I didn’t see or hear of Johanna once the trial was over, but I never forgot her and how she changed the course of my life.

Being a professional Domme had been very profitable and that along with an inheritance made me decently off, but not uber-rich. The experience of helping her get back to her family had finally made me decide to move on from my previous profession if you could call it that.

I began to remove all the features of my home that had been so beneficial when I was training a submissive. All my Domme clothes were disposed of and the place was re-decorated into a less severe, softer style.

With all the preparations complete I went to an establishment just outside Geneva to begin the journey into my new life.

For ten weeks, I was worked on by a dedicated team of men and women and the result was the new me. Henry Young was no more. I was now called Gina Shaw and I was starting to live my life as a woman. I had decided a long time before that this was my real destiny. Being a Domme was just a means to an end.

I’d had a phase in my teens when I experimented with cross-dressing and for a short time, I lived as a woman. Once I’d discovered that I could make girls do almost anything I wanted them to and was introduced to the BSDM world I went to work as a trainee Dom for a couple of years rather than going to university.

Over the following years I developed a good reputation as a trainer of submissives for clients. Unlike other Dom’s, I never became sadistic or downright cruel unlike ‘Devil Dom’. He was the dark side of the business and one that I hated.

The idea of becoming a woman had never really left me. My last Sub, Raquel had indulged me at the end of her training and for a few brief weeks, we’d lived as a lesbian couple. At first, I was certainly a fake woman, but the longer it went on, the more convinced I was that it was the right choice for me.

But, when she went to live with her new master, my world became empty and barren. It was only the brief time I spent with Johanna that made me finally decide that I could become a woman even if I was going to do it on my own.

While I was on my own, I often wondered if I should buy Raquel back from her Master so that she could be my partner. She’d wanted to become a sub, but I wanted more than she could offer, so in the end, I decided to do it on my own however long it took.

My world was thrown into confusion by Johanna and all that her rescue entailed but it made my mind even more determined.

I’d been living as Johanna for almost three months when my world was turned upside down once more by the arrival of Johanna. This time she came on her own.

“Johanna!”

“Oh!” she replied when she saw my new cleavage.

I went red in the face. Then my hospitality gene kicked in.

“Please come in.”

She came in with a huge smile on her face. It must be due to the surprise of seeing me wearing a dress and showing some cleavage.

I hung up her coat and led her through into the kitchen.

“Please take a seat and tell me why you are here? When you get over seeing how I look now,” I said.

“Thanks.”

I sat opposite and waited for her to speak.

“I sort of wanted to thank you personally for what you did… you know to rescue me and look after me like you did. But…”

I smiled.
“It was something that needed doing. No one should have been treated the way you were.”

She didn’t respond so I asked,
“Do your parents know that you are here?”

Once again, she didn’t respond.

I sighed and got my phone out and put it down in front of her.

“Call them now and put it on speaker. I really don’t want the Police descending on me again.”

She didn’t move. Her eyes were on my breasts.

Suddenly, she realised that I’d said something.

“Sorry! I was miles away.”

“Please call your parents now and I’ll speak to them as well. As I said, I don’t want the Police getting things wrong again especially how I look now.”

Reluctantly, she called her home number.

“Hi Dad. I’m fine and before you ask, I’m in no danger. I’m with the person who rescued me. They insisted that I call you and let you know where I was almost as soon as I arrived.”

“No Dad, they aren’t in the room. They left me alone to call you privately.”

“Yes, I’ll call you when I leave. Stop worrying about me. I’m fine.”

“Bye Dad. See you soon.”

“You can come out now. I’ve hung up the phone.”

I walked back into the kitchen and smiled.

“Good, now why don’t I make us some tea and you can tell me the real reason why you have come all this way to see me, or rather the old me?”

As I filled the kettle, she sat at the small table where I would sit and eat most of my meals.

Once I’d done all the preparation I sat opposite her while the kettle came to a boil.

“I never got the chance to say thank you for everything you did for me. At first I was terrified but there was something in your voice that made me stop worrying.”

“I was glad to help and get that bastard off the streets. But honestly, you didn’t need to come here to thank me. As you can see, I’ve very much left that part of my life behind.”

Johanna sat silent for quite a while.

Then she said,
“I knew that there was something different about you but… but I never expected anything like this.”

I smiled.

“The new me is a big surprise to a lot of people. I mean, it is not every day that you go from someone who trains submissives for a living to someone living as a woman.”

