“Right girls, Judy said when she got back, “we have an early start in the morning, breakfast at 8:00, so we better get cleaned up and ready for bed. Despite all the strange and new experiences, events and traumas of the day, I surprisingly slept really well.

In the hazy time between sleep and being fully awake I heard one of the girls up and about in the early morning. Although our meals were in the communal hut, we had our own drink making facilities and when I dragged myself out of bed, Nicola already had the kettle on for coffees. As she was still in her nightie, I just went over in my pyjamas to see if I could help.

“Morning, Lyn, did you sleep well?”

“Surprisingly, yes, I thought that it might be chilly in these light pyjamas but I was ok.”

“They look good on you, don’t worry about us all wandering round in our nightwear, until I’ve had my coffee I can’t be bothered to get properly dressed, and besides you look the same as us now anyway. Wake the others up we need to get dressed and ready for breakfast.”

“Ok, I’ll go and give them a shake.”

“Before you do that though, you need to sort your boy bits out, they are showing through those flimsy shorts. If you have ever seen Drag Race you will remember that some of those guys wear very revealing outfits but as far as you can tell they look down below just like girls do. It might look better if you do what they do and tuck everything back between your legs and wear really tight knickers, give it a go and see how you feel about it.”

The others soon joined us and we had time for a quick chat before getting dressed.

“Right girls, I had a talk with Mark last night and we’ll be going on a bit of a trek around today to get a feel for the place and an outline of what we’ll be doing for the next few weeks, so it’s outdoor wear today, jeans or leggings , a light top with an extra jumper that can be on or off depending how warm we feel , thick socks and walking boots, he’ll provide anoraks. He also suggested that we use a sun-screen moisturiser unless any of you want to get a dried- out weatherbeaten look, it can be quite exposed up here.” Zara told us.

“I’ll dig something out for you for today Lyn,” offered Judy, “when we get back we’ll all pool together things for you so you can look after your own stuff. You might want to add a bit of mascara too, and obviously lippy, us girls feel half-naked without that. Most of us will be tying our hair up today it’s a bit breezy to let it all blow around, maybe though instead of your tight low ponytail, we should tie it a bit higher up, it will look a lot more feminine, particularly as your hair is still fluffed up and a bit bouncy from how I styled it last night.”

After breakfast, before we set off we were given a lecture on Health & Safety rules by Mark, “Stick together in groups don’t wander off on your own, if you feel any pain, shout out, don’t worry about being thought of as a wimp, if you see any adders let everyone know, we have got anti-venom but I’d rather avoid the need for it. The other thing is please let me know if you see any grey squirrels, we are now trying to limit their numbers to give the native red ones a chance to thrive, and we set traps for them.Today is mainly familiarisation but if I see or hear anything interesting we will stop while I tell you about it, and you do the same for me.”

It wasn’t too strenuous a day, at least not for me, a circular route about 5 miles out and 5 miles back. Some of the paths were badly eroded by walkers, or just by the weather, and repairs would be part of our duties. Tree boxes for the Red Squirrels needed cleaning out or new ones put up, Kielder, and North Northumberland in general, is one of the few areas of England where they hadn’t been driven out by their American Grey cousins, and any trees damaged by bark stripping by the Roe deer population needed replacement. There was plenty to start on over the next few days. It wasn’t all work planning though we were all delighted to see an active badger sett, they mostly only came out in the evening or at night, but playful young cubs were being shepherded back into the sett as we approached. We heard a lot of noise from the deer, and got an occasional glance of one, probably male, or a group, probably female, running across our path. By the time we got back to base, I had enjoyed my time out with the others and almost forgot the situation I was in and just went along doing whatever the others were doing.

Back in the hut we all changed into clean dry clothes, but tonight it was just fresh versions of what we had been wearing through the day. Nicola went around the others and came over to me with a new pack of panties, another bra and a couple of new tops, another pair of jeans, and a pair of sandals. The girls had definitely come prepared with plenty spare stuff.
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“That should do you for the next couple of days Lyn. As you have not got much, unless any of your boy clothes could be seen to be acceptable as unisex, you need to keep on top of your washing so that you always have clean stuff, you can’t expect us to keep digging into our own stock.”

I thought that I now had almost as much girls’ clothing as my own stuff that I had brought with me. But then girls won’t wear the same shirts for days on end, never mind how frequently, or actually infrequently, that I normally changed my underwear.

