I lost count of how many times Sergeant Vale ran us through that simulation, or others like it, that afternoon and into the evening. It was one brutal simulation after another until they all sort of blended into one nightmarish encounter that seemed to last forever. So, yeah, I lost count, and I was pretty sure that I didn’t want to know the real number anyway. For some things, just letting it all blur together seemed to be a mercy.

One of those things was how many times I had to shock Karen to get her to snap out of it when she froze up after seeing someone injured or dying. I felt horrible for doing it every time, and every time she just quietly thanked me, which made me feel worse in a way. There was no biting sarcasm, no attitude, just a quiet, “Thanks, Major,” like she was resigned to it or felt that she deserved it.

It wasn’t just Karen who was having trouble freezing up and/or dealing with flashbacks either. None of us were immune, we all saw things that brought back traumatic memories, scared us shitless, or made us freeze up for one reason or another, me included. Sometimes a splash of cold water was enough to snap us out of it and sometimes one of us needed a slap to the face from a teammate. Every single time, the simulation would take advantage of our mistakes or inability to act.

If Sergeant Vale was trying to teach us that freezing up and making mistakes in combat was costly and endangered the whole team, he was making his point abundantly clear. We spent until dinnertime in simulation after simulation, never once completing the mission objective, having to face our worst fears over and over again. By the time he finally dismissed us to eat something and get some rest for the evening, we were all mentally and physically exhausted, not to mention shaken up.

Despite his hard-ass attitude and the fact that he was repeatedly putting us through hell, I didn’t think that Sergeant Vale was enjoying our suffering. Oh sure, he would viciously tell us all exactly what we did wrong after every attempt, but he praised us when it was deserved and always told us how we could improve as well. I also got the sense that he was enjoying putting us all through this as much as we enjoyed being his victims, which was not much at all. Still, I thought this training was excessive and might just cause more problems than it solved in the long run.

Eventually, he dismissed us all, with the foreboding announcement that we would be continuing this grueling training three afternoons a week until school started, or he thought that we could handle ourselves in a real combat situation. We would have a reprieve until Friday after lunch this week, but next week we would be thrown in the meat grinder on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, from one o’clock until dinnertime. If we couldn’t handle combat by the time classes started, then we could expect to find more of these training sessions to be added somewhere in our already busy schedules.

With all of that, none of us were in a great mood as those of us who had been issued weapons checked them back in with Private Callas and we headed to the mess hall for dinner, mostly because we were all starving and wanted to sit down for a bit. Ainslee had already called Aunt Maya during one of our brief nectar and hydration breaks earlier to let her and the twins know that we probably wouldn’t be home for dinner. By the time that we had all gotten our meals in the mess hall and found a table that had a Sprite-sized table on it for me and Poppy to sit at, we all slumped into our chairs.

For several minutes we all just ate in glum silence. Surprisingly, Karen was the first of us to speak. “Well, that fucking sucked. That sadistic asshole is just going out of his way to make us suffer.”

“Okay, I’ll admit that he’s pushing us hard, and I don’t like him using our fears and trauma against us like that any more than you do, Karen, but do we really have a choice? It’s better if we all get over that shit in the relative safety of the simulation room now than being thrown into an Incursion Zone with little or no preparation later. Or would you all rather have to deal with all of this when there are real lives on the line and our freezing up or making stupid mistakes could cost those lives?” I hated feeling choiceless, and putting the others through this, but what alternative did we have?

There was another brief silence before my sister let out a long sigh and spoke up as well. “You do have a point, but couldn’t he just ease us into it? I can’t believe I’m saying this, but I agree with Ainslee’s juice box. That guy was taking things too far, Sis.”

This earned her a frown and a glower from Karen, who snapped, “I’m not Red’s anything, Whitey. Just because I’ve been put on this team and told to feed her doesn’t mean…”

“I’m sorry,” Ainslee mumbled, cutting off whatever protest Karen was in the midst of. “I didn’t ask for that as part of your sentencing. I know you’re probably not looking forward to it either, especially with how I fed on you last time. I… I was hurt and instincts took over, so I was a bit… savage. Honestly, that scares me too. I probably could have killed you if you didn’t have so much vitae in your blood.”

“I wasn’t saying I wasn’t going to feed you,” the Dark Elf countered. “I agreed to this and now we’re both stuck with it. Don’t worry, you’ll get your fucking meal tonight.”

“You’ve got a lot of vitae, so I probably won’t need to take too much of your blood,” my best friend tried to assure her kindly. “I promise that I can make it hurt less too, I can even make it feel nice, if you don’t struggle.”

“We wouldn’t need her at all if my stupid skin wasn’t invulnerable and Ainslee could feed on me,” I heard my sister mutter under her breath. Was that jealousy? Did she feel bad that she couldn’t help Ainslee herself or did she just not like Karen that much.

