I awoke to the sound of Kelly’s alarm clock, and as my sister leaned over to turn it off, I attempted to fight off the morning bleariness and force myself to wake up properly. I just wanted to sink into the pillow that I was lying on and get just a few more hours, but we all had training at Vanguard tower with our respective instructors. Unfortunately for me, there was no getting out of that, especially since I was our ride.

I did not get much sleep after I was awoken in the middle of the night by my sister screaming. Kelly was a complete mess when I found her, shaking, curled up in the fetal position, and sobbing uncontrollably, but she wouldn’t tell me what happened. Or rather, she was too upset to tell me anything. Unfortunately, it was some time before she had calmed down enough to even tell me that the cause was the nightmares again.

That wasn’t exactly a shock, since I knew she had been having nightmares since she was first brought to the hospital from Egypt. Even after Kelly managed to finally get back to sleep, I had trouble doing the same. I just couldn't stop worrying about Kelly and thinking about what horrors she had encountered in her dreams that could have put her in a state like that.

The worst part was that I couldn’t do anything to help her, save for being there and trying to comfort her when something like this happened. Moonlight talked with me while I watched over my sister and tried to convince me that I was doing everything I could, but I still felt like I could be doing more. Whatever trauma my sister had from when she was on the other side of the Breach probably wasn’t something that I could possibly understand, but I wanted to, for her sake. I wanted her to be able to tell me what terrified her so much in those nightmares so I could help her to get through this.

It wasn’t just the nightmares, or that she couldn’t seem to bring herself to tell me what they consisted of, other than the fact that she wasn’t sure whether they were memories or just her own subconscious torturing her. No, the nightmares were just the tip of the iceberg. I had been worried for her for much of the day yesterday, even before she woke me with her screams in the middle of the night.

She had been quiet and reserved since we were released from the hospital, though there were times when I caught glimpses of the old Kelly since we had moved in with Aunt Maya’s family. For those brief moments, it was almost like it was back when we were all growing up together and Kelly and I would hang out with Aiden and the twins. Those moments passed far too quickly though before she became serious, despondent, or quiet and distant.

Yesterday had been particularly worrisome, starting with how badly things went with Karen at lunch. I knew that Kelly tried to give her a chance and welcome her to a team but when Karen started playing the bitch to push us all away, my sister fell right into her trap. The old Kelly was patient, caring, and confident, and I thought she probably would have brushed Karen’s barbs aside and kept trying to make nice.

Then there was the training with Sergeant Vale. Once simulation after another, I watched her freeze up in terror whenever a Titan got too close. This was such a stark difference from the young woman who practically dragged me to the barn and told me to hide while she tried to distract the Titans and draw them away from me.

I probably should have expected her to have issues facing them with everything she had been through, but it shook me to see her frozen in terror, even though I knew she couldn’t realistically get hurt. It didn’t help that she wasn’t the only one with some sort of Incursion-related issues or trauma to work through. We were all in rough shape emotionally and mentally once the training was over for the day and having to shock Karen so many times probably hadn’t helped my mood. It only made me more concerned about my teammates’ mental health, and my own.

Dinner in the mess hall afterward turned out to be almost as much of a disaster as lunch and our combat training. Kelly was so frustrated by Karen’s behavior that she bluntly confronted her about it and that only made things more tense and threw any progress I thought we might be making as a team out the window. The jealousy and hostility toward Karen regarding Ainslee’s feedings seemed to come out of left field and I still felt kind of bad about having to chastise my older sister and remind her of her promise to give Karen a fair chance.

As much as I knew she was still my sister, and I still loved her very much, she wasn’t the sister that I remembered. In my head, that I knew that this shouldn’t be surprising after the Incursion, whatever happened to her on the other side of the Breach, and then what she had gone through before we were reunited at the hospital. I was different than I was before the Incursion in many ways as well. In my heart though, it hurt because my once confident and caring sister was a shadow of her former self, and I felt powerless to help her in any significant way.