Our second night at dinner was more relaxed than the first, helped by the fact that we were all dressed very casual, or at least what looked casual. It’s amazing how much effort the girls made to look as if they’ve just thrown themselves together quickly.

A couple of the lads had brought guitars with them and another had a ‘penny whistle’ and they kept us entertained all evening, mainly folk or country songs and tunes, but it was mostly join-in-able.We were all in a good mood when we got back to the hut and quickly get changed for bed but sat around chatting with mud of cocoa for a while. I was not nearly as self-conscious sitting with them all dressed only in our nightwear, they said that they would be treating me as another girl and I was beginning to accept that and just looked on them as friends that I was staying with and enjoying the company of.

The next two days we were put to work repairing eroded footpaths, shoring up edges, resetting step thresholds that had been pushed into the softer slopes. It was not the most stimulating work, but it was an essential part of maintaining the paths and in its own way was enjoyable and rewarding.

When we got back to the hut there were a collection of parcels waiting for Judy, which she picked up and dropped on my bunk. “I ordered some clothes for you, add them to what you have already been given, it’ll save you having to borrow from us. Nothing exciting, some jeans and leggings, tops, some jumpers, two skirts, more panties - you can’t have enough, a couple of bras, a pair of shoes and another pair of sandals, some makeup and a colour palette of your own, and of course I just had to get you a gorgeous red mini-dress too.”

“Thank you Judy, you shouldn’t have bothered, I don’t need so much stuff.”

“You’ll be surprised, I bet at the end of the four weeks that there will be very little still unused. Oh, I almost forgot.” she said with a big grin, “ I’ve a special surprise for you, take off your top and bra, and close your eyes and keep them closed.” Wondering what she was up to, I did as I was told and suddenly felt something cold on my chest, and couldn’t keep them closed any longer. I looked down to see that she was holding something pressed to my chest.

“Now you are back with us, you’ll see that I have attached breast forms to you, those bags of rice did the job for a few days, but these are a lot more realistic. Take over from me, and hold them tight to your chest for a few minutes until the glue grips properly.”

“Glue?, you mean that they are not removable?”

“That’s right, they should hold for the rest of the time that we are here, you can even have a shower and wash them. When we leave I have some solvent to remove them, but I’m hiding that, you are now having to live with the bother of breasts jiggling around whenever you move, like the rest of us, until it is time to leave”

“Why do I need them?”

“As I said the rice bags were not very realistic. With these, you effectively are now the same as us, at least up top, so there need be no embarrassment when we are changing, you’ll not be seeing anything different to what you have yourself. You will also be pleased that you will no longer need to wear your bra 24 hours a day, you’ll find it a nice relief to take it off at the end of the day. Put your bra back on now, let me have a look to make sure they are fixed ok.”

I stood up, and was surprised at the sensation, the weight of the forms pulling on my chest skin was totally different to having the rice bags in the bra cups. I was glad to put the bra back on and take some of the weight onto my shoulders.

“That should do you Lyn, they are better than I expected, almost totally natural looking. Put your top on and we’ll join the others.”

The girls must have known what was happening as when we joined them, they were all staring at my chest.

“Give us a flash then Lyn, this we have to see.” Shrieked Nicola.

I pulled off my top to give the a full view and twirled around so they could see them from all directions.

“OMG, they are so realistic, just look at the cleavage girls.” Rachel added.

“I hope some of those new tops that Judy bought for you show your new friends off, it will be a shame to hide them.” joked Kathy, “ You’ve definitely got it now girl, you have to flaunt it.”

I put my top back on, deciding that the peep show had gone on long enough.“ This stuff must have all cost a fortune, it’s very kind of you Judy.”

“Don’t worry about that.” Judy replied, My parents are both lawyers and are quite well off, I get a very generous clothing allowance from them and very rarely spend much of it, the others all chipped in too. Although you have known us for the uni year, you’ve never really been a part of the group, as a boy you were always on the fringe of some of our get-togethers, this is our welcome gift to you. Enjoy it all while you can.”

I actually felt tears forming in my eyes, something that I rarely did, and went round to each of them in turn giving them a thank-you hug.

