A Modest Proposal Part 2
by Melanie Brown
Copyright  © 2022 Melanie Brown

 

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“Ron? Well, this is unexpected.”

“Hey Janet. Something happened today that I thought would interest you,” I said to my sister over the phone.

“Kinda late, isn’t it? I was thinking about going to bed.” asked Janet. “You never call me, so I guess this is something important?”

“Maybe. I’ve joined the cheerleaders!” I exclaimed.

There was a pause for a moment. “Really? That’s cool I guess. I didn’t think our school had boy cheerleaders.”

“We don’t,” I said flatly. “If fact, I need to borrow your old uniform.”

There was another pause. “That’s a girls uniform. I don’t understand.”

I hesitated a second. I thought she’d be more excited. “I’ve joined the girls cheerleading squad. I’m a legacy draft as it were.”

“That’s crazy, Ron,” said a confused sounding Janet. “Do I have this right? You’re going to be a girl cheerleader?”

I sighed. “I’m not going to be a girl. Just a girl cheerleader. And I need your uniform so I don’t have to buy another one.”

“Does Mom know about this?” asked my sister. “Does she approve?”

Frowning, I said with disgust. “She doesn’t care, Jan. I told her the other day I’d robbed a bank and she said ‘Don’t expect me to pay for a lawyer.’”

Janet exclaimed, “You robbed a bank?”

I scowled uselessly at the phone. “No doofus. It just shows she doesn’t care.”

Janet chuckled. “She probably didn’t believe you.”

Frustrated, I sighed. “Anyway! Can I borrow your uniform?”

Jan laughed. “It’s too big for you. But sure, okay. I can’t believe I’m letting my little brother borrow my cheerleader outfit.”

Smiling to myself, I said, “Thanks. Nova’s going to take it to a place to remove your name and embroider my name on it and to do some alterations.”

Jan grunted. “I should have known that little tart is behind this. Dad always thought you were a fairy.”

“I’m not a fairy! Sheesh!” I almost screamed. “Thanks for letting me borrow your uniform.”

Jan’s voice softened. “Hey, you’re welcome. And seriously, congratulations on getting on the squad. You’re going to love being a cheerleader. I know I did.”

“Well, seeing how popular you were and how happy you seemed to be after you became a cheerleader, made me want to be one too,” I confessed.

Janet laughed. “I’m sure being a cheerleader helped. But that was also when I finally grew tits.”

“I… uh… will probably skip that part,” I said regretting my confession.

“Well, I gotta run. Congrats again on making the squad,” said Jan sincerely. “Just be careful around the football team. I’m serious.”

I chuckled. “I’ll be careful.”

*          *          *

“Oh, hey Nova,” I said as I closed my locker. I just loaded my bag with my morning class’ books.

Smiling brightly, as any decent nova should, Nova said, “Hey Ronnie. Did your Mom sign your permission form?”

I patted my pocket. “I have it right here.”

Grinning, Nova said, “Cool. Did she say anything?”

I shrugged. “She called me a fairy. Other than that, she didn’t say anything.”

Nova frowned. “Well, that’s just rude. Did you tell your sister about becoming a cheerleader? Is she okay with you borrowing her uniform?”

I nodded. “She congratulated me and then called me a fairy. Actually, she and Mom both said Dad would call me a fairy.”

Nova shook her head. “I’m sure he’d be proud of you.”

I laughed. “I wouldn’t bet on that.”

Nova started to step back into the hall, “Well girl. I need to go. You’re joining the squad for lunch, right?”

Frowning at Nova, I said, “Quit saying that. I’m not a girl.”

Nova laughed. “You sure, Ronnie? I heard some boys this morning talking about the new cheerleader and how cute she is.

Feeling dismayed I said, “What the hell? How would anyone know? I agreed after school!”

Knitting her eyebrows together, Nova exclaimed, “Well, it wasn’t me! Anyway, at lunch you’re sitting with us, right?”

I hefted my book bag to my shoulder. “Actually, I like to read at lunch…”

Nova shrugged. “I’m not telling you what to do, Ronnie. But just to let you know, the girls all like to sit together.”

“I’ll consider that,” I said with a frown.

Before we separated, Bat came walking up to us. “Good morning, girls!” He chuckled. “Isn’t it a wonderful day?” He looked at me and smirked. “Hey, see you in PE.” He then hurried away.

