I remembered the night she threw me out. I had worn her sexiest underwear. She hadn’t worn it for years, so one of us may as well use it. I was half way through clipping my stockings to my suspenders when she came in. I thought she would be out seeing her friend until 10.30 at least.

“I bloody knew it, you little queer. You couldn’t leave it alone could you? Well, you can bugger off. I want a real man.”

She didn’t want anybody, frigid cow. We divorced with her agreeing not to bring up my crossdressing if I gave in to all her demands. I was scared if it got out, I would lose my job and the few friends I had.

Still, at least I could dress without fear. The little spare money I had got me a small selection of clothes, and a half-decent wig. I got cheap makeup as I had never used it before and didn’t want to waste the good stuff.

One night, about three months after I moved into the tiny rented bedsit, I got the courage to go out for a walk. I had got the makeup right and looked natural. I put on a knee-length brown dress, black tights and one-inch heeled ankle boots.

I put my handbag over my shoulder and carried my umbrella in my free hand. The woman looking back at me looked like a smart middle-aged housewife. I was thrilled.

As I closed the door and felt the wind ruffle the hem of my dress and cool air around my legs I was thrilled. I was so nervous, yet so happy. I clicked along the street only meaning to walk around the block.

A woman walking a dog came towards me I was ready to turn and run, but a voice told me.

“You’re not doing anything illegal. Sod them.”

She just said. “Good evening.” As she passed.

I was just getting over that when I heard a car coming from behind. I turned as it blasted its horn. A bald gut stuck his head out the wind and shouted.

“Nice arse darling!”

Then he laughed and drove off. I was annoyed, but a little thrilled. I was passing. I felt like I was floating. I had wanted to be a girl since five years old. I just lacked conviction. This was as close as I had ever come. I decided to walk up the high street and come back via the park.

Such a simple thing. Walking down a high street as a woman. I'm not hurting anyone, I thought. maybe my life wasn't that bad after all. It was wonderful passing by people who nodded or just ignored me. None of the negative comments that I had been dreading. Seeing my reflection as I went by closed shop windows thrilled me. Just a woman out for a stroll.

I should never have gone through the park though. I had never been there after dark so didn’t know that it attracted drunk and drugged up hooligans. Around ten of them were making noise near a couple of park benches drinking larger from cans. I held my breath and stared ahead as I passed them.

One stood and blocked my way. He was about thirty, with an unshaven face and bad breath.

“All right darling? You’re a bit of a MILF aren’t ya?”

I spoke softly in a Scottish accent.

“Please move, I just wanta get home.”

“What I’m not good enough?”

He made a grab for what he thought was my pussy. What he found shocked and angered him. He jumped back.

“It’s a fucking tranny.”

I don’t know who hit me first. I just remember punches and kicks raining down on me. Then one final kick to my stomach before they walked away. I dragged myself up using the park bench. I must look a mess. I couldn’t go back via the high street in case I attracted the attention that I needed. I could feel my face swelling and suspected I would have at least one black eye in the morning.

I decided to cross the park and walk along the river bank. I limped painfully to the tow path. Why the hell did I deserve a beating because of the way I dressed? I knew if I reported it the police would probably laugh behind my back. I may even get a headline in the local paper. I would be a laughing stock. All because of clothes? It was madness it was unfair.

The tears started to flow in anger and frustration. That’s why I never noticed the object following me. A tiny ball of light flickered in front of me. Then it expanded into a large white light and absorbed me.

I blinked against the searing light. I was standing in a white void. In front of me was an opaque being, around eight feet tall with large black eyes. It reached out a slender six fingered hand and touched my shoulder.

There was a rush of images in my mind. I saw space, human history a horrible looking insect like creature then I collapsed.

When I woke up, I was on a table surrounded by a shimmering light. As I watched my cuts healed I felt
the swelling in my eye go down. The alien, well I assumed it was an alien, came closer then opened what must have been a lipless mouth.

The voice that came out from it was melodical and sweet.

"I am sorry I overloaded your senses. Please remain calm. I will use audio communication now."

"Who, and what are you?"

"You can call me Guardian. My species is known among other sentient species that use audio communication as a Denor."

"Where are we? Why am I here? Will you let me go?"

"You are in no danger. My purpose is to observe your species. I have been observing for 20,000 years."

"You can't be. Nothing lives that long."

"Your species could if you had our technology. You are here because I saw you and felt compassion. I am not meant to interfere, but I saw your distress. Before I return you, I can wipe your mind if I wish. I sometimes grow lonely and wish to communicate with you.."

"Why are you watching us? Are you going to invade us?"

It made an odd choking noise that may have been laughter.

"Your mind is typical of your species. I had hoped for more. No, this galaxy has almost an infinite number of planets and resources. No one needs what you have here."

"So why observe?"

"Do you know what the most precious resource of this galaxy is human?"

I thought and gave what I thought were clever answers.

"Diamonds, gold, err no oxygen, No I know, water."

