Life and Love are far more complicated than we can possibly understand. For one young cop, a journey of self-discovery will teach them that true strength was inside them all along.

The next day, the couple spent the day in Bozeman as Olivia showed Richard the sights of her home. The city was where she’d gone to school and spent most of her time growing up when not on the ranch. He could tell a lot of the place held bad memories for her but was thankful that she was willing to share this part of her life with him. The weight of the past was beginning to lift, he could see. She was smiling now, which was an improvement. The culture here was so dramatically at odds with the California pace he was so used to but he could grow to like the laid-back lifestyle.

With plans to travel to Olivia’s parent's home for dinner that evening, the couple returned to the hotel to change before making the hour-long drive over to the ranch. Richard was nervous for one of the first times in his life. Very few things rattled the man. He was able to take to the floor of the courtroom and do battle with some of the sharpest legal minds and he’d even faced down mobsters. Somehow, the prospect of meeting his girlfriend’s family scared him. He wasn’t sure if it was the fragile nature of their relationship or the thought that her father might bury him in the mountains if he disapproved.

Olivia pulled her truck into the ranch yard a little before six that evening and parked in front of the house.

“Ready?” she asked, turning to Richard.

“You?” he countered, climbing down from the truck.

“You’re the one meeting my family and you’re the city boy.”

Taking his hand, Olivia made her way up to the front door and hesitated for a moment before opening the door. She was apprehensive to return, but she was confident that she could handle things with him beside her. Sarah and her mother were firmly on her side she knew and the rest would come in time. Her biggest concern was how her father would take to Richard’s part in all of this. After all, wasn’t a father meant to disapprove of his daughter’s boyfriends? She wasn’t sure how that applied in her case, however.

Opening the door, she stepped out of the sunlight into the darker interior of the house.

“Hello?” she called.

“This is stunning,” Richard observed, glancing around the wood and stone interior of the home.

Nobody was visible so she led him further into the house and entered the family room. Her father was standing in front of the desk reviewing a sheaf of papers. He turned as she entered.

“Your mother and sister are in the kitchen,” he stated with a tone that suggested she leave him with Richard.

“Dad?” Olivia asked hesitantly.

Her father shook his head and pointed to the hallway with a crystal tumbler of amber liquid in his hand. “Off you go.”

Olivia looked up at Richard and squeezed his hand. He shrugged imperceptibly and nodded. Making her way back out towards the corridor, Olivia glanced back at the scene of two bulls facing off against one another and grimaced. This was either going to go well or be a massacre, but she knew better than to argue.

The scent of food led her through to the kitchen, a place she had spent so many hours as a kid. Her mother and sister were chatting with the housekeeper as they worked.

“Hi,” she called, hesitating at the doorway.

Sarah smiled as she saw her and welcomed her in. “Dad working over Richard?”

Olivia nodded before glancing nervously at Mrs. Swiftwater, the housekeeper, uncertain of what she knew.

Hellen Swiftwater had always been their housekeeper for as long as Olivia could remember. Her father had worked for her grandfather and both her sons were hands on the ranch. The native woman and her boys were essentially part of the family at this point.

The lady approached her and held out her arms to Olivia’s sides and appraised her carefully.
She nodded her approval and hugged the girl. “Welcome home Miss Dalton.”

“Olivia,” she corrected.

Mrs. Swiftwater shook her head and continued, she’d never called any of the family by their first names on principle except when they were little. “It’s good to see you and I’m very happy to see you finally.”

Olivia inclined her head, “Finally?”

“I was explaining to your mother and sister how my people see the two-spirited in my culture, and that when you were small I could see you were different from the other boys. There are many terms for it but I think the closest is iskwéw ka-napéwayat, meaning "woman who dressed as a man.”

Olivia raised her eyebrows and said nothing.

“Things vary of course, but we are not as narrow-minded as you white people.”

“So you’re ok with this?” Olivia asked cautiously, uncertain as to where she stood.

Mrs. Swiftwater nodded and smiled. “Of course dear, I am happy to finally see you.”

“What was this I heard about my daughters getting into a bar fight?” Evelyn asked casually, changing the subject while she prepared a dish.

“We weren’t looking for trouble, but a guy wouldn’t stop touching me.” Olivia explained.

“And you kicked their asses,” Sarah added happily. “Mom, you should have been there.”

Evelyn rolled her eyes, “I think I can imagine more than enough thank you dear.”

“It was so awesome! We’re duking it out and she broke this guy’s knee and pulled her badge and gun, it was like a movie scene,” Sarah gushed. “I’m so proud of you.”

“It was that or get my ass groped,” Olivia complained, “He wouldn’t get off me so I put him in a hold then it all went downhill,” she explained, hoping her mother wouldn’t think she had started it.

Evelyn smiled, “And you never should darling. No man has the right to touch you if you don’t want him to. I just worry about both of you girls but especially you darling,” she added looking specifically at Olivia.

“I’m a cop, Mom, It’s not my first fight.”

“I’m your mother, I’m allowed to worry.”

Mrs. Swiftwater bustled past with a tray of roast potatoes, “There was a princess of the Ojibwe people named Ashwiyaa, ‘She who Arms Herself’, she was a full warrior within her clan, I think she and you have much in common.”

Olivia smiled, Mrs. Swiftwater had always had stories and analogies from her culture she would rattle off at a moment’s notice. She had always seen it as her duty to ensure the Dalton children understood the native peoples of the area and the significance of their world.

Olivia knew what her people had done to the Native Americans and had always felt a deep regret. She loved Mrs. Swiftwater’s stories.

“Think Dad’s killed Richard yet?” Sarah quipped.

Olivia shot her a look as she began helping with the food.

“Don’t be silly,” their mother chided. “He’s a lovely man, Olivia, he’ll be fine.”

Olivia was still worried. She knew what her father could be like and she’d seen him with Sarah’s high school boyfriends. She was also painfully aware that her daughter's status was still extremely new in her father’s mind.

