I stared up at the ceiling, trembling and unable to sleep. I was not shaking because of the cold though, the still-glowing embers in the hearth kept me plenty warm. Probably far warmer than my younger brothers, who slept as far away from me as the room would allow. No, I was trembling in fear, my breathing heavy and ragged and my heart pounding in my chest like my father’s hammer on the anvil.

I could not sleep because I knew, and feared, what the morning would bring. Tomorrow was the Spring Equinox and everyone in the village of Tirrion knew what that meant. They called it the Choosing, perhaps wanting to soothe the mind of the Chosen, but everyone in the village also knew what it truly was behind the flowery words. It was a sacrifice.

Tomorrow, the Elder of Tirrion would announce which child would be sent into the great forest to the east to appease the Fae who lived there and ensure another year of peace. The entire village knew that it was a death sentence, that the Fae dealt swiftly and harshly with those who entered their forest uninvited, and that the Chosen were never heard from again, but what was one life compared to a village of six hundred? It was a tradition going back over two hundred years, since the end of the Great War, and none of the adults in the village wished to risk bringing the wrath of the Fae upon them. There were stories about the Fae, and none of them were good.

So, when the sun rose, the people of Tirrion would gather in the village square to hear who the elders had Chosen. Usually, the Chosen was a child who was sickly or infirm, someone who wouldn’t be likely to live to adulthood, or who may not be able to contribute as well as someone healthier. Sometimes, an older child would volunteer to lessen the burden on their family, but that only happened rarely.

This year, I was certain that I would be Chosen. I wasn’t sickly or weak, in fact, now that I had turned fourteen, I was starting to grow into a big strong man like my father, the town’s blacksmith. I shared his broad shoulders, dark hair and eyes, and my skin was starting to tan from helping in the forge. No, I feared that I would be Chosen because there was a strangeness to me that had made the people of the village uncomfortable since I was a small child.

Even my own family seemed uncomfortable in my presence. I was too strange, too effeminate in my behavior and mannerisms to be a normal boy. My brothers avoided me while my father hoped that working the forge with him would make a proper man of me. Sometimes, when he had too much to drink, he would try to beat the strangeness out of me.

As for my mother, she believed that I had been replaced by the Fae as an infant and that I was a Changeling. I had heard her secretive whispers to my father at night and could see the fear and scorn in her eyes every time she looked at me. She only cared for me as well as my brothers to avoid angering the Fae when they eventually came to claim me because, surely, I was not my father’s son.

I had never liked roughhousing with the other boys in the village or catching frogs in the creek, and I absolutely hated getting dirty. Just hearing my name sometimes made me cringe. Tharan was a name well suited for the strapping young man I was starting to become, but that name and the changes in my body recently made me sick to my stomach for some reason that I couldn’t quite figure out. The muscles, the hair on my body and face, and even my manhood made me feel like throwing up whenever I looked at them or focused too much on them.

I hated the fact that my body made me feel so uncomfortable and disgusting and I had no idea why. It just felt wrong to me, like I was a sword when I should have been forged as a dagger, I was too big, too hard, and my edges too sharp when I longed to be small and slender with graceful curves.

Oh, how I envied the girls in the village. They got to wear pretty dresses, it wasn’t frowned upon when they spent time with each other or their mothers or played with dolls, and they were so pretty, not like the big hideous hairy body and brutish face that I now possessed. I felt like a monster sometimes, perhaps it would be better if I was Chosen, a monster like me belonged in the forest with the other evils that I was told dwelled there. At least the elders would compensate my parents for the loss of a child.

Such dark thoughts dominated my mind as I struggled upon the path to slumber. I felt so alone in the village sometimes, like people couldn’t truly understand me and likely never would. Nobody did, at least, not since Nerum had left. It was a long time before I finally drifted off into a fitful sleep.

My hands were clammy, and my heart seemed about ready to burst from my chest as Elder Feras stood before the people of the village, a resigned silence hanging upon everyone as they awaited the name with bated breath. The elder raised his hands to the gathered people as the first rays of the sun washed over the village square and announced, “Our savior has been Chosen! This year we have been blessed with a volunteer! Nerum Potter, step forward!”

