Jan had put me firmly on the spot with her offer to make more stocks.

“We could do it all ourselves.”

“We’d need a demonstrator though.”

“Sort of try before you buy?”

“Also, to size it up for the owner. I learned from trying my sister’s one that the height is important as is the placement of the ankle clamps in relation to what shoes are going to be worn while locked up. We could make an adjustable metal frame that we could use to size up the customer.”

“Sounds like we have a deal?”

Jan raised her glass.
“Too many more stocking fillers?”

I laughed.
“Nice one.”

I chinked her glass.

“Let me think about making a demo set of stocks. I’d need to think about the material. I used a good deal of pretty old wood in your sister’s set. I would need to think again about what I’d use if we were to make say ten a year. I would need to source enough used wood to make them. I have some ideas but there is no way that I’d want to use new wood unless it was a specific request from a customer. Working with green wood can be a pain in the neck.”

“Ten?” exclaimed Jan.

“Is that too many?”

“Who knows eh?”

“Perhaps you could sound out a few people?”

“Me? Why me?”

“I just thought that you might have a few contacts…?”

“And you don’t?”

“I am nothing more than a carpenter who lives way out in the sticks. Why would I have the sort of contacts that say… your sister probably has?”

“I’m not exactly in the same league as my sister, am I?”
Then she added,
“Ok, what if I build another unit less the electronics and put a few photos up on social media and onto the sort of forums where people with the right persuasion would see them.”

“Won’t just making another device take ages and use a lot of valuable material?”

I grinned.
“I can probably make something out of softwood that would look good enough for the photos and demonstrations, once I’d stained and varnished it. It should take me… what nine or ten days? I have enough of that sort of material here so the only cost is my time and some bright work. The nice wad of cash we received from your sister is more than enough to cover that. If I make it right, it could be taken apart and transported in the back of my van. That way, if we are going to charge top dollar for these things, we can take the demo unit to the customers’ place and make sure that it will fit. We can itemise a fitting and installation service on top of the basic device costs.”

Then I had another thought.
“I have a piece of the oak that I used for your sister’s device left over. I used it to test the finish. We could use that as an example of what the real device would look and feel like. I could easily add another piece to it to show the jointing and therefore the quality of my work.”

Jan sat there for almost a minute before she answered.

“I’m still not sure about this…”

“Are you worried about the commitment? From what you have said, you are happier working on short-term projects. Am I in the right ballpark?”

Jan nodded her head.
“Something like that.”

“Ok. How about I buy your design for the electronics and the code?”

Once again, she didn’t reply right away. When she did, it was not what I expected.

“For someone who wasn’t all that keen on the thing, something has changed in you?”

“If I can make something that I can be proud of in terms of my craft and workmanship and make a decent amount of money in the process… what’s not to like? Besides, commissions for bespoke kitchen units are a bit thin on the ground at the moment. Re-purposing chairs and other bits of furniture can only take me so far.”

Jan nodded.
I noticed that she was biting her lip. I guessed that she was fighting herself internally.

With a shrug of her shoulders, she said,
“Ok. I’ll do it. I’ll work with you on this.”

“Good. Then I’ll get going on it once we have sorted out your car in the morning…”

I almost started to talk about how any income would be split but I thought better of it. That could come later.

---

[the next morning]

“Thanks for the bed and everything,” said Jan as we ate some breakfast.

“But you want to get going?”

“Something like that. Where will we get a new distributor cap?”

“I think that our first port of call will be to a scrapyard that is about four miles away. I use it for random bits of metal for my projects. To make brackets, patterns, jigs, and the like. Old bonnets and doors are a great source of sheet metal.”

“Do you think that they’ll have one for my car?”

“It won’t hurt to find out. Your car is not that uncommon so I have to hope that we will find one. If not, then we’ll go into Newbury. I’m sure that there will be a place there where we can get one. I know where a couple of parts suppliers are located.”

Jan sighed and looked at the clock.
“Did you have somewhere to be?”

“Sort of. I said that I’d meet a girlfriend in Henley for lunch.”

“Why didn’t you say so before? We should go now.”

“What about the washing up?”

“That won’t go anywhere. I’ll sort it all out later.”

---

[one hour later]

“Try it now,” I said as I put the last of the leads onto the plugs.

We’d found a distributor cap at the scrap yard and it had only cost a couple of pounds. Putting it in place was pretty easy once I’d remembered to note which HT lead went to which spark plug. I’d given the replacement cap a good clean and it looked almost perfect to me. Only trying the engine would let me know for sure or if I’d be taking Jan to Henley for her lunch date.

“Ok,” said Jan from inside the car.

Five seconds later, the engine was running sweetly. With a bit of a smile on my face, I closed the bonnet and walked around to the driver’s door.