Before went off for dinner, I changed into my new jeans and one of my new tops, a sleeveless scoop-neck strappy style that Judy picked out for me, which I thought was too revealing, but she insisted that there was no need to be embarrassed about showing a bit, or even a lot, of cleavage. “Look Lyn we keep telling you that you are a girl now, at least while we are here, us girls wear tops like that, sometimes even more exposed, you have to get used to how we all dress and follow suit otherwise you will stand out.”

I was pleased to see that the other girls were wearing something similar and although I felt half-naked in such a skimpy top I didn’t look any different to the others and they didn’t seem bothered about what they were showing.

“Come-on you lot, the Kielder Girls have all worked hard today and we need to go for our dinner.” Zara chivvied us up.

After dinner, Mark and another of the rangers, Gary, who was looking after the lads told us to go and put on something warm, especially us girls, as there was something he wanted us all to see.

After nightfall, the sky was cloudless and in the dark-sky area of Kielder the display of stars filled the sky from horizon to horizon. It was an awesome sight, one that I would never forget. The stars were so numerous and bright that it was difficult to pick out the constellations that we were all familiar with. I was enthralled by it all and standing transfixed by the incredible beauty when I sensed someone near me, and found Rob, one of the boy volunteers standing beside me, gazing in the same direction as me.

“Gorgeous, isn’t it, I’ve never seen anything like it, isn’t that the Cassiopeia constellation in among that cluster, it is hard to tell.” He said pointing up with his left arm while putting his right across my shoulder. Although it gave me a warm feeling, confirming that I was now accepted as Lyn, there was no magic buzz there, I might look totally convincing as a girl, but my mind and my sexual orientation had not changed.

I smiled up at him, “It’s delightful Rob, I wish I had my camera with me.”

“I’ve taken a few photos , if they turn out ok when I download them, I’ll send you copies to your phone.”

Having heard lots of stories from the girls over the past year, I thought, “Very smooth, good move, that’s one way to get my phone number.”

“It’ll be better if you email them to me, I can then look them up on my computer, the images will be much better.” I thought “If you want to play games with me, you are going to have to try harder than that.” I gave him my email address, thanked him for his offer and went back to the girls. After another half-hour staring at the spectacle in the sky we all made our way back to our huts, and while we were walking I noticed Rob occasionally glancing over towards me.

We got changed for bed, Judy was right it was a relief to take off the bra, even if the free movement of my breasts beneath the pyjama top while we were chatting felt very strange.

“Hey girls, did anyone else notice the looks our Lyn was getting from that bit of a hunk. She’s only been a girl for a few days and already has the boys chasing her.” Kathy teased me.

Blushing deeply, I mumbled “We were only talking about the stars and he promised to send me some photos he had taken.”

“I hope that you didn’t give him your phone number Lyn, you don’t want to get a stalker.”

“No chance, I’ve heard too many of your stories over the last few months and won’t trust any of the boys unless I get to know them better.”

“You better have these Lyn. “ Rachel said as she threw over a box to me.

“What on earth do I need sanitary pads for, don’t be silly.”

“If you think that you might get into a petting situation put one in your panties before you meet up, nothing puts the boys off more than the thought of periods.” causing nods and groans from the other girls.

“Just think yourself lucky that you will never need them for real.” Rachel continued. “ If men ever had to suffer period pains, even once or twice, never mind every month for 30 years or so, they would find a cure for all the discomfort and bother tomorrow.”

“You’re a bit tetchy tonight Rachel, have you come on?” Asked Judy sympathetically.

“Too bloody right I have, if that is not a bad choice of words, I started last night, that’s why I was up so early this morning.. I get the cramps really bad, so count me out for tomorrow, I doubt that I will feel much like bending down tidying the paths or planting trees.”

That started a discussion about who suffered the most and who had it easiest. Normally they would not have felt free to talk like that in front of me as Lyndsay, but everything was now different with me sitting there as Lyn in my sleep set with my breasts stretching the thin material.

“Sorry Lyn, it’s not your fault, but if I could get hold of God I would ring his neck for putting me through this every 4 weeks.” which caused a chorus of ‘Hear, hear’, “ it definitely proves that god is a man, and a sadist too.” before everyone, Rachel and me included, burst out laughing.

In the morning I felt bad about Rachel staying behind by herself, so I remained there to keep her company when the others went off to work for the day.