Nerum turned back and placed a finger upon my trembling lips to silence me before shaking his head sadly. “We were going to be separated today, no matter which of us they chose. It’s better this way, and perhaps we will meet again in our next lives. Remember me and think of me when the dawn blossoms bloom, flower of my heart.” Then, with one last sad smile, he turned away and left my side for the last time.

I awoke crying, my heart filled with both loss and fear of what was to come. Of course, I had dreamed of Nerum. There was not a night that I did not think of my friend over the past year and my life had been unbearably empty without him… no… her there to accept me, to love me... to call me the flower of her heart. Hopefully, she was right, and we would be reunited in our next lives.

For a time, I lay there in the darkness, my throat and chest tight with emotions that they couldn’t contain and great sobs wracking my trembling body as I hugged myself tightly. I was so afraid, and yet, I also just wanted this to be over, for my suffering to end. I hoped that my next life would be a happier one as I wiped away the tears and snot that my emotional outburst had produced.

By the time that the gathering bell rang out the first time, I had cried myself out and a sense of calm and resignation settled upon me. Was this how Nerum had felt that day? I took a deep breath as I stood up and got dressed, determined to face my end with the same calm dignity that my friend had.

I was hardly aware of walking to the village square with my family, the sun rising, or the gathered crowd. I was numb to it all, and barely reacted when my name was called, except to join Elder Feras on the podium in the center of the square. As he thanked me for the sacrifice that I was making to keep the village safe with empty, flowery words, I only half listened. The morning feast that was prepared to send me off tasted like ash in my mouth.

Despite this sendoff, to make me believe that I would be missed, I knew that was not the case. My own family barely spared me a glance, and nobody spoke to me except for the ritual well-wishes. Just like last year, this was a celebration. They were all glad to be rid of the cursed boy, the girl trapped in a boy’s body.

That was a realization that I came to during my morning musings while mourning my fate and the friend who had suffered the same. It was almost funny that I only realized it now that my life was coming to an end. I wasn’t cursed, or a changeling, or even a boy who secretly wanted to be a girl. I was a girl, just like Nerum was, we just happened to have been born in the wrong bodies. I would have laughed at the timing of it, had it not felt like my heart was being torn from my chest.

It was midmorning by the time the procession escorting me to the great forest finally passed through the farmlands around the village to reach our destination. Much like the feast and the word Chosen, it was supposed to make me feel special, as if I was performing some great deed for the village. I didn’t feel special, I felt as awkward as usual around the people escorting me, with an added helping of fear, now that the moment of my death would soon be upon me.

I saw the procession for what it truly was, people making sure that I would actually enter the forest to meet my doom and didn’t harbor any thoughts of running away once nobody was looking. My sacrifice would keep the terrible creatures that dwelled in the forest from killing them all as they slept, they were saving their own skins. Even as my family bade me good fortune at the forest edge, I could hear nothing in the tone of their voices but relief.

Determined to face this with what dignity I could, I didn’t look back as I stepped into the trees. There were no paths to be seen, but it was not as dark under the canopy of trees as I feared it would be. It was beautiful in a way as occasional sunbeams broke through to bathe the ground below in warmth and light. There was a sense of peace among the lush vegetation and towering trees as birdsong and the sounds of animals announced my presence.

“And so, the Pact is renewed with Tirrion Village for another year. Welcome, child, we have been waiting for you,” an airy, feminine voice spoke from among the trees ahead. It was an eerily beautiful, musical voice, each word like the gently strummed string of a harp.

Despite the beauty of that voice and its friendly tone, I found myself frozen as my eyes rapidly scanned the trees ahead and my heart raced. That could only be one of the Fae. Was I to meet my death so soon?

A deeper, gruff voice sounded almost concerned as he pointed out, “Look at the poor child, he’s terrified.”

I thought I was ready for this, ready to die in this place, but now that the moment had come my legs grew weak, I fell to my knees, and I couldn’t stop shaking. My eyes went wide with terror as a pair of figures stepped out from the shadows of a large nearby oak and approached me. Both of the Fae were beautiful in an inhuman and ethereal way.

