“Moira, do you think that Neil is a fake?” asked Melissa as she helped with the food for the party.

“I do. Thanks to TV shows like ‘Outback Truckers’, I’ve seen people who work on huge Northern Territory Stations. That’s what they call farms out there. They all have seen the sun. His skin is almost as white as mine.”

Melissa thought back to her conversation with Neil.
“His accent isn’t very strong either.”

Then she added,
“What can be done about it? I mean, if he is a con man…?”

Moira smiled.
“Henry agrees with me and has already made a few calls to his old boss at the FCO[1]. His younger brother is an assistant to the High Commissioner [2] in Canberra. Some questions will be asked of the state police. He took Neil’s photo with his phone, and that will be used to verify his identity with our Border Force people or at least the identity he used when coming into the country. If they don't tally, then he is a conman.”

“It all seems very complicated.”

“Patience, my dear. Give it a few days or a week, and I’m sure that it will sort itself out. In the meantime, are you going to get some time alone with my son? I know that you have a lot to talk about.”

“I hope so, but I have Zane and Brittany to think of as well.”

Moira reached over and took hold of Melissa’s hand.

“I’m sure that after the party today, there will be a queue of local young men just wanting to get to know her a lot better. With Zane in tow, I’m sure that nothing will go wrong, especially if you make sure that Brittany is well briefed.”

Then Moira chuckled.
“Sorry for that. I didn’t mean to try to preach how to be a mother to you.”

Melissa grinned.
“That’s ok, Moira. I’m… We are the visitors here. I’ll give both of them a talking to, especially as it looks like alcohol will be freely available. I don’t want to get you into trouble.”

Moira shook her head.
“We are nowhere near as strict on the drinking age here as you are back home. My parents introduced me to a wee dram when I was eight. Purely medicinal and very watered down, and had some honey added to it. I used the same remedy on Jack when he caught a bad cold, and it has not done him any harm now, has it?”

“I see your point. Nevertheless, for us across the pond, even the merest hint of something like a DUI can ruin a life. That’s just how we are, I’m afraid. Then there is their father. I’m already going to be in very hot water for taking them out of the USA like I did, even if it was their idea. He may try to keep me from seeing them again.”

“Melissa darling, why not think of it a different way? If he does obtain full custody of them, then that is only until they come of age, is it not?”

“Yes. Why?”

“That could give you some time to get your future sorted out without having to include them for a year or eighteen months. Then, when they are adults, you can have an adult relationship with them. Jack went away to Charterhouse School in Surrey for his sixth form. That coincided with part of our term in DC. It was perfect timing. When he left school, he was legally an adult, and we began to have an adult-to-adult relationship with him. None of this hanging on his parents’ coattails.”

“I begin to get the idea. Thank you, Moira. I’ll just have to roll with it. Whatever the dice shows, I’ll handle it.”

Moira looked up at the clock.
“I think you should go and find your children and have a little talk with them. It is only a couple of hours before things begin to get going.”

The party was a great success, especially when it was discovered that Brittany knew how to do the jive and tango properly. She became the centre of attention as she gave an impromptu dance lesson to those in attendance. Soon, the place was, as the Americans say, 'hopping'.

Melissa kept in the background and watched with some pride as Brittany had the whole room jumping to her beat. Zane played his part as her dancing partner, even if he was rather clumsy with his feet. That very clumsiness earned him a huge cheer when he fell flat on his backside when a spin went wrong. To his credit, he didn’t get angry, but in line with the general good mood of the party, he took a bow, which received an even louder cheer.

The one person who was noticeably missing from the party was Neil. It was noticed because there was a shearing challenge, and given his heritage, people were sure that he would know how to shear a sheep. Henry noticed this early on and sent someone in search of him, but he was nowhere to be found. His bags had gone from the bedroom next to Melissa’s. Then it was discovered that the car that he’d turned up in had also disappeared from where it was parked next to Melissa’s rental car.

To Moira, that proved that he was a fake and would not be missed. She guessed that he knew nothing about the shearers being on the estate before he arrived and that, with sheep shearing being almost a national sport in parts of Australia, he left before he was discovered to be nothing more than a fraudster.

The farm was quiet the following morning. A few stragglers who had found a straw bale to crash out on were wearily making their way home. The shearing team had left early and, for once, fairly quietly. They were off to their next contract job, leaving a few of the tenants to clean up the barn. All of them agreed that it had been a good night and was the least that they could do after such a good end to the shearing season.