"Incorrect. It is sentient life. Your species is sentient. Your technology would allow us to include you in the great union, but your mindset is toxic. Part of my purpose is to keep you in this solar system."

"We can't travel any further anyway, so what’s the point?"

"You are close to discovering interstellar travel. It will not work though, as I will not allow it. We cannot allow your toxic human values to corrupt the galaxy. I also protect your planet from the invasive hive mind of an insect species, the Vixoid."

"I saw them in my mind. What do they want?"

"They want to spread like a plague until the galaxy is just them. They visit a planet and lay eggs. On earth, they lay their eggs in cattle. I have to send probes to remove them before they hatch. They sent a large hatchery ship in your year 1908. I destroyed it over a place called Tunguska."

"Why do you think we are toxic?"

"You crave material things above each other's health and happiness. You watch each other die for lack of money. Half of your would starves, while the other half makes itself ill from over consuming. You have the resources to make sure no one dies of hunger or thirst, but you do nothing. These things make you a horrific race for supposed sentient beings. It is insane."

"Is it just that which keeps us from joining you and being immortal?"

"No there is much more. If we gave you the secret of immortality, it would be reserved for the very rich who control most of your resources. It would not be shared for the common good."

"It’s been that way for thousands of years. I know."

"Your species were kinder to each other when you were hunter gathering. Men and women had equal value. Men did a lot of the hunting as they were faster and stronger. Women did the gathering with their superior dexterity and color vision. If the hunt failed, the women and the young fed the tribe. Your value was judged by what sustenance you gave your tribe. Everyone worked for the good of the tribe. Everyone had a purpose. Sentient beings need to be wanted they need purpose. Now you lock your old away and wait for them to die."

"There is a lot of hate. I was beaten because I dress as the female gender, but I am male."

"When your species moved to farming, male strength was prized to work the fields and defend the land. Females began to be pushed into minor, limiting roles such as child rearing and work about the farm. You started to value male strengths above female. You told your male children you must be strong and not be like girls. You told them male ideals are a priority and females were secondary. You still do this. Even your females are infected with this thinking. Your transgression in your attacker's mind was you were making yourself weaker. Less of a man."

"You saw what my wife said when she threw me out then?."

"Yes, "real man". Do you know there is just as much difference in the brain of one male and another as between male and female? You suppress the emotions of your male children and wonder why they turn violent and commit suicide. Your species worry so much about clothes, colour of skin, gods and sexual preference. Most species of the union would not ask, or care about any of these things."

"I can see how bad we must look to you. It's a system that has worked for thousands of years though."

"It has kept you enslaved and suffering for the ones at the top of the tree. Until you change you will never advance. It is a pity. We could use your aggressive tendencies in the fight against the vixoids. Your species creates such beauty, your art and music are legendary, as is your cruelty."

"I feel ashamed to be human sometimes. Before you return me. The machine you used to heal me. Can it change a Y chromosome to and X?

"You humans really do not understand your own bodies do you? You already have genitals formed and producing sperm. You have testes producing and secreting testosterone. Your adrenal cortex is producing more testosterone than estrogen. Switch you to XX would not change you that much. Possibly sperm production would drop. Testosterone production in testes would drop. Your adrenal cortex would switch to making more estrogen than testosterone. You may get gynecomastia."

"Oh, I thought if I had a and XX I would be a woman. All those things you mentioned I could get with hormones."

"You have 46 chromosomes in your cells. The main purpose of the Y chromosome is that it is the male-determining gene, the SRY gene, that causes testes to form in the embryo and results in the development of external and internal male genitalia."

"So you are saying I am not that different from an XX female?"

"No. Your species has the means to make you in all appearances female if that is your desire. Many are altered so much by testosterone that it is difficult. Others are more fortunate. Unless you are in the habit of taking a DNA when you meet someone you would never know."

"I know that Guardian, I just thought your machine could do it. Maybe without all the pain?"

Guardian sighed. He shook his head and said with what sounded like compassion.

"Sarah. The only reason you want to put yourself through all that pain is to be better accepted by those around you."

I thought about it. Guardian was right. I wanted to be accepted. While I thought I would like to have a more feminine appearance, I really didn't hate my body the way others did.

"If only your species would just accept each other. You would all be so much happier. I fear that is a long way off. You belong to a minority group. That makes you much more vulnerable to hate and politics. I would help you, but if I did it may give my presence away. I'm sorry. I wish you well.

I heard a small hum and the room faded. I was back by the canal. I returned home without incident. I ran a bath and started to undress. I was disappointed as took my knickers off. I looked down at my penis, it was still their, large as life.

I unclipped my bra and let out a small scream. The water filled balloons were gone. I now had a set of C cup boobs of my own. Even my nipples were larger than they had been.

I heard Guardian's voice in my head.

"Sorry human. The healing machine may have given you that human complaint of gynecomastia. I'm sure you can see your physician about removing them if you wish."

I smiled and thought. "Not on your Nelly Guardian". They were here to stay.