Just then, the kettle boiled.

I placed a cup of tea in front of Johanna who was trying hard to avoid eye contact with me.

I sat opposite her and asked,
“So, what is the real reason that you came here today?”

Again, she avoided looking at me. Instinctively, I knew what it was.

“Did you want me to train you by any chance?”

After several seconds, Johanna nodded her head.

“What made you come to that decision?”

“I heard your testimony. I gave evidence before you so I was allowed to sit in the Public Gallery. The Defence Barrister really gave you a grilling about your lifestyle. What you said about how most of the women you trained had been abused before they came to you, was a revelation to me.”

“Yes, that is true. When people hear about Submissive’s, they think more of the hard-core stuff which is in reality on the extreme edge of the BSDM world. Mine was more like helping often quite broken women find some perspective and purpose in their life. Not giving them the time to dwell on their past is really effective at getting them to let go of their demons and move forward. It does not work for many women, but it does for a good number of them. If you heard my evidence then you know all that anyway. At the end, I said that what I did or rather did do was more like a therapist than anything else.”

Johanna again looked down at her cup of tea. She hadn’t touched it.

“Don’t you think that I’m broken? What he did to me was horrific. At the moment, I can’t function in the world. I came here tonight by Taxi. I made sure that it was driven by a woman. I have real trouble interacting with a man. The Prosecution Barrister that was originally assigned to the case, was a real piece of work. I screamed at him several times before they got the message that I wanted a woman to question me.”

“Yet, you came here to see a man?”

“I knew that you were not going to harm me. Am I being crazy?”

“No, you are not. You are a victim or at least parts of your mind, is telling you that.”

“Will you train me to be a submissive?”

I sat back and looked at her. I was in no doubt that she needed help.

“The problem is that most of the time in my old line of work, the trainee would come here with their sponsor. The sponsor would pay for my time. In return, the trainee would agree to work for them for a period after their training was complete.”

Then I changed tack.

“What do your parents think about your idea?”

She didn’t answer.

“What about your counsellor?”

Still no answer.

“That’s not very good is it? You didn’t tell your parents where you were going and why and you have not discussed this with your counsellor. I think I should get you home, forthwith don’t you?”

This time, she reacted.

“No. I can’t go home. Everything there reminds me of ‘before’. Here, I feel safe. This is ‘after’. Do you understand this?”

I knew exactly what she was talking about.

“I do and that’s why you must speak to your counsellor about how you feel.”

“I can’t. It’s a man. He would not understand. He can’t understand.”

For once, I had to agree with her. I’d seen lots of different types of trauma over the years. Most of it was of bad experiences with men. I managed because I worked hard to get my students to understand that I was not going to hurt them and that they were in a place of safety. Some took longer than others to accept that they were dependent upon a man who was not going to rape or drug or do something else to them.

Her PTSD was real and there for everyone to see.

“Has anyone told you that you have PTSD?”

“I think everyone knows I have it, but they are too scared to confront me about it. They think that I’m too fragile.”

“You are pretty tough, but what you went through, was more than enough to turn people into mush. That’s what he wanted by the way. His subs are totally brainwashed and have no belief in themselves and become totally dependent on him. I firmly believe that you put up so much resistance that he left you in the club as a way of getting rid of bad rubbish if you get my meaning.”

“I think so.”

“Look Johanna, as you can see, I’m a different person now. I was already thinking about heading in this direction, but it was meeting you and learning what had been done to you that made the decision for me. I got out of the game and became the person I am today. Am I making sense?”

Her feeling of disappointment was obvious from her body language.

“I suppose so.”

“Johanna, I’m sorry that I can’t do what you want. Your parents are waiting for a phone call.”

I’d closed the door to her. At the present moment, I could not risk being exposed as my new self until I’d sold up and moved somewhere a long way away from here.

---

I carried on sorting out my home. I put a lot of my Domme stuff into storage with the intention of selling it when I moved. It was hard to do as it had been a big part of my life.

A week later, all my Domme stuff had been snapped up online and my home was clean and sparkling. I was about to put my home on the market when I had some unexpected visitors.

It was Johanna and her parents.

“This is most unexpected, but you are most welcome. Please, do come in.”

I showed them into my sitting room.
“Can I offer you some tea or coffee?”

Her mother smiled.
“I’m sure that I can find my way around the kitchen.”

Her words took me by surprise but I guessed that she wanted to keep herself busy while her husband or Johanna explained the reason for their visit.