Melissa slept much longer than she’d planned to, but she felt very relaxed with how the party had gone. Much of that was down to how well Brittany and Zane had joined in with the fun. She knew that she would never have dared lead an impromptu dancing lesson with a load of strangers at her age if they were back in their former home. Tongues would have wagged and assumptions made, even if they were wrong. In her family, ‘uptight’ was the order of the day, week, month and year. Jeff was much the same. People like them had a position to keep in their local society. That was to remain aloof from the hoi polloi unless absolutely necessary to raise money or get a vote. That was not Brittany and Zane. For that, she was very proud. The ‘country club’ set was not for them, for which she gave a lot of thanks.

Melissa lay back in her bed and listened to the sounds from outside. A tractor was doing something, and a few sheep could be heard bleating. For some reason, she began to smile. It was almost as if she had found her real home.

After a shower in a bathroom that needed some refurbishment, she went in search of Jack, Brittany, Zane or anyone.

She found them in the kitchen of the main house, sitting around the table and having a very late breakfast.

“Hello, sleepy,” joked Jack.

“Ok, ok. I slept in,” said Melissa, who smiled back at him.

“Mom, we could hear your snoring from outside the house,” said Zane.

“Ok. Just don’t rub it in. I might have had a couple of drinks last night. Right now, I need some strong coffee.”

“That’s all right, my dear. You were not drunk by any means,” said Moira.
“I expect that it was some jet lag catching up with you.”

“Maybe, but even so, I should not have had anything to drink.”

“I was watching out for these fine young people,” said Moira.
“And I am pleased to report that they didn’t get drunk, nor did they embarrass themselves. They did the opposite.”

Melissa sat down as Brittany poured some coffee for her mother.
“I… Thank you, Moira. I just have to hope that Brittany’s dance class does not start trending on social media. If… If Jeff finds out, then he’ll be on the warpath.”

No one spoke for almost a minute.
“Let Dad blow his top,” said Zane.
“We didn’t consume any booze, so we broke no laws.”

Melissa started looking at things on her phone after it pinged with the arrival of a message.

After a few seconds, Melissa shook her head.
“We are too late. Jeff just emailed me asking how the hell I let my daughter prostitute herself like that. He’s demanding that we all return home today, or he’ll file suit against me for child endangerment.”
“Can I see that?” asked Henry.

Melissa’s shoulders sank as she gave him her phone.

“Child endangerment is not going to fly. That isn’t a crime here as Brittany is over sixteen, and US law does not apply here.”

“You know that won’t stop him,” said Melissa.
“I know him and have met some of his more radical evangelical cohorts. He’s even tried to introduce a bill into the House that would ban sex before marriage, but only for women. If having Dobbs thrown out a month or so ago was not bad enough, there are some in his caucus who want women to be made to wear chastity belts from puberty until they get married. It didn’t fly, but it shows intent. The show, ‘A Handmaid’s Tale’, was like 1984, a warning, but some of the craziest members of the party are starting to treat it as a handbook. Stripping women of healthcare rights is just the first tiny step. One or two are talking about making all forms of contraceptive illegal as part of their move to enslave women and return things to when women could not do anything without the written permission of their husband.”

“What should we do, Mom?” asked Brittany.

“All we can do is return home as soon as possible. Today, if possible.”

“Mom?” exclaimed Brittany.
“We are in the middle of nowhere? It took us hours to drive up from near Manchester.”

“Any thoughts, Jack? Henry?”

“I think that our best bet is to get down to London and fly first thing in the morning,” said Jack.

“We?”

Jack smiled.
“I’m not letting you go through this on your own, and I’m not going to argue.”

“Jack’s right,” said Henry.
“You need someone at your side. Zane and Brittany will be going back to school soon, and from what you have told us, you should not have to go through this on your own. Besides, you are all family to us. I will be at your side when you speak to him.”

Melissa briefly shook her head but soon calmed down. To have someone say that to her was, for a moment, slightly unnerving, but then she realised that it was said in kindness. She knew from then on, they had her back.

“Thanks, Henry, but you don’t need to say that. We have brought nothing but trouble on you since we arrived.”

“Mom!” said Zane, who until now had remained silent.
“Brits and I like it here. We talked things over this morning, and we both feel the same. Moira and Henry are the grandparents that we should have had. Don’t throw this away.”

“Mom,” said Brittany.
“We both think that you should marry Jack when we get home. That will tell Dad that you are serious about moving on and taking us with you.”

“It won’t be that easy. I can’t tell what he will do to you. He could send both of you off to some evangelical school, and given how many judges in his district that he has in his pocket, I could not do a thing to stop him legally.”

Zane looked at his sister. Both of them had a determined look on their faces.

