Life and Love are far more complicated than we can possibly understand. For one young cop, a journey of self-discovery will teach them that true strength was inside them all along.

Going forward Driftwood will be posted in two chapter packages to let the story flow a bit better, one at a time worked, but now... it feels better this way. Enjoy!

The next morning Olivia was focusing on walking around the apartment when she heard the doorbell. Hobbling over to the door, she checked to see who was there. A slim, brunette woman that looked vaguely familiar was standing there smiling. It took Olivia a moment to recognize Deputy Taylor out of uniform.

Opening the door, she smiled curiously. “Hey, ah, hi?”

Taylor smiled. “Kelly told me where you lived, I figured after everything that happened I’d give you some space, but I wanted to check in and see how you were doing?”

Olivia gestured for her to come in before hobbling back over to the sofa and plopping down in her regular spot. “I was going to call.” she admitted, “I got a little occupied.”

Taylor sat down beside her and nodded. “Yeah I noticed.” she chuckled with a wrinkle of her nose. “Not doing things by halves, huh?”

Olivia smiled. “Yeah, It’s been pretty rough, I can’t lie; but it’s really changed a lot of things for me.”

Taylor regarded Olivia’s appearance and grinned. “Yeah, I get the impression the guy that got shot that day isn’t coming back is he?”

Olivia shook her head without reservation. “He’s not.”

The woman inclined her head and put her hand on Olivia’s arm, “Want to tell me about that?”

Over the next few hours, Olivia explained everything to Abigail Taylor. She spared no detail in her story and the woman listened with rapt interest. The two talked about their lives and their interests, their hopes and dreams. Abigail was more like her than she realized. The girl was originally from a small, rural town in Central California called Morro Bay and she regaled Olivia with tales of her small town High School even revealing her past as a varsity cheerleader, a fact on which she swore Olivia to secrecy.

Olivia told Abigail all about her childhood in the wilds of Montana and the difficulties she faced there. It turned out their rural pasts were surprisingly similar, something she hadn’t expected to find in the urban metropolis of LA. By the time they parted ways, Olivia felt she’d found a true friend.

As Abigail was leaving, she turned to Olivia one final time, wrapping her in a warm embrace. “You know, you’re like the kid sister I never had.” she admitted with a smile. “From another mother and state entirely.”

Olivia grinned, “Anyone that drives a pickup and earned the right to wear cowboy boots is good by me.”

Abigail smirked and then took on a more serious expression. “Hey, look, make sure you talk to the boss directly about this topic, she’s surprisingly accepting.”

“Really? Like right to her?”

Abigail nodded, “I mean she knows you by name, she visited you in the hospital. You’ve got an in and she’s the one that can make things happen if you need her to.”

Olivia seemed uncertain. “I’ll think about it, but it’s all a bit scary at the moment.”

“Sooner the better, you don’t want this crap hanging over you till you find yourself coming back to work and having to drop it on them.”

“I guess,” Olivia admitted. “Would you come with me?”

“You bet.” Taylor smiled. “

Over the next month, Olivia began to notice more changes. Her skin was starting to feel softer and some of her sharper edges were beginning to smooth out. Her face appeared softer and her emotions, so tumultuous to start with, were beginning to find a new balancing point. She had begun to notice that her nipples were becoming extremely sensitive and itchy. The changes filled her with more joy than she realized, she was on the cusp of womanhood and rather than fear, she felt hope for the first time.

She continued her sessions with Doctor Barton and the lady had formalized her initial diagnosis; Olivia was transgendered. By the point she reached her conclusion, Olivia had already reached her own and become more comfortable with the idea. This was her future and she would need to start preparing for it to leave the shadows.

Her physical recovery was proceeding well and while her physical therapy was exhausting, she was more capable than she had been. She was able to leave the apartment alone with only mild discomfort and a limp as long as she used her crutches.

She knew she would need to change her name, that was now a necessity. Harry Dalton had died that day on the grimy sidewalk. She hadn’t realized it at the time, but what happened to her had been the wake-up she had needed to understand herself.

She had already broached the subject with Doctor Barton and the woman had explained the necessary steps to take to begin the process. With Richard’s help, she had a court date and a plan of action coming up. This was why she found herself outside of the Sheriff’s Department headquarters with a knot in her stomach.