The man was larger than my father, muscular with a barrel chest and golden skin. He had the torso and arms of a human but below that were a pair of goatlike legs ending in hooves and covered in luxurious chestnut brown fur. His face was handsome, with a thick beard that matched the fur on his legs and hair on his head and it wore a gentle expression that reached his deep green eyes.

His ears were pointed and longer than those of a human, and a pair of large ram-like horns grew from his temples and swept back over his head and around his ears. Those horns looked like they were made of golden crystal and refracted the light of the sunbeam he strode through in a halo of golden light. That would have taken my breath away, had I not already been struggling to breathe from terror and panic at my imminent demise.

The woman was pale, slender, and more beautiful than I had words to express. Her hair was as flawlessly white as her unblemished skin and her face a work of art that stirred an immediate pang of jealousy in me that broke even through my terror. Her long hair was braided in an elaborate style and tied with thin vines, and it seemed to glow with a light all its own in the shadows of the trees. Other than the glowing hair, and ears as long and pointed as the man’s, she looked surprisingly human, save for the pale blue swirling patterns that covered her exposed skin and glowed with a blue light that matched her slit-pupiled eyes.

The man wore only a loincloth of dark blue silken cloth, while the woman bore a pretty sleeveless dress with a knee-length hem that was made from a similar material but dyed a lighter blue. I stared up at the otherworldly pair in a confused state of fear and awe until they were almost upon me, then I found myself begging, “P-please, kill me quickly.”

To my great surprise, the pair recoiled at my words. “Kill you? What are the humans teaching their children these days?” the man spat bitterly. “We only kill those who enter our home uninvited, as the Pact decrees. You are here to seal the Pact for another year, so you are invited. Saphira and I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival since we won the rights to you.”

“Dalamar, please. This child is terrified, and probably confused enough already,” the woman said in her musical voice before turning to give me a reassuring smile. “Worry not, child, we will not harm you in any way, quite the opposite, in fact. Do you think you can walk? Or shall we have Dalamar carry you? We shall attempt to explain things as we make our way to the Grove.”

Wait, I wasn’t going to die? What was going on here? It was as those questions were speeding through my mind that the man, Dalamar, picked me up in his arms as if I were a small child. I could feel the great strength in his muscles, but he was extremely gentle as he picked me up and held me against his powerful chest.

As we made our way through the woods toward our destination, they explained the Pact. Two hundred years ago, the Great War had nearly led to the extinction of both humans and the Fae. The humans had far greater numbers and were confident in their conquest, but the Fae were gifted with magic and could bring all of the forces of nature to bear upon their enemies. It was a long and bitter war and there were no winners at the end, only two species brought to the brink of annihilation.

And so, the Pact was forged. Both sides agreed to never venture into the other’s territory again without invitation, upon penalty of death to whoever should try. To seal this deal, an arrangement was made between the Fae Groves and the human territories that they bordered.

While the humans, who lived short lives but bore many children would be able to regain their losses over time, the Fae were immortal and had great difficulty conceiving children of their own. One of these two outcomes was likely to reignite the war and bring one of the species to extinction, either the humans would grow to far outnumber the dwindling Fae or the Fae would eradicate the humans to keep that from coming to pass. So, a compromise was made, one that would renew the Pact every year.

The deal was that human territories would each surrender one of their children to the nearest Fae Grove to be adopted by Fae parents who longed for children of their own. The humans of those territories would choose the child and in the beginning, they chose children who were sickly or wounded during the war so that the Fae could make them healthy and whole with their magic. It gave those children an opportunity to live full lives and lessened the strain on their families.

We were nearly at our destination when I felt calm enough to walk on my own again, so I was able to walk into this Grove on my own two feet instead of being carried like some terrified child. I wasn’t going to die, so that was good, and from what Dalamar and Saphira had told me, they had won the right to adopt me. I would never see the village of my birth again though, because once I was adopted, I would be considered Fae, and the Pact would apply.

The Grove was not much different from the forest that surrounded it at first glance, but my guides pointed out homes in the treetops and doorways within the occasional hillside or the trunks of the massive trees that grew there. As we walked, I saw a group of Fae boys roughhousing and some girls who appeared to be playing with wooden dolls. One girl with green skin and vines for hair, who looked like she would be roughly thirteen or fourteen if she was human, appeared to be learning some form of nature magic from her mother and stopped to stare at me for a moment before returning her attention to her lesson.

