Sides
by Melanie Brown
Copyright  © 2021 Melanie Brown

Jerry has to figure out what side he's on.

 

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“Thanks, Steve.” I said with a smile to my best friend after he bought a candy bar from me. To help me make ends meet, I’d taken a campus job at a snack kiosk.

Marcie, my kiosk co-worker and newly acquired friend watched Steve as he walked away. She grinned at me and said with a twinkle in her eye, “He likes you.”

I shrugged. “I’ve known him since the third grade.”

Still grinning, she nudged me with her elbow. “I think he likes you.”

I shook my head at her. “You’re crazy. I know some folks get confused by me, but like I said. We’ve known each other since the third grade. He knows I’m a boy. Even back in middle school, he protected me from the bullies when my medical condition somehow got out.” Some would say I’m only a boy academically. I have no testicles. They never formed for some reason so my body naturally produces more estrogen than testosterone. My voice never changed. I have no facial hair. My jaw line is smoother and more rounded than most guys. My hips are a bit wider and I’ll be damned if I’m not starting to grow breasts. Small, but a bit noticeable. I have to sit to pee as my privates have shrunk so much, there’s nothing to pull out.

Marcie gave me a knowing look. “He protected you? He wouldn’t do that if he didn’t like you.”

I frowned as I took a rag to clean off the counter top. “He feels sorry for me. I don’t think he likes me in the way you’re suggesting.”

Marci shook her head. “Oh no? He comes to this kiosk every day to buy a snack. He could buy a bag of snacks at the grocery store, but he comes here… where you are. If you’re busy with another customer, he just looks around the kiosk until you’re free. I’ve even asked him if he was ready to check out and he always says no until you’re free to check him out.”

I laughed. “I don’t think you have enough to do. I’m going to talk to the manager.”

Marcie raised her eyebrows along with her voice. “I’m serious! You should ask him out.”

Horrified, I asked, “Like on a date? Are you crazy? Steve doesn’t date boys. Besides, it should be the boy that asks for a date, not the… the… um”

Grinning, Marcie asked, “Not the girl? Did you just admit to being a girl?”

I frowned deeply. “No I did not. And will you stop? I don’t look anything like a girl.”

Marcie laughed. “Seriously? Look at you! Your delicate features, your cute little nose, your hair…”

Still frowning, I interrupted, “My hair is short.”

Marcie shook her head. “It’s not long like mine, but it’s a little longer than most boys and the way you comb it… or rather not comb it, it looks very feminine. Jerry, I think it’s time to switch sides.”

Horrified again, I almost shouted, “Switch sides? Are you crazy? I’m not a girl. I look nothing like a girl.”

Marcie shook her head wearing a cat that ate the canary expression. “Do you have any idea how many guys ask me if you’re single? I’m being serious. I tell them you’re in a relationship so they don’t bother you. But seriously, about six or seven boys at least ask about you every week.”

Mortified, I said, “That’s insane. Stop making stuff up.”

Looking very serious, Marcie held up her hand in an attempt at a scout salute. “As God is my witness, Jerry, I’m telling you the truth. Have you not looked in a mirror lately? Girl, you’re really cute.”

I slapped my palm on the glass counter top. “Enough! I’m not a girl. And I’m not dating a guy.”

Marcie shrugged. She grabbed the broom and began sweeping the kiosk’s floor. “Hey, I think Steve is cute. I’d definitely date him. Several of my friends have tried flirting with him, but he never asks any of them out.”

Straightening the inventory, I shrugged, “Maybe he’s not interested in girls. It’s possible, you know.”

Marcie stopped sweeping and smiling knowingly at me. “He’s interested in girls alright. I’ve seen him looking at me and others. But he definitely has his heart set on one special girl.”

I stood up straight and folded my arms. “Will you please stop? Let’s talk about your favorite topic – Korean boy bands. I have to admit I like that new song by BTS.”

Marcie just chuckled.

*          *          *

The next day was crazy busy. It was almost non-stop as mid-terms were coming up and it seemed like everyone was loading up on paper, extra pens and snacks. I was busy with a customer and didn’t see Steve walk up. I turned to Marcie and asked, “You mind if I take my lunch break now? I haven’t even been able to pee yet.”