Olivia had dressed as a boy for her meeting with the Sheriff. She knew the bridge would have to be crossed at some point but her first time returning was not the right time. She’d begun to notice the changes happening to her and was positive that her opportunity to handle this return before questions were asked was running out faster than she would like.

Steeling herself, she made her way up the steps to the entrance and approached the front door. A pair of deputies leaving saw her approach on the crutches and held the doors open. She didn’t know them and wasn’t in uniform but they likely noticed the badge around her neck.

The pair nodded a greeting and went on their way while Olivia entered the building. Her journey to the top floor and the command offices took far longer than she had expected. Deputies and support staff she’d barely spoken to all wanted to shake her hand and ask about her recovery. She didn’t realize that many people knew what had happened to her. She lost track of how many times she had to explain her ordeal but left out one notable detail of the injuries she had sustained. The level of friendliness and camaraderie from her colleagues was a new experience for her. It was depressing that she had to nearly die to earn it.

Eventually, she managed to successfully navigate the throngs of well-wishers and found herself in the corridor outside the Sheriff’s office on the top floor of the building while administrative staff bustled around her. Taylor was waiting outside when she arrived. She greeted the woman with a smile.

“Different look for you.” Taylor smirked. “Not much different, but still.”

Olivia rolled her eyes, “I mean I can’t exactly surprise them can I? It won’t be long before doing this is kinda difficult.”

The older Deputy chuckled.

Olivia reflected on what she was going to say to her boss. She knew what she wanted to cover, but she had no idea how she was going to bring the subject up. She was prepared to leave the job and move on, but she hoped that wouldn’t be necessary.

Her thoughts were interrupted by the sound of running feet on the carpet tile floor. Anderson rounded the corner and nearly collided with a clerk laden with paperwork. She ignored the man’s hateful expression and made for Olivia.

“I’m glad I caught you, I heard you were in the building.” she panted, glancing between Dalton and Taylor with curiosity. “What’s going on?”

“Seeing the Sheriff. It’s just some procedural and paperwork stuff with me coming back.” Olivia explained.

Anderson looked momentarily confused before her eyes went wide with realization. “You want me in there with you?”

Olivia glanced at Taylor and grimaced. “More the merrier I guess.”

“The Sheriff will see you now.” an executive assistant interjected.

Kelly and Abigail helped Olivia stand and followed her into the office. Sheriff Reilly was behind her desk typing at her keyboard, her eyes fixed on the monitor. Olivia had never seen her wear glasses before.

Reilly looked up as they entered. “Dalton, It’s wonderful to see you on your feet, you’re recovering well?”

Olivia stood to attention as best the crutches would allow. “Yes, Ma’am. It’s slow but it’s getting there, I expect about three to four months.”

Reilly nodded and glanced at Kelly. “Taylor, Anderson, why are you here?”

“Support, Ma’am.” The pair answered.

She looked back at Olivia before eying Anderson again. The Sheriff smelled a rat.

“Ok you three, what’s going on? And for god’s sake sit down Dalton, you don’t need to stand there.”

Olivia took the time to seat herself in one of the chairs in front of the Sheriff’s desk. She could sense the others hovering protectively over her shoulder.

Olivia swallowed and decided to get things over with. She was done waiting and it would go right or it wouldn’t, she didn’t care.

“When I was shot Ma’am, I was hit six times. It broke my leg, cut my femoral artery, and most significantly damaged my genitalia. I was left unable to produce hormones naturally.”

She noticed the Sheriff’s mildly annoyed expression shift to one of concern. “No babies, no hormones, no more function really. I was offered replacement therapy to continue a normal life which would allow me to heal and have a sex life, but it would come at a price I wasn’t willing to pay. This incident placed me at a decision-making point for something I’ve been dealing with for some time in private: I’m transgender.”

Reilly’s eyebrows moved, but nowhere near as far as she expected.

“To permit my body’s normal function and allow me to heal properly, I had to be started on hormone therapy, and I wasn’t prepared for that to be testosterone. I’m seeing a psychiatrist and I’m…” she paused to gather her emotions. “I’m leaving Harry behind to exist as me, the real me.”
The Sheriff was silent for a moment. She looked back and forth between Dalton and Anderson and nodded.

“Now I see why you wanted some moral support, Dalton. This must be difficult for you to discuss. Allow for my ignorance, how is this going to impact your return to the job?”