All of them wore similar clothes to Dalamar and Saphira, and the pair explained that the garments were made from the silk of spiders that some of their people raised and that they raised woolly goats as well to have milk, the occasional meat, and wool for the winter months. They mostly survived on what the forest provided though, while trying not to disrupt the balance of nature.

It wasn’t until the pair led me through a doorway obscured by hanging vines and into a hollow tree that the strangeness of this situation truly hit me. The walls and floor inside were so smooth, as if the entire interior of the tree had been reshaped with magic. Shelves bearing clay pots of various shapes and sizes seemingly grew from the walls themselves, a low table for eating was grown from the floor, and that table itself was surrounded by three cushions of silky cloth. Except for the lack of a hearth, it wasn’t too much different than the home I grew up in, and it seemed somehow warmer and more cozy.

Dalamar directed me to the three archways in the walls and told me, “The one on the right leads to our sleeping chamber, the middle one is a lavatory, and the one on the left will be your room.”

“We have been trying to prepare for your arrival, but clothes and personal touches had to wait until we know what you’ll turn out like,” Saphira added as she led me to the doorway in question. The room was mostly bare, save for a hammock in one corner formed from thick leafy vines that grew from the walls.

They had prepared for me, they wanted me. Unfortunately, I couldn’t help but think that that would change once they knew that I wasn’t the boy I appeared to be. “W-why?” I asked suddenly, speaking for the first time since I had asked them to make my death quick. “Why adopt human children? I saw plenty of Fae kids out there. Why me? You don’t even know my name, or who I am.”

Dalamar gave his wife a knowing glance and let out a brief sigh before saying, “I will allow you to explain, my love, while I go to see Yusene about the brew.”

Saphira nodded to her husband and as he left the room, she led me to the hammock by the hand and had me sit down. Then, while clasping my hand in both of hers, she looked me in the eyes and told me, “As I told you before, Fae cannot bear children easily or often. Dalamar and I have been handfasted for over seventy years and trying for children that whole time. When we won the right to one of the three children that the Grove will receive this year, my dream finally came true. Those children that you saw outside were once like you, adoptees. I too was an adoptee, one of the very first in fact, almost two hundred years ago. I was injured when my home caved in, an orphan who lost the use of my arms and legs. To this day, my adoptive parents still dote on me, as Dalamar and I plan to dote on you.”

That didn’t make any sense. I stared at her for several long minutes, trying to see her as anything but the Fae who was grasping my hands and looking hopefully into my eyes. “B-but you’re not… how…” I sputtered. There was no way that this magnificent beauty was human.

“No,” she agreed with my unspoken statement, “I am not human, not anymore at least. There is a potion that Dalamar and I will each add a few drops of our blood to. If you choose to drink it, you will sleep for several days and when you awake, you will be reborn as a Fae, as if you were our true child.”

This was impossible. Even if it was possible, I feared that I would be just as uncomfortable in my skin as a male Fae as I was as a male human. I was resigned to death, but now they were telling me that I was going to live and become one of the creatures that I had been raised to fear and distrust? They didn’t seem like anything I was expecting though, they seemed so gentle and eager to have a child… to have me as their child. I was so confused, so many thoughts and fears assailing my mind.

As I was trying to process all of this, a tentative tapping brought our attention to the doorway in the room beyond. “Yes, who is it?” Saphira called out.

A green-skinned Fae girl with pointed ears and leafy vines for hair stepped inside the tree and said, “Sorry for interrupting, but I… uhh… wanted to greet the new…” It was the girl I had seen earlier. She looked about thirteen or fourteen, a girl just starting to blossom into womanhood. The green skin and vines gave her an inhuman look, but she was very pretty and seemed nervous as she looked at me, her hands clasped behind her back.

“Oh, good afternoon, Xinaria. I was just explaining things to… him.” It was at that point that Saphira seemed to realize that they hadn’t gotten my name yet. I didn’t supply it though, my heart clenching at the very thought of having these people call me by a name that I hated. It was bad enough having them call me he and him, the pronouns feeling like a knife to my heart each time they were spoken aloud. Seeing my reluctance, the pale Fae told me, “You will need a new name when you are reborn anyway. This is Xinaria, she was one of our adoptees last year.”

