"Please, please kill me" I groaned feeling like a dog was knawing on my insides.

"I....I think I want to go back to the bed" Abby said into her pillow.

"Oh get up you babies" Mom said walking into the den where we had been dying for the last several hours.

We knew it was coming,moms doctor had confirmed it but good god what did I do to deserve this torment?

"Come on Girls we have work to do today' since you ain't helping dad today then you will be helping me so come on get up" mom said opening the curtains and turning off the TV right as Bill Dance dragged a nice looking bass fish out.

"What are we doing"? I asked as I stood up.
"I have been asked to help get the church ready for your Cousin Cheyenne's wedding this weekend".

I groaned internally at the prospect of spending what should have been a work day helping with a wedding.

I wanted to go to work but mom made me stay home for my first "visit", as she called it. It sucks cause Dad had just let me get back to work in the last week.
I'm a lot smaller now so I'm mostly running equipment and gofer work. I tried to do my other job but these scrawny arms are nothing like what I use to have. So lugging around a fourty pound chain saw and the other gear was too much so dad put me to work loading trucks,running the skidder or going into town if we needed parts or something.

It was pretty awkward at first but the guys do their best to act like nothing has changed. Dad seems to worry more about me then he use to. I honestly hate that I feel more like a burden then an asset to the company.

"Clay I want you to go in your truck that way if we need to haul something we'll have it, Abby do you want to ride with me or Clay?"

"I'll ride with Clay" she said grabbing her purse.
I grabbed my keys and was about to walk out the door when I heard mom whistle.
I turned and she was holding my bag, I won't call it a purse even though thats basically what it is.

Its a small denim bag that mom and Abby had bought me on one of their mother daughter outings.

They keep trying to get me to go but I have work and other things to do.
I walked over and tentatively took it from her.
"You have extras inside along with some pads if you need them you're gonna need to remember to grab this from now on cause there is nothing more embarrassing then being caught without the essentials during these times" mom said as she used her fist to push my shoulder a little.

"Come on lets go"She said as she grabbed her things and started out the door.
Abby had already went out to my truck and was standing next to it looking at her phone as I walked out the door and down the stairs.

"Hey Clay come on its hot"! She hollered.
She was wearing a white sleeveless shirt with a black rose design up one side of it and daisy dukes with some white converses.

I was wearing my usual jeans and plain hanes Tshirt with my work boots.I have taken to wearing my hair in a simple ponytail. I wanted to get it cut down to a high and tight but mom wouldn't let me. Its still a lot better then it was now that instead of hanging down past my butt it now rest mid back.
Still blue though...

Anyway we hopped into the truck and I fired it up, whomever invented air conditioning is the earth's greatest treasure.

It was currently eighty seven degrees with a humidity level of seventy percent. "So you guys couldn't have done all this without me"?

"Well most likely, I honestly don't have any idea what goes into this but according to your mom we'll need your truck at some point to get a trailer from the wedding rental place. but for the most part we're gonna be cleaning the church up today".

"Great, I feel like crap and I get a day off but instead of kicking back at the house I get to sweep,mop and scrub stuff down"I huffed, yeah huffed like some teenage girl. Cringe much.

"Cranky aren't we"? Abby said cocking her head to the side with a grin".
"Oh shut up you were just as cranky this morning" I fired back.

"Well yes but I needed the shower and you were taking forever"!
"Well.. ah it takes me a minute ok I'm still freaked out about all this and it takes me a minute to get the muscles to cooperate ok" shit why am I crying i thought as I wiped my eyes with my fore arm.

I looked over and saw Abby holding a tissue with a somber smile on her face.
"I'm sorry I didn't mean to make you upset I know how hard this is for you and I'll try to be more patient" I took the tissue from her.

"Thanks" I said wipeing.
"But the next time you take forty five minutes to use the bathroom I'm taking the door off the hinges" she said as she sat back and went back to whatever she was doing on her phone.

"I don't think mom would like that"I said turning on Gilbert Rd.
We soon pulled up to the church and mom pulled in behind us.
About that time Steven my cousins soon to be husband came walking out.

"Hey ladies how are yall today?" he smiled.
Its strange the last time I met this kid I was a full head taller then him and now its the other way around.

"Oh we're fine and how are you" mom said as she walked up and handed him some bags she was carrying.

"Well ahh...ha just a bit nervous but thats expected I guess " he laughed nervously.
We walked inside the reception hall behind the church and Aunt Melinda came walking over to us.

"I am so glad you're here we have a lot to do today and Clay thank you for bringing your truck Stevens brother Is using his today and we need to go get the stuff from the wedding rental place in town, I'll ride with you and your mom and Abigail can help Cheyenne get things dusted off and swept is that ok?"

