It was to be a bit of a non-event in the ex-pit village where I lived. Although the coronation of King Charles lll was supposed to be a massive event of national rejoicing, 300 miles from the centre of attention in London everyone felt a bit remote from what was happening. It was to be an exciting time for Londoners and its hinterland who would be at the centre of things, but around my home village there was little interest and enthusiasm and nothing had been organised.

I was at a bit of a loose end and at a loss of what to do. All the football and other major sporting events had been postponed so as not to clash with the coronation, the major tv channels were scheduled as wall-to-wall coverage of events at Westminster Abbey and Buckingham Palace, and there was very little of interest in most of the other channels, they had decided not to compete with the coronation and were mainly airing repeats. Even though the local pub had decked itself out in bunting and was trying to whip up a bit of enthusiasm, most people there would be getting on with their normal activities, chatting and drinking, playing darts pool or dominoes, rather than showing a great deal of interest in the proceedings.

“Hi Lou,” my sister Anna greeted me when she phoned, “what are you up to today?”

“Not a lot, it’s either sit down to be bored to death by all the sycophantic so called major public figures, enjoying their five minutes of fame, recalling the times they had met or better still known the soon-to-be-crowned King, or go for a walk up in the hills, but the weather does not look too good for that. I don’t mind the actual ceremony itself but all the dross before and after it just leaves me cold.”

“Why not come over to my village then, we were going to have a bit of a street party, mainly for the kids to remember in years to come, but with rain threatening it will now be in the village hall. Actually that is why I have rung you. Two of the girls helping to organise it have had to drop out due to family problems and we are a bit short-handed, would you like to come over and give us a hand?”

“I don’t know Anna, it’s not really my thing, I can’t build up enthusiasm for the whole event and an afternoon surrounded by hordes of screaming over-excited kids is not my idea of a fun time.”

“Don’t be such a miserable old grouch Lou, this coronation is a once-in-a-lifetime event, you can’t just shut yourself off from it. Please say that you will help, I’ll owe you a big favour.”

Not really looking forward to it, but wanting to keep on the good side of Anna, my only relative, I jumped in my car and was soon knocking on her door.

“Oh Lou, look at the state of you, this is supposed to be a celebration and you turn up in those old denim shorts, a Black Sabbath t-shirt, and trainers, where is your sense of occasion.”

I had a good look at her, all dressed up in patriotic colours, red blouse, blue skirt, with a wide white belt and with her hair tied in bunches with red white and blue striped ribbons .

“ Ok, I may be dressed over-casually, but don’t you think that you are a bit over the top, I didn’t realise that you were such a fervent monarchist.”

“We haven’t got time to argue about that or about how you are dressed, we need to get down to the village hall and get the place organised, all the trestle tables and chairs in place and the bunting and flags hung up, ready for when the food arrives for us to plate up before all the kids turn up.”

There was a lot to do to make the place look festive, it was a typical bland multi-functional village-hall without a lot of character and needed a lot of effort to give an atmosphere of jollity and sense of occasion. With me doing most of the heavy lifting and setting up of the tables, while Anna and a couple of her neighbours Claire and Mandy looked after the decorations, we soon had the hall looking ready for a party.

“Look at the state of you Lou, you were bad enough in your sloppy clothes but now with sorting out the tables you are filthy and covered in dust, do you really think that you are in a fit state to socialise and serve the food? Look at the three of us, Claire Mandy and I have really made an effort in our red white and blue outfits, showing a bit of national pride, you can’t stay like that, let’s go back to my place and get you cleaned up and tidy.”

Start off with a good wash to get rid of all the muck while I see if I can sort something out for you to change into.

“Most of my stuff is too small for you, but there are a couple of pairs of trousers that you might squeeze into, try them on.”

“This is a waste of time Anna, there is no way that I can get this waist fastened, it is at least three or four inches too tight to say nothing about the way it is squashing my groin.”

“Well there is no way that you are coming back with me in those horrible dirty denim shorts. If trousers won’t work maybe a skirt will have a better chance.”

“Don’t be ridiculous, I’ll look totally stupid in a skirt.”