“Then we’d go and tough it out. I know that we have only been here a short time, but for the first time in our lives, we have been treated as adults and not as children who need to be kept in cotton wool for the rest of our lives or married off for the financial benefit of our parents.”

He looked at Henry and Moira before saying,
“I’m eighteen in a few months. If it all goes sour, then I’m going to drop out of school, and if it is ok with you, I’d like to come over here. There is what you guys call a sixth-form college in York that does the International Baccalaureate. They’ll take my credits from school, and I’d only have to sit the final year.”

“I’ll do the same the day after my eighteenth birthday,” echoed Brittany.

Those powerful words from her children hit home to Melissa. She was proud of them.

She had a feeling of being in the place that destiny had decreed for her. It was the same feeling that she’d had since that fateful day when she had a flat and Jack rescued her.

“Ok, we go back to DC and face him out,” she said after a big sigh.
“I’ll email him and tell him that, as we are not exactly close to an airport that has flights to the US, we will try to fly home tomorrow. That should give him time to cool down a bit. Plus, I have shown a willingness to comply with his request. I will emphasise the word ‘try’. If it happens that the flights are full, then… what is the word you used, Henry? ‘tough’.”

All the time, Zane had been fiddling with Melissa’s phone.
“Mom, your phone has been bugged. Look here. Did you install this app recently?”

Melissa looked at what Zane was showing her.
“There is no way that I’d install an app with the name ‘Little Red Riding Hood Listens’. It was installed yesterday.”

Brittany started to tap away ferociously.
“That app listens to everything being said. It is keyed to a person’s voice. Then it sends it all to some system in Russia.”

“So, whoever did it is listening to us right now?” asked Moira.

“Probably,” said Zane.

Moira took a deep breath.
“Neil or whatever your name is, if you ever come back here, you will probably end up being tarred, covered in sheep wool and left on the village green wrapped in barbed wire. Whatever your little game is, we are onto it. If you were the genuine article, then you would have stayed, but you ran away like the coward you are.”

“Now take that thing away before I take a rolling pin to it!”

Everyone had a good laugh at the thought of the normally mild-mannered Moira beating the hell out of the phone with her rolling pin.

“I’ll deal with this piece of junk,” said Zane.
“When I have removed this app and reinstalled everything, I’ll send an email to Dad saying that we are returning ASAP, depending upon the availability of flights with empty seats, but it will be tomorrow at the earliest. I will remind him that it is the holiday season here, and lots of people are flying across the Atlantic.”

He smiled at his mother.
“Is that ok, Mom?”

“Perfect darling, perfect. I’ll get a new phone when we get home.”

Jack managed to book them all onto a flight to Boston the following morning. Thankfully, the tickets that they’d bought to come to the UK were not set in stone. They were able to rearrange their booking without having to buy three new tickets. He added one for himself, and within the hour, he had all the details printed out and ready to go.

Melissa sat back and watched everyone pulling together. She was proud of her children, only they weren’t children any longer. That made her sad. She’d missed so much of their growing up without even noticing it. It was time to correct that. She made another call, this time to the USA.

It had been that regret that she’d talked to them about at the airport before their flight to Manchester. She had made both of them promise to be part of their lives and not send them off to boarding school just to avoid any possible embarrassment around donors. It was a heart-to-heart that brought the three of them closer than they’d ever been since they were babies.

With that call, Melissa arranged for her accountant/lawyer to meet them at Logan Airport with a document that, with the right signatures, would grant her full custody of Zane and Brittany. Then, the four of them would fly down to DC, landing at Reagan International, which was a short cab ride to the hotel that Zane had booked using Melissa’s Credit Card and then onto Jeff's apartment. It was a real team effort.

[late the following day in Washington DC]

“Ready?” asked Jack.
“I think so,” replied a hesitant Melissa.
“We have your back, Mom,” said Brittany.

Her words failed to bolster her confidence.
“Let’s get this over with,” said Zane.

“Ok. Once more into the breach, my friends,” said Melissa, trying to make a joke, but it fell a bit flat.

Melissa led the way up to the front door of her former husband’s DC apartment. Her old car was parked outside. She'd given it to him as part of the settlement. He'd driven it up from the district, but so far, he had not found time to go to the DMV and change the registration. She briefly thought about the possibility of him not running and him having to use it to move all his belongings back to the district.

She rang the bell and stepped back from the door. No sounds were coming from inside the department.

Suddenly, the porch light went on even though the sun was shining. The door opened, and there stood Jeff.