Once they had finished preparations, Olivia and Sarah were sent through to get the men for dinner. Olivia hoped she’d still have a boyfriend once they got there. Entering the family room, she was greeted by a sight she didn’t expect.

Her father and Richard were sitting opposite of one another laughing at something, glasses of whiskey in their hands.

“He gets whiskey?” Sarah balked, “Really?”

James Dalton rolled his eyes. “It’s my whiskey, I can give it to whoever I want in my own damn house.”

“You practically lynched my boyfriends! What gives?”

“See what I have to deal with?” he directed at Richard.

“So this looks cozy,” Olivia observed, crossing her arms. “No blood?”

“No honey,” Richard reassured her. “Your father was telling me about some legal silliness he had with the Forestry Service.”

James Dalton nodded and gestured to Richard, “Keep this one.”

Olivia sighed. “Oh, thanks, Dad. I’ll maintain my relationship so you can have free legal advice.”

Her father threw his hands up and feigned surrender. “Yeah, you really are my damn daughter.” he chuckled.

Dinner was a pleasant but slightly awkward affair as her mother and sister grilled Richard relentlessly. Olivia felt a great peace eating at the table with her family. At first, things were a little stilted as they all adjusted to her on a more personal level, but she was beginning to feel them warm toward her. This was the family she had longed for her entire life. The past couldn’t be forgotten, but she did understand. It was going to be a long road, but she could feel a greater warmth already. The only black stain was Mark’s empty chair across from her.

Her brother… Olivia had never been particularly close to Mark, but she had looked up to him when she was younger. He was what she was supposed to be and she had tried, or at least felt as though she had to. They had never spent a lot of time together and it had been difficult. He never took part in the bullying, but he had also never attempted to stop it. She hoped she could at least speak to him before she left, but she got the impression he was keeping his distance now he was outnumbered.

She was glad to see Richard accepted by her family. Her father had concerned her the most, but it seemed as though the old man could see at least a little of what she saw in her man. They were from different worlds, but she recognized the same sense of honor and correctness that drove Richard to be close to her father’s heart.

“When are you back at work?” her mother asked as they were eating dessert.

Olivia wasn’t sure, “A few weeks maybe, as long as I pass my medical.”

“I don’t know how I feel about you being a police officer in such a dangerous place.” her father frowned. “You’re so far away from here and now I have to worry about a daughter.”

“Dad, I’m fine, I’m good at my job.”

“So I heard last night,” he observed with a pointed look. “You know I had Mr. Cane on the phone this morning with a skunk up his ass about four of his boys in jail.”

“That wasn’t my fault, we didn’t start it.” Olivia protested.

“She sure as hell finished it.” Sarah grinned.

James Dalton shook his head and his lip quirked upward. “Why’d you have to go and be more of a handful than Sarah?”

“Nobody lays a finger on my daughters.” her mother stated firmly. “I’m sure nobody is going to go near them now.”

“Well that’s just boring,” Sarah grinned.

“You’re married,” her father added, frowning.

“So what? They can look,” she shrugged.

Olivia and Richard were forbidden from returning to Bozeman that evening and put up in one of the guest bedrooms at the house. Her mother had given Richard strict instructions to return the next day and gather their luggage so that they might stay at the ranch for the remainder of their visit.

Olivia had considered using her old room but rejected the idea of returning to a place that still held great pain for her. She had cried herself to sleep too many nights in that room to ever want to sleep in it again. That, and the bed was far too small for two people.

Sarah had lent her a nightgown and she climbed into the bed beside Richard and snuggled up against him under the covers. Olivia closed her eyes and sighed. She had never imagined this moment in her entire life. Here she was, in her family home in bed with the man she loved. Her family knew her and loved her, and more importantly, they seemed to like him too. She could feel the stress of years leaving her soul and it felt serene.

Richard slid his hand up her thigh and under the edge of her nightgown. Olivia slapped his hand away and wagged a finger.

“Not tonight,” she chided. “My father will literally bury you in the woods.”

“Daddy’s little girl.” Richard chuckled and hugged her close as they drifted off to sleep.

Olivia woke abruptly the next morning and it took her a moment to remember where she was. Above her, the timbers of the roof were a familiar sight she had seen her entire childhood. Light streamed past the curtains bringing with it the sounds of the morning on the ranch. As she lay there on the bed, she felt her heart rate begin to settle back to normal as she glanced around the room.

She wasn’t sure if it was a nightmare or a near-waking moment where she had still been Harry and six years had not passed. She knew it wasn’t real but the feeling had been horrible.

She could feel the heat of Richard’s body next to hers and she smiled softly as she ran her fingers down the curve of his spine under the covers. No, she wasn’t Harry anymore.

Slipping from under the covers, she wrapped a dressing gown around her body and quietly left the room. Reaching the landing, she could hear voices downstairs. The voices sounded like her parents.

Settling down next to the mezzanine banister, Olivia strained to hear the conversation, unsure whether she should interrupt.

“I just don’t know Evie, it’s a lot to digest.” she heard her father say.

“James, It’s her, him… her, I can’t not love my child.”

“Did we do this? Was it our fault?”

“I don’t think so, I think we pushed her away. I never saw this coming.”

“It’s all so damn much Evie, h… she’s so much like you it hurts to see it. I feel like my son’s dead.”

Olivia couldn’t stand by any longer as she listened. She stood and began to descend the stairs. She heard the conversation stop as the boards creaked beneath her feet. Looking across at her parents on one of the sofas she smiled weakly. “Good morning.”

“Morning dear,” her mother smiled guiltily.

“I heard you guys, no need to pretend,” Olivia explained. “I’m sorry I’m such a disappointment.”

Olivia slumped into one of the armchairs and folded her legs underneath herself. “I just want to be happy. I didn’t choose this road, it’s not easy and it’s something I wish I didn’t have to do. The truth is, it’s this or…” Olivia swallowed. “I don’t know.”

“Honey, It’s not going to be easy.” her father began with a sigh. “It’s a lot of adjustment for me and it won’t be easy but I will try. I just feel responsible somehow.”