Olivia couldn’t look the woman in the eyes. “I was hoping that you might see fit to allow me to keep my job and come back to work as… well, me.”

The Sheriff stood and walked around to the front of her desk before leaning against it.

“What happened to you was awful and I wouldn’t wish that on anyone. Are you sure this isn’t a result of losing some perception of manhood?”

Olivia shook her head. “This was something I was wrestling with before that happened, Ma’am, for a long time. This situation forced me to address my own feelings.”

The Sheriff nodded and her expression softened.

“If I may, Sheriff?” Taylor asked politely.

Reilly glanced at her and nodded.

“I first met her by accident, she had a tail light out and I had no idea till I saw her ID. It turned out she was partnered with my old boot Anderson, so after the shooting, I visited her at home. We got to know each other pretty well, I can honestly say she is deadly serious about what she’s saying. On top of that, she looks ridiculous dressed as a guy.”

“She?” The Sheriff raised an eyebrow at Taylor’s choice of pronouns.

Taylor nodded.

The Sheriff pursed her lips and nodded curtly. “I trust your judgment on character, Taylor. You know that and I wasn’t going to say no. I’m just surprised at your choice of words given their appearance.”

“Ma’am, I can’t actually see her any other way even now.” Taylor shrugged.

Reilly studied Dalton for a moment, her eyes regarding the sweatpants and loose hooded sweatshirt Olivia was wearing.

The Sheriff shook her head and smiled. “Maybe you have a point, Taylor.”

She stood and walked over to the window before continuing. “Fair enough then, I’ll approve the change. You’ve got my official support and that of command. I won’t pretend it’s going to be an easy road for you or that you won’t experience any issues. I like to think I helped to craft this department into a progressive example of Modern Law Enforcement. It might be the twenty-twenties and society has progressed a great deal. A lot of prejudices are hard to quash, especially in a masculine environment such as this.”

She looked at Olivia. “You’ll face discrimination and I’m sorry for that. Both as a woman and because of how you got there. I work hard to try and end that sort of crap but it’s like fighting to hold back the tide with a bucket.”

Olivia nodded. “I’m prepared for that, Ma’am. I spent my childhood dealing with people that didn’t like me for who I was.”

The Sheriff regarded her for a moment. “I can see why, no offense.”

Olivia shrugged. “I can’t say it’s not an advantage now.”

Riley smiled. “Quite so,” she agreed, returning to her desk. “You’re taking care of things legally, I assume?”

“I have a court date set for my name change and other formalities, Ma’am,”

The Sheriff nodded. “Send those through to Personnel once you get them, but I’ll have them change your records now. You may be on leave for recovery, but you still hold a badge and a gun and I won’t have you getting into trouble because of this. I’ll need your new name and a promise.”

“Ma’am?”

“Tone down your look from the stage please.”

Olivia gawked. “You knew about that?”

“I’ve seen you perform twice, I never knew it was you till quite recently. Miss Russo keeps trying to turn me to the dark side.”

Olivia felt herself turn bright red. “No,” she stumbled, “I mean of course not, Ma’am. That’s not really me, I mean that’s a character.”

Reilly held up her hand. “I know, I just want you to smile for once in this meeting, Dalton. Lord knows you’ve had a rough go of it. I want you to know we have your back.”

“I appreciate that Ma’am, and thank you. And it’s Olivia Evelyn Dalton.”

“Olivia Dalton,” the Sheriff noted on a pad. “Wonderful. Now get out of here and get yourself healed, I’ll expect full compliance with the female dress code on your return, Deputy.”

Anderson and Taylor helped Olivia to her feet and followed her out into the hallway. Once they were safely out of earshot of the administration staff, Kelly turned and hugged her partner.

“Congratulations girly. One step closer.”

Olivia let out a sigh she’d been holding. “That’s it then, I’m dumping this for good.” she grimaced, plucking at her hoodie.

“Hate to break it to you dear, but you haven’t really looked like a guy in a while.”

“Nobody said anything today.”

“Men won’t notice anything unless you slap them in the face with it.” Abigail smirked.

“Duh, all they see is the crutches and the limp.” Kelly added

“Well I want my boobs back till they’re permanent.” Olivia muttered.

Kelly laughed as they walked out into the parking lot. “Trust me, I wish I could take mine off sometimes.”

Olivia lay curled up in bed beside Richard later that evening. His soft, rhythmic breathing soothed her spirit. He was the first man she had ever slept beside without first having sex. They had gone to bed because that’s what couples do; to sleep. She hadn’t simply slept beside someone since she was little and she’d forgotten how comforting it was. Glancing at the clock told her it was just after one in the morning. Since her injury, she found herself waking up at strange hours but rarely felt like getting up. Lying beside her man while he slept felt magical.

As she thought back over her journey so far, she was still surprised to find herself here. For so long, her life had been a grueling experience where every day was an exercise in avoiding getting her ass kicked. She had family, but it wasn’t like other people. They loved her because she was blood, but not because they liked her. She never overtly told them about her sexuality but they seemed to know regardless.

Disappointed was probably the best word she could use to describe how they felt. When she came home with black eyes or bruises, they never commented and the only advice she received when she complained was that she should learn to stand up to them; to help herself.

They were right, she realized, only helping herself probably hadn’t turned out the way they might have expected.

Olivia rolled over slowly and snuggled up to Richard’s back. She felt a slight pressure as the small mounds behind her nipples pressed into his back through her nightdress. The girl smiled to herself in the darkness.

Her day in court came and went a week later with little fanfare. Richard had asked one of his colleagues to represent her in the simple hearing as his relationship prevented him from doing so himself. In a state such as California, the process was formal but trivial. She had the paperwork she needed and the judge handled the proceedings efficiently. An hour later, Olivia left the courthouse officially Olivia Evelyn Dalton, a female in the eyes of the law.

Weeks turned into months as Olivia began to heal more rapidly. She had stopped taking pain medication entirely and her Physical Therapy sessions had turned into strength-building exercises as her crutches became a thing of the past. She’d long ago given up attending the sessions as Harry.

The changes to her body had become more dramatic as time passed. Her skin was far softer and her breasts had started to properly develop, much to her excitement. The repeated and unrelenting PT sessions had helped her body to recycle its fat stores and she felt her hips and buttocks broadening as her waist narrowed. Her wig had been cast aside as her own hair had grown long enough to be styled in a feminine manner. Relatively adept with hair styling from her wig collection, she had managed somewhat awkwardly to give herself a haircut and now sported a cute shaggy pixie style that accentuated her fine features. She wasn’t quite ready to face a salon full of women yet.

Her relationship with Richard had begun to resume its physicality as the pain faded and her strength returned. Richard was a cautious and caring lover that took great care in ensuring she was comfortable and not over-exerting herself. The changes her body had experienced gave sex an entirely new meaning for Olivia; it had become a whole-body experience that she greatly enjoyed.

The couple lay naked in bed basking in the afterglow of their love. Richard’s fingers were lazily tracing the edge of Olivia’s nipple as he caught his breath.

Olivia rolled over to face him on the pillow.

“I love you.” she whispered, her fingers dancing through the hair on his broad chest.

“I love you too.” he replied with a lazy, tired smile.

“I hope I can be enough for you.” Olivia said softly as she felt a pang of doubt in her heart, “I feel so awful that you’ve had to deal with all of this mess”

Richard looked hurt. “Never say that honey. You’re never a burden and I couldn’t imagine my life without you”

“I can’t give you children.” she sighed, a tear rolling down her cheek. “You deserve more than my fucked up mess in your life.”

Richard pulled her into his arms, her back against his chest. “I don’t care,” he whispered, kissing her hair. “I nearly lost you once, and I don’t ever want to again. Whatever I face in life, I want to do it with you.”

Olivia looked up at Richard, their bodies pressed together.

“I think for the first time in my life, I’m actually happy.”

Richard squeezed her, “I always went through life looking for the next experience, the next person to spend time with. I never realized that it was a void I was trying to fill with shallow human connection. I see so much damage at work it began to affect me. We started to get more serious than I ever have with anyone before. When I nearly lost you, It cut me to my core far more than I was prepared to understand. Seeing you go through that and battle your own demons at the same time makes me want to just hold you and keep you safe.”

Richard rested his chin on the top of Olivia’s head and sat quietly for a moment before he spoke again. “It sounds so cliche, but it’s like I found a missing part of myself when I fell in love with you. You complete me.”

Olivia was leaving the hospital after a checkup and PT appointment when her phone rang. The number on the screen stopped her dead in her tracks.

Mom.