“Johanna told us all about her visit. Thank you for insisting that she call us to let us know where she was. We were not very happy when she told us why she’d come. But it wasn’t all that much of a surprise to us or her counsellor.”

I looked at Johanna who was sitting on the edge of her seat.

“It was a shock to me to see how you looked now. You are so different from how you looked at the trial,” said Johanna.

“We had a long talk with Johanna and that’s why we are here today. She understands that you can’t train her to be a submissive, but perhaps there is a way that you can help each other,” said her father.

“I am listening but I can’t for the life of me fathom out how that can be.”

“I work at a private clinic that performs a number of gender reassignments. I know how much the help of a real woman can be to someone who is transitioning. Johanna is willing to help you smooth off the rough edges so to speak in return for letting her live a little of the ‘sub’ lifestyle.”

The offer took me totally by surprise. I had planned to do this on my own, in private. I began to understand what sort of deal he was offering.

“Johanna, can we take a walk? I’d like to hear exactly what it is that you want in your own words.”

I turned to her father and said,
“I hope you don’t mind me doing this, but I get the feeling that there are some things that Johanna would tell me and not you at the moment.”

He nodded his head.

I offered my hand to her. She took it and we went out into the back garden.

“Ok Johanna, what is it that you really want?”

“A safe place where I can be myself.”

“Which self is that? The one before you were kidnapped or the one now?”

“The one now.”
Then she added,
“Is that so bad?”

“It depends upon what you want for your life as a sub?”

“I… I want to be restrained. Not locked in a cell type of restraint but not able to leave unless we agree on it. That way I will be safe.”

Her PTSD was alive and kicking. I was the perfect person to understand the trauma that she'd been through.

“What about your parents?”

“We could visit them and they could come and see me as I want to live my life.”

“Exactly how is that? How do you want to be restrained?”

“That is down to you. You will be the mistress. Something that is obvious would be best.”

“What about working on me? How would you do that if you are restrained?”

She smiled. It was a nice smile.
“We would go out and visit places and I’d help you become a lot more feminine in your movement and just the way you go about life. When we returned then I would be restrained again.”

It all sounded too good to be true.

“And when my training as a woman is done? What then?”

“I hoped… I sort of hoped that we might be able to live together as a couple?”

“I’m a lot older than you. What about that?”

“You don’t look it. The surgery you had done on your face has taken years off you.”

She was right. My doctors had commented on that fact the last time I’d been to see them for a follow-up.

“I don’t know.”

“Do you have someone special in your life? I don’t think so?”
Her words stunned me. They were not what I’d expected.

“I don’t, but what if we don’t work out?”

“Then I go home with my tail between my legs.”

She had an answer for everything but she was right. I was all alone in the world.

“I need to think about all this.”

I led her back into the house.
Her parents were waiting for us. They had hopeful looks on their faces.

“I have listened to what Johanna had to say. I will have to think about all this. To say that it is a surprise would be an understatement. I hope you understand where I am coming from?”

“We do but?” said her mother.

“You want to know when?”

Everyone nodded their heads.
“I don’t like sitting on things so how about I come to see you this time next week with my decision?”

Her father stood up and offered his hand to me. I took it.

“We will see you then,” he said.
He wrote down their address on a page from a notebook and handed it to me.

“Thanks. There is one thing that you should know right now. If I do agree to this then it won’t take place here. I am about to put this house on the market. I don’t know where I’ll end up at the moment.”

“Thank you for being honest with us. We appreciate that. Johanna was right in that you are a straight shooter.”

When they’d gone, I sat down and did what I’d always done when I needed to de-stress and that was to do some knitting. The click-clack of the needles had always been calming right from when I saw my mother knitting a scarf for me to wear to school. She’d been proud to teach me the art of knit one, purl one.

---

[one week later at Johanna’s home]

I was very nervous about meeting them again but a scarf and a half of knitting had allowed me to decide about what to do.

“Thanks for seeing me today,” I said as an opener.
“Thank you for coming when you said you would,” said her father.

“I have thought long and hard about this and with some reservations and provisions, I have agreed to help out.”

“What sort of provisions?” asked her mother.

“As I told you last week, I’m going to move house. If Johanna is going to live with me for at least a while then I would like her help in finding a new place to live. It will help us all to see if we can get on in a very stressful part of our lives. If that falls apart then the deal is off.”

Johanna could hardly contain herself with excitement.

“When would you want to start?” asked her mother.