Olivia moved over to sit beside her father. She felt him tense up first before relaxing and putting his arm carefully on her shoulder. It wasn’t a hug, but it was close enough.

“Dad, this wasn’t your fault,” she pleaded, looking up at the man beside her. “This is always who I was. It took me some time to see it, and I won’t lie, things were really bad in high school, but I’m just glad we have this chance now to do things right.”

Her father pulled her to his side and rested his chin on her head. “I know, me too,” he admitted sadly. “Just do me a favor, ok?”

“What?”

“Don’t go pulling that daddy shit Sarah still uses on me when she wants something, ok?”

“No promises,” Olivia giggled.

“Go take her up to the lake.” her mother suggested getting up and heading for the kitchen. “You two need to get to know each other again.”

“I have work to do,” James protested. “And I’m sure… She’d rather spend time with her gentleman.”

“Bullcrap, the hands have it under control for a few hours, the ranch won’t burn down.”

“No Dad, it’s a good idea.” Olivia agreed, “I can see Richard any time I want, but I want to spend some time with you if you’ll let me?”

“I guess it’s decided for me then.” her father huffed. “Go get changed, I’ll go saddle the horses.”

Olivia made her way back upstairs and knocked lightly on her sister’s door. “Sarah? You awake?”

There was no answer so she knocked again. “Sarah?”

There was a mutter inside. “Mmmfh… come in.”

Olivia opened the door cautiously and slid inside, Sarah was face down in the bed, a halo of her blonde hair fanned out in physically impossible directions.

“What.”

“I need to borrow some clothes.”

“I swear I never thought I’d hear the words in my fucking life.” she muttered rolling over and blinking. “Why?”

“I’m going up to the lake with Dad, I don’t think a skirt and a top will cut it.”

“Go for it, but I’m not helping you with your makeup.”

Olivia made her way to the wardrobe and began to rifle through the sections, “Nah I’m good, I’m better than you anyway.”

“Cheeky bitch.” Sarah scoffed, lobbing a pillow at her sister.

Olivia made her way down to the stables as memories of home flooded back. She wore a pair of her sister's jeans with the cuffs rolled up and one of her flannel shirts and a quilted vest. Her boots were still good and she’d borrowed a hat. She felt suitably attired for the day.

Richard had just risen when she left, but she’d left him in her mother’s capable hands, which might be unfortunate for him, she considered. Her father was just finishing tacking up two horses when she reached the long stable building down by the barns.

“Hey.”

Her father looked round, “Ev… Oh.” he shook his head. “You really are the spitting image of your mother when she was your age.”

“Sorry,” Olivia offered meekly, taking the reins of a piebald mare her father offered her. “I know it can’t be easy.”

James Dalton shook his head and sighed, “I want to have more problems with it,” he admitted, but I can’t be mad looking at that face.”

Olivia watched several hands working one of the corals. Her expression must have betrayed the question on her mind because her father chuckled as he mounted his horse. “Oh, they already know. You think a story about four of the J’s guys getting their asses kicked by a Dalton girl doesn’t make the rounds like a brushfire?”

Olivia shrugged. “I figured it wouldn’t take long.”

“They can keep their mouths shut if they have anything bad to say or they don’t work here.” Her father replied tersely. “I might not fully understand it but you’re still my kid.”

The pair rode out over the east pasture and upwards into the foothills of the Absaroka Range. Olivia had missed the feeling of being so extremely cut off from the modern world. Up here, it was just you, your horse, and the wilderness. She rode with her father for an hour mostly in silence. It wasn’t that they didn’t have things to talk about, but rather that silence was a luxury they both enjoyed.

As they entered the tree line and the gradient began to steepen they slowed to a walk and he pulled up alongside her horse.

“Explain this to me in words I can understand.”

“Long or short?”

“Long, we have time.”

Olivia began at her earliest memories and started her explanation. She didn’t spare a detail and took her father through how her life had felt to her.

“End of the day, I don’t want to be a girl, this isn’t some fantasy I’m trying to reenact. Up here,” she tapped her hat. “Up here, I am. The rest just needed to catch up.”

She ducked to avoid a low branch and continued. “How do you know you like Mom?”

Her father was silent for a moment. “I just do. The first time I saw her, she took my breath away. I knew that I’d marry that girl one day and spend the rest of my days with her.”

“How do you know you hate Brussels Sprouts? You’ve never eaten one, right?”

Her father screwed his face up, making her laugh. “The smell, texture, they look wrong. It’s irrational.”

“That’s how I feel. Up in my head, I knew one thing with total certainty, and my body was the sprout.”

Her father chuckled. “Ok, I can understand that I think.”

“I’m sorry,” he said after a pause. “I’m sorry I was such a hardass to you growing up. It’s how my father was with me, and it worked on Mark, I thought you just needed more of it. I convinced myself it would take time. By the point your mother and I realized it wasn’t, you were barely speaking to us anymore.”

“I felt like I was alone with everyone against me. Even the people that were meant to love me,” Olivia admitted. “It took me years to realize you and Mom are just people. People make mistakes. None of us have all the answers.”

Her father looked at her sideways. “When did you become so wise?”

Olivia laughed. “I’m a cop dad, you get the real 411 on life on a weekend night shift.”

Her father smiled. “We’re here,” he announced as they crested a ridge into a forest clearing three or four hundred feet across. The clearing held a lake of cerulean blue water, surrounded on all sides by a rocky bank. There was a creek flowing into one end causing the only disturbance to its flawless surface.

“Wow,” Olivia breathed as she crested the rise herself.

“This is where I proposed to your mother.” Her father explained. “I took her up here for a picnic and I popped the question.”

“I can see why,” Olivia agreed. “It’s beautiful.”

Her father dismounted and tied off his horse to a nearby branch and walked over the lake’s edge before crouching down to pick up a flat rock from the shingle by the water’s edge. She watched as he flicked the rock out over the water, watching it skip several times before sinking thirty feet away.