Nova and I looked at each other and laughed. I had stopped by the school office first thing this morning and got my withdrawal slip from boys PE.

That morning, walking to my classes and even sitting in the classes seemed very different. Not all, but several kids would give me strange looks in the halls and after I sat down in class. How did the word get out that I’m now a cheerleader and assumed female? It’s not everyone, but I am getting questioning looks.

My third period class was PE. I rushed down the hall which fortunately wasn’t very far. The coach was talking to another student when I entered, slightly out of breath. With slip in hand, I walked up to the coach.

I said, “Hey coach…”

The coach didn’t turn towards me. He just said, “You’ll have to wait a second, Ron. Don’t be rude. He went back to talking to the other student.

A minute went by. I needed to get him the note so I could hurry to my new third period class. The principal was being a jack ass by dropping my seventh period study hall to give me the girls PE class. But for third period, she gave me a home ec class which I was about to be late to. I’ll need to see about getting that changed too.

Trying to sound urgent, I said, “Coach. I really need to talk to you”

Frowning, the coach said, “Just a minute, Ron.”

I saw Bat enter the boy’s gym and high five one of his minions. He saw me and grinned.

Finally, the coach turned to me and asked, “Okay, Ron. What’s so urgent?”

The coach looked confused for a moment when I handed him the drop slip. “I’m dropping your class, coach. That’s all you need from me, right?”

The coach looked at the paper and squinted at it. “You’re leaving us, bud? I can’t say I’m sorry to see you go, but you know PE is a graduation requirement. As far as I know, there aren’t any other openings. If there was, I would have made you another coach’s problem.” I hate coaches.

Bat bounded over to where coach and I were talking. Grinning, he said, “Ronnie here is the school’s newest cheerleader, coach.”

Coach frowned at Bat and said, “I’m in a conference with another student, Tony. Where do you get such nonsense anyway? There are no boy cheerleaders at our school.” He signed the slip and gave me the yellow copy.

“Thanks, coach.” I turned and hurried from the gym. As the door closed, I heard the coach laughing hard.

“Can I help you?” asked the teacher I interrupted by knocking on the door of my new Home Ec class. I looked around and there were no other boys in the class. Everyone was sitting in a big circle.

I handed the teacher the transfer slip. “I’m transferring to your class, ma’am.”

The teacher smiled at me. “Okay Ronnie. You can sit next to Stacy over there. I’ll have a workbook ready for you tomorrow. You’ll have some catching up to do.”

I heard a girl whisper, “What’s a boy doing in here?”

Another girl whispered, “That’s a boy?”

The teacher tapped a pencil on her podium. “Class. We have a new student joining us. Her name is Ronnie. Please help her feel welcome.” She went back to her lesson. Great. I’m a “her”. I’ll have to try to get a study hall or something to substitute. But then, if you don’t include me, the class is full of cute girls.

As I walked out of the lunch line with my proto-salad Nova caught my attention by waving. I already had agreed to eat lunch with all the cheerleaders. I chuckled to myself. Here I am complaining about having to eat lunch with who are presumably considered the prettiest girls at school. It would be cool if I wasn’t now considered to be one of them.

I sat down and smiled at my comrades in pom poms. “Hey everybody,” I said as I set my tray of salad down on the table. The other girls waved.

“Hey Ronnie,” said Nova. She looked at me curiously. “Any idea who let the cat out of the bag about you joining the cheerleaders? There’s some talk about it around school.”

I pointed across the lunchroom. “If I had to guess, it’s your future homecoming date.”

Nova twisted her face in disgust. “Don’t say that. And how would Bat know?”

I shrugged. “You know he sometimes dates that girl who is the office assistant a lot. You know those PE changes and whatever else they have to do had to go through the office.”

Nova speared some of her salad and said, “I didn’t think about that. That chick is a talker. I guess it doesn’t matter. Everyone will know for sure you’re a cheerleader on Friday.”

I chuckled. “’Everyone’ will know? That’s funny since I’m basically the invisible man here at the fabulous Gunther Toody High School.”

Nova giggled. “Well, girl get ready to start being noticed. Just ask the squad. Everyone knows who we are!”

I frowned. “I’m not a girl.”

Susan said, “That might be a tough sell after Friday.” The other girls nodded.