“Right now, today. There is no time like the present.”

---

“Nervous?” I asked Johanna as we drove away from her parents.

“Yes, but I’m happy to get away from them. They want to keep me wrapped in cotton wool.”

I’d sensed that early on. There were even signs when they gave a press conference after the trial. Johanna was not allowed to answer.

“What if this is a case of frying pan and fire?”

“I’m good.”

I knew that I was being used by her to get away from her cocoon, but deep down, she was a nice person. No, she was more than that. She was a good person who had been altered forever by Devil Dom. I felt honoured to have her in my life and anything I could do to repair at some of the psychological damage that he’d done to her then so much the better.

---

[five months later]

Johanna and I watched the removal van drive away. We were on our own in our new home. This was very different to my old one. This was a smallholding deep in the country. A one hundred hectare woodland would be ideal for my plans as was the seven hectares of fields for crops especially growing feed for the pigs that I was going to buy. Ever since I’d raised a piglet as a child, I’d wanted to have a place where I could do it for real.

“I’m glad that is over,” I said.

“So am I.”

Then she offered me her hands as if I was going to put handcuffs on her.

“I guess it is time then?”

“Please?”

I led her inside the house where I opened a box that I’d not entrusted to the movers.

“I thought long and hard about how I could restrain you. This is what I choose.”

I pulled out a length of chain from the box. On the end of the chain, there was a collar.

“This is much like the collar that you were wearing when I found you at the club. It self-locks when you click the ends together. The keys are in the safe that we bought last week.”

I handed it to Johanna. She didn’t even examine it. Instead, she put it around her neck and clicked it shut.

I took the other end and after a little work, I secured it to a large ceiling beam. She tried to pull it loose but it was there for the duration.

“Thank you,” she said smiling.

“When will your parents be here?”

“Tomorrow lunchtime. Why?”

“Thank you for doing that.”

“Don’t thank me yet. We have a lot or work to do together before their visit.:

Her eyes went to the floor in a submissive pose.

“Come on, we should get started.”

---

I greeted her parents who were surprised to find their daughter restrained.

“Johanna told me about her desires when we went for that walk in the garden. I agreed to do this but the hope is that in time, it won’t be needed.”

Her mother didn’t say much but I saw that her father understood.

“I’d like you to hold these,” I said giving him an envelope.
“These are the spare keys to her collar. If Johanna wants to leave and I don’t want her to, then all she needs to do is call you and she can leave.”

Her father took the envelope and looked at both of us.
“Thank you for trusting us with this. We will treasure it.”

He took hold of Johanna’s hand.
“You are in a safe place my darling. Look after this lovely lady, she is one in a million.”

As we watched them leave with the spare keys, Johanna took hold of my hand.

I closed the door and sighed. I had a lot to learn about having a non-Domme/sub relationship with a woman.

The same applied to raising rare breed pigs. A small herd came with the smallholding but I had plans to make a small living from them. Together, we made many mistakes but it was therapeutic for both of us.

---

Life with Johanna settled down into some sort of routine. She took great delight in testing me in various ways that stopped us from becoming a boring couple and was a useful diversion from looking after the pigs and a growing flock of chickens.

.

---

It wasn't only one-way traffic. Johanna was as good as her word and spent a lot of time working on how I presented myself in public. There were so many little things that needed work but she kept at it and gradually, things became almost second nature.

Johanna had been with me for almost six months when our cosy little world was turned upside down with the arrival of Inspector Callaghan. He’d been in charge of the investigation into Johanna’s kidnapping and the subsequent prosecution of Dom.

“This is not a welcome surprise Inspector. I have not forgiven you for arresting me when you were in possession of plenty of evidence to prove that I had nothing to do with her kidnapping.”

He remained straight-faced. His beady eyes gave me no confidence in anything he would say or do.
“I hope that in time, we can come to a mutual understanding?”

“No chance of that Inspector. As you can see, I am a different person these days as you can see…”

He shook his head.
“Leopards don’t change their spots.”

“Well, I did… Didn’t I Johanna?”

His mouth dropped open at the mention of the former kidnap victim.

Johanna had been standing in the background trying to stay silent.

To say that her presence blindsided him would be an understatement.

“Don’t worry Inspector. Johanna is here of her own free will and with her parents blessing. Now… what is it that we can do for you? Please don’t let it be that Devil Dom has escaped from jail?”