It was such a childlike thing to do, and it seemed quite unlike her father to simply do something for the sake of doing it. He was a practical man and always had been. James Dalton didn’t do something unless it was worth doing. To see him simply skip a rock on a lake because he wanted to seemed incongruous.

“When your sister turned eighteen, I brought her up here to share this place that was so special to your Mom and I. I spoke to her about her hopes and dreams and who she wanted to be in this world. I wanted to understand the young woman that was going to leave my nest and head out into the world and make my peace with her no longer being my little girl.”

“That’s not a side of you I’d have expected,” Olivia observed, joining him on the shoreline.

Her father grinned, his eyes still tracing the far shoreline of the lake. “It was your mother’s idea of course.”

Olivia nodded. She could see it being her Mom’s idea, but she was silently honored that he’d brought her here. Their parents never spoke in much depth about their courtship or how they’d lived before Mark was born.

Her father gave her a look. It wasn’t judgemental or disappointed, but instead analytical. His eyes seemed to flicker across her face and body as if taking her in for the first time. “I know what you are or at least I think I do, but I don’t know who you are.”

“I’m your child,” Olivia answered uncertainly.

Her father shook his head, “You’re my daughter.” he stated flatly. “Who are you?”

Olivia settled down onto the rocky shore. Her legs were stiff from the time in the saddle. She pondered the question, unsure as to who she actually was. It’s a question everyone considers, but never truly answers about themselves. Life and ego have a way of making people think the best of themselves; the potential and the possibility. They go through their existence thinking about who they want to be, and what they want to do, rarely stopping to ask, who they are in the moment.

“I’m a cop.” she said quietly. “I became a cop because I wanted to protect people from the assholes of the world. When I was younger, and the cops got involved after some of the ass-kickings I took, they never cared much. I wanted to be able to be there for just one kid like me or one person in the worst place in their life. I want to be the justice I would have wanted.”

Her father’s expression was hard to read as he looked out over the water. Olivia thought for a moment. That wasn’t the question entirely. She wondered for a moment exactly who Olivia Dalton was, what parts of Harry remained, and what parts of Mia she had adopted and made her own.

“I want to tell you a story,” she started more surely, flicking her own rock across the lake’s glassy surface. “A while back, I was involved in a domestic kidnapping. This gay couple had a major argument. The boyfriend wanted to go back to his wife and when the cops showed up, one of them panicked and pulled a gun on his boyfriend. It went how you’d expect, they fled the scene eventually crashing the car. We ended up in this standoff up on this mountain bridge just north of the city. The guy was surrounded, his partner was terrified and we called up a negotiator. The guy was good, sure, but he followed the usual template we have for that stuff. I was working with this training officer at the time, a guy called Parker, we’d been sent around this gulch and up to a spot beside them to cover in case anything went wrong. The guy started to tell the negotiator he didn’t understand him, or his situation. How could he? He was straight? It didn’t matter that love is love, he just got so wrapped up in that technicality that he was stuck there.”

She paused to see if her father was following her and realized the man was paying her rapt attention.

“They called over the radio to see if anyone on the scene could identify with the guy. I didn’t want to, but I couldn’t stop myself from volunteering. I went up there and I poured my heart out to this guy. I told him about my childhood, my pain, and my sense of loss. I told him I understood him, that I saw him, and that he wasn’t alone. I stood there in front of all of my colleagues and I opened my soul to this guy. He wasn’t a bad person, just in a shitty situation.” she admitted.

“What happened?” her father asked quietly.

“He gave up. He gave us the gun, let the guy go, and came quietly. It was the first time my colleagues looked at me with respect rather than distrust.” she admitted. “I think it was the first time I was truly honest with myself about how I’d felt, and I was no longer that skinny little gay guy they worked with, someone to mistrust or feel strange around. They saw the honesty and my desire to help.”

Her father smiled. “That sounds like something your Mom would do, put herself out there for other people, regardless of what it would cost her.”

Olivia nodded. “Who am I? I don’t know Dad. I’m figuring that out. Part of me is the kid you knew growing up, but no kid stays that way forever. They become an adult and they learn more about themselves. They understand who they are and what they want to do with their life. Part of me is always going to be that miserable kid, part of me is the cop that wants to help. Part of me is even the brash confident comedian that goes out on stage and makes people laugh. Who am I?” Olivia gave a sardonic laugh. “I’m just a girl trying to keep up with the world.”

Her father looked at her for a moment, there were no words exchanged between the two of them but she could see understanding in his eyes finally.

“I guess it took you being honest with yourself to finally find that strength I always prayed you’d find,” he admitted. “When I heard about that business up at the Copper the other night, I was angry and afraid for you, but now I see Harry wouldn’t have ever stood up to that. But Olivia would.”

“So I’m two people?”

He shook his head, “No, just one now.” as he kissed her forehead.

Forgiveness was a strange word and an even stranger feeling. Olivia couldn’t forget what she had experienced growing up as it had, in a way, made her who she was today. Without her suffering at the hands of others; she wouldn’t be a cop and she wouldn’t have experienced any of the things she had to date. Would she have left Montana or met Richard? Would she have found herself or been so badly hurt?

She couldn’t predict alternate paths in her life, but she could forgive her parents. Her own struggle helped her to realize they were only human. People were fallible and weak to their own prejudice without even knowing it. Forgiveness was acceptance of what had happened and an understanding of why.

They had returned from their ride as father and daughter, the change was palpable. Her dad was more comfortable with her and treated her imperceptibly more like her older sister.

When they returned to the ranch house, her mother had been waiting on the steps. She saw them walking up hand in hand and simply smiled as she informed them dinner was waiting.

Richard had returned from Bozeman with their belongings a little before they arrived. He’d been waiting in the family room when she got back and Olivia had kissed him openly in front of her father.

Richard had been a little hesitant to draw her father’s ire but noticed the slight smile on the man’s face and realized his love had succeeded in her quest.

Their meal was comfortable. It felt like family to Olivia for the first time in her life. Richard was by her side and her family loved her. She still felt pain when she noticed Mark’s empty chair. Maybe he would come to terms with her, but she wasn’t sure. She knew now that she could handle his hatred as long as she had people that loved her. It was his fault, not hers.