“I know I am not the best shoulder to cry on over this Rachel, but It’s me who is here. Let me know if there is anything I can do or get you, even if it is just to listen while you have a moan about men in your life, or men in general, I am a good listener.”

“Why are you doing this Lyn?”

“Let’s say that I am on a guilt trip on behalf of the male population, men always moan about their womenfolk getting grumpy and argumentative when they are on, but we can never realise what you go through. After all the things you all said last night, at least I now have a better idea. There may be nothing I can do to help, but at least you have my sympathy. At the risk of a violent reaction from you, look on the bright side, tomorrow or the day after, you will be over the worst and you can enjoy the rest of your time here, the other girls still have theirs to come.”

“I never thought of it like that, I get so wrapped up in myself when I am on. Oh Lyn, do we have to turn all men into women like we have done with you to get them to realise what we have to go through?”

I nearly argued back that I wasn’t intending to be turned into a woman, and that it was only for the duration of the camp, but the mood she was in I thought it best not to.

“You are really empathetic and genuinely caring Lyn and you have fitted in so well with the rest of us girls and adapted to the clothes and to the way we get on with each other, sometimes it is easy to forget that you are really a boy. Have you spent a lot of time with groups of girls before you met all of us?”

“Since you have been so open and honest with me about your intimate problems, I’ll let you into a few secrets about myself, but this is just between us, don’t tell the others please. I’ve been told that when I was a baby and toddler, Mum passed down to me a lot of clothes that my older sister Caroline had outgrown, most of it baby grows, sleep suits and things like that, but also a few baby dresses and tops and skirts. She used to enjoy dressing us similarly and taking us out together. That all ended when I started school, although she did like me to keep my hair long so that she could spend time brushing it out just like she did with Caroline.”

“There’s nothing unusual in that, you were probably too young to understand what was going on.” Rachel smiled and nodded.

“As we got older, because we live on a farm in a remote area, Caroline and I made our own games together, and we were probably a lot closer than most brothers and sisters. Sometimes we did boyish stuff, climbing trees, kicking balls around, fishing in the nearby brook, but often we played dress-up games, usually ending up with me in her skirts or dresses and with my hair brushed out or in bunches.”

“I used to do that with my younger brother too, he hated it, but went along with it as it passed the time and we enjoyed each others company.” She added. “Is that it, it does not explain how you so easily have adapted to living with us as a girl?”

“ In our early teens most of the neighbours of our age were girls and Caroline soon got friendly with a bunch of them, leaving me to amuse myself in my room, reading or playing computer games. One day, she was feeling sorry for neglecting me and suggested that I went along with her to meet her friends. Like you and the other girls hereThey were all quite welcoming to me and soon it became a regular thing. Just like here with you and the other girls, they soon got used to my company and tended to forget that I was a boy.

When they were starting to learn makeup and fancy hair styles, they included me as another one of the models to experiment on and soon when I was with them, other than the clothes I was wearing, I became virtually indistinguishable from them. One thing led to another and soon I was regularly wearing skirts and dresses, even when we went into the nearby towns for shopping, or just wandering around, I was just accepted as a girl by everyone we met, just like here. As we got older my mother caught me dressed up once and had a long serious talk with Caroline and me and convinced me that it was not a good idea, that I needed to develop myself more as a boy, or young man, and it all stopped.”

“I take it that when you met all of us and started hanging around with us that all the memories came back.”

“I had no intention of starting wearing skirts again even after I met you all, but I did find it easy to slip into girl-mode when I was in your company, because of all the time I had spent with Caroline and her friends, I just found it more relaxing being in your company and joining in your conversations than in the bar with the lads talking about cars and football and their sexual encounters with girls.”

“You seem very relaxed with us all, and comfortable living here as a girl. Just enjoy it for the next few weeks, don’t worry about whether it is right or wrong or whether you should be doing it. Forget that you are really a boy, you look like a girl, speak like a girl and as far as we are concerned while you are here, you are a girl, just live your life here as a girl, think and act as if it is the most natural thing in the world.”

“Thank you for listening and not making jokes or throwing insults at me, I really appreciate what you have said, you have become a really close friend that I can confide in.” I walked over to her, gave her a big hug and cried on her shoulder.”

“That’s a good girl, let it all out, have a good cry, that’s what us girls do with their close friends. Go and get your make up cleaned up, all the crying has made a right mess of it, you need to look presentable for when the others come back.”

To be continued.