I had hoped that a relaxing family night might help all of us, especially Kelly. I wasn’t the only one worried about her either, we all were. So, while my sister seemed out of it, we discussed having a movie night, I mentioned to the twins about how fluffy her tails were and how nice it might feel for her to have them brushed, and I encouraged Ainslee to have a talk with Kelly about whatever might be bothering her about the feeding on Karen thing when she could get her alone. I also planned the trip to the stables today to give Moonlight some proper care in her physical form and encouraged her to let my sister and Ainslee ride her as well, hoping that a talk with her therapist and getting back to familiar things might help her state of mind.

When I went to bed with Poppy, I thought that the movie night might have helped all of us, and Kelly looked so relaxed and happy while cuddling with Ainslee, watching the movie, and having her tails brushed. Then the nightmares happened. It took me forever to calm her down and I wasn’t sure what else I could do to help her through this. I felt so helpless.

I let out a long sigh as I pushed myself up from the soft comfort of the pillow and tiredly fluttered to where Kelly could see me. She looked as sleepy as I felt as I asked, “Did you sleep okay? Any more nightmares?”

“Yeah, I think I was too exhausted to dream,” my sister answered with a shake of her head. That wasn’t surprising between the day we had yesterday and just how much the nightmares she did have took out of her mentally and emotionally. At least she had gotten a little sleep.

“Do… you remember them? The nightmares?” I asked uncertainly. “Would you like to talk about them? It might help if you get it off your chest.”

“I… remember,” she choked out with a look on her face that told me that she likely would not soon forget the images that tormented her in her dreams.

That haunted expression in her eyes made me want to crawl into a hole and hide for even bringing it up. “I’m sorry, Sis, I shouldn’t have…” I began to apologize.

“No,” she said clearly after taking a deep breath to cut off my words. “I should probably talk about it. Not here and now though. We don’t have the time, and I would rather not think about those dreams right now. I was planning on talking about some other issues with my therapist today, I’ll bring the nightmares up then too. Would you come to my appointment with me? Just today, you don’t have to if you don’t want…”

Now it was my turn to interrupt her. “There is no place I would rather be, Sis. I’m so happy that I got through to you that day in the hospital and that you’re with me again, but I can see how much you’ve been hurting too. It hurts me so much seeing you in so much pain. I want to be able be there for you, to be able to help you somehow, but sometimes I feel helpless, like there isn’t anything I can do for you.”

“Lily, you are helping just by being here. Every day that I know I have you, Moonlight, Ainslee, Aunt Maya, and the twins still in my life, is a day that I feel like I can maybe learn to live again and that maybe we can save Mom. Even with all this other stuff going on like the Vanguard stuff, this new life, the nightmares, and learning about my new body and abilities stressing me out, knowing that you’re here with me makes it all bearable. You all just want me to be happy, and that makes me happy, but you’re my rock, Sis. I want to get through this, to get better, and I know I can as long as you’re here in my life,” she insisted, her voice steady and determination etched into her features.

We were both silent for a long moment after that, as we hugged as best we could with our massive size difference. Then I left her to return to my little house so we could both get a shower in before breakfast. I found the shower already occupied, but I joined Poppy and tried to get my mind off my worries as we helped each other get clean and our hands roamed and teased one another’s bodies.

It wasn’t until we were both dried off and getting dressed that my lover inquired in concern, “How was Kelly this morning? Any more nightmares?” We had both been woken up last night by my sister’s screaming and when I said I was going to comfort her, Poppy did little more than kiss me and tell me that she hoped I could help her.

“Thankfully, no,” I told her with a sigh. “Whatever nightmares she had last night shook her up enough and I think it took hours for her to get back to sleep. She’s going to talk about the dreams and some other stuff with her therapist today, and she asked me to be there.”

“That’s good, isn’t it, Love? She’s been keeping so much of her pain bottled up inside, we can all see it. Talking about it should be a step in the right direction, right?” the Fire Sprite asked as she adjusted her dress.

I nodded in agreement and might have even smiled a little at the thought. “Yeah, I hope you’re right. They say that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, but I have a feeling that my sister has a lot that she needs to work through.”

“True, Love, it’s going to be a long road for her, but I think she can manage it if the people she cares about help to keep her on her feet. I’ll help however I can too. We might not be very close yet, but she’s your sister, and I’d like to be her friend,” Poppy offered with a conflicted expression before pausing thoughtfully. “I’ve just been a little worried about talking to her about things like her interests or your childhood because I don’t want to bring up anything that might trigger her. You know how I can be, and I don’t want to accidentally blurt out something that might hurt her.”