“You won’t. Not If you go the whole way and dress completely in female clothes. Remember those couple of times that you came with me and my friends to the Spice Girls concerts, when you felt that you would lose your street cred if anyone saw you and you had to admit to liking them and their music, and let me dress you up as one of us so that you would fit in. You actually looked quite good, fitted in with us and enjoyed yourself, let’s do the same again, at least it will be a memorable coronation day for you. Your hair is long to match your favourite heavy-metal band, I could work with that, and with a bit of makeup you will be ok. Have a quick shave, and do your arms and legs and Louise can soon make another appearance.

It was all a bit of a rush, but I was soon dressed in a red full-sleeved blouse, white flared skirt and blue tights, fully made up, fingernails painted red white and blue, with my hair curled and tied up in bunches with patriotic ribbons like Anna, and Ialmost dragged out to the car to make our way back to the hall.

Claire and Mandy had been warned by Anna of what she had done to me and were waiting outside as we pulled up and got out of the car.

“Hi Louise, don’t you scrub up well, Anna’s done a really good job on you, you will fit in a lot better with us all now. We’ll go in and meet the others, as far as anyone else in concerned you are Louise, Anna’s sister, which they will believe as there are a lot of similarities between you. It’s just as well you have joined in with us girls, everyone else here with the kids are their mothers, there’s not a man in sight, they are all off to the pub or amusing themselves doing something else, they don’t have the same enthusiasm for this sort of thing as us girls. Come on in and just relax and enjoy your day in a skirt.”

Actually once I got over the initial wariness afraid of being outed as an invader to the band of women, I relaxed and just got on with helping to serve the food and clean up afterwards along with the other women, almost forgetting how I was dressed and looked. Anna had brought along her guitar to lead the sing-song after the food was finished, and as I was a much better guitarist than her, I took over while she led the singing, getting all the kids involved.

At the end of the afternoon, people started to drift away, but all showered the four of us with praise and thanks for organising and running things. It had brought the community together for an enjoyable afternoon which would live in the children’s memories for a lifetime.When everyone left we tidied up the place, cleaned away all the disposable plates and cutlery, took down the bunting and flags and restored the hall to its normal blandness.

“Right girls, that was a lot of hard work, but a lot of fun too, I think that we all deserve a drink, let’s go down to the pub to relax and have our own celebration.” Claire suggested.

“Ok girls, I’ll leave you to it, I’ll go back to Anna’s get my stuff get changed and head off home.”

“Oh no Louise, you have worked as hard as any of us, and you have got on ever so well with us and all the mothers, rolled up your sleeves and worked away just like the rest of us, you are obviously included too. Let’s all freshen up our makeup, tidy our hair and let’s go down to the puband show up all those miserable men who couldn’t be bothered to join in.”

I had a good time with the girls for the rest of the evening, sitting in the beer garden talking about the events of the day until Anna suggested that we all went back to her place to watch the recording of the coronation and processions together.

After spending a day in my patriotic-coloured costume and really enjoying all the excitement of the kids I was in a much more enthusiastic mood about the coronation than I had been that morning. Most of the chatter as we watched was about all the gorgeous costumes, not just of the women, most of which would have cost a fortune at the designer shops, but also the ceremonial robes of the peers of the realm and the court officials. surprisingly I found myself joining with as much enthusiasm and interest, even if not quite as much knowledge, as the other girls. Instead of a lonely day moaning to myself about the whole non-event in our village, I had a fun day with a group of girls that were now my friends and enjoyed myself mixing in with them as just another one of the girls.

As we said our goodnights, Mandy and Claire gave me big hugs, I had only met them that day, but I felt that I now knew them a lot better than many of my neighbours or casual drinking partners down at the local pub.

“I’ve really enjoyed meeting you today Louise, you are a lot of fun, next time you are over visiting Anna, we will all have to get together again for a girls’ night out.” Mandy invited me.

“That goes for me too, it might have been a coronation for the king, but you have definitely been our Queen for the day.” Claire said as she smiled and squeezed my hand”

The end.