Marcie turned around to look at me and grinned. That’s when I saw Steve standing next to me. Steve looked at me and asked, “Heading to lunch?”

I nodded to Steve. “Yeah. I was just going to run over to Spanky’s across from the campus main entrance. There shouldn’t be a crowd there yet.”

Looking a bit lonely, Steve asked, “Mind if I tag along? I haven’t been to Spanky’s since last Spring. They have great burgers.”

I shrugged. “I guess so. It’s been a while since I’ve been there too.” I turned to Marcie. “I’ll try not to take too long.”

Marcie was grinning at me. “No problem. Take as long as you need.” I just shook my head at her.

I looked over at Steve. “Well, let’s go.”

We walked in silence for a minute or two. As we exited the building, without turning his head towards me, Steve asked, “So, Jerry. Is this your last semester here?”

I raised my arms up in a gesture of victory. “One more after this one and then I’m done.”

Steve continued to look ahead. “Cool. What are you majoring in?”

I shrugged as I stuck my hands in my pockets. “English.”

Steve looked at me sideways. “Going to be a teacher?”

I shook my head. “Naw. I want to be a writer. I figure on writing that one big novel and cinch a movie deal.”

Steve chuckled. “And until you get the movie deal?”

I laughed and looked over at Steve. “Flipping burgers. I don’t think you ever told me your major.”

Steve shrugged. “No big deal. I’m going into molecular biology.”

I chuckled. “Yeah. That was my second choice. What are your plans for right after graduation?”

Steve looked over at me and grinned. “Flipping burgers.”

We paused at the light. Our destination was just across the street. I glanced over at Steve. I never really noticed before since it’s not like we stand next to each other every day, but he was a good head taller than me. While certainly not a body builder type, I could tell Steve keeps his muscles tone. And I’ll grant what Marcie was saying how cute he was. Honestly, I’m surprised he doesn’t have several girlfriends.

The light changed and I started to step off the curb when Steve grabbed my hand and pulled me back as a pickup track blasted through the red light in front of me.

Still holding my hand, Steve gave a low whistle and said, “Geesh, that was close. That fucking idiot.” He looked over at me and smirked, “Didn’t your mamma teach you to look both ways?”

I looked up at Steve with a sheepish expression. “I know. I was lost in thought.”

Smiling at me, Steve said, “Well pay attention! I want to read your novel someday.”

I grunted a laugh. “Me too.”

I was shocked he held my hand all the way across the street, only letting go when we stepped up on the opposite curb. He didn’t seem conscious of doing it. I felt a little weird with him holding my hand and was relieved when he let go.

There was a short line in Spanky’s. I didn’t mind as it gave me a moment to study the menu on the wall. I couldn’t decide if I wanted a burger or chicken strips. It was too early to have to make such a life decision. I was behind Steve and he told the girl at the cash register he wanted a burger. That’s good for me as well.

Steve stood there holding his debit card for the girl to take. But she turned towards me and asked, “And for you, ma’am?”

I felt my face flush. Flustered, I said, “Oh, we’re not to…”

Steve looked down at me and grinned as he interrupted. “Don’t worry. I got it.”

Feeling embarrassed, I asked, “Are you sure? I’ve got money.” He just nodded. I gave my order and Steve paid for both of us. We managed to snag the last booth as Spanky’s started to get crowded.

After we were seated, I started to reach for my wallet. “You didn’t have to pay for my lunch, Steve. Can I see the receipt? I’ll pay you back.”

Steve just smiled at me as he rested his chin on his clasped hands. “Don’t worry about it. No really. It’s okay.”

I left my wallet in my pocket and gave Steve a smile. “Well, thank you. I’ll get the next one.”

Steve frowned slightly. “Don’t worry about it. I was about to ask if you like Mexican food? If you’re not doing anything for lunch tomorrow, I’d like to go to Rosa’s.”

I looked at him with a puzzled expression. Is he asking me out?

Before I could say anything, a girl shouted, “Hey Stevie!”