Olivia hadn’t spoken to her mother more than a handful of times in the past six years. She could always tell the woman was disappointed in her and felt the strain over the phone line each time.

Steeling herself, she dropped her pitch slightly into Harry’s vocal range and answered.

“Hello?”

“Harry, are you ok?” His mother sounded worried.

“Sure,” she lied, “How are…”

“Harry, I know what happened. Why didn’t you call us?”

Olivia was starting to panic. She moved away from the busy entrance and found a quiet bench to continue the conversation. “What do you mean, Mom?”

“One of your father’s friends was visiting LA and he saw an article in the newspaper about a Sheriff’s Deputy shot in a robbery, it had your photograph and name.”

Olivia swallowed, she hadn’t told them. She didn’t think they’d care.

“I’m ok, it wasn’t bad,” she lied. “It was a few months ago, I didn’t want to bother you.”

Her mother’s tone shifted to one of sadness. “No baby, you were shot six times.”

Tears welled in her eyes and she tried to keep her voice level. “I didn’t think you’d care,” she muttered.

There was silence on the phone for a moment. “I know you hate us, but I was so worried when I heard, I had to call, I needed to see if you were ok. I’ve missed you.”

Olivia sobbed. “I don’t hate you, I… miss you all but I know I’m not welcome.”

“You’re always welcome, we… we just didn’t know how to help you. By the time we thought we knew how to, you’d grown distant. Then you left.”

“I had to get out of there. I felt like I was alone, it hurt Mom.”

She could hear her mother crying on the other end of the phone. “Please, I want to see you.”

Olivia felt a pang of fear. “I’m fine Mom, it’s ok.”

“No baby, it’s been too long. I won’t lie, your father and I made mistakes, and I want to try to fix them if you’ll let me. The fact that my own child got shot and nearly died, and didn’t tell me means I screwed up as a parent.”

Olivia was silent.

“Say something please.”

“Are you sure?”

“Harry, you’re my child. I wasn’t the best mother and I tried to make choices that I thought would help you grow strong. I thought I was preparing my sweet baby boy to face the adversity of life. You were always so gentle and caring, the world was going to eat you alive… I thought I was helping.” she sniffed.

“I’m not the same person that left home Mom.” Olivia replied vaguely. “I’ve changed a lot.”

That was the biggest understatement of the century, she thought.

“That’s ok, we all need to.” her mother answered softly.

Olivia thought for a moment. No matter what she did, their meeting was going to be difficult. Should she explain now? Should she wait and arrive? Letting her mother come to her would be too much of a culture shock, she thought.

“I can come home if you’d like. I’ve still got some time off for my recovery?”

“Are you well enough to travel?”

“I am, I guess. I think I’d like to see the mountains again.”

“I’ll tell the others, they’ll be happy to see you.”

“We’ll see, I still have my doubts.”

Olivia glanced at her reflection in the smoked glass of the building beside her. Her hair was messy from her exercise and she was wearing a cropped tank top and yoga pants. She looked like any other young woman.

“Mom, I’ve really changed a lot.”

Her mother sniffed, “That you’re alive and willing to speak to me is enough, everything else doesn’t matter now.”

They continued to speak for a while until Olivia’s Uber arrived and she said her goodbyes. She didn’t know how she felt about the situation. For her entire life, she had decided her parents really didn’t want her. Like all children, she had thought her parents were mythical beings that achieved everything they intended and did no wrong. She blamed them because she saw their actions as intentional, not a mistake. Her mother admitting that she’d been wrong made her doubt her own feelings. Was there a chance they could understand?

Later that evening, Olivia explained the phone call to Richard. As she expected, he insisted on going with her no matter how much she protested. The idea of returning home at first terrified her. Home only held bad memories from her childhood but her phone call had begun to make her doubt herself. She knew she missed the place itself. Montana was unlike any other state in the country, it wasn’t somewhere you ever forgot.

A plan began to form for the coming week. She would fly out to Bozeman with Richard and they’d get a hotel room in town. Once she was there she would meet her mother somewhere public and make further plans depending on how the big reveal was received. It seemed the safest and most risk-free approach to face the situation. If things went wrong, they could leave and never look back. She imagined arriving at the family ranch in a sundress and heels and knocking on the door unannounced; that could end poorly.

She wasn’t sure how they would react to her new self. Life was bad enough when they thought she was gay. Technically she wasn’t anymore, did that count in her favor?

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