I was very distracted that evening, my mind constantly going back and forth over whether I should tell Kelly what I had learned from Vice-Commander Carpenter. On the one hand, this discovery could break her. The dreams upset her enough as it was, but knowing that her dreams were, in fact, very real memories and that those horrible things had actually happened to her could be too much for Kelly to handle.

On the other hand, she deserved to know the truth. I knew that if it was me and I woke up screaming in the middle of the night from nightmarish memories that I couldn’t be sure were real or imagined, I would want to know the truth just for my own peace of mind. As much as I wanted to protect Kelly from that horrible truth, I feared that keeping this from her might do her more damage than good in the long run.

Did I even have the right to keep this from her? Especially since I knew in my heart that she had a right to the truth. If I kept this from her and she found out later, it would be a breach of trust. I knew that I was one of the few things anchoring her to some sort of stability right now and a betrayal like that, even if I thought it was for her own good, might just shatter everything we had been working toward in terms of Kelly’s recovery.

It felt like a no-win situation to me, no matter how much thought I put into it. By the time that Poppy and I went into our little home to go to bed for the night, I was still going back and forth about it in my mind, and I had trouble falling asleep. I guess I wasn’t the only one still awake because Poppy turned around in my embrace to look at me and caress my cheek lovingly.

Concern weighed heavily in those beautiful orange eyes as she gazed at me. “You’ve been quiet tonight, Love, lost in thought. What’s wrong? It has something to do with that call you got earlier tonight, doesn’t it?”

I sighed and nodded, though I didn’t say anything at first. If I did tell Kelly about all of this, I wanted her to be the first I told and not gossip about it behind her back first. I decided to be vague about it because I really did want someone else’s opinion on it, and I valued what my girlfriend might have to say. “Let’s say that, hypothetically, I got some information tonight that could either really hurt someone I care about or help them to come to terms with something they’ve been struggling with after some pain. Whether I tell them or keep it to myself for now, there is a good chance that they could be hurt.”

Poppy looked pensive as she considered my words, and I had a feeling that she knew exactly who I was talking about. She wrapped her arm around me and soothingly stroked my wing as she hummed in thought. Finally, she said, “If I were Ke… this hypothetical person, I think I would want to know, Love. No matter the answer, it would be better than always wondering and, even if it hurts, I know you would do your best to help me through that pain because you care, and this decision is obviously tearing you up inside.”

“I just… don’t want to see her hurting,” I admitted sadly.

“She’s already hurting, Love,” Poppy replied gently as she leaned toward me to lovingly kiss my cheek. “Hypothetically, I mean. Maybe this isn’t your decision to make though. Maybe you should talk about this with her and let her make the decision about whether she wants to know what you do.”

I let out a long sigh, but I knew that she was right. It was unfair of me to think that I should make this decision for her. It was her life, her memories, and her trauma, and Kelly had the right to decide on her own if she wanted to know the truth. I returned the kiss, but on her lips rather than her cheek, savoring the taste of her and the soft warmth of her lips against mine. When I finally let out lips part, I nodded.

“You’re right, Poppy, this has to be her choice,” I reluctantly agreed. “No matter which choice I make otherwise, I’m making the choice for her. Her life, her decision. This is too big, too potentially hurtful and life-changing for me to take that choice out of her hands. Thanks for talking some sense into me. I’ll talk to her privately tomorrow.”

She smiled tenderly at me as her hand moved from my wing to once again lovingly caress my cheek. “I just helped you come to the decision a little faster, Love. I know you would have figured it out on your own, you care about her too much to make a decision for her, especially one she might regret.”

Another sigh escaped me. “You already have a pretty good idea who and what I’m talking about, don’t you?”

“Who, yes. As for what, I only have suspicions, and I could be wrong. I can wait to know for sure until after you’ve talked to her. If this is about what I think it is, she deserves to be the first to know.” With that said, Poppy snuggled close into my embrace and said, “Try to get some sleep now, Love. I know you didn’t sleep much last night, and you’re no good to anyone if you’re too tired to think straight.”

I found myself giggling at that, feeling much better now that she had helped me come to a decision. “I’m a girl who is sleeping with another girl. I’m pretty sure I’ll never think ‘straight’ again.”

A slight shaking against my chest heralded her own fit of giggles. It was a moment before she managed to reply, “True, Love. I’m afraid we’re both hopelessly gay, though I guess that’s to be expected since Sprites only have one gender. Not that I’m complaining, there is nobody I would rather share my bed and life with than you.”

“Actually, this is my bed, so technically, I’m sharing with it with you,” I teased.

She turned her head up to give me a serious look. “Love, either go to sleep and get some proper rest or make that sassy tongue of yours useful.” I chose to do the latter and she let out a squeal as I shifted our positions and dove between her legs to make my tongue useful. It was quite a while before either of us got to sleep.

We woke up to the alarm I set on my comm crown and Poppy and I hurried through our morning routine, sharing the shower and helping one another to get clean by washing each other’s backs and wings. Unfortunately, it was all innocent, at least mostly, since we had to have breakfast and get to Vanguard Tower for our morning training sessions. And since I wanted to have a private talk with my sister before we left, that meant we were in a bit of a rush and had no time to enjoy one another’s bodies as much as we would have liked.