Olivia ate and laughed and told stories over dinner. She enjoyed the moment in time to simply be.

After dinner, the sun was setting as she sat on the porch with Richard by her side. The couple kissed tenderly, enjoying the warmth of each other’s bodies as they shared an expression of their love. Olivia felt a warm tingle flowing through her entire being.

Her tranquility was broken when the bitter voice of her brother spoke in the dying light. “You faggots are fucking disgusting.”

Olivia separated herself from Richard and looked in the direction of the voice. Mark looked disheveled and drunk. He hadn't appeared to have shaved in several days and his expression was a mask of disgust.

“What bothers you so much about me?” Olivia fired back defensively.

Mark looked like he’d tasted something bitter. “Everything about you Harry… what the fuck have you become? This fucking parody of a girl so you can fuck guys and not feel ashamed about being a faggot.”

Richard stood and squared his shoulders pushing Olivia to one side of him.

“You won’t speak to her like that,” he growled. “Not in front of me.”

Mark laughed loudly, “Her? You fucking believe that shit, don’t you? You’re so fucking closeted you need to think of my baby brother as a fucking girl so you can sodomize him to your heart's content?”

“Mark!” Olivia screamed louder than she’d hoped, her temper flaring. “Get out of here before you say something more you regret. Leave us alone! If you don’t get it, or can’t accept this then that’s ok, but just don’t be so fucking horrible about it!”

Mark stepped forward and raised his hand to strike her but was blindsided by a jab from Richard. Mark landed heavily in the dust and wiped his bloody lip. His eyes lit up with fire and he lunged at Richard, swinging wildly.

Richard held his own admirably against the bigger man. Both of them exchanged blows and ended up in the dirt in front of the porch. Mark ended up on top of Richard and was landing blows on him with hatred in his eyes. Olivia rushed forward and attempted to drag her brother off her boyfriend.

Mark wheeled back and swung upwards connecting with Olivia’s forehead as she bent to grab him. Olivia hit the ground and the world went black.

She came to with throbbing pain burning behind her eyes.

“It’s ok baby, you’re ok.” her mother’s voice soothed as she felt a hand stroking her hair.
Olivia was barely aware of what was going on around her. There was yelling and she saw fast-moving shapes. As her vision cleared, she saw her father holding her brother by the back of his collar, he was swinging wildly still as her father threw him to the ground and yelled at the man.

“What’s going on?” she murmured trying to focus on her mother. She was laying on the ground with her head in the woman’s lap.

“Your brother, we heard the argument and…” she trailed off. “He’s lost the plot.”

“Richard,” Olivia mumbled thickly.

“He’s fine darling, he’s helping your father subdue him.”

Olivia was helped to sit by her mother. Her head hurt, but she felt otherwise fine after a quick check. Off to one side, her father was dragging Mark away by his scruff down towards the barn.

Richard appeared beside her, he had a bleeding nose and a black eye but he smiled at her regardless. “Are you ok?” he asked carefully, wiping the blood from his lips.

She nodded. “Better than you, what happened?”

“You pulled him back and he swung, must have made a lucky connection because you went down hard… right as your dad came racing out and decked him without a pause.”

Olivia let her shoulders droop. “I’m sorry,” she mumbled. “This is all my fault.”

“No dear,” her mother chided, “It’s his problem and your father is about to educate him.”

Olivia winced as she touched her temple, a tear running down her face. “I didn’t want any of this to happen.”

“Your brother is a product of your father without the perspective of wisdom or love.” Her mother opined.

Olivia’s father returned an hour later. It was clear his temper was still flaring as he returned to the house and made for the drinks cabinet before speaking to anyone. James Dalton drew himself a measure of whiskey which he downed in a single gulp before refilling his glass and slumping down into the armchair.

The mood in the room was tense. Olivia was angry and hurt by what had happened. She knew her brother didn’t understand or seem to want to, but she never expected him to get violent.

Richard was being overly protective and her mother had suggested she go to the hospital to check her over but Olivia had refused. She didn’t want or need the fuss. The day had gone so well until that point. She’d finally connected with her father, a task she had expected to be insurmountable only for it to be ruined at the last minute by her own brother.

“What are we going to do with him?” Evelyn asked her husband. “He hit her so hard she blacked out… that’s inexcusable.”

“I’m aware.” Her father muttered tersely, sipping his drink.

“Just leave it,” Olivia interjected flatly. “I don’t want to make this a big deal. Maybe he’ll come around in time, or maybe he won’t, but I won’t lose sleep over it. I have you guys and I have Sarah, that’s more than I ever hoped for. It would be unrealistic to expect it to be perfect.”

“Honey, what he did was wrong. He hit you and he attacked Richard and me. He’s gone beyond what’s acceptable behavior even if he disagrees with you. This is a family, not a damn bar.” her father countered. “I had a conversation with him, he’s under no illusions that if he can’t be civil, he is not to come around here.”

Olivia was under no illusion of what kind of conversation had taken place. It was James Dalton’s way or the highway. Nobody crossed her father and expected to leave with their teeth intact. She felt sorry for Mark in a way. His own prejudice was going to land him in hot water and he was the type to not notice he was boiling.

“I just feel like I caused all of this… if it hadn’t been for me, he’d be fine.”

Her mother stroked her hair and hugged her. “Never blame yourself, sweetie. This isn’t ever your fault. We love you and you’re always welcome in this home, it’s yours too”

Olivia hugged her mother and felt her eyes wet. “I know Mom. You don’t know how good it feels to be your daughter at least.”

“He’s not going to give her any more trouble is he, sir?” Richard directed his question to Olivia’s father.

James Dalton shook his head. “Not if he likes breathing.”

“Let's give the boys some time shall we?” Olivia’s mother announced standing. “Come on.”

Olivia looked a little uncertain but followed her mother as she led her up to the second floor of the house.

“Where are we going?”

“To our bedroom.” Her mother replied not looking back.

“Why…?” Olivia asked, growing paranoid.