"Ahh sure I'll do that you gonna be ok mom?"
"Yes we're fine yall hurry back now" Mom said as her and Abby walked towards the kitchen in the back.

"Alright kiddo lets go" aunt Melinda said as she slapped me on the back.
We got in my truck and were soon heading to town.

It was awkwardly quiet for the first few minutes as we rode in silance. I was just about to turn the radio on when aunt Melinda spoke.

"Soo... how ya been?"
"Ahh... ok I guess im on my period apparently so that kinda sucks" I felt embarrassed as soon as I revealed that tidbit of information.

"Oh I see, well yes it does but its a part of the package you'll get use to it in time" she was looking out the window.

"Other then that how are you handling the change?"

For you're information Aunt Melinda is a clinical psychologist and a professor at o'l miss university in Mississippi and I was willing to bet mom put her up to ask all these questions.

"Mom ask you to check on me?I asked keeping my eyes on the road.

She sighed "You have always been a sharp one Clay, Yes she asked me to see how you're doing. Are you ok what is said between us stays between us" she placed her hand on my arm I had on the console.

"I'm trying, I just don't know what to think I mean, my whole life has changed literally overnight and most people are just acting like its no big deal".

"What do you mean?"

"Well. I'm a freak and no one is acting like it, people are just walking on egg shells trying not to say the wrong things or do something weird but they are so obvious about it I mean people I've known my entire life are treating me like a complete stranger."

"Oh sweetie you are not a freak, you've just gone through a major trauma and you don't know how to cope and thats completely understandable".

"Listen Clay Its not just you whose gone through this, its a big change for everyone and its gonna take time for things to return to some semblance of normalcy."

"But you are not a freak, I know you Clay you're just like your dad, even when we were kids and growing up Bill always tried to act like dad, what Bill didn't understand and neither did I is the reason grandpa was like he was was because of his experiences in Nam" .

"Dad held everything in and viewed it as his burden and no one else needed to be bothered by it" she looked at me like a mother talking to a hurt child.

"Clay the reason I mention this is I want you to know you don't have to be like that, you have people you can talk to it's ok to cry and let it out you don't have to shoulder your burdens alone".

"I don't do that aunt Mel" I said feeling the water works wanting to turn on.
She gave me that knowing look she's famous for ,Aunt Mel is a sharp one and has a bullshit meter like no one I've ever known.

I know she was right I even knew it then but I wasn't willing to admit it to myself or her.

"Clay, I remember the time you first left for Iraq I remember the person you were the smile you always had and I remember seeing you when you got back the person who walked off that plane was completely different".

"Its fine, I'm fine and I'm still me I don't need you dragging up the past ok" I snapped a little.

"I'm sorry Clay, you're right I shouldn't have brought it up, I just want you to know if there is anything you want to talk about I'm only a phone call away" she sat back in her seat and looked out the window.

It was silent the rest of the trip, She was right though. I wasn't the same person when I got back. A lot of things can happen in fourteen months especially in a war zone.
Iraq had been my first, I saw things and did things that I wish I could forget but like a tattoo they are permanently etched into my brain. I can still taste that hell hole, I sometimes still feel the heat and smell the smells.

I'll be doing a random task and out of the blue I smell blood or gun powder. It just stays with you.

We eventually arrived at the rental place.
We walked inside and up to the counter.
"Can I help you" this teenage girl asked as we approached. She was scrolling her phone and looked like she would rather be getting her teeth pulled then sitting in that chair.

"I'm here to pick up the Andrews rental" Aunt Mel said.
The girl typed on her computer for a few seconds "Trailer seven Its got everything you ordered and if there is anything missing just let us know and we'll send someone to bring it to you free of charge" the girl said as she handed aunt Mel a key with a number seven tag on it.

We left the building and out in the parking lot to one side were three enclosed trailers each with a large number sticker on the front and right next to number 2 was number seven.

It took a minute to get the trailer hooked up to my truck, my truck has a four inch lift and thirty five inch tires so we had to jack the trailer up as high as it would go but it still wasn't high enough as this trailer was kinda low to the ground possibly a car hauling trailer being used for the wrong profession.

Ended up having to go across the road to Auto zone and get a drop hitch.
By the time we had the trailer hooked up both of us were sweating and hot.

So we decided that a large ice cold drink from the sonic was in order.
I pulled up and Aunt Mel decided it would be her treat so she went to go get them.

While she was gone my mind wandered thinking about what she had said earlier.
She is right that its good to talk to someone. As you can guess I'm not the best at such things but I figured maybe it wouldn't hurt to give it a try.

After all was said and done we headed back to the Church. We ended up listening to the radio to help break up the awkwardness.

