Driven from Normal .

Simon McKenzie started his week normal enough, but after a series of events he found himself standing in a bar wearing a cocktail dress and the weeks that followed didn't return to normal.

“WOW! You look A-Maz-Zing!”

I glanced up from my phone screen to see Dylan standing in the doorway of the salon. He had an odd look on his face, sort of the same as a wee kid would look seeing the presents under the tree on Christmas morning.

“Hey! What's up?” I asked.
Despite the other seats available, Dylan sat down beside me on the couch, still giving me the same weird look. He shook his head, “Unreal!.. I like your new haircut…” He moved his hand up to touch my wig but stopped himself.

“Ahhh, sorry!...it looks so real”... he adjusted himself in his seat and continued, “I thought you’d still be here. I was wondering if you still wanted a ride down to the field days tomorrow?” He asked.

“Umm yeah, I guess so. It's a long way for you to go though… Are you sure you want to drive all that way… I can just get a rental..”

“Nah, no way! I insist. It’ll be worth having a look around there anyway…” Dylan replied.

After confirming and reconfirming that he was actually okay with taking me the two hour drive down, we worked out a departure time and a bit of a plan for the next day, then after consulting the field days website we had everything under control. We would need to be on the road around Six-ish to be there for the gate opening at Eight thirty. Another early start…great!
I really should have thought about this when Dad’s offer was first suggested. I could have just flown back down for the weekend and avoided all of this extra drama. On the positive side, I had a spare gate pass for Dylan so he didn't need to pay to get in, not that I would have let him anyway. I had already agreed to cover the fuel costs after insisting it was the least I could do, and was also going to call into the supermarket for a few travelling snacks and supplies as well.

We were still discussing the finer points when Mel leaned around the corner with a confused look, “Ahh Dylan…” She looked at me, “I thought you’d lost the plot and were talking to yourself… What's happening with you two anyway?

“Just working out a plan for tomorrow… what are you doin’?” I asked her.

“I'm just about finished up here for the day, I just need to do a blow dry in a sec, and then clean up… What’s the plan tonight then?” She asked, raising her eyebrows at me and Dylan, we looked at each other for inspiration and shrugged when nothing revealed itself.
“Hopeless! Well, sort something by the time I’m done…” With that, she disappeared out the back again.

“Takeaways?” I suggested? Dylan nodded “Yeah! We could watch a movie or something…”

When Mel reappeared with her freshly blow dried and styled client, she escorted her out the front door after thanking her then dropped on the couch on the other side to Dylan, leaving me squeezed in the middle.

“So what are we doing tonight? Mel asked, she was looking at me and gently squeezing my knee, but was asking the both of us.

“Takeaways and a movie maybe?... I suggested.

“Cool!... Indian at my place?... definitely not your flat. It’s gross!” Mel said to Dylan, who then pretended to be shocked and taken back, before nodding and agreeing. “Yeah it is really, isn’t it?”

“And how do you know what the inside of his flat looks like?” I asked, maybe a little too blunt sounding.

“Jealous much?...” Mel laughed, “I dropped some stuff off to Kamyla last week and I can confirm it’s a typical gross boys flat. It would be hard to enjoy eating somewhere that smells like feet and farts…I don't know how she can stand staying there...”

“Yeah well, those smells are mostly from Liam…” Dylan quickly added.
“I wondered where they had been…” I said.

Dylan continued, “Rooting like rabbits, they only come up for air or to go to work…hardly seen either of them for days…”

Mel grinned “Ahhh, that’s sooo cool…Good for them!” she was sliding her hand further up my leg, pushing the hem of my dress up and revealing more of my upper thigh.

Dylan let out a long soft sigh, “Mmm, so I’ll get the food and meet you at your place?” he asked us both.

Mell still needed to clean up and lock the doors, I needed to go to the supermarket, so suggested Dylan and I both go together and get the takeaways and meet Mel back at the flat. We sorted out what meals everyone wanted and left Mel to finish up, Dylan knew a good Indian place so headed straight for there.

With the order placed, we had about thirty minutes free before it would be ready, the perfect amount of time to grab the road trip goodies.
The short distance to the supermarket took a bit longer with the building traffic but it wasn't too bad. A gentle breeze blew around my legs as we walked across the carpark towards the main doors of the supermarket, making me shiver slightly.

“Bit chilly?” Dylan asked with a concerned look on his face.

“Nah not too bad, there’s not much to the dress that’s all..” I replied, adjusting my handbag on my shoulder.

“I’ve got a jacket in the car… I’ll shoot back and grab it…” he offered.

“Nah I’m right, it’ll be warmer inside here anyway..”