“We’re going to have a long overdue chat.”

Oh, great, birds and bees… Olivia thought. Exactly what she, a sexually active twenty-four-year-old, needed to hear from her mother. Evelyn led her daughter into the master bedroom she shared with her father and sat down on the bed before patting a spot beside her for Olivia to sit.

“Honey,” Evelyn began, a twinkle in her eye. “I realize you’re currently equipped a little differently to other girls, but at the same time we do need a little chat, especially about boys.”

Olivia cringed, “Mooooom. I’ve had sex, I’m not exactly a kid.”

“I’m… well aware.” her mother continued attempting to keep a straight face. “But as a girl, there is still so much to teach you. You’re my child and it’s my duty to ensure you’re prepared for the world, however much you might think you don’t need it.”

The next hour of Olivia’s life was one of the most embarrassing experiences of her life as her mother enlightened her about many things she had not been aware of growing up as she had. Whether she wanted to or not, Olivia’s feminine knowledge base had dramatically expanded. Her red face aside, she was thankful to her mother for her education.

Evelyn got up and made her way to the dresser before opening her jewelry box. “One of the reasons I wanted to talk to you in private was to give you this.” She turned around holding a thin silver necklace with an engraved locket on the end.

“This,” Evelyn explained, “was your grandmother's. I gave Sarah her ring on her sixteenth birthday, I was going to give this to whichever of you kids had a daughter first but now, it is yours.”

She placed the locket in Olivia’s palm. The locket was intricately engraved with a floral pattern and the silver, while lightly tarnished with age, had been well taken care of. Opening the tiny clasp, Olivia found a photograph of her mother and father; they appeared to be in their twenties.

“This is beautiful Mom, are you sure?”

Her mother nodded as she took the locket from her hands and fastened it around her neck. “This is to be passed down to you from me, and when you have a daughter, you’ll pass it down to her.”

Olivia fought back an urge to cry. “I’ll never have children.”

Evelyn embraced her daughter and stroked her hair. “You will one day darling. They might not be your blood, but they’ll be your children. It will make no difference in your heart.”

“It does to me Mom, I just wish I was normal.”

Evelyn turned Olivia’s head to look into her eyes. “Darling, you’re perfect the way you are.”

The week had seemed like an incredibly long time when she arrived but it ended far sooner than Olivia wished. She found herself back at Bozeman International with Richard that Friday afternoon with her parents and sister in the departure hall. The mood was melancholic, it made a change from her arrival just seven days earlier.

“I’m going to miss you guys.” Olivia hugged her mother and father.

“You are going to call us all the time now you don’t hate us all, right?” Sarah chided with a grin.

Olivia nodded and smiled. “I’ve got a lot to face when I get back to the city, but I will. I’ll be home as soon as I can get time, and I will call,” she promised.

Olivia’s father shook Richard’s hand warmly. He’d grown to like and respect the man that had captured his newfound daughter’s heart. Richard was a confident, kind, and intelligent man with principles; James respected that.

“Take care of my girl.” He stated firmly, locking eyes with the attorney.

“You have my word, Mister Dalton,” Richard replied, taking his hand. “She’s very special.”

“Oh I know,” James agreed. “I’m beginning to regret that.”

After their final farewells, the couple boarded their flight back to Los Angeles. The mood on their return was far more somber than Olivia would have liked. For the first time in her life, she felt as though she was leaving something behind that she would miss. No longer was Montana just the place she was from, it was her home once again. Her heart would yearn for its mountains and its valleys in a way she hadn’t before. The people, her family, and everything about that wild place. She snuggled into Richard’s shoulder in the seat next to her and sighed. Life had a funny way of proving her wrong at every step of the way.

She felt a paradigm shift in herself as they cruised south over the Rockies. No longer was she living a dual life, split between who she was and who she wanted to be. The weight that her past had placed on her mind had changed and become a buoyant raft lifting her out of troubled waters. Olivia Evelyn Dalton felt like a whole person for the first time in her life. She knew now that no matter what the future threw at her, she would take it on with her head held high and the people that mattered most in the world by her side.

Her brother still brought sadness to her heart. She knew expecting perfection and acceptance was more than she could have asked for, but she wished he could have had more time to try. Mark had always been headstrong and independent. Her mother had been right, he was a lot like her father. It still amazed her that the gruff and macho rancher had been able to truly see her.

Their flight landed back in LA after eight that evening and they caught a cab back to their apartment. Olivia wasn’t sure when she’d begun to consider the place her home. She mentioned this fact to Richard who simply shrugged and told her that there was little point keeping her place anymore, he had no plans of kicking her out. This earned him a playful slap on the behind.

Neither of them had the energy to cook or go out for dinner, so they ordered takeout. While they waited for it to arrive, Olivia excused herself to change into something more comfortable. Stripping out of her jeans and shirt, Olivia examined herself in the bathroom mirror. The last few months had changed her body significantly. Standing in the bathroom in her underwear, she felt finally comfortable in herself. Her hair had descended to her neck in the time she had been recovering, now pushed back behind her ears. Her breasts had grown to a large A cup and she felt comfortable without the forms she had worn before her trip. Her waist had narrowed and her hips and thighs had begun to fill out nicely. She was so far removed from that gawky boy.

Who was the girl in the mirror? She was a cop, a rancher’s daughter, a sister, a girlfriend, and most of all, she was happy. Olivia thought about all of those descriptions for a moment. They described what she was, but not who. Who was she? She wasn’t entirely sure yet, but she knew that she would finally be able to find out. Olivia waved to her reflection and grinned as she saw Richard slide up behind her in the mirror.

“Hey,” she purred.

Richard wrapped his arms around her midriff and kissed her neck. “Are we gaining a sense of vanity?”

Olivia shrugged at his reflection and smiled. “Maybe a little.”

“Well not that I mind, but you might want to consider putting some clothes on, dinner’s here.”

Olivia turned in his arms and gave him a wicked grin before grabbing his butt and running off cackling to find herself some clothes.