The green-skinned girl nodded as she pulled something from behind her back and entered the bedroom to offer it. It was a bright golden flower, a dawn blossom. I stood up to take it, half in shock and half to be polite. Then, as I stared at the familiar flower that had been Nerum’s favorite, Xinaria took a deep breath and gave me a shaky smile. “For you, flower of my heart. I told you we would meet again in our next lives, I just… didn’t expect it to be so soon.”

My eyes went wide, and I nearly dropped the flower as her words hit me, and a painful longing filled my heart for Nerum, the person I had loved as a friend and possibly more. Those words she just spoke, and she was one of last year’s Chosen, but it couldn’t be. This couldn’t be her, this looked nothing like the boy I remembered, she looked younger, and she was very obviously a girl. ”No… you can’t be… Ner…”

She placed a finger upon my trembling lips to silence me, just like that day a year ago, and shook her head. “Not anymore, I’m Xinaria now, and I’m happy this way. The potion will make you Fae, but my mother told me that the rebirth changes our bodies to not only reflect our Fae parents, but our souls… who we are inside. I know you better than anyone, flower of my heart, and you will make a beautiful girl. I know it.”

This was too much. My knees became weak and fell to the floor to hug Xinaria tightly about her waist as I let loose a year’s worth of tears. I didn’t want to let go. She wasn’t dead, I wasn’t dead, and I could be… That hope was crushed by self-doubt. What if I wasn’t really a girl inside? What if I truly was just a boy who needed to learn to be a man, as my father had told me countless times?

Two sets of arms wrapped around me as I wept on the floor clutching desperately at Xinaria, afraid that she might not be real, that she might disappear again, and most frightening of all, that I might not really be the girl that both of us thought I was. After a few minutes, a third, much larger, set of arms engulfed the three of us as Dalamar returned and made his presence known. He didn’t ask what happened or why I was upset, he just added his care and support to the others.

Finally, once I had no tears left to shed, they released me and Xinaria glanced awkwardly between me and the other two Fae in the room before awkwardly excusing herself. “I should… ummm… go and let you get to know one another and prepare for… I need to get back to my mother. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you, flower of my heart. I look forward to seeing the new you once you’ve been reborn.”

With that, the green-hued Fae gave me one last hug before leaving me alone with Dalamar and Saphira. As the afternoon passed and we talked over a late lunch, the two Fae tried to answer as many of my questions as they could, and I got to know more about them than I ever knew about the parents who had raised me until then. They didn’t shy away from the personal details either, and I discovered that the Fae are very open about a great many things, even with their children.

As for learning about me, they didn’t ask me anything, not even my name. In their eyes, I was still a child. Who I was until that moment was not as important as who I would become, and that would come with time, learning, and a lot of patience and love on their part. I was free to become who and what I wanted to be, so long as I learned and respected their ways. That was a freedom that I had never experienced before and was greatly looking forward to.

I awoke feeling so weary and weak that it was a struggle to even open my eyes. Later, I would find out that I had been unconscious for five days while going through my rebirth and that Saphira, my mother, and Dalamar, my father, had not left my side for that entire time, save very brief breaks to relieve themselves or get something to eat. Even as I groaned and tried to move, my mother’s musical voice whispered barely audibly in my ear, “Suria vos bellisaitural ohm nassidae.”

The words were in the Fae language, so at the time I didn’t understand. Understanding or no, even in my half-awake state, I felt those words settling upon me like a weight that would not be denied. There was this strong connection to those words that I couldn’t define, as if they were part of me. No, they were me.

“I… I don’t understand,” I croaked out, my voice near absent from disuse. Even as raspy as it was, it was very clear to me that my voice sounded different now.

“You will learn, just as I did. We will teach you everything you need to know about being Fae, we have plenty of time. That was your True Name, my daughter,” my mother spoke lovingly as I felt a hand caress my cheek, “the first words spoken to a Fae child by their mother, a bond and a secret between just us two. Remember that names hold power over their bearers, and True Names more than most, do not share yours with anyone. We shall call you Narisse, it is a lovely name for such a lovely girl.”

