This little short came to me while waiting for a Funeral Cortege to go slowly along the road and into a local church. It is a variation on a piece that I wrote for my writing class.

“Now is the time for Ewan to say goodbye to his dear wife,” said the Vicar.

“Thank you very much Reverend Stewart. Your words have made a big difference to what I’m about to say.”

I looked at those attending the funeral of my late wife Olivia. Almost all of them had despite many protestations, had followed the instructions dreamed up by Olivia and had not worn black. I, on the other-hand was totally covered in black.

“I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for coming along today to pay our last respects to Olivia. As you can see, she planned today right down to the last detail including what I’m wearing today.”

There was a small chuckle from a few of those present. Both sets of parents remained totally stone-faced. They were united for once in that they most certainly did not approve of the new me.

“We are gathered here today to remember the life of my late wife Olivia Mia Jacobsen.
Olivia and I met by chance as you often do of the love of your life. There we were two first year students and living away from home for the first time. The modern-day fish out of water I suppose. By some freak of chance, we were both studying Electrical Engineering at University and our first lecture on the first day was ‘Materials Science’. The lecture theatre was almost full of very nervous students when Olivia walked in. For some strange and unfathomable reason, she came and sat next to me but neither of us said a word. She was in my eyes stunningly beautiful and way out of my league. I looked around and there were almost a dozen other women already seated but none came anywhere near Olivia in terms of beauty at least in my eyes.”

A small tear formed in my left eye as I remembered how clumsy I’d been back then.

“The lecture was… well to be blunt right over my head. I was totally lost as I’d never studied much chemistry at school and this small fat guy was talking about co-valent bonding and well as far as I was concerned, he might have been talking in Ancient Greek. On the other hand, Olivia wasn’t lost at all. The copious notes that she took told me that she had at least a bit of a clue what he was going on about. Seeing her take everything down in detail made me even more depressed. Anyway, we never said a word to each other either during the lecture of afterwards. Our paths didn’t cross again until the following day, when we had a Lab Session in Thermodynamics. I needed a partner and yes, you guessed it so did Olivia. So, we teamed up and naturally we had to not only speak to each other but work together. That broke the ice between us and she helped me with my lack of Chemistry knowledge and I helped her with many other things related to our course especially Power Electronics which even for many Electrical Engineers is something of a dark art.”

Now a tear formed in my right eye.

“By the time Halloween came around we’d become good friends. Olivia was living in a Hall on Campus while I had a small bedsit about three miles from the Uni. Anyway, that fated Halloween night, some of the other residents of the hall decided to throw a party. It didn’t bother them that this was a Wednesday one little bit. The problem was that we had an assignment due in the next day so Olivia phoned me up and we agreed that she could come around to my place where we could work on our assignments and a couple of our Lab reports that were due in the following Monday. I have to admit that I spent the next half hour in a bit of a panic, clearing away all my dirty washing and dishes and trying to make the place look half respectable for her. Then, Olivia seemed to take forever to get to me. The reason was that she’d gotten off the bus at the wrong stop and had to walk back to my place. Then it came on to rain and she got cold as well as wet. When she arrived, I took pity on her and showed her the bathroom so that she could get a shower. I said, ‘Olivia, I’ll get some clean dry clothes for you. They will be on my bed’. Then I went and made her a hot drink. That was a precursor to my downfall. Ten minutes later Olivia came into the kitchen. The problem was that she wasn’t wearing the clothes I’d laid out for her but she’d gone rummaging and found a skirt and top of mine that I’d hurriedly put away earlier. I was busted, but it did not matter one little bit to her.”

There were a few titters from the audience.

“She came and sat on my lap and kissed me. That was it. In her eyes, we were now a couple and I wasn’t arguing. She and I moved in together over the Christmas break. The day after we both graduated, we were married. Together, we spent thirteen and a half very happy years as a couple. It wasn’t all perfect by any means. Our worst period was when we found out that we couldn’t have children. Then Isla came into our lives and made us a really happy family until… until Olivia got Cancer. As many of you know she fought through three lots of chemo and one operation but it got her in the end which is why we are here today.”

“Today we say goodbye to Olivia whose infectious happiness touched pretty well everyone who came into contact with her. At times she could be frustratingly stubborn, but in the end, you would end up having a laugh with her or at her. Olivia was pretty unique in that she didn’t mind being the fool and having the fun taken out of her. That was part of who she was. Her other big attribute was that she’d almost always get the last word in in any conversation which leads me to today and why I’m dressed all in black and… well you can see for yourselves.”

“I’m now going to read the words that Olivia wrote herself before she became too ill and went into the Hospice.”

“There’s my husband Ewan, dressed all in black standing next to my coffin. I hope your seams are straight darling you know how bad they look when they aren’t… You see, I’m setting him free to pursue his lifelong desire to live as a woman. I knew about his cross dressing even before that night when I visited his flat that fateful Halloween night. My acceptance of that made us a real couple. Seeing his feminine side out in the open is part of why I loved him so much. It made us a better couple. Now that my time is up it is his turn to be himself or rather ‘herself’. I ask all of you present today to grant me this one dying wish and that is to be patient with her. I know the inner woman that he has hid for so long will come out but as the Italians say, ‘Rome wasn’t built in a day’.”

I paused as my eyes watered up. After a lot of blinking, they cleared.

“Olivia has been taken from this world leaving Isla and myself behind. Before Olivia passed, the three of us spent many hours talking about life after… life after today. Isla and I will try to live up to her expectations.”

I nodded to the Vicar and sat down.

The last piece of music that Olivia had chosen started to play. It was one of her favourites. Acker Bilk’s ‘Stranger on the Shore’. I loved it as well. His clarinet sound soon had me in tears. Through wet eyes, I saw Olivia’s coffin disappear and the curtains began to close.

Everyone left the chapel apart from Isla and myself. Neither of us had moved for several minutes. There was a brief moment of peace which we could experience together.

“Mummy hasn’t only gone to be an angel Daddy. She’s inside you right now!” said Isla.

She was so right. For an eight-year old, she was remarkably sensible and even more adult than many around us had been since Olivia had passed.

I dabbed the wetness away from my eyes and hoped that the waterproof mascara that Olivia had insisted I buy for this very day was truly staying put.

Then I stood up and took Isla’s hand in mine. Together we walked out into the late afternoon sun our heads held high and hoping that we could live up to at least some of the expectations that Olivia had for us. It would not be easy but with Isla at my side, we would get there in the end although we had no idea at all where that end would be.

[the end]