Kobayashi Mary Lou

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Kobayashi Mary Lou

"Space: the final frontier. These are the voyages of the star-ship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: …"

The Enterprise computer automatically signaled Red Alert when more than one hundred unidentified ships materialized ‘from nowhere’, partly surrounding the Enterprise.

Captain Kirk, who was on the Bridge ordered: “On screen. Mister Spock. Analysis please. Lieutenant Uhuru, open hailing frequencies and standard greetings.

Meanwhile, the view screen was squawking random seeming grunts, growls and other noises, with more and more words gradually coming through.

Spock: “Captain, even one of their ships over-matches us, and can outrun us.”

By now, the screen was mostly coherent: ...laws very clear. You have trespassed into our space, and the penalty is that every man on your vessel must be put to death… {repeat} …”

Mr. Spock: (whispering, inaudible.)

Kirk, to Spock: “Work that out with McCoy and the Transporter Chief. Help them as needed. Use all the computer you need.

Captain Kirk (to aliens): “And what of the women and children?”

“They will be returned unharmed to warn your kind against further trespass.”

Kirk: "We use a time unit called a second, about this long *clap pause clap*. May we have approximately 80,000 of these to get our affairs in order?”

“Granted. Any hostile actions, and we will vaporize your ship.”

(Later)

Being the Captain he is, Kirk was first to step on transporter Pad A.

Sparkles later, Captain Jamie Cressida Kirk stepped from transporter pad B.

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Comments

Funny

even if predictable.

Cowardice?

Daphne Xu's picture

Or the beginnings of a careful plan that suddenly came to mind? Or are all men going to enter the transformporter?

Nice place to end this on.

-- Daphne Xu (a page of contents)

just like Kobayashi Maru...

Kirk found a way to cheat.

Because if you aren't cheating, your tactics suck.

Surviving Comes First

joannebarbarella's picture

You can't make new plans when you're dead. Way to go, Jamie! Nearly a day's grace to solve the problem.

When our resident specialist in un-predictable ...

... calls me predictable - :O ... Bru, we should ask you about Lottery numbers ...
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What Mr. Spock had whispered to Kirk, was "change all the guys". Then Spock, Dr McCoy and Transporter Chief O'Brien 'jiggered' the transporter to change all the men to women, thus exempting them from the Alien Death Sentence.

Based on a comment here, I hereby rename the jiggered transporter the "TransFemmePorter" ...
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This time, Kirk only OK-ed the cheat. Spock had the idea for the cheat, and with McCoy and O'Brien, implemented the cheat.

Maybe it's only because I work on warped speed

(the "speed" I'm using to get my kicks is heavy tomes (sometimes more than a kilo) about Tokugawa Japan, Settlement era Shanghai and LDK Lithuania, can you get more warped than that?) that the first thought that struck me when I read "every man on your vessel" was the solution Spock had already thought of.

Cheating? Cheating implies that there are rules being broken. I don't see any rules here.

Sorry about the lottery. The magic cloaking those numbers is just too powerful.

Small correction

Nice little story, but I'd like to point out that O'Brien is from The Next Generation, not The Original Series.

Oh, dang!

And I actually did =research= ...

And I read it wrong ... Sniff!

Thanks!
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Edited to remover Transporter Chief's name.

Yes!

Andrea Lena's picture

And here's the Transporter Chief in question.

photo (1)_43.jpg
Lieutenant Kyle

In the series, Lt. Kyle was never given a first name. But since the name Kyle is notable for its Scottish roots, let's just call her Heather.

  

To be alive is to be vulnerable. Madeleine L'Engle
Love, Andrea Lena

now the question is

will Kirk stay a girl when she gets back home?

DogSig.png

Kirk probably won't.

Sulu might.

Spock will do it when it is convenient.

Or maybe not. She may find that avoiding pon farr is a logical thing to do.

Kobayashi Mary Lou

I would be tempted to say it could be subtitled where no man has gone before but it's not the first time Kirk has been female even if you stick to canon. He was body swapped once on TOS and in the star trek log series he and his crew ran across a planet where everyone who landed has there DNA swapped except for Spock he got an extra Y chromosome. I was curious because at first I wondered if they had crashed a massive drag party and were invited to participate.

Time is the longest distance to your destination.