“How was your trip?” Doctor Barton asked when Olivia arrived for her first session since her return from Montana.

“It was far better than I could have hoped,” she admitted, smiling. “The idea of facing them felt so insurmountable but with the exception of my brother, It went really well. My dad took some convincing, but he came around in the end. I think they saw how happy I was and how well this suited me. A lot of it was regret for how they handled things when I was growing up.”

Barton raised her eyebrow. “How so?”

“It was my mom first that really said it,” Olivia explained. “They had good intentions I guess. By the time they realized it wasn’t working and it was hurting me, I’d shut them out and didn’t want to engage anymore… I locked down and defended myself till I could get out.”

“You’re defending their actions because they accepted you?” The doctor countered deftly.

Olivia thought for a moment and shook her head. “No, no I’m not. They have a lot to make up for but I think my own experiences made me realize that before they are my parents, they are a man and woman. Nobody is perfect or holds all the answers to life. It would be naive of me to blame them with intent when none is expressed. Both have told me they are sorry for what they saw as a mistake and what their intent had been. My parents are a little old school, what worked for my brother just didn’t work for me. But that was because I wasn’t the son they or I thought. So no, my forgiveness isn’t contingent on their acceptance of me. I will never forget it… but I can forgive.”

Doctor Barton smiled and nodded. “A measured and reasonable interpretation. I think that shows maturity beyond your age and situation. I was hoping you weren’t going to blindly forgive in exchange for acceptance.”

Olivia looked distant for a moment and she glanced out the large picture window towards the ocean. “When I first got there, I wasn’t sure what I was going to do or say. Over time, and after speaking with them, I began to realize that they were trying in their own way to help. It was extremely poorly honestly, that much is true. Given my own later realizations.” she laughed plucking at her knee-length floral skirt. “I think that played a large part in how I received it. It was like giving a cellist the sheet music for the percussion section.”

Olivia screwed up her face and looked horrified. “I think Richard’s musical taste is rubbing off on me.”

Doctor Barton chuckled. “Not an awful thing at least and an excellent metaphor. How are things with you two?”

Olivia described her relationship with Richard to the psychiatrist. She told her how much she loved the man and how she felt when she was around him, how he had stood by her throughout her recovery and her homecoming. It made her realize just how serious things had gotten between them.

“This may be a little personal,” the doctor began hesitantly, but I’d like to speak about your sexual interactions with this gentleman. If you’re willing of course?”

Olivia frowned, “How so?”

“How for example did he feel when your sexual relationship changed from that of two men to a man and a woman?”

Olivia felt a little sheepish. “Other than a little kissing, It didn’t. I was always a woman with Richard from almost our second date onward. In the more intimate regard, ours has always been that of a man and a woman.”

Marie Barton raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Olivia nodded shyly. “We didn’t plan to do anything that first night he came back to my place, and he wanted to see who I performed as; Mia. We got caught up in the moment and one thing led to another.”

“You were sexually active as a male before this?”

Olivia nodded slightly, her face flushing.

“That embarrasses you? Why?”

She frowned, “I guess in hindsight it feels wrong. It was like it was someone else.” She sighed and brushed her hair out of her eyes. “With Richard, it feels so right. I know I’m still equipped the same way as I was before and I do want to correct that when I’m able to. It feels natural now; as though this is how it was meant to be. It’s not that being gay was wrong, god no. It was a role I never felt comfortable in I suppose. Perhaps I assumed it would get easier, more normal, I was inexperienced and questioning myself. I’m not embarrassed, I’m just… I feel there’s a difference in how I respond to him than I do to anyone else. Being a woman with a man feels normal for me, being a boy didn’t. I can be myself in my most intimate moment.”

Doctor Barton made some notes on her pad and took off her glasses.

“Olivia, you’ve no need to be embarrassed. There is a difference and those roles can change, and we can all feel comfortable playing different parts. We all relate differently and I suspect in part your discomfort is the dysphoria you feel about the male role, even a submissive one.”

Olivia shrugged but paused for a moment before speaking. “How does that explain… ah, When we were in Bozeman at our hotel, we slept together and I initiated sex and I was the dominant one. I took charge of our lovemaking, I was on top.” she flushed scarlet at her admission. “What does that make me?”

Doctor Barton laughed. “Well firstly, you said it yourself; You were on top, not the top. A position doesn’t change anything. That makes you a woman that knows what she wants.” she smiled sympathetically. “I know it’s all new to you, but your sex and how you enjoy sex aren’t connected and don’t need to be. We all have our moments where we want to be taken and when we want to take charge. If anything, this means you’re more comfortable in who you are, that you’re more able to be expressive in an intimate moment.”

Olivia considered this. “I do feel more expressive. I feel more at home in my skin. Every time I look in the mirror I like what I see more and more.”

Barton smiled warmly. “I’m glad, that’s very normal and I’m pleased to say you seem to be responding well; you’ve stopped using the forms I see?”

“I have, I guess I don’t feel like I need them to validate me anymore.” Olivia shrugged. “It’s not much, but it’s all me.”

“It’s a big step, you’ve come a long way in a short time.”

“I’ve had help.” Olivia replied happily.

“One final topic I’d like to cover today is your incident if you’re willing?” Doctor Barton shifted her tone seamlessly.

Olivia nodded. She’d known that she would want to talk eventually. They’d brought it up in a previous meeting but she hadn’t delved too deeply. Olivia nodded. She felt ready to confront what had happened.

“Tell me how you felt when it happened.” Doctor Barton began gently.

Olivia began to explain the incident at the liquor store to the psychiatrist as best she could. Every detail was scored into her mind. Even after several months, she saw it as clear as day. She remembered the gun, the look on the clerk’s face, and the decision to tackle the man to the ground that landed her in the position she was in today. She remembered how time seemed to stretch as she fought the man for the weapon and the searing pain and shock she felt as the bullets hit her. By the time she had finished describing what she remembered as she looked up into Anderson’s face as she lay bleeding, she realized she had been crying.

“Sorry.” She mumbled, wiping her eyes with a tissue. “It brought back a lot.”