“Ah! I wondered when you would turn up?” he said to Melissa in a very nasty tone of voice.
“Hi, Kids!”
They didn’t answer apart from glaring back at their father. They wanted it clear from the start that he was the enemy.
“And who is this then?”

“Hello, Jeff. This is Jack.”

“Ah, the toy boy,” said Jeff as he tried to get some reaction from his former wife.

“Toy boy? He’s the same age as you, but he works for a living, unlike the other adult male here; besides, I’m not the one who broke at least three of the Ten Commandments, so just shut the hell up,” said Melissa as she walked past him into the apartment.

The look on her face told Jeff that she was not going to roll over and accept his demands without at least a bit of a fight. As with the divorce settlement, she was prepared for the encounter with her former husband.

She was followed by Brittany, Zane and Jack.

When they’d sat down, Jeff stood at the door with his arms folded.
“What the hell were you thinking of letting a sixteen-year-old get involved with a bunch of Neanderthals like that?”

He was referring to the dance lesson that Brittany gave to the crowd in the barn.
“They are not Neanderthals, as you put it. They were hard-working people letting off a bit of steam after a week and a half of working hard from dawn to dusk. Our very talented daughter had them enthralled by her skills on the dancefloor, so she gave an impromptu lesson in the Jive and Tango. Before you go off on a rant, she is just following your example. We used to be pretty good on the dance floor, didn’t we? And if I recall correctly, you insisted that I should learn to dance in the first place.”

“What sort of work demands that sort of celebration? It is not a holiday as far as I know.”

“Sheep shearing. It is hard physical work, but not that you would not even know the slightest thing about hard physical work. The team of shearers move around from farm to farm, shearing the sheep. They had been on Jack’s estate for twelve days, so they threw a party for the shearers and the tenants,” answered a defiant Melissa.

Brittany tittered at the take-down that her father had just suffered.

“And I take it that booze was being served? You know that it is a crime to serve booze to under-21s. My children are not going to become alcoholics.”

Melissa was prepared for this change of tack.
“OUR children did not consume any ‘booze’ as you put it. They are not stupid. When they are legally able to consume it, they will and not before. I was in attendance at all times, so if you doubt me, then I’m sure a blood test would prove that they have not consumed any booze apart from a bit of sherry in the trifle. That is not illegal where they were at the time, and as a lawyer, you should know about the limits of laws as they apply to state and national boundaries. Just to make it clear, the age at which ‘booze’ can be bought in the UK is the same as it is to vote here: eighteen. OUR children will be of age very soon, and your antiquated and downright regressive views will no longer apply to them.”

Jeff glared at his daughter. Brittany was prepared to face down her father.

“I did nothing wrong. All I did was teach a few people how to do the jive and tango. I learned them at school as part of the training you insisted that I have to make me more presentable to your cronies,” she said, smiling as she backed up her mother.

Jeff seemed to be taken aback by the way his daughter had spoken.

“Shut the hell up. This is between your delinquent mother and me!.”

“No, Dad, it isn’t,” said Zane.
“We aren’t children any more. I’ll be of age in a few months and, therefore, beyond your control. The difference between here and with Jack is huge. Over there, we are treated as young adults and not children who should be seen and never heard and then used to move our political careers forward. We are not items to trade for favors.”

Jeff glared at his son.

Then he turned his attention to Jack.
“And who the hell are you to get involved with my family?”

“Me? I’m just a small landowner and the son of a former UK Ambassador to the USA.”
He paused for effect and smiled.
“The Honourable Lord Hawes at your service.”

“You are no fucking Lord.”

“Dad, you are wrong,” said Brittany.
“Here, look at this.”

She passed him her phone. She had a browser page open. It was Jack's page in 'Burkes Peerage'.

Jeff merely glanced at it before throwing the phone against the brick wall.

“Jeff…” said Melissa.
“There was no reason to act like that. I had hoped that you would be reasonable, but no. You want our no-longer diaper-wearing children to be just like you. They have had their eyes opened these last few days. I had hoped to avoid this, but this is for you.”

Melissa opened her bag, produced a sheet of paper and gave it to her former husband.

“What the fuck is this?”

“That, my dear Jeff, is a notice of a hearing where I will be petitioning for full custody of our children until they come of age. I am citing your infidelity as grounds. I know that the more evangelical of your backers won’t want to open their checkbooks and give to someone who has a record of affairs with his interns.”

Jeff didn’t answer right away, so Melissa carried on.
“Where is the little lady then?”

“She’s down in Georgia visiting her parents. She’s planning our wedding in late September”

The news of a marriage and a date momentarily stunned Melissa.

“So, you aren’t running then?”