We pulled into the parking lot and I backed up to the door and cut my truck off.
Aunt Mel went to get out but I stopped her.

"I'm sorry about earlier, I know what you were trying to say and I shouldn't have snapped at you like that".

She smiled and nodded "It's ok, I should have been a bit more professional about it instead of treating you like my nephew".

"Come on lets go I have a daughter to get hitched" she smiled.
Aunt Mel has always been a character, upbeat and happy the type of person its almost impossible to frown around.

I got out and opened the back door of the trailer. They weren't kidding this thing was packed.

Aunt Mel took charge and told me, abby and Steven where she wanted what while mom and Cheyenne took care of dusting and mopping.

This is an old church and most of the people are older and they rarely use the event hall anymore so it sits empty unless there's a wedding or funeral or something.

Its pretty clean for the most part but dust is always an issue no matter what you do when a place sits for long periods of time.
We were about half way through when another car pulled up.

It was my aunt Brenda my dads oldest sister. Mom sent me and Abby out to see if she needed help.

"Oh Abigail aren't you just the cutest thing today" she said as she opened the back of her van.

"Clay" she nodded at me when I rounded the corner behind Abby.
Aunt Brenda is still pissed at me for knocking her youngest son Kyle out at our family reunion the year before.

Well I wouldn't really say she's pissed at that part it may have been me calling her a very bad name and calling her a useless parent.
I ain't gonna lie I was a bit drunk myself but nowhere near that idiots level of intoxication.

Kyle was only sixteen but drunk and being an ass he kept Harassing my girlfriend so I knocked the crap out of him.

Then Aunt Brenda got involved and things just went south from there, to say there's some bad blood would be a bit accurate.

Speaking of Kyle I had to snicker when I saw the little girl in the blue rainbow dash tshirt and denim shortalls slunk around from the other side of the car.

Kyle had underwent the same change as me and Abby a few days after us but he got it a lot worse. Where we are at least teenagers he's more little girl if I had to guess personally I would say seven or eight and the long pink hair is just a cherry on top of a Karma sunday as far as he's concerned.

Kyle has always been an ass hat, in and out of jail, drugs, drinking and fighting you name it he's been in trouble for it. Like a few months earlier he got mad at his last girlfriend and hit her at the local skating rink. In addition to being jumped and rolled by about eight other guys. He was sentenced to six months house arrest and had just gotten off before he changed.

Honestly even though we're in the same boat I personally can't say I feel bad for him. I never understood how he could be like this while his brother Tyler is the complete opposite. Straight A student, Eagle Scout and is currently a Second lieutenant in the Army.

I know theres twelve years between them but still to be two completely different people is just weird.

"Hey Kaylie" I snikkered a bit and waved.
"Hey don'tcall me that assh........ ouch ow ow mom stop....!

Aunt brenda had grabbed him by the ear,"What have I told you about that mouth of yours"?

"I'm sorry mom please let go I won't do it again stop"!
"I failed you the first time around and I'll be damned if I'm gonna repeat the same mistakes" Aunt brenda said dragging him off towards the building.

"Poor kid"Abby said as she grabbed some of the grocery bags.
"Nah a little discipline will do him some good" I chuckled as I grabbed a box with some bread and sweet items.

"I wonder if she would notice if that red velvet cake was missing" abby said looking over into my box" she grinned like the Cheshire Cat and I had to bat her hand away as we walked back in the church.

We walked in and I noticed that "Kaylie" was sitting in a chair facing the corner after a second I also noticed the bar of soap in her mouth.

Man aunt Brenda wasn't kidding, from what I had seen over the years she had always been kind of a doormat for most people, shy and timid the rarely spoke up when she needed to type.

She got lucky with Tyler he was a golden child but Kyle was a different story. He had always treated his mom like a door mat and knew he would get away with it cause of her don't rock the boat nature.

His dad had been killed in a car accident when he was seven and he just went wild after that useing it as an excuse for his bad behavior, yeah tough on a kid I know but its still no excuse for the way he's behaved over the last ten years. Aunt Brenda was always either too afraid or just didn't have it in her to discipline him.

But after his last run in with the law something in her snapped and she had found a back bone. I had heard a rumor that she had beaten him up one night not long before the change but I don't know if she did or not.

We brought the groceries to the kitchen area and helped mom and Cheyenne set things out.

The wedding was in three more days and dress rehearsals were the next day so a lot of stuff had to be done in a short amount of time.

They were going to have the wedding at this really fancy place up in Tennessee. It was an old Antebellum home that overlooked a large lake and was all inclusive. Basically everything would have been taken care of without all the fuss.

Sounds like it would have been nice at least it was till a bridezilla kicked over some candles and caught the place on fire and burned half the house down.