Dylan grabbed a basket from the entrance and walked along beside me, “So what sort of stuff will we get?” I asked him
He shrugged “Buggered if I know, whatever you like I guess. You’re payin’…”

So with that helpful information on board, I shook my head and walked towards the snack aisle and started gazing at all of the options. “Dry roasted or salted peanuts? I asked Dylan.

Once again he shrugged, “Cool…. I’ll get these then!” I said, grabbing the dry roasted option, "You shoot over to the Deli and get some of those little mini salami snack things…”
Dylan gave me a salute then spun on his heel and walked off. I found a couple of other items and had them gathered up in my arms, “Drinks!” I blurted out to myself then walked a few isles over and was looking at the selection on sodas and energy drinks when I heard a family voice behind me,

“Well, hello again M’lady…. It seems the universe is trying to get us together…” I didn't need to look around to see who it was standing behind me, the unique laugh meant it was either the BFG or a wooden chair being dragged closer. I didn't want to be rude but I sighed, quite loud as I turned and faked a smile.

“Hi.... Again…Twice in one day… what are the odds…”

He looked down at the goods heaped in my arms and smiled, “Bit of a party tonight is there?”

“Nope, just dinner and a movie with friends…”

As I said that, a bag of chips escaped my grip and dropped to the floor, but before I even had a chance to react, his towering frame bent over and scooped them up, “..Not a bad chip these ones…” he placed them on top of the pile I was carrying then looked over my shoulder, “Ahhh. Yes. Can I help you?...” He said.

I turned to see Dylan behind me with a smirk on his face. He grabbed the pile from me and placed the items into the basket.
The expression on the BFG’s face had changed and he looked disappointed, “This the boyfriend is it?” he asked me.

“Umm, yeah. Yip! This is Dylan! My boyfriend…”

Without missing a beat, Dylan stretched his hand out and shook the BFG’s massive mitt, “Nice to meet ya!” Dylan said, then pulled his arm back and placed it over my bare shoulders, squeezing me in a hug.

The BFG’s face dropped slightly more, “I hope you know how lucky you are…” he said to Dylan.

“I sure do!...” Dylan replied, then gave me a kiss on the check. The BFG turned, grabbed his shopping trolley and walked away looking very much deflated.

“Mate of yours?” Dylan asked, holding back a laugh, and still holding my shoulder.

“Yeah we go way back…Lets get outta here…” I grabbed a six pack of Coke cans and we headed for the self service checkout.

As we finished packing the bags, Dylan grabbed them from me, “I’ll take those babe..” I looked at him with a WTF expression and he rolled his eyes towards the BFG, who had lined up beside us to unpack his trolley. “Thanks Hun..” I said.

As I started to walk off I felt Dylan gently place his spare hand in the middle of my lower back, I swung my handbag up and over my shoulder and gave Gregory a small wave goodbye. As I let my arm hang loose against my side, Dylan quickly grasped my hand and gave it a soft squeeze, accompanied with a wink.

“Cold again?” he asked, looking down at the goosebumps on my arms as we crossed the carparking area. “A wee bit, but I’m ok…” I lied, it wasn't the cool air I was reacting to.
He held my hand all the way back to his car, only letting it go to retrieve the keys from his pocket.

As we drove back to the Indian restaurant he looked over at me, “So.. what’s the go with Lurch?…How the hell do you know a weird critter like that?”
I burst out laughing, and told him about our encounter this morning with the battery delivery.
“Frig… what an absolute wounder…” he commented.

I nodded, “He sure is… thanks for going along with the boyfriend cover as well. Christ knows how long I would have been trying to get away from him otherwise…”

Dylan grinned and gave my knee a shake, “No problems at all…happy to help”

We couldn't find a park anywhere outside the restaurant or something within walking distance, so I told Dylan to drop me off and circle around the block while I ducked in and collected our order. Running across the road in heels to avoid the traffic wasn’t the easiest thing I’ve done but I made it with my ankles still in one piece. I was handed the brown paper bag by a very friendly man at the counter and I headed back out the door to wait for Dylan’s return lap to pick me up.

The breeze had picked up a bit more and was blowing my dress around as I stood on the side of the road. Holding the large bag of food made it tricky to keep the dress down to protect my modesty, then, amongst the heavy traffic I spotted the car approaching behind a few cars and stepped out onto the street for a quicker get away. Dylan leaned over and swung the door open as he stopped beside me, which was lucky as a large gust of wind lifted the hem of my skirt up as I tried to slide into the seat, basically flashing anyone that was looking.

“Fuck that wind!” I said in a fluster. I placed the food on the floor as I tried to pull the door closed as well as doing another dozen tasks all at the same time as Dylan moved back into the traffic.

“Ya right there?” he asked me.

“Yeah… sweet!” I sarcastically replied. Trying to unlock the seatbelt enough to pull it across and fasten it. I then worked the dress back down under me to cover myself up a bit.

“Arrrgggghhh, Fuck sake!” I growled to myself when I had everything back where it should have been, Dylan just chuckled as he drove.

“Mmmm… shit it smells good, aye?” He said.

“Yeah, It's making me hungrier… step on it!” I replied.
Dylan gave the throttle pedal a pump then lifted off. “Yeah might pay not to flog it too hard, it’ll blow a head gasket…” I joked.

As we got closer to Mel’s flat the traffic had thinned out again, Dylan kept glancing over at me, it was starting to annoy me slightly and I was about to say something when he started to speak, “Ummm, so… ahhh, shit! I'm not sure how to put this?...”

“Gez, just spit it out would ya?”

Dylan’s face went bright red, I knew he was about to say something that would more than likely embarrass us both more.

“Go on…” I pressed him.

“Well, Before, when you got in… and you know, your dress had blown up.. I.. I couldn’t help noticing…” he paused again, then took in a big breath of air “What have you done with your dick?.... It all looked flat… like a girl!”

Holy shit! I thought to myself. Could this be any more awkward? My face had gone straight past red and into whatever the next stage was. I was really struggling to get anything at all out let alone an answer to his question.

“Like… are you actually a chick and just pretend to be a guy sometimes?” He asked, genuinely confused.

That was enough to regain my composure, “No! I’m not actually a chick pretending to be a guy. I am a guy!” I lifted my dress up showing the smooth front area of the gaff, “It's called a gaff pantie. Basically a really tight pair of undies that keeps everything tucked away…”

“So, what? It’s all just pushed back up and under?... “ he asked as he nervously glanced over for a look without being obvious.

“Yep!” I announced, very matter of fact.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have said anything. I didn't mean to offend you… it’s just, well, it looks very convincing that’s all!”

“That’s the idea I guess…” I added. “I’m not offended either…just so you know…”

Dylan smiled, “Cool, that’s not what I wanted to do…”

“Anyway… what movie will we watch?” I asked as we stopped outside Mel’s.
“Pff, I’d say whatever Mel lets us watch…” he laughed.

“Fuck that's hot…” Mel said, before washing her mouthful down with a beer, “Did you ask for mild…?” she added, as she tried to fan her tongue.
I nodded, and took a bit of hers to try, “Nah that’s alright…. Ooooh nah, yeah… it's got a bit of a kick there at the end aye?”

“I’m pleased I didn't get a hot one then…” Mel said as she checked the receipt on the bag to confirm the spicy-ness level, “Gez, Mild. My bum it is!”

Dylan snorted a laugh trying to keep the food in his mouth “Might need to put some toilet paper in the freezer for tomorrow!”

“My bum will look like a Japanese flag tomorrow if I eat that…. Here, let me try yours…” Mel came at me waving her fork. I held my plate out and she tentatively sampled mine. “Mmm that's ok. We can share…” she grinned at me then sat on the edge of the couch patting the space beside her.

Mel picked a movie from Netflix and it started to play. “It's not a silly, girly one is it?” Dylan asked, shifting his head around trying to see the TV better.

“That attack helicopter suggests it probably isn't…” I mentioned.

“Ahhh, well, I can't see the screen properly from here…” Dylan got up and shifted to the couch with Mel and I, leaving me squished in the middle of them again. “Ah yeah, that's better…” he said, still jiggling around.

“Good! Now fucken sit still and be quiet…” Mel growled. I sniggered and earned me a stern shushing, which started a small giggling fit with me and Dylan until the movie caught our attention back.

“Well, They’ve left that wide open for a sequel haven’t they?” Dylan remarked as he yawned, stretching his arms out behind me.

I laughed, “Shit I thought you were putting the ol’ stretched arm move on me there..”

He smirked and dropped his arm onto my shoulder pulling me in, Mel quickly threw her arms around me and pulled me back towards her, “Not so fast, he’s mine… Hate to have to fight ya and make you cry..” Mel joked.

Dylan threw his hands up in the air and surrendered, “No fighting tonight, we’ve got an early start tomorrow…” He glanced at his watch, “I’d better get going anyway… Thank you for tea and a shit house movie…and...I will see you tomorrow morning!”

Dylan grabbed his stuff and said goodbye another couple of times before heading outside to his car. Mel and I cleaned up the bench and put the leftovers away in the fridge and as I was bending over putting the rubbish in the bin, her two hands grabbed my hips from behind. Mel thrust herself up against me and started to hump me like an overzealous dog.

I started to laugh, “What are you doing?...”

“”Practicing…” she puffed out, still thrusting away.

“Practicing for what?” I asked, trying to stand up.

“Why do you think I might be practicing doing this to you?...” I’ve been a very good girl all day, refraining myself from savaging this sweet little bum…. Now I cant hold back any longer…”

I managed to stand upright and turn to face her, holding her close to me, “Ooohhh, me oh my, whatever shall I do…” I said in a poor attempt to impersonate a Southern Belle accent.

“Well Bondie, it’s time I got my reward for being good… Best get ya self into that bedroom quick smart I reckon…” Mel slapped my bum cheek as I skipped towards her room.

As I bent over to unbuckle my shoe, Mel grabbed my hand, “Nah, leave them on… and the dress…”
She moved my hand up behind my head then did the same to the other one before gently forcing me down onto the bed, she lay on top of me, my elbows bent and my hands just beside my head as she covered me in small soft kisses, all the time keeping the pressure on my wrists stopping me from moving, not that I wanted to be anywhere else.

After sucking my earlobe, Mel’s kisses tracked down my neck to my bare shoulders and across my chest, before she slipped down to her knees and started kissing my inner thigh. She moved ever so slowly higher with each touch of her lips, I could feel her breathing on my skin as she reached the gaff under my dress. She paused, then her hand just faintly touched my tucked genitals and ran the tip of her fingernail down between my legs to my anus.

She whispered “I know someone else that would do anything to be here right now…”

“Huh, who…?” I asked, still in a state of euphoria.

“Dylan…. It’s a shame he went home… don’t ya think…?” Mel purred, still massaging my very aroused downstairs area.

“Mmm, maybe… I dunno….” I replied, not really too interested in anything other than Mel’s ongoing touch.

She rolled me onto my stomach and I heard her rustling around with something before everything went quiet for a moment. I thought she might have left, and just as I went to open my eyes to see where she’d gone, Mel grabbed my hips and guided me up onto my knees. My feet still in the heels hung over the edge of the bed as Mel raised the dress up over my back. She pulled the thong of the gaff down and I felt a cold liquid dripping on my lower back and bum cheek. Mel’s finger wiped it up and then applied it around my hole, darting it in and out as she did so.

I pretty much knew what was coming next and when I heard the humming noise, followed by the soft rumbles against my puckered bum, I relaxed and let Mel guide the purple question mark shaped vibrator inside me.

I had never really considered bum sex at all until meeting Mel, now, not only did I enjoy her taking control, but actually looked forward to it. I still didn’t feel confident enough to just come out and suggest it, instead I treated it more like a special treat, which I think made it even better. Mel was certainly getting better at it as well, she was grinding and pumping away like a champ, and being very vocal with it. Just as well the house was empty, but I’d say the neighbours would have heard her screaming out in a boisterous climax. We both fell onto the bed exhausted and spent,

“That. Was fucken incredible!...” I managed to get out between puffs of air.

“Shit yeah it was!....” Mel added, she waited a bit before adding, “Do you think it would be as good with Mitch or Dylan?....”

I sat up slightly and looked over at Mel, she tilted her head towards me, “Just asking…” she said in a soft tone.

“I doubt it would be anywhere near as good, I enjoy being with you Mel…. I have no reason at all to want to be with them… or a guy at all for that matter…”

She smiled and the look in her eye showed just how much she cared for me. She reached out and touched my hand, “I know that, but you must have at least thought about what it might be like… especially after you and Mitch…”

I rolled over and put my arms around her, “...Maybe.. I have wondered what would have happened if the maid hadn’t come in… but I worried more about mucking everything up with you…”

Mel kissed me and it lasted for ages, “I wonder if Dylan would be a starter for a threesome,... he’s definitely got the ol' lovers nuts for you…so I’d say he’d do whatever you asked” she said.

“Well, we’ll never know, cause I’d never ask anyway…”

Mel rolled onto her back and raised her legs up as she removed the dildo, then she sat back up and leaned down and unbuckled the strap on my heels, dropping them to the floor.

“That feels better…” I said, now wiggling my toes in the newly found free space.
“Yeah maybe, but man it was very sexy shagging with you wearing them…your legs look sooooo hot in them”

“Did you hide my sneakers?” I asked her as I sat up and started to take the dress off.

“Hehehe… I refuse to answer that in case I incriminate myself… But IF, someone were to have hidden them, that wouldn't be the worst thing. Those horrible black shoes are the pits…”

“I bloody knew it!… I thought I was going mad when I couldn't find them this morning… Can I at least have them back for tomorrow, I don't want to spend all day in heels at the field days…” I pleaded.

“That's a no for those terrible black things. But, behave yourself and the white sneakers might show up again…” She said as she bounced across the bed and lay on top of me again, giggling.