Jeff smiled.
“I am, and both my campaign team and the RNC think that it will be good publicity for my campaign.”

This time, Melissa laughed.
“And there you are in an ‘R+ 25’ district. Feeling the heat then?”

“As far as I know, I will be up against a Democratic ‘Carpetbagger’ called Nicholas Zakoria, and two Independents will be on the ballot. Will Parker will stand no chance.”

Melissa shook her head.
“Will Parker, eh? That ‘carpetbagger’, as you put it, was born just a few miles from where we lived. He is more local than you, and his family have farmed their land since the late 1890s, but it won’t matter in the long run. Once you get addicted to the DC gravy train, you are well and truly hooked, just like hard drugs.”

Then, she changed the subject without waiting.
“Are you going to oppose my request for custody?”

Jeff looked at Brittany and then Zane before replying.
“No. You can have the delinquents. When was the last time any of you went to church?”

“I received mass from the Pope in Rome on my ‘grand tour’,” said Melissa proudly.

The mention of a Catholic was horrific for Jeff.
“How could you? You heathen. The Pope of all people!”

“I think of it as a sign directing my future. Jack here is Catholic, but I went to mass before I met him. His family have lived in almost the same place since before King John signed the Magna Carta over eight hundred years ago. They survived the Reformation of Henry the Eighth and are at peace with the world. I know that this might seem strange, but I read about this Rabbi when I was in London[3]. He was friends with priests in almost every major religion. Even an Imam spoke at his funeral service. Can you imagine that happening here? No, you can’t. That’s why I’m moving to the UK. I’m done with you and your lot of raving MAGA madmen. Those crazies have destroyed your party, and I’m so happy that I’m going to take our children to a slightly saner society. Oh, and one where people don’t feel the need to go around carrying assault rifles, unlike some of the people you claim to represent.”

“Oh,” added Melissa,
“You should read about the Magna Carta. Much of it was incorporated into the Declaration of Independence that some of your lot want to overturn and make this a Police State.”

Jeff looked stunned by that outburst.

Brittany took hold of her mother’s hand. Tears were running down her cheeks.
“Well said, Mom.”

A good minute of silence was broken by Jeff.
“What about you, son?”

“I’m with Mom. We visited a great school where Brits can become a Veterinarian, and I can study low-impact farming. Jack went there to study agriculture.”

Then he added,
“Sorry, Dad, our future is not in this country with its factory farms and hormone-laden meat. The lamb and beef we ate at Jack’s home were fed only on grass. It tasted fantastic. So, when Mom marries Jack, and we are of age, we can look into becoming British citizens. You will always be welcome to come and visit, but we are like Mom, done with this shit hole, especially the one that you lot of lunatics want to create. I have read a draft of the manifesto that you helped create for ‘Project 2025’. The electorate will never stand for that level of state control. Small government? That’s for the proles. The Federalist Society and the rest of the loonies who put that document together want to control everyone all the time. 1984 was a warning. You lot will have gone way, way farther than even Orwell warned us about. Oh, wait… don’t you want to ban books like that and even the Bible…? That’s full of sex and violence… but you won’t, will you?”

That little rant failed to stop Jeff.

“Did you infect my children with these commie ideas?”

Melissa looked hurt by the accusation.
“For one thing, these two young adults are our children, and no, I didn’t infect them with any ideas. I knew that Brittany wanted to become a vet, and Zane was never going to follow you to the DC Swamp even if he ended up going to Law School. He made that perfectly clear to me last year that he didn’t want to be like you in any way. All I did was say to him that he should do what he feels from his heart when it comes to his life and not let us influence him to become just like us.”

Melissa looked at Zane, who shook his head.

“What happens next?” asked a slightly shell-shocked Jeff.

“Firstly, you sign this letter that gives me full custody of our children. Then, you get it notarized so that it can be presented to the court. Then, I can have custody of our children. That leaves you free to raise your new child and look after your new bride. The last thing I want to hear is that you have been caught bedding your new intern. Got it?”

“I get it. Where are you staying? Just so that I can send my letter there.”

“Send it here,” said Melissa as she produced the card of her accountant/lawyer near Boston. He prepared this letter for me. He will know where I am.”

Jeff took the card.

No one had anything more to say, so the four visitors left him to stew.

[to be continued]

[1] FCO: The Foreign and Commonwealth Office of the UK Government
[2] High Commissioner: Equivalent to ambassadors to countries that are members of the Commonwealth and are not republics.
[3] Rabbi Lionel Blue: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lionel_Blue
He was also gay.
https://www.theguardian.com/world/2016/dec/19/rabbi-lionel-b...