“You should make it to your lunch appointment on time now,” I said trying to be positive.

Jan nodded her head.
“Thanks for doing that. I might be pretty good when it comes to software and electronics but cars are a mystery to me.”

“Don’t worry about it. It was nice having company last night. Now I can go and do the washing up,” I added half joking.

“You make me feel a bit guilty…”

“Don’t be. As I said, it was nice having someone around to talk to for at least a few hours.”

“Same here.”

“I’ll give you a call when I have something ready to show you.”

“And I’ll have a bit of a think about how I can make the electronics a bit less bespoke.”

I watched her drive off with more than a tinge of regret. Spending the last 24 hours with her had been very enjoyable. Now it was back to work.

---

[Twelve days later]

I was just finishing off the last bit of staining when my phone rang. For a moment, I debated answering it. If I did stop then I’d more than likely have to re-do all the staining. I carried on and let the call go to answer-phone.

Almost an hour had elapsed before I was satisfied with the colour and had cleaned my gear and myself. I put the kettle on and then remembered about the phone call.

There was a message waiting for me. Before listening to it, I checked the caller ID. In the past week, I had been plagued by scammers from India, trying to sell me extended warranties for a washing machine that I had bought two years before. They wanted silly money for a service contract that didn't exist. I need not have worried. The call was from Jan.

I made myself some tea and a cheese and pickle sandwich before calling her back.

“Hi, Jan. Sorry for not taking your call I was in the middle of staining the demo stocks.”

“They will be ready to show off in two days. I need to varnish it first. Two coats will do the job.”

“How much? I estimate that it has cost me about twenty quid. I used a load of softwood that was leftover from a kitchen I made last year. The costs were mostly for the stain. I already had the varnish from a previous project. I did buy some cheap locks and hasps but that was only about a tenner.

“Hasps are those metal things that you put the padlocks through. I’ll show you when you are here next. Speaking of that? How is your side of things going?”

“You are? That’s good news. When will you be ready to show me?”

I listened to what Jan was saying and it was all good news.
“Ok, Jan. I’ll be expecting you on Monday. See you then.”

I ended the call and looked around my workshop. It wasn’t that messy. Then I thought about my home. That was bad. Once I got my teeth into a project, I tended to forget about little things such as washing up and housework in general. I was going to spend the weekend cleaning everything in sight.

That was for when I was done with the stocks. No rest for the wicked.

With the second coat of polyurethane varnish drying and all my brushes clean, I headed up to my flat. A sink full of dirty dishes greeted me when I walked into the kitchen carrying the tray of dirty mugs from my office. I found a space for the tray and closed the door behind me. I would tackle the kitchen later. But first, I headed for the shower. I had to get the smell of varnish and turps substitute off my skin.

I don't know what it is about a hot shower. When I come out of the shower, I might feel cold but elated. I came down from a temporary high when I saw the pile of dirty clothes on the floor in the spare bedroom. I had to do a lot of washing before Monday. There was nothing for it, not that I needed much if anything in the way of urging, I would dress up as my other self, Marcie.

I padded into my bedroom and unlocked ‘Marcie’s Closet’. I selected an outfit to wear and laid it out on my bed. I sighed as I saw the sheets. More washing to be done.

As I got dressed, I wondered if I’d have enough time to get everything clean and tidy before Monday. I shook my head. Prevaricating about it won’t get the jobs done.

[Sunday Afternoon]

I’d just put the sixth and last load of washing on when I heard a knock at my front door.

“Fuck,” I said to myself.

I peered out of the side window and saw Jan’s car. I swore again as she knocked again. My van was outside and the lights were on in the nearly clean kitchen so it would be obvious to her that I was home.

I closed my eyes and counted to ten… twice before going to the front door.

I opened it and said,
“Hi Jan, you are a day early. You’d better come in.”
I couldn’t look at her I was so ashamed at how I looked.

Then I heard her laughing. For a moment, I almost slammed the door in her face but I didn’t. Instead, like the coward that I am, I turned around and almost ran upstairs to my home.

I heard the door close and for a second, I hoped that Jan would have left me alone. Then I heard the sound of her shoes on the stairs.

“John, I’m not the enemy you know,” said Jan as she reached the top of the stairs.
For the first time since her untimely arrival, I got a good look at her. What I saw was quite startling. She was dressed in a pink outfit of a style that would be more suited to a wedding party than my distinctly downbeat home and workshop.

“I was at my cousin Nicolle’s wedding. Yes, I was a bridesmaid. That’s why I’m dressed up like this. Alex was there as well looking better than the bride. Being a bridesmaid, I was sat next to one of the groomsmen for the reception. He was a bore and between the starter and the main course, he tried to get it on with me. I stabbed his wandering hand with my fork and slapped him hard. I walked out and left him to it.”