Steve looked over at a group of four girls apparently headed for the stairs to the second floor dining area. He grinned broadly as he said, “Hey Jenny! Haven’t seen you lately.”

Jenny stood there with her hand touching the table as she grinned at Steve and then at me. “Yeah. I’ve been busy. My dad will kill me if I don’t pass this semester.”

Steve chuckled. “I know the feeling. Computer Science, right?” He pointed at me. “Have you met Jerry?”

Jenny looked at me with momentary furrowed brow. “Oh, yeah. I bought a t-shirt at your kiosk. Nice to meet you, Jerri.” She looked back at Steve. “Anyway, I wanted to let you know that my boyfriend’s band will be playing at McCloskey’s Bar and Grill this Friday. It’d be great if you could come. Bring your girlfriend too.”

Steve laughed. “I didn’t know he was out of jail yet. We’ll try to make it by.”

Jenny grinned. “Great! I need to get going.” She turned towards me and pointed at Steve. “Be careful around this guy, if you know what I mean.” She laughed and ran up the stairs.

I frowned. “What did she mean by that?”

Steve chuckled. “Don’t worry about it.”

*          *          *

“So how was lunch?” asked Marcie with a big grin.

I shrugged. “It was okay. Spanky’s is always crowded. The only thing…” My voice trailed away.

Marcie leaned her elbows on the glass counter. “The only thing…?”

I frowned. “He insisted on paying for it.”

Marcie stood up straight. “Oh! So it was a date?”

I shook my head vigorously. “No, no. There was a misunderstanding with the cashier.”

Marcie grinned. “Yeah, right.”

At that moment, Steve had to come by. “Hey, I enjoyed lunch today. Don’t forget about Rosa’s tomorrow. My treat. I gotta run.” He hurried off.

If Marcie’s grin got any wider her brain would fall out. “You have a lunch date with him tomorrow? Can I be your maid of honor?”

I must have turned several shades of red. “Knock it off, Marcie. You’re not funny.”

Marcie giggled. “Sorry. Just teasing you. But can you finally admit Steve likes you?”

I shook my head. “Don’t be stupid. It’s just lunch. I just hope he doesn’t ask me to join him this Friday.”

Raising an eyebrow, Marcie asked, “What happens Friday?”

“Some girl named Jenny invited both of us to watch her boyfriend’s band at some BBQ place. She thinks I’m his girlfriend.”

Marcie put her hand over her mouth and giggled. “Aren’t you?”

Frowning deeply, I said, “No.”

Marcie was quiet for several minutes. She cocked her head to one side and asked, “Want to have a little fun?”

I shook my head. “I’m pretty sure I don’t.”

Marcie leaned on the counter and smiled. “You don’t know what it is yet. How about you wear a little make-up tomorrow? See if anyone even notices or screams in terror?”

I wrinkled up my face in disgust. “That’s insane. People will laugh at me and I’ll probably get fired.”

Marcie rummaged around in her purse for a few moments. Finally she lays a twenty dollar bill on the counter top and starts smoothing it out. “Twenty dollars says no one will be upset that you’re wearing make-up.” She pushed the bill around on the glass counter. “Come on, Jer. Wanna take the bet? Chicken?”

I frowned. “I’m not sure if that will be enough to cover my embarrassment. I don’t want to take your money.”

Marcie raised her eyebrows. “You really think someone is going to say ‘Oh my God! There’s a boy here wearing make-up?’” She tapped the bill. “Twenty dollars says you’re wrong.”

I shook my head as I reached for my wallet. “I must be nuts. But this will be the easiest twenty I ever made.” I laid my twenty on top of Marcie’s.

Marcie’s eyes gleamed. “Really think you’ll win? Let’s find out. Be here half an hour early so I can do your make-up.”

I picked my bill back up and asked, “You have to promise not to do something stupid on my face.”

Marcie plucked the bill from my fingers and placed it back on the counter. “Leave this here. You already accepted the bet. But I’ll do your make-up about the same as most of us wear on campus.”

A boy I’d seen around campus walked by. Marcie shouted, “Tony! Hey Tony. Can I ask a favor?”

Tony walked up to the counter. “Depends Does it involve moving bodies?”