Doctor Barton allowed her to collect herself before continuing. “Have there been any nightmares?”

Olivia shifted uncomfortably in her chair as she thought back. “Only a really bad one while I was in the hospital right after it happened. I’ve had a few bad nights but nothing that I really remember.”

“Any strange reactions to anything or outbursts of temper?”

Olivia shook her head. “No, not yet”

Doctor Barton made some notes. “I would ask how you’re coping with the matter of losing your manhood, but I would suspect that’s not really a problem here… check.”

Olivia smiled sardonically, “Yeah I think that was a positive column not a negative. I can quite safely say that on reflection it is no loss. I briefly felt concerned over not being able to pass on my genetics but realized I had no desire to do so… not like that at least. I’d never be able to be a mother genetically anyway.”

“Your mobility has returned,” Barton noted, “Rehab has been successful for you?”

She nodded. “Yes, I’m seeing a doctor about my physical signoff next week with a view to returning to work pending your assessment.”

“I think I can sign you off as a well-adjusted young woman with a reasonable response to her situation given the additional context. You are going to continue seeing me anyway, so we can touch on anything that crops up if we need to.”

Olivia pulled her stetson down over her eyes. The sun was blazing down as she relaxed on her towel allowing the heat to warm her body. The surf had been good that morning and they’d ridden the waves for a couple of lazy hours. She was becoming more used to surfing as her body changed. Without the weight of her forms, her center of gravity was still off, but it was within a more manageable range and she found she was able to adapt far quicker to the new changes to her physique. Surfing had long been a solitary escape from city life, but now it was something she shared with Richard and it made her love it even more.

Richard rolled his eyes as he walked up to their little camp above the tide line. “I can’t believe you’re still wearing that thing, it really doesn’t fit the vibe.”

“I’m proud of my heritage.” Olivia protested. “And It’s a good sun hat.”

Richard dug his board into the soft sand and grabbed a bottle of water from the cooler they’d left by their towels. “Yeah, but it’s not exactly surfer attire.”

“It would be if we had beaches in Montana.”

Olivia screamed as half of the water bottle hit her naked stomach.

“Asshole.” she growled toweling herself off. “I was really relaxed.”

“You were in the ocean ten minutes ago.” Richard chuckled as he sat down beside her on the sand.

Olivia glared at Richard for a moment before giggling, unable to maintain her serious expression. Richard smiled and drank the rest of his water.

“I love you,” she murmured softly as she reached up to stroke his cheek.

“I love you too.”

Richard leaned down and removed her hat and tossed it away before kissing her deeply. Olivia felt her heart swell as their lips touched. She moaned and opened her mouth to accept his tongue. She felt his hand grasp her side softly, his thumb tracing little circles on her skin. Every sensation felt like liquid fire as she responded passionately to his advances. She felt his hand slide upward along her ribcage and cup her left breast through her bikini top before squeezing gently.

It took an almost superhuman effort to slap his hand away and push him off. She lay breathing heavily for a moment as she collected herself.

“We’re in public,” she groaned, feeling great disappointment. “Why couldn’t you get this horny later?”

Richard smirked. “I wouldn’t mind.”

“Last thing I need is to get arrested for public indecency before I get back to work.” she protested.

Richard looked like he remembered something suddenly. “Oh, you’re free Friday right?”

“I’m washing my hair,” Olivia shrugged nonchalantly, running her hand through her damp locks.

Richard rolled his eyes and ignored her play. “No, I have a little thing at city hall, black tie.”

Olivia frowned, “And you’re only giving me a week’s notice?”

“Sure, that’s plenty of time.” Richard shrugged, failing to see the problem.

“There is so little you know about women.” Olivia shook her head. “Fine, but you’re buying me a dress.”

Richard looked pained as he realized what he had set himself up for. “This is going to cost me big isn’t it?”

Olivia smiled slyly. Richard recognized that look. He’d seen it on sharks at the Aquarium.

Richard was indeed correct, it cost him a great deal. The next day, Olivia dragged him shopping and she didn’t hold back. After several hours of shopping in the Rodeo boutiques, she finally settled on a stunning A-line evening gown with a ruched bodice, half sleeves, and a silk skirt in a royal blue that offset her coloring. The dress was off the shoulder and nipped at the waist to emphasize her slim figure. She insisted on a pair of Milano pumps in a matching blue and a satin clutch to complete her outfit. Richard’s protests over the cost for the purposes of a single event were promptly shot down as Olivia made her case like a seasoned attorney.

She countered that the event would be not only their first major social engagement as a couple, but that it was he, in fact, who would benefit from her making a good impression. Given that the event would be attended by politicians and legal professionals from across the state, they needed to appear as though they belonged in such a world.

Richard gave up when she pointed out that he was simply going to pull his tux out of the wardrobe and possibly shave, she was going to go through far more to look perfect for him and it was entirely his fault she had to rush.

Olivia had booked a salon appointment for earlier on the Friday afternoon of the event to ensure she was absolutely ready. Her hair now reached the nape of her neck and was in dire need of a style now that it was longer.

This was, she realized her first time getting dolled up to the nines since she last performed as Mia. That felt like a lifetime ago in a different universe to her mind. She knew what to do and she could have done a reasonable effort herself but she reasoned that she deserved a little pampering now. It was also evident to her that most of her more dramatic looks were designed for the stage, feminine or not. A swanky party deserved a swanky Olivia.

As much as she played the role of the Prima Donna, she made sure Richard knew she wasn’t deliberately milking him. She cared far too much about the man to spend his money recklessly. Once she had won the argument she had explained more sensitively that it was in no small part her own nerves that made her feel as though she had to be the perfect girl for him. She wanted to make sure she didn’t embarrass him or show him up in front of his friends. This was a new world for her and she felt a pang of self-consciousness at the idea of moving in these social circles.

Richard had understood, he always understood she realized. She needed to feel beautiful and she deserved the best. He made certain she knew he didn’t care if she wore a designer gown or a potato sack, to him she was the most beautiful woman in the world.

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