle undertone to our discussion of getting together again.

After classes we walked home from school together. I couldn’t help but feel different walking home with him, than during the dozens of times before when we had walked home. There was no handholding, but about halfway home I took the band off my ponytail and shook my hair so that it resumed its fullness. I think I was less surprised by my boldness than Max was. He looked around a little, before he told me how much prettier that made me look.

When we got to my house, I know he wanted to kiss me again. I just looked into his eyes. “Don’t worry, Claire will be back tomorrow.”

I quickly shot into the house and up to my room. I changed into a teal baby doll styled dress, with some dark purple tights underneath. I worked on my makeup until I felt satisfied that I looked like a typical high school senior. Staring at myself in the vanity, I had an urge to go out again. It was enjoyable fixing myself up so perfectly, but I was slightly saddened that my evening would be spent at home.

My mother was very pleased with my appearance and over dinner sensed that I had gotten more comfortable with the concept of spending most of my time as Claire. She said my date with Max Friday night would be fine with her, but to remember Saturday I was working at the boutique.

I worked on my homework for about an hour after dinner. When I had finished, she asked if I wanted to go over to Aunt Sharon’s for some dessert. She said that Rachel would be there. I was anxious to get out and was kind of excited to show Rachel my makeup progress.

“Let’s go.”

At Aunt Sharon’s, I no longer felt like a guinea pig. I was just one of the girls. Aunt Sharon commented on my appearance, but not like before. Her positive tone no longer carried any caveat related to the fact that I was a boy. In her mind this was the real me.

Rachel was a little less subdued. She grabbed a hold of me and gave me one of those hugs that only girls do. She almost screamed with her approval of my appearance. She also wanted to know everything I was feeling and how far I had gone at school. I was nearly floored by one of her comments. “So I hear you have started transitioning.”

“What did mom tell you?”

“You started your Hormone Replacement Therapy, so you could be a real girl. I heard right, didn’t I?”

“Well I am taking the hormones, but I just want to feel more authentic for the Prom.”

“Authentic? That’s a good one. It won’t be by the Prom, but soon enough you will be as authentic as me.”

“It’s not like that.”

“Like what? You already have a boyfriend, you are going to the Prom, and you look like a knockout. You are now on HRT, girl it doesn’t get any more real than that.”

What she said was all-true. I just never really fully accepted it until I heard her blunt statement. I began to get tearful again. Rachel held me as I released my stream of tears.

“I like being Claire, I just never expected this. Why is this all happening to me?”

“Don’t fight it. You are more a girl now than you ever were a boy before. You may not realize it, but until these past few weeks you never seemed that happy. Now you are coming out of your shell and experiencing life all over again.”

“It’s just not normal.”

“Don’t start that. We’re just helping you match up your appearance with the girl inside. It may take more time, but eventually you will fully understand that.”

“I’m still a boy to virtually all of my friends and to everybody at school. They will all laugh at me. I’ll never be able to tell them how I feel.”

“It will not always be that way, but your real friends will accept you. Some may already suspect something. High school will be over before you know it, and a whole new life awaits you after that.”

“I think you are right, but for now I just want to get through the next few months.”

“Agreed. Tell me about your boyfriend…”

I felt better after spilling my emotions with Rachel, and admitting that this may be more than just a phase. I really wished it were summer so I would not have to keep switching my appearance.

If there had been any doubt in my mind about what I wanted, it was erased during my date on Friday night. I dressed myself up as attractively as I could without looking overdressed. I wore a little extra makeup to look as seductive as possible. I wanted to feel as totally feminine as possible. The look in Max’s eyes when he saw me, confirmed to me that I had achieved the desired results.

Before we even had a chance to exit his car at the theater, we had resumed our necking episode. It didn’t change much during the movie as we spent much of the time interlocked together. I think I was acting extra vampy to expunge my thoughts of my birth gender. Max was just being the same horny Max that I always knew; only now I was the apple of his eye that was turning him on. By the end of the evening and I had spent more time kissing him than I had spent kissing over the rest of my life combined. I could no longer explain my passion by getting carried away in an emotional moment. It was something I really enjoyed.

Max gave to me his silver pinky ring at the end of the night to signify that we were going steady. I told him that I would wear it whenever I could and I would put it on a chain and wear it under my blouse at school. It was the first time I had ever gone steady with anyone.

To be continued…

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I WOULD REALLY APPRECIATE ALL FEEDBACK--- MY STORIES ARE PURE FICTION, BUT ARE BASED UPON ACTUAL EVENTS IN MY FANTASIES….