“Aye,” my father agreed with a smile as I opened my eyes to look at them, “in fifty or sixty years, when you’re an adult, you will be turning as many heads as your mother. Enough of that though, you are going to be feeling very weak for a few days, but you need to eat and might want to bathe after so long abed. You might have trouble walking at first, but if you do not feel up to walking to the bathing pool, I will carry you there. You should clean up before the celebration tonight to welcome you and the two other new children into the troupe.”

“Hush, dear,” my mother chided playfully. “You are not required to go if you feel too weak, Narisse. Your father just wishes to show off his new daughter.”

It was then that it hit me, and I was suddenly very awake. They were calling me ‘she’ and their daughter. “I… I need to see myself,” I stammered desperately. Actually listening to my voice this time, I could sense that, even with its current raspy quality, it was likely as light, airy, and musical as my new mother’s.

“Xinaria thought that you might feel that way when she came to look in on you last,” my mother said with a warm smile. “Dalamar bring the mirror over while I help the poor girl to her feet.”

He quickly complied, pulling a large length of polished metal toward my hammock as my mother pulled the blankets covering me aside, wrapped her arms around me, and pulled me into a sitting position and then to my feet. If she hadn’t been holding me steady, and my father hadn’t reached out to brace me by my other arm, I would have fallen flat on my face. Having hooves rather than feet was going to take some getting used to.

They were different than my father’s hooves, more graceful and resembling a deer’s more than a goat’s. From there upward, save for the soft white fur that gave way to equally white skin just below my knees, my legs were very human-looking, though a little long and slender. Most of my body looked human and since I was naked at the moment, there was no mistaking it for the body of a boy. This was a girl through and through, slender and graceful-looking, though perhaps a little younger than Xinaria, and just starting to develop the curves of womanhood.

My elfin face greatly resembled my mother’s, and I had the same pointed ears, long white hair, and slit-pupiled blue eyes, though my body lacked the glowing blue swirling patterns that covered her skin. Jutting out just above my hairline was a pair of small, blue, crystalline antlers that shone with a light all their own. Just looking at my face and body, even the non-human parts, infused me with warmth, with a sense of rightness that I had never felt before. This was me, and for the first time in my life, I felt comfortable in my own skin.

I couldn’t help it, joyful tears poured from my eyes as I drank in the sight reflected in the polished metal. “I… I’m beautiful.”

“Well, you are your mother’s daughter,” my father said as I saw his reflection gazing at the both of us with love and pride. “Now, let’s get you to the bathing pool so Saphira can get you cleaned up before the celebration. The mirror will still be there later.”

My parents were right, I felt very weak still and needed my mother’s help to get cleaned up. Once we had gotten me properly clean, and my hair brushed out and braided like Mom’s was, she helped me into some small clothes and a dress that she had made for me when my changes were nearly complete. They were the only clothes that I had for the moment, but both my parents assured me that I would be getting more soon.

After that, Daddy (who was very happy with being called that until I could learn the proper Fae words for things) carried me to the clearing, where a large fire was already burning with many Fae around it enjoying food and drink. I did try to walk on my own, but I was too tired to stand at the moment, let alone try walking with my delicate new hooves rather than feet.

Daddy placed me on a soft moss-covered log with Mom quickly sitting beside me so I could lean on her shoulder for support and then he ran off to get us both something to eat and drink. He very much doted on both me and my mother, something that I would grow used to and even enjoy in the days to come. During that first night among my new people, I was introduced to so many new faces, including both sets of grandparents and Xinaria’s parents when she came to nearly crush me in an embrace and gush about how she knew I would make a beautiful girl.

I was too tired and weak to do much more than talk with people, and a lot of that evening was spent with my new family and Xinaria’s as the pair of us reconnected. Honestly, not much had changed between us except that we were both happy now and comfortable with who and what we were. She still watched out for me and called me the flower of her heart, and I still turned bright red and my heart quickened every time she did.

We had both expected death when we were Chosen but found a fresh start. Now I had Xinaria, a body I loved, a family that loved me, and best of all, I was happy for what was probably the first time in my life. I still had a lot to figure out about myself but I had a long time to do that and people who would support me and love me. Now I couldn’t wait to see where my new life would take me.