I wasn’t the only one that heard her either. Ainslee put her hand on my sister’s and leaned close so that their shoulders were touching, a look of concern on her face. Across the table from the pair, Karen huffed, “I’m not trying to steal your fucking girlfriend, Whitey. I wouldn’t be spending time with any of you losers if I wasn’t being ordered to.”

My sister’s eyes narrowed, and a growl started to build up in her chest and she snarled, “Who are you calling losers? It was you and your buddy who got trounced by Lily and Ainslee.”

“She has a point there,” Poppy pointed out.

-This is going well,- Moonlight commented wryly.

“Please, Moonlight, just… don’t,” I sent back to my Unicorn companion wearily. “I’m tired and frustrated enough already, and now I have to deal with infighting. I really don’t need your running commentary unless it’s something helpful.”

-Apologies, my Maiden,- the Unicorn replied tiredly. -I too find myself frustrated with those training sessions.-

“He wasn’t my ‘buddy’, and I already told all of you that I didn’t think he was going to go as far as he did. I knew he was a selfish asshole, I didn’t know he was crazy too. I’m working with you, I’m cooperating, and I cut off all contact with the other assholes I was hanging out with, as ordered. What else do you fucking want from me?!” Karen snapped back at Kelly.

“You could be less of a bitch,” my sister shot back. “Ainslee is being nice to you, probably because she feels bad about what happened. I don’t know why since you blew a hole through her. My sister and Poppy are trying to be nice to you too so maybe you should…”

Yeah, I needed to cut this off before they really started going at it and someone said something really hurtful. “Enough, both of you. I know today has shown that we all have some issues that we need to deal with, but we should have each other’s backs rather than going for one another’s throats. Come on, we’re a team, now let’s at least try to act like it.”

Neither replied, but they both at least stopped snapping at each other as they returned to quietly eating their meals. The rest of dinner was quiet and tense until Karen picked up her now mostly empty tray. “Can I be dismissed now, Major?” she asked me pointedly. “I got stuff to do. Red can come find me when she wants her blood.”

I let out a long sigh, but replied, “Sure, Karen, you’re dismissed. Actually, Ainslee and I will probably catch up with you at your room soon so she can feed before we go home.”

“Fine, whatever.” With that she turned around to dispose of the tray and her dinner dishes and then left the mess hall.

The moment she was gone, I flitted up, so I was level with my sister’s face. “Kelly, I thought we were all going to try to give her a fair chance.”

“I…” my sister started to say before looking away. “I was, but she was being a bitch from the moment that we first met her, Sis. I didn’t like the way she was talking about all of us, and I guess I got a bit defensive. I’ve never met someone so prickly before, it’s like she’s going out of her way to be a bitch to all of us.”

“Yeah, she is, and I know how much that probably bothers you, Kelly, but did you ever think that maybe she’s going out of her way to be a bitch and push us all away for a reason?” I calmly countered.

“I said it was like she was doing that, not that she was. What kind of person would…” my sister began to reply before realization struck. “Wait... you know something, don’t you?”

“Not anything that I can share, but yes, I’ve read her file and it’s given me an appreciation for why she acts the way she does. Maybe someday she’ll trust us enough to tell us herself. Please, just trust me, Sis. Karen might not want friends, but she needs them, so try to give her some leeway and be nice. At the very least, try not to rise to her bait and realize that she’s like us, a girl who has lost a lot and endured a lot of shit no person should have to go through during her first Incursion,” I pleaded.

“She did freeze up as bad as you did during those first simulations, Kelly,” Poppy pointed out, and I silently thanked my girlfriend for the assist. “I think that she’s been through a lot.”

My sister let out a long breath in resignation. “I… you’re probably right. I’ll try to do as you asked, Lily.”

“Thanks, Sis. Now, I’m going to lead Ainslee to her room so she can feed, and I can have a little talk with Karen,” I told both my sister and girlfriend before promising, “We’ll be back soon.”

Ainslee had finished her dinner by this point, doing so while watching and listening to us all since Karen left. She nodded and stood up, looking a little bit nervous. “Yeah… umm… sounds good, Lily. Let’s go.”

I rode on my best friend’s shoulder, giving her directions along the way, so it didn’t take us long to get to the room where Karen was being held until we could move into the dorms at the university. Once we were outside her door, I turned towards Ainslee’s ear to ask. “Can you give us a couple of minutes? I’ll open the door when you’re good to come in and feed.”

“Sure, Lily,” she replied before adding, “when I feed on her, do you think you can stay in the room with us? I’m still kinda afraid that I might lose control, and I don’t want to hurt her.”

“Of course, Ainslee. I’m fine with that, and it’ll probably help Karen feel better having someone else there too,” I told her before taking off from her shoulder and mentally reached out with my comm crown to send the access code to the door. Once it had hissed open, I slipped inside and issued the command for it to close itself behind me and told the Dark Elf, “Ainslee is waiting outside for now.”