Nova said, “I just sent you a text of some items you need to have before Friday. I’ve also scheduled both of us for a salon appointment after school Thursday. Even though your hair is short, it’s longer than most guys and it needs a bit of styling. And we’ll get our nails done too.”

I had just brought up Nova’s text, but I looked over at her instead. “Are you serious?”

Nodding, Nova said, “Very. The stylist at the salon had done some really cute short styles. And please don’t get another haircut while you’re a cheerleader.”

Shaking my head, I looked back at Nova’s text. “Most of this is make-up. New shoes? My sister and I are very close in size, I might be able to use her shoes. And you want me to get my ears pierced?”

Nova laughed. “Well duh. It’s not that weird. Half the boys at school wear earrings.”

I set my phone down next to my tray and looked over the list again. “I don’t know about wearing make-up. Seems too girly.”

Nova shook her head and laughed again. “And wearing a short, skimpy dress isn’t? Make-up is part of the uniform, Ronnie. I’ll be over early Friday morning to do your make-up this once. So you need to make sure you have those items.”

Frowning, I said, “I think it’s silly, but okay.”

Nova swallowed the bite she took and then said, “So, what did they give you to replace boys PE?”

I sighed. “Home Ec.”

Nova’s face brightened. “That’s a good class. Anyone can benefit from the skills you can learn there. Plus you’ll learn how to bake which will be helpful when we bake cookies for the football team.”

I rolled my eyes. “Terrific.”

I ate silently for a few moments watching Coach Wallace, my now ex-boys PE coach get up from the teachers table along with Coach Stone, the other boys PE coach and baseball coach get up and start walking our way. As they got close to the table, Coach Wallace looked at me and said, “Hey there, Ron. Getting make-up tips from the other girls?” Both coaches chuckled.

Coach Stone asked, “Is this the um, boy you were talking about?”

I smiled at Coach Wallace and said, “As a matter of fact, Coach, I am. You know I just can’t ever get those wings straight when doing my eye-liner.” Nova tried to suppress a giggle.

Coach Wallace grinned and said, “Well son…and I use that word loosely, I think you’re better suited for girls PE anyway.”

Coach Stone said, “He seriously couldn’t throw a football?” Wallace nodded. Stone chuckled again.

As they were about to exit the lunchroom, Coach Martin hurried past our table and said, “Coach Wallace! We need to talk a minute.” All three exited the lunchroom and I couldn’t hear anything else.

“I hate coaches…” I mumbled to myself.

Steph said, “Coach will straighten those two out.”

Nova grinned and said, “I’ll help you with those wings when I come over Friday morning.”

I was just about to take a drink from my milk carton when my elbow was suddenly bumped hard and I spilled milk all over my tray and some on the table. “Hey!” I turned around and saw Bat standing there scowling at me.

Bat exclaimed, “Hey be careful. You could have gotten milk on me!”

“You bumped me!” I cried out. “I should…”

Bat glared at me while arching his eyebrows. “You should … what miss? You don’t have the stones to do anything!”

Three rather large boys, I think I recognized the football players, stopped on their way out of the lunchroom. One said, “What’s up there, Tony? Why did you deliberately hit her elbow? You knew it would cause a spill.” He referred to me as a her. But I wasn’t going to correct him.

Bat suddenly paled. He said, “Jeff! D…dude. Hey, you got me all wrong. I was just going to help clean up this mess. As my daddy always says, ‘No point crying over spilt milk’. Words to live by, don’t you think?” He grabbed several napkins from the dispenser on the table and began sopping up the milk on my tray and table.

Jeff folded his arms and stood close to the table. “We don’t like folks messing with our girls, Tony.”

Holding the soaked and dripping napkins, Bat nodded and said sheepishly, “Got it.” He turned to one of his friends next to him and said, “Let’s get out of here.” He hurried away.

I looked up at Jeff and said, “Hey, thanks man.”

Jeff smiled at me. “No problem.”

Smiling at Jeff, Nova said, “Yes, Thank you so much, Jeff.” Jeff nodded to her and she watched Jeff and his friends leave the lunchroom.

I looked down at my ruined lunch and asked, “Why the hell did I choose to be a cheerleader?”

Nova giggled. “Because it’s so much fun!”

*          *          *

To be continued…