Either way with a ton of relatives and friends already taking the time off to come they couldn't postpone and Gilbert Baptist Church was the only place with a last minute opening.

But what really sucks about it is, I could have been home all day.
Mom and the ladies including Abby started cooking and preparing stuff while me and Steven finished setting up the rest of the hall.

We were hanging lights up when I heard someone make that grunt people make when they are trying to get your attention.

I turned to see Aunt Brenda and Kyle standing there Aunt Brenda was standing behind him with her hands on his shoulders.

"Kyle would like to say something" she said giving his shoulders a squeeze.

"I would like to apologize for what I said earlier" I could tell his heart wasn't exactly in it but it was still satisfying to watch him squirm.

"It's ok Kaylie" I smiled knowing that got under his skin.

"Please don't call me that" he made a face like he was gonna barf.
"Why not I think Kaylie is a perfect new name for you" Aunt Brenda said.

"Mom please I'll do anything" he was pleading.
"I've been trying to think of a new name for you ever since you changed and I think Kaylie Elizabeth Waterhouse Has a really nice ring to it" aunt Brenda was smiling.

Kyle, well Kaylie started looking back and forth between the two of us. I didn't mean to give him a new name I was just messing with him but thats the short and skinny of how I unknowingly gave my cousin a new name.

The rest of the day was spent setting up the main church and the reception hall all while getting death glares from the pink haired one.

I helped My uncle lonny set up his sound equipment and the last bit was getting the tables and chairs set up and we were done.

I was ready to leave, I was tired and ready for a nice long shower but I couldn't find Abby.

I walked into the church and heard some talking in one of the back rooms so I walked over and heard Cheyenne talking to someone.

"I understand its a lot to ask but Steven has eight groomsmen and I only have four bridesmaids".

"Its ok I understand, Personally I'm kinda interested to see what its like but I can tell you for sure that Clay wouldn't be interested" I heard Abby say.

Good to know she has my back, I thought.
"Well I would ask her but I don't know how to go about it so I was wondering if you could ask her for me" Cheyenne sounds desperate.

"Like I said I'm ok with it but if you want to ask Clay just ask him the worst he could say is no" Abby said.

I was still standing out in the hall way it didn't take a rocket scientist to figure out what she was wanting of me.

I walked into the room and Cheyenne had her back towards me.
"What would you like to ask?" I said.

She turned around and I could tell I caught her off guard.
Cheyenne has always been jumpy, shy and not very confident.

"Ah... well you see I ah... I was wondering since I only have four bridesmaids and .....

"You're wanting to know if I'd be one for you?"

"Yes, clay I know its a lot to ask and I know its only been a little over a month since you changed but It would really mean a lot to me".

"I'm sorry but I just don't feel comfortable with that" I said.
"I know that but other then Jenifer and Lisa I don't have anymore girl cousins and I had to bribe Jennifer's friend Rebecca to be number four and my mom is my maid of honor".

"What about those two girls you use to hang with all throughout school"?

"Vicky is pregnant and due any day now and Ginger is working in Europe and can't make it please Clay I need you, I feel like such a loser and I...." she was really putting on her hurt puppy face.

Cheyenne didn't have very many friends growing up she's only four years younger then me and Abby but she use to tail us all the time when we were kids and use to tell people we were her big brothers.

Even though she has always been pretty she is just awkward and geeky and never was very sociable.

"Cheyenne I understand you want this but I mean wouldn't it take a while to get the clothes and stuff I mean the weddings in three days and I remember the crap show it was when your sister Becky got married and all the bridesmaids dresses that were delivered were the wrong type"... I figured I was safe with this argument.

I knew if I didn't defuse the situation I was gonna be guilted or begged into one of those things.

"Well about that......" Cheyenne had a small grin on her face.

"I might have gotten yours and Abby's sizes from your mom...he he".
"I ah...already have the dresses" she said walking over to a chair and picking up two long bags.

She handed one to abby and then walked over to me and held it out.

"Ahh Cheyenne I really....
"Please Clay, You've never let me down in the past you've always been there when I needed you and I really need my big brother now" that look, that damn look.

I slowly took the bag from her.
She smiled and hughed me "thank you bro".

"Shoes are in a bag at the bottom" she said as she walked out of the room leaving me and Abby alone obviously not giving me a chance to come up with another argument.

"Did that really just happen?" I Asked her.
"Cheer up, this seems like it'll be fun" she smiled and we started to walk out.

As we left the church my mom was going to her car and saw us.
"Clay Abby over here"she waved us over.

We walked over and she looked at us and suddenly got a big smile on her face.
"What are those"?

I didn't know what to say.
"Bridesmaids dresses" Abby said.

Why is mom smiling at me like that?
"Mom?"