Karen was lying on her bed, staring up at the ceiling with her eyes slightly unfocused, and I assumed she was looking at something through her comm implant. Her eyes looked a bit moist, but I wasn’t about to mention that since I figured that I needed to tread carefully with her. She heard me at least, so she wasn’t involved in playing a game or watching a movie or something and a moment later her eyes focused again and turned toward me.

“You didn’t seem surprised when I froze up in the sim,” she said candidly, and I would have expected you to happily jolt me out of it with the way I’ve been treating you all. You didn’t. So, how much do you know?”

Yeah, I figured that she would probably put two and two together. I flitted toward her and took a seat on her bedside table before shrugging. “I’m your commanding officer, and I don’t know you like the others on our team, but they gave me a very extensive file on you. I know about your parents, that you wrongly blame yourself for their deaths, and that you push people away to keep them from getting too close. I also know that you’re not as bad as you want to make others believe. That donation to the orphanage when you sold your father’s business for instance.”

“Shit,” she cursed under her breath. “So, what’s your plan here then, going to reveal me to your friends?”

“I don’t plan to tell them anything. Your file is classified, and your past is none of their business until you feel comfortable telling them yourself. I wanted to talk to you as a friend in waiting, all cards on the table here. I know I’m probably not the first to tell you this, but you are not responsible for what happened to your parents. You need to start letting people in.”

“What the fuck do you know?!” Karen snapped back at me. “It’s my fault! We would have never been there if I hadn’t…” she trailed off as the words caught in her throat and her eyes became even more moist.

“I told myself almost the same thing,” I admitted. “I blamed myself for my sister and Mom being captured, kept telling myself that if I have been braver, I could have saved them. Did you know that an Incursion was going to hit that resort before going there? Did you know when?”

She didn’t answer in the brief silence that followed, so I answered for her. “No, you didn’t, because there was no way that you could have. If you want to blame somebody for your parents’ deaths. Then put the blame where it belongs, on the fucking Titans. Help me make them pay for what they’ve taken from you. From all of us. Let us be your friends and we can make them pay together.”

“I… can’t…” she began to protest.

“Why not? Because you’re afraid you’d lose us too? That’s why we stick together and watch each other’s backs, so that won’t happen. And if it does, if we lose somebody, then the rest of us have even more reason to stick together, to help each other through that loss. Teammates or friends, it’s the same difference, losing somebody is still going to hurt and you can’t keep yourself from caring forever. We’re going to be together for a while, day in and day out, we’ll grow on you.”

“Like a fungus,” Karen muttered.

“The very best fungus,” I shot back with a grin before turning serious again. “I’m just asking for you to give us a chance, and to give yourself one too. Give us all the time to build trust, you don’t need to let us inside your walls and share your secrets with us all right this minute, Karen, just let yourself step out of those walls, show us your real self, and get to know us too.”

“What if I don’t know who the real me is anymore?” she asked with a frown.

I tried to give her my best reassuring smile as I suggested, “Then maybe we can all find out who that is, together. I think you know yourself better than you think though, and I think you want to help others that are hurting like you or prevent them from hurting in the first place.”

“Fuck, you’re like a fucking children’s cartoon with your friendship shit and pep talks,” the Dark Elf grumbled.

“That’s totally a yes, isn’t it?” I pressed with a grin on my face.

The Dark Elf rolled her eyes. I wasn’t sure if I was getting through to her, but if she thought she could make me give up easily, then she would probably settle right back into her mopey, self-blaming habits and keep shutting us out instead of actually thinking about what I had been telling her. “You’re not gonna shut up until I say I’ll at least give it a try, are you?” she finally mumbled.

Yes! I was wearing her down! “No, no I am not,” I agreed.

“Fine, whatever, just get Red in here so she can feed, and I can get back to what I was doing,” she relented. At least, I think she was relenting.

I graciously did as she requested, shooting the door the security code it needed to open. Once it was, Ainslee peeked inside. “Are we… ready to do this then?”

“Sure, Red,” Karen told her with a sigh. “Let’s just get this over with and… try not to hurt me too much?”

Thankfully, the feeding went well, but then again, anything would have been better than the last time Ainslee fed on Karen. The Baobhan Sith tried to be extra gentle, didn’t lose control like she feared, and the amount of blood she took to feel full of vitae was barely enough to make Karen a little lightheaded. I even got Moonlight to appear to heal the fang wounds afterward.

We would have to think about stocking up on some Band-Aids for later since Moonlight and I probably wouldn’t be around for future feedings, but Ainslee promised to buy some before the next planned feeding on Saturday. Once we were done, we said our goodnights to Karen and let her get some rest and go back to what she had been doing before we showed up. Then we went back to the mess hall to meet with the others and go home. It had been a very long day after all.