We all had breakfast as a family this morning since Aunt Maya’s assistant manager would be opening the store today and she and Sammie didn’t need to get to the shop until lunchtime. Thankfully, Kelly didn’t have any nightmares last night and her good mood from yesterday’s time with Moonlight seemed to be carrying over to today as we ate and chatted with Poppy, Ainslee, Aunt Maya, and the twins. Unfortunately, this made me very reluctant to have a conversation with my sister that might just send her into a downward spiral.

All through breakfast, I found myself gripped with indecision. Should I tell her today, or put it off? Which would hurt her less? No, I couldn’t keep thinking like this. Poppy was right, and I knew that this had to be Kelly’s decision.

-What is wrong, my Maiden? Your emotions are very chaotic, and you have been distracted since last night,- Moonlight’s mental voice asked in concern.

“I need to have a serious talk with my sister,” I replied. “It’s about her nightmares. She’s in such a good mood right now though, so I’m worried that this a bad time to bring it up. What I need to tell her is guaranteed to upset her.”

-Is there truly a good time to talk about such serious matters, Lily? If you keep looking for ‘the right time’ you are likely to just keep putting it off indefinitely,- the Unicorn advised gently.

She was right. There was never going to be a good time to bring this up and I would just keep making excuses and putting it off if I kept thinking that way. I had already made the decision to talk to her about this because she deserved to have the choice, and delaying things would just be taking that choice away from her as much as if I made the decision for her.

“Thanks, Moonlight,” I told her, wrapping her in a mental hug. Kelly had finished her breakfast, and I had been so distracted by my thoughts that I hadn’t even noticed that I had finished mine as well. Taking a deep breath to steady myself, I got out of my chair and flitted toward my sister. “Hey, Kelly… I… before we go to the tower, I need to talk to you about something, privately.”

My sister’s smile faded, and her brow furrowed at my words. I wasn’t sure if it was because of my tone and faltering words, the expression on my face, or because whenever somebody says, “I need to talk to you,” it’s generally not a good thing. Whichever it was, she suddenly looked uncertain and vulnerable. Fuck, how I hated seeing her like that.

Still, my sister said, “Sure, Sis,” and led the way to her bedroom so we could have some privacy. Once we were both inside, with the door closed behind us, she sat on the bed and asked, “So, what did you need to talk to me about?”

Fuck. How did I bring this up? How could I give her the choice and not make her freak out from the start? Finally, I decided to just come right out with it. “I got a call from Vice-Commander Carpenter last night. She had some information that is relevant to you… and the nightmares you’ve been having. This could answer a lot of the questions in your mind, but it probably isn’t the answer that you’ll want to hear. It’s your choice. If you want to know, I’ll tell you. If you decide you’d rather wait, my lips will remain sealed to you and anyone else until you’re ready.”

I had a feeling that if she hadn’t already been sitting, Kelly would have collapsed then and there. She already knew or at least had a strong suspicion. Her voice was barely audible, and all the color had drained from her face as she said in a hushed tone, “Oh my God. The nightmares… they’re real, aren’t they? They’re real memories. I… I didn’t want to believe it, but there is no way my imagination is that good and you wouldn’t be telling me this if...”

“Yeah,” I replied, the horrified look on her face as her words trailed off and tears started to stream down her cheeks threatening to make my heart burst with pain and anguish for my sister. “You’re the third person who came back from beyond the Breach to tell someone about your dreams. There are a lot of similarities in all three accounts, too many to be coincidence.”

Tears were streaming down Kelly’s face, and her breaths were coming in staggered gasps as her fists slammed down onto the bed and a choked scream erupted from her throat. “WHY?!”

I shouldn’t have told her. I should have tried to spare her this pain. “I… I’m sorry, Sis. I… wanted to give you the choice, I thought you deserved to know. Vice-Commander Carpenter thinks that your memories could tell us things about the Titans, she wants us to tell her if you remember anything else. It could give us an edge…”

Kelly continued to pound her fists on the bed in anguish and fury as she screamed out in a strangled voice, “Not you! Them! Why us?! Why are they doing this to us?! What did we ever do to them to deserve this?! I… I just wanted to protect you…”

I tried to hug her as best I could as she continued to scream and cry out her rage and pain. “I don’t know, Sis. If there is a reason, it could never be good enough for the pain they’ve caused you. We’re going to find out though. We’re going to find out what their game is, who they are, why they’re doing this… we’re going to find out everything we can, and then we’re going to rescue Mom and make those alien fuckers pay for what they’ve done to you. I promise.”

I held her as she cried out all the pain that she had been holding in since waking up in the desert months ago and called on the others to come in and comfort her as well. Kelly needed her family right now, all of us. We were all there, holding her and wiping away her tears, but this was something she needed to get through on her own, we could only share her pain and console her as best we could.

We were all going to be late for our morning training sessions, maybe miss them altogether, but I decided that I didn’t give a fuck. I would take the heat for all of us. My sister needed us right now, and there was nothing in this world more important than that.