“As far as I know he is suffering in Long Lartin Prison. The inmates don’t take kindly to the way he mistreated women. He’s been in solitary for most of the time because he tried to shiv a guard. He comes up for trial next month on Attempted Murder.”

That news pleased me. I saw a smile appear on Johanna’s face.

“Ok, so what is it then?”

“It is a little difficult but we have found someone else who has been mistreated by a sadist.”

I soon made 2+2=4.
“And you’d like me to work with her to resolve her issues?”

“Something like that. Are you game?”

I didn’t need to think.

“Sorry Inspector. I’m done with all that stuff. As you can see with your cops eyes, I am a very different person now and I have Johanna to think about. Seeing another young lady who had been through what Johanna had would not do my mental state any favours.”

“I’m with her on this,” said Johanna.

“Who, said that it is a young woman? I didn’t.”

“I don’t care. I can give you the name of a tame Dominatrix who would be more than happy to take on the challenge. Are you game?”
The last part was my attempt to turn the tables on the Inspector.

“Still not interested?”

“Sorry Inspector. As I said, I’m done with all that stuff.”

---

Once the Inspector had left, I sat down and cried. Johanna came and comforted me.

“You can’t save all of them darling. You saved me and that’s why I love you so much. I’d almost given up hope of ever being free again when he left me in that club.”

“I just happened to be in the right place at the right time.”

“You were and took total control of the situation if what was said at his trial was anything to go by.”

“I did just what I thought was right. I didn’t even think about it at first. It was only later that I understood that I had to call the police and involve them in your rescue. That… that was out of my comfort zone.”

“And the Inspector still gives you nightmares?”

“Something like that…”

“Then we should try to move forward, shouldn’t we?”

It took me a few seconds to grasp what Johanna was suggesting.

“Am I right in thinking that we should do what the Inspector wants?”

“I am but only on our terms.”

“Our terms?”

Johanna smiled.
“Yes, our terms. We do it in our own time and in our own way. We know from how long it took you to sort me out that it is not a simple job and that every case will be different.”

I looked at Johanna and wondered if I had in some respect created a monster, a very beautiful monster but still a monster.

Johanna smiled at me.
“You are not alone in this you know. I’m part of the team too.”

“That’s what is worrying me. You are still delicate.”

Johanna laughed.
“Me? Delicate? Far from it my darling. Think of it as part of my healing.”

I mentally shook my head. I wasn’t going to win this one.

“I’ll need to think about this so don’t go phoning the Inspector, ok?”

Johanna grinned back at me. We were ok.

---

[the next morning]

“If we do this then we have to do it properly. By that, I mean get a formal written agreement with the Police or more likely, the Home Office. That way we will be official agents of the Police and working for them so we can’t or shouldn’t be prosecuted for what we are doing at their request. We must also video everything. When I freed you, I put you in my sub’s training quarters. That was covered by CCTV. This place does not have any CCTV apart from the two external cameras.”

“You have been thinking about this haven’t you?”

“I have and I’m not happy. Deep down, I know that I got lucky, very lucky with the work I did with you. That might not be the same in future. They might not have the same mental resolution that you have. The last thing I… we want is for a client to give up hope and top themselves. Do you understand this?”

“I think I do.”

“Good. Then we think about it some more.”

Johanna came around to my side of the table and sat on my lap.
“It will also spoil what we have going on here won’t it?”

Before I could answer, she kissed me.
When we began to get ‘involved’ with each other, I had initially resisted but she wore me down. It wasn’t difficult. Johanna was so very attractive and intelligent that was hard to resist.

---

[Three days later]

“Are you sure about this?” I asked Johanna.

“I am. You gave me plenty of time to think things through and I’m happy. We will say no to the Inspector should he call again.”

“Good. Then we can get on with our lives as before and not have the stress of trying to… Well, we just don’t.”

I leaned over and kissed her.
“In that case, I think that Bertha is about to farrow.”

Bertha was one of our Gloucester Old Spot sows. We had six Gloucester sows and three Berkshire sows. They all lived in our woodland and were only brought into a sty to farrow.

A litter of twelve or thirteen piglets was more than enough young ones to look after and we didn’t need another one.

[the end]
[postscript]

I gradually weaned Johanna off of being restrained. Every so often her PTSD would rear its ugly head up and the simple act of putting the collar around her neck calmed her down almost instantly. Thankfully, the instances of me needing to do that were getting less and less but it didn’t look like I could put the last reminders of my former life away for good any time soon.