Rolling her eyes, Marcie said, “Nothing that fun. Jerry and I have a wager and I was wondering if you, as a disinterested and trusted third party would mind holding the cash until the bet is discharged?”

Tony picked up the two bills. “Sure. No problem.” He grinned as he put the money in his pocket. “That last Skyrim release is finally in the bargain bin.”

Frowning, Marcie tapped the counter top and said, “Put them back.” As Tony dug into his pocket, Marcie scribbled something on a slip of paper. She pushed it towards Tony. “Sign that.”

Tony signed the receipt and put the money back in his pocket. “Sheesh. Have a sense of humor.”

Marcie smiled. “Thanks, Tony. Come back tomorrow afternoon around five-ish.”

I shook my head. “This is so stupid.”

Marcie just grinned.

*          *          *

As requested, I arrived thirty minutes early. Marcie led me into the women’s restroom.

“I’ll get arrested,” I protested.

Marcie giggled. “Piffle.” Is all she said. “I’ll do this quickly.”

While she was applying make-up on me, a girl entered the restroom, went into a stall and I suppose did her business. She came back out and checked her own make-up, brushed her hair and said “See ya.” as she exited the restroom.

Marcie chuckled. “Told you.” She looked at her phone. “We gotta get out there. You look amazing, by the way, even if I say so myself.”

I looked in the mirror before leaving the restroom. Marcie was right. I did look amazing. I couldn’t believe it was me. She didn’t use a lot of make-up. Mascara and eyeliner, blush and a light lip gloss. Still, it was more than I thought she’d use. It’s not like you wouldn’t notice I was wearing any. I was afraid to leave the restroom. Then four girls entered the restroom and I decided I should leave.

Marcie smiled at me. “Couldn’t take your eyes off yourself, eh? I fixed your hair as best I could. But seriously, you look amazing.”

I frowned at her. “We’ll see. First laugh I collect my money and wash my face.”

But nobody laughed. In fact, boys smiled at me. Girls talked to me. I caught a couple of boys staring at me. That bothered me. But there was no pointing and laughter. No screaming. Especially when I had to go take a leak. There were two women already in the restroom and all they did was smile an acknowledgement to me. And no, I didn’t forget to sit.

I poked my phone to see what time it was. For the fiftieth time that morning. Marcie looked over at me and chuckled. “Stop worrying. The new you has been a success all morning.”

I poked my phone again. “What if he says something?”

Shaking her head, Marcie said, “I’m sure he will. It’s not like he won’t notice.”

Two minutes later, Steve comes around the corner. He turns towards me and asks, “Hey Jerry, are you… woah! Jerry? What’s this?”

I frowned at Marcie. “See? I told you he’d think this was crazy!”

Before Marcie could comment, Steve exclaimed, “I don’t think it’s crazy. I’m just surprised by how you look. You look nice, actually. What’s this about?’

I folded my arms and frowned. “Marcie thinks I should change sides.”

Steve asked, “Change sides?”

Marcie shrugged. “You know. He’s practically a girl anyway. He should just change sides.”

Steve nodded. “I have to say, I’ve always felt Jerry was a bit feminine, but seeing him now, he seems naturally a girl.”

I frowned. “Stop encouraging her. Marcie hassles me enough about how I should be a girl.”

Steve laughed. “Maybe you should.”

Marcie pointed at me and asked, “If this was a girl, would you go out with her?”

I frowned at Marcie. “Will you stop?”

Very seriously, Steve said, “I would definitely go out with this girl.”

“No you wouldn’t,” I said. “This isn’t funny anymore.”

Steve grinned. “I’m taking her out on a lunch date right now.”

I shook my head. “You were already going to do that. Will you guys stop making fun of me?”

Steve suddenly held one of my hands. “Jerri, would you like to go out to dinner with me Friday night?”

I frowned. “Knock it off Steve. It’s not funny anymore.”

Steve said earnestly, “I’m serious. I would love to take you to dinner.”

I asked, “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Steve nodded. “Very.”

Marcie had a face splitting grin. “What are you waiting for, Jerri. Tell him yes!”

I hesitated a moment. I was really embarrassed. