I stood there like an idiot as they all walked over to the car.

Dad walked past me and got in the driver's seat.
"Clay Justin is going to ride to the restaurant with us" Mom said.

Justin smiled and we stood there for a few seconds before I turned to get in the suv.
The door was open so I climbed in and scooted over to the driver's side behind my dad.

Justin climbed in beside me.
"So whats up Clay?" He asked, kid sounded nervous for some reason.

I looked at him funny I'm sure at the time I was pretty dense as to what was going on.
"Nothing much just same old same old, how bout you?".

"Just waiting for tomorrow to be over I'm not too big on weddings" he said.
"Me neither buddy row" I laughed at that one.

I caught mom looking at me in the rearview mirror with a slight grin on her face.
"So Justin you got any plans for summer break?" Dad asked.

"No sir,I hope I can find a good summer job but here lately they've been slim" He said.
"Well you think you could handle a chainsaw?" Asked dad and I knew where this was going.

Dad hadn't filled my spot yet and was down a man. Justin is fit and tall and has a decent build on him thanks to being on the high school football team as a line backer but I still think he's too soft for that kinda work.

But then again who am I to talk.
"Yes sir I've used ours plenty in the past to help dad on the home place but I've never done it professionally before".

"Well son there's a first time for everything and I could really use the help. Me and the boys'll train you and I can pay you fourteen an hour".

"It's hard work but its honest work" dad said as we made it into town.
"I'll have to ask my folks but if they say yes I'll do,it beats washing cars all day" Justin said putting his arm on the seat behind me.

"Hey buddy, you mind?" I asked motioning to his arm.
"Oh sorry Clay" He kinda stammered as he moved his arm back beside him. I saw mom shake her head and smile for some reason.

We finally made it to the restaurant.
About the same time as everyone else and found us a good parking place.

Steve and Cheyenne went in and got us some tables moved around so we waited outside while they did that.

The whole time Justin was acting weird.
He was acting all nervous and seemed like he couldn't talk straight.

After a few minutes of chatting about fishing and hunting he seemed to relax a bit and soon the others came and got us.

After everyone was sat down and had gotten our orders we were just talking when Officer John Davis and his wife walked in and were brought to a seat on the other side of me in the booth behind Justin.

It took him a second but when he looked up and saw me I saw his jaw fall open in shock. Its like he couldn't take his eyes off of me.

It was kinda creeping me out.
We all made small talk and ate our food.
Every now and then I would catch John and Cathy glancing at me.

After all was said and done I got up and went to the bathroom.
When I came out John was standing there seemingly waiting on the mens room to open up.

"Hey officer Davis how are you tonight?" I asked.He smiled giving me a once over "I'm good how are you?".

"Ok I guess, just got through rehearsing for a wedding" I laughed.
He looked shocked for a second.
"You're getting married?" He asked.
"Ah... no no no my cousin Cheyenne is, if you can believe it she conned me into being one of her bridesmaids" I scratched the back of my head.

"Well, I'm sure you'll look great" he said souning very nervous for some reason.
"Ah... thanks. I guess" I said as I went to rejoin the others.

I could have sworn I saw a wetness in his eyes like he was holding back tears.
"Freaking weird?" I thought to myself as I made it back to my folks.

"Hey Clay a bunch of us are going out to the lake house this weekend after the wedding thought you and Abby would like to come hang out" Justin said as I came up.

"Oh yeah sounds fun I could use a brake from everything" I said without thinking.
Abigail had already agreed and was very excited cause she hadn't been swimming or on a boat since before the IED.

Justin left with his brother and honestly by the time we all got home I was dead tired.
As I was getting undressed Abby came in my room.

"Ahh... knock much?" I asked.
She stepped backwards into the hallway and knocked on the door frame.

"What do you want?" I asked.
"Well little sister I just want to ask if you know what you're going to wear at the beach house for your...... date?" She smiled.

"Ahhh.... the hell you been smoking?" I asked her.
"Oh come on you can't be that dense sis" she said plopping down in my rolling desk chair and doing a spin.