She paused and swallowed hard.
“While he was trying it on with me, all I could think of was you. Alex followed me out of the reception and told me ‘Go and see him’. How she knew that I was thinking of you I don’t know but here I am.”

“And then you see me like this? Aren’t you tempted to hit the road? I must be such a disappointment to you?”

Jan didn't answer. Instead, she stepped towards me and kissed me gently on the lips.

“You could never be a disappointment to me. I don’t want anything to do with jerks like that idiot at the wedding or any macho men. It hit me as I drove up the road to your house that you have never tried it on with me. Not one chat-up line or anything. I was going to ask you if we could become a thing… if you weren’t gay. Then I saw you dressed like that and I knew right then that I wanted to be part of your life.”

“Even looking like this?” I asked still trying to understand what she’d said.

“Yes… Well, your dress sense is not the greatest and there is plenty of room for improvement. I’d love to go shopping with you!”

"Even looking like this?" I replied repeating myself.

Jan laughed.
“Not like that. No one would go shopping looking like that, but for messing around at home it is great.”

I was wearing a black Lycra miniskirt, black tights and a blue top. The skirt and top showed clear evidence of my efforts at cleaning the house and my knees were soiled so I must have looked a right state, especially with a total lack of makeup and two days of stubble on my chin.

“I don’t know,” was all I could say.

Jan came to me again and for a moment, I thought that she was going to kiss me again. Most of me wanted her to do just that but she didn’t. Instead, she sat me down on one of the kitchen chairs that I'd made myself. Then she hitched up the ankle-length skirt of her pink dress and straddled me. Then she kissed me.

After a long kiss, she said,
“I would love to help you look and act better. To find you looking like this all starts to make sense. I knew from my last time here that you were hiding something. That’s when I wondered if you were gay but now, I know different.”

“But Jan?”

“What do you call yourself when you dress up, and please don’t say Joanna?”

“Marcie, I call myself Marcie.”

“Ok, Marcie. What have you left to do before you were ready for me to arrive on Monday?”

“Your bedroom looks like a bomb site. I dumped so much stuff in there. I was going to spend tomorrow sorting it. Then there is that?” I said looking over at a huge pile of ironing that nearly covered the kitchen table.

“There is more on the line and in the washer. I sort of forgot to do any for a while.”

“I’ll do the ironing. You can sort out the bedroom tomorrow. In the meantime, do you have any decent scissors?”

“Why?”

“To cut this stupid dress off so that I can move. The skirt is cut so effing tight that I had to hitch it up just to climb the stairs.”

Without thinking I said,
“I think that it suits you… apart from that horrible colour. Pink is not you is it?”

Jan got off me and went in search of the scissors.

“Second drawer down,” I said pointing at a drawer unit.

She smiled as she found the scissors. Then she handed them to me.

“Will you cut this thing off?”

“While you are wearing it?”

“Yes silly. That way it might stand some chance of ending up the same length all around.”

I took the scissors from her.

“Ok, be it on you.”

“Just don’t stab me, ok?”

“How long or short do you want it?”

Without hesitation, she put her finger well up her thigh.
“Here… if you have some more tights like the ones that you are wearing? Clean ones mind you…”

“I do.”

“Then get cutting.”

Later that evening as we sat cuddled up on my sofa, I began to wonder why I’d been so afraid of her to begin with.

“You said that Alex was at the wedding. Did she have anything to say about you know what?”

“She only said that they were having fun with their new toy. I could tell that she was telling the truth.”

“That’s good news. It sounds like your relationship with her has improved a bit?”

“It has but I still have not forgiven her for stealing my first real boyfriend from me. She did it out of spite. Then she publicly humiliated him for something. I got a lot of stick from his family and he did not deserve what she dished out. But that was over a decade ago. He’s the racing manager of a leading Formula 1 team so he’s done well.”

“Time is a great healer,” I said.

Jan turned on the couch to face me.
“I’ve been thinking about some enhancements of my own. I did some drawings but they are at home. I’ll need to go home tomorrow and get the latest version of the electronics. As I was putting it all together, I got thinking about the packaging of the electronics. My new design is a lot better but it can be improved. But… that was not the only improvement I was thinking about. It was something that Alex once said to me about wearing a vibrator to work.”

“That could get embarrassing,” I said as I had visions of someone having an orgasm at the wrong time.

“True but if it brought you almost to climax and stopped and then repeated you could enjoy yourself and no one would know.”

“All in good time my dear, all in good time.”

That was when I knew that Jan was here to stay. All that was left to work out was where we could put her very own set of stocks! After all, she needed a place to test her electronics, didn’t she?

[Authors Note]
I wrote the first two parts and then got stuck. Two years later, I was off to the Motorcycle Show at the NEC in Birmingham. As I was going by train, I used the time to write the concluding part.

[the end]