“She could use all the good friends she can get, and I think Karen could too. I really hope lunch today goes better than yesterday,” I responded seriously before giving my intended a reassuring smile. “I’m pretty sure you’re just like that with me, or I assume hot girls that you’re interested in, hot stuff. You’re too sweet and worried about hurting people to say something you think might be hurtful. Honestly, I think topics like that should be safe though. Talking about familiar things and happy memories should be good for her and take her mind off everything else.”

The beautiful and caring Fire Sprite nodded and then wrapped me in a hug as I finished dressing. “Alright then, Love, if you think so I’ll try to talk to her more and get to know her better. Now, let’s go get some breakfast before we don’t have time to eat.”

Training that morning went about as well as it usually did, with Captain Monroe training me mercilessly in new and varied ways to use my Water magic. When we weren’t doing that, she was pushing me to my limits with my teleportation ability. Judging by how tired the others looked when I arrived at the mess hall with Karen in tow, I had to assume that everyone else’s trainers had put them through the wringer as well.

Lunch was moderately better than it was yesterday since everyone was being somewhat civil. Karen was quiet rather than openly hostile, which I reluctantly had to admit was an improvement, and at least everyone wasn’t at each other’s throats. I couldn’t really ask for much more than that after yesterday.

Despite my talk with Karen yesterday, I didn’t think that she was going to start opening up to us immediately, or even any time soon, and silence unless she was talked to directly was a marked improvement already on trying to push us all away. Trust was going to take a while for us to build with her. We were all trying to be patient with her for now and I was pleased to see that Kelly was making a concerted effort to do so as well. She tried to make conversation with both Karen and Lily and even when Karen rebuffed her or gave noncommittal answers, she took a breath to calm herself and took it in stride.

After lunch, I grudgingly allowed Karen to return to her room and Kelly and I left Ainslee and Poppy in the mess hall to wait while we took the elevator to the 11th floor of Vanguard Tower to search for the office of Kelly’s new therapist. The Vanguard had several therapists on staff to help people like Kelly and Karen who had been through severe trauma, something all too common among the members of the Vanguard. While all Vanguard members and recruits had an assigned therapist we could talk to if we felt the need, severe cases like my sister and Karen were required to see a therapist, and the psychologist that Kelly was seeing at the hospital transferred her case file to the one she had been assigned in Vanguard Tower.

When we arrived at the office in question and met Dr. Atkins, she wasn’t what I was expecting. I had been expecting somebody who was Altered, like us, not this grandmotherly little old lady. Kelly was surprised too but the woman was so friendly, approachable, and non-threatening that my sister seemed to relax almost immediately, especially when Dr. Atkins agreed that I could stay for their session.

First, she introduced herself and told us both about her experience and what she specialized in. Having been through severe trauma in her youth herself, she mostly dealt with more severe cases like my sister or Karen. Regular therapy sessions would probably be what my sister could expect from her going forward, but she also had some experience in hypnotherapy and repressed memories as well. For the first session though, she just wanted to get to know Kelly a bit and talk about whatever my sister wanted to bring up. She had read Kelly’s file, but that wouldn’t tell her who she was, at least that was what she said.

She started Kelly off easy, by asking about where we grew up and what her life was like back then. Kelly told her about our life at the ranch and our family, and revealed that we had been reunited with the MacKenzie family (most of them) when we left the hospital. Dr, Atkins listened with a smile and occasionally took notes, her attention focused almost solely on my sister, which I appreciated.

Kelly was the one to bring up the fears, insecurities, and depression that she had been feeling since we left the hospital. It crushed me to hear that she felt like she was holding me and our teammates back and that she seemed so lost right now. It hurt far more though to hear about the disturbing dreams that haunted her dreams last night, and almost every night since she was brought back to our world.

She remembered the dreams so vividly and might have thought they were memories if it wasn’t for the fact that her tormentors were so fuzzy and indistinct. In fact, what she feared most was that they were memories. The session was an emotional one and Kelly shed a lot of tears, and it pained me that all I could do was to listen and try to console her with my presence. By the time the two hours allotted for her session were up, Kelly was emotionally ragged, and I was glad that I had planned the outing to the university’s stables.