"What are you talking about I'm just going to hang out with friends and some family, a lot of our cousins are gonna be there too" I said as I pulled my flannel pajama top on over my head.

Abby layed a magazine she had brought with her on my bed.
"You need to read this magazine series its really helpful in figuring out this girl stuff".

"Maybe I don't want to "figure out" this girl stuff" I said making air quotes with my fingers.
"Well it will help you at least notice the signs of when a boy is interested in you" she said pointing to an article listing on the cover.

it read.
"Justin isn't interested in anything he's just trying to be a friend" I said laying on my bed.

"Bullshit Clay Justin was following you around like a lost puppy all night he obviously has a crush on you".

"Abby I'm a twenty seven almost twenty eight year old man and he has known me and our family forever there is no way in hell he has a crush on me" I giggled.

Abby got up and left the room for a moment, soon she returned and tossed something on my bed.
I reached around and grabbed it and it was a hand held mirror.

"Look at yourself and say "I'm a twenty seven year old man" with a straight face" She said mocking my air quotes as she said it.

I looked at myself and it was like a light switch went off.
"Oh my God he has a crush on me!" I screamed as I sat up.

At that moment things got quite again and I clearly heard dad say from the downstairs living room. "Seems she finally realized it" I heard mom snort and they started laughing as as everything went back to normal.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY YOU GUYS!!!" I yelled at them which caused them to giggle more as Abby gave me a strange look.

"I wasn't laughing?" She said.
"Not you, mom and dad" I huffed blowing hair out of my face as I plopped back onto my bed.

"How can I be so stupid?" I said pulling my pillow over my face.
"You're not stupid you're just inexperienced" abby laughed as she sat down beside me.

"And you are experienced?" I said.
She lay down beside me and stretched out.
"Well I have been researching it alot, how to act, how to behave and Stacy has been a wealth of information on the ins and outs not to mention all the YouTube stuff the information is out there" she sounded really happy.

"You really are gone aren't you?" I asked.
"What do you mean gone?" She said.
"Greg never would've acted like you're acting, he was manly and never had a girly bone in his body" I said.

"Clay, I'm still me I promise. I understand you're going through a difficult time but eventually you'll have to face the fact that physically you're not Clay anymore and you're gonna have to stop living in the past or it's gonna eat you up" she was talking softly.

"I hate this Greg, I hate my life and what it's become, I hate what I am,I'm a freaking monster" I was crying as I pulled myself up into the fetal position.

"Clay you're not a monster and all things considered you've got a great life. You have a mom and dad who love you, a big sister would break down the gates of hell for you. you have a good job with a roof over your head and you get to literally start over.Many people I have known over the years would kill to be us right now, I know I would've had it not happened to me" she was curled up beside me hugging me from behind.

"And just because you're a girl now dosen't make you a monster" she said.
"No, but killing a bunch of kids does" I blurted it out before I could stop myself.

I could feel Abby tense up.
"What... do you mean?" She asked her voice catching.
"I..... I.... I'm......" I couldn't bring myself to tell her.

"I'm sorry Abby but I can't, not right now" I sobbed as memories of that day came rushing back to me.

She just held me as I cried.
The shame and tourture I've felt all this time finally catching up to me, I hate this new body and its emotional instability.

"Clay I have known for a long time that something happened but If you don't want to talk about it that's fine. I just want you to know that I'm here and you can trust me" Abigail said as she hugged me tightly.

"I know. I'll tell you one day but, not now" . I said. We just lay like that listening to the sound of my air conditioner and box fan and soon I felt myself slowly drifting off to sleep.

("Reaper 1-1 this is Bulldog 2-6 over".
"Bulldog 2-6 this is Reaper go ahead over".

"Yeah, Reaper I've got a visual on a dark blue van driving towards our OP at a high rate of speed,there any friendlies in the area over?".

"Ahh... Negative bulldog that area should already be evacuated".
"Copy that Reaper stand by".)

The sun was shining through the window hitting my face as I woke up.
Sitting up I realized that Abby was still sound asleep sprawled out across my bed lightly snoring.

I eased out of bed and made my way downstairs towards the kitchen.
Mom was sitting at the counter drinking some coffee and surfing her tablet.

"Morning mom" I said as I grabbed my own cup.
"Morning Clay how did you sleep?" She asked as I sat down.

"Good I guess" I said taking a sip.
"Clay can I ask you a question?" Mom asked closing her tablet.

"Sure mom".
"I'm not being pushy am I?" She seemed nervous.
"Well a little, but I guess it's ok" I said looking down at my small dainty hands gripping my large Marine Corps mug.

"I'm sorry, I just got so excited when I saw you carrying that dress bag the other day I guess I got carried away and didn't even ask if you were comfortable with it" she was looking into her coffee cup.

"It's ok mom, It's not like I'd be able to ignore the obvious for ever".
"But you know you can say no right we'll figure something out?" Mom said looking at me.

"Mom it's ok, I've already worn the dress and it didn't kill me so I guess I'm committed. Maybe being a girl won't be that bad I just need to get use to it in my own time".Mom smiled.

"I just don't want you to feel rushed is all".
"I know, even though yesterday was scary and strange I actually kinda enjoyed it" I felt myself warming as the words left my mouth.

"You did?" Mom was looking at me.
"Well at first I was apprehensive but there were a few times where I actually felt, normal. It felt good to relax and just enjoy the moment".

"I'm happy to here that, honestly Clay I've been worrying about you constantly. Wondering is this the day I find your body where you've given up on us" Mom was starting to tear up.

"Oh mom no I promise you I will never do that too you or dad or anyone. This whole thing is just new and it's scary thinking about what the future holds but I just need to figure out my new place and it'll happen in time but I promise you don't have to worry about me like that" I said tearing up myself as I leaned over and hugged my mom patting her on the back".

"I'm so happy to hear that" she sobbed as she hughed me tight".

"I promise I'll figure this thing out one day mom.But I'm not dating Justin" I said flatly.
Mom chuckled while wiping her eyes"I never expected you to" she said as we broke apart laughing. "Me and your dad watched him following you around and staring at you like a love struck puppy and wondered how long it'd be before we had to save him from a butt kicking".

"Well you could have told me" I said groaning.
"Now what would be the fun in that" Mom laughed.

About that time dad cane in from the back door."morning son" he said.

At least someone treats me normal still.
"I'm gonna hang out here and work on Betty till you guys get ready and I'll meet you at the church" dad said.

"Betty" Is dad's project car, Nineteen sixty six Chevy Chevelle SS. It was dads dream car and he finally found a decent project over in Arizona the year before.

"Hey dad if you need some company I'll help" I said.
"Oh no you don't our salon appointment is at nine and if we're lucky they'll get us done in time to not be rushed getting to the church and finishing getting ready" Mom said.

"It can't take that long the wedding doesn't start till six tonight" I laughed which got a funny look from mom.

"Oh sweetie you're going to learn about what you've been missing out on all these years now skedaddle on upstairs and get something comfortable on and no tight T-shirts you'll need something you can take off without messing up your hair or makeup" mom said ushering me and Abby who had literally just arrived in the kitchen, back upstairs.

I was standing in my room trying to figure out what to wear cause all I had were hanes work Tshirts so I didn'thave anythingto wear.

I knew what I had to do.
I walked down the hall to Abby's room and knocked.

She opened the door.
"Hey whats up?" She asked standing there in her bra and panties.
Before my change seeing, well when I was a teenager "I don't want to sound too much like a creeper" a girl as pretty as Abby standing there like she was would have gotten my motor running.

But standing there I didn't feel anything, nothing at all. She was just, my sister now.
"Ah.. I don't have any loose shirts" I said.

"Oh well come on in and I'll help you find something" she said.
I walked in and saw how much my brothers old room had changed.

The room still had the same paint and blue carpet but there were some decorations that pretty much let you know this was definitely now a girls room.

She was looking through her closet.
She didn't have a large wardrobe but it was definitely bigger then mine. She got an employee discount at the shop she worked at and the other regular clothing shops that Mrs. Sally also owned so her collection had grown a bit.

"I don't have any clean blouses at the moment. Here" she said grabbing a hanger that had a shirt and some other stuff on it.

"I pre make my outfits for the week so all I have to do is grab a hanger here's a light tank top that's easy to get on and off wear what you want and if you need any shoes just grab a pair" she said handing me the hanger and pointing towards the row of shoes lined up neatly along the wall before returning to her closet and grabbing another hanger.

Greg had always been a bit of a neat freak even when we were kids so this didn't surprise me at all.

I walked back to my room and lay the outfit on my bed. I pulled the shirt off the hanger "Sublime" haven't listened to these guys in a while. I thought.

I was going to just grab a pair of jeans and my work boots when I took stock of the other articles of clothing on my bed.

I picked up the denim shorts and looked at them and then the black tights that were also on the hanger. Then I looked at myself in the mirror.
I had seen Abby in this outfit before and honestly she looked great. She's only slightly taller then me but for the most part me and her are the same clothing size.

I looked around as curiosity got the best of me.like a naughty little kid about to do something she's not supposed to I stripped down to my underwear. First the tights, then the short shorts and finally the shirt.

"Wow I look pretty cute" I can't believe the words had just come out of my mouth but they did. I was standing there twisting and turning as I looked at myself when suddenly the door that I had forgotten to lock opened up.

"Hey clay do you st......"Abby looked at me and a huge smile came to her face.
She stepped back shut the door and then knocked. Abby had been working on regaining her manners for a while but even before her change and everything else knocking wasn't her strong points.

When we were kids Greg was like another family member and when he'd come over there was never a need for knocking or anything and as they say old habits die hard.

I walked over and slowly opened my door.
"Ah... yes?" I could tell I was as red as a tomato.
"I was gonna see if you still had my ear buds" she was smiling.

"Ah...I think they're in moms car".
"Oh ok, the boots I usually wear with that outfit go best with it" she said as she walked towards the stairs.

Abby was wearing a pair of denim shortalls a Nirvana Tank top and a pair of white converse sneakers.

I closed my door and started looking at myself in my mirror. I had to admit I had the legs for it.

I walked over to Abby's room and found the brown two inch buckled ankle boots that Abby usually wore with the outfit.

I sat in her desk chair and put them on.
As I sat there I got a funny tingly feeling as I rubbed my tights covered legs together.

I just sighed as I stood up.
The shoes had a normal boot heel so they weren't hard to walk in and I had to admit they really made the outfit.

About that time Abby came in her room and smiled when she saw me.
"My little sister is finally coming out of her shell" she said as she walked over to her makeshift vanity over on the mirror dresser and grabbed her purse.

"You ready or have you changed your mind?" She asked.
I took a deep breath.

"I'm ready" I smiled.
"Yippee" she said with a little jump then giving me a quick hug before walking out.

I followed behind her down the stairs and mom was already to go. She looked up at us and smiled as she motioned towards the door.

I had to admit that this outfit felt a lot cooler then what I was use to a lot less restrictive and lighter if you will.
Not long after we were on our way to the beauty salon that Cheyenne had booked our appointments at.

Mom and Abby made small talk. Every now and then they would ask my opinion on something but for the most part I was left to my own thoughts.

I kept looking at the clothes and admiring the different feelings. I had never worn anything like this other then the night before but with everything going on I didn't have time to really take stock of things. I never felt both covered and exposed at the same time before but honestly I liked this. It was hard to admit but I actually liked the feeling. The snug and loose, warm and cool, my exposed skin it was all so new.

We soon arrived at the salon and walked inside. As I walked in I saw someone I hadn't seen in weeks.

My ex girlfriend Heather .
She saw me about the same time and I saw the look of pain on her face.

Me and her had been together for almost three years and we did love each other.
But after the change there was no longer any attraction.

We tried one night, a few days after my change but it was just way too awkward. Neither one of us had any idea what to do. Even after watching a video we found out very quickly that neither one of us are lesbians.

There just wasn't anything down that road anymore so we just decided to be friends instead.I could tell she was still heart broken. Her sister drunk called me one night to cuss me out blaming me for changing like I did and hurting her sister.

Megan has always been a lightweight, three or four beers and she's gone for the night so I just let her ramble.

It hurt me to hear how she was crying every night though.
She walked over to me.
"Hey Clay how have you been?" She said giving me a quick hug.

"I'm ok I guess just learning how to handle this mess" I said nervously scratching the back of my head.

"Well from the looks of things you seem to be doing very well" she smiled
"It's definitely different. So are you working here now?" I asked.

"Yep, going on my second week" she sounded happy.
"So what brings you in today?" She asked.
"You know my cousin Cheyenne right?"

"Yes I remember her".
"Well she roped me into being one of her bridesmaids".
"Wow thats awesome, it's really fun..... being a bridesmaid" she sounded happy and sad at the same time.

Not long after we arrived the other girls started to arrive as well.
I just kinda sat there waiting for my turn as the other ladies were just chatting.

I found myself watching their mannerisms and how they moved.
The subtle jesters an hand movements.
The smells and sounds it was just an interesting experience. The funny part was I didn't feel out of place.

I found myself laughing at the conversation and actually giving my awkward at times two cents from a former male perspective.
Mom was right I have a lot to learn about all this.

After a while it was finally mine and Abby's turns in the chairs.
Abby was as giddy as, well you know....

I was taking it with a grain of salt still but I was trying to relax and enjoy the experience.

I had already had my nails painted.
All I can say is when it came to the pedicure foot bath and scrub I had no idea why I never knew about such a thing.

I had to go into the bathroom to take off the tights I was wearing and that made me a little irritated but dang was it worth it.

So there I sat with my fingernails done in what they called french tips and my toenails painted to match my hair.

"So what are we doing high and tight, buzz cut?" I asked in a serious tone.
"Ah... clay we ca...."

"Mom I'm kidding,yesh relax" I giggled which caused Heather who was about to do my hair to also laugh.

"So what do you want" Heather asked looking over my shiny aqua blue mane.
"I honestly don't know so what ever you think will look the best" I said.

"That will work for me as well Heather" Mom said.
"Ok then lets see what we can do here".
She studied my hair for a few minutes, she looked on her phone and pulled out some type of manual and just really looked me over good.

"Ok your hair is pretty, but there is way too much blue" She said.
"Gee I haven't noticed" I said in mock surprise.

"So what I am thinking is we go with a half up half down waterfall with a cross braid and we color this lower portion ice white" she said showing me a picture on pinterest.

It looked really nice and it would actually break up the solid blue and make it to where I wouldn't stand out so much.

"Looks good to me" I said.
"That's very pretty Heather but do we have time?" Mom asked.

It was almost one o'clock.
"Oh yes we have plenty of time but we need to get started now" she said.

So thats how it went.
After my hair was done I was brought over to the makeup counter and had my makeup done.

It was tasteful with hints of this and that which accentuated my different characteristics.

Mom was almost ready to cry when she saw the final results. Mom like most women has always wanted a daughter.
I know that's kinda cliche but its the truth.

I was still a tad bit uncomfortable at that time but seeing the absolute pure joy on her face made my heart melt.
I was actually glad I had agreed to do this.

I looked in the mirror.
I know I'm still me, but I also know that I'm gonna have to learn to also be the girl standing there in the mirror.

This whole time Cheyenne had been in the bridal room at the back of the shop and none of us had seen her.

But oh my God when she came out of that room I can only say the word angel.
She had a long flowing ponytail curled and twisted into an extremely beautiful updo with flowers and bands and just wow.

Her makeup was absolutely flawless and the white sun dress she was wearing matched it perfectly. Needless to say no one was out doing this bride on her special day.

Well after all was said and done we still had two hours to finish getting ready. The actual wedding wouldn't start till six but all the guests were gonna start arriving around five so we needed to get there and get dressed and everything before hand.

Mom couldn't stop gushing about how beautiful her girls "me and abby" looked and how she couldn't wait to see us all dolled up.

I have to admit their excitement was contagious cause I soon found myself also becoming excited to see what the final result would be once I was all dressed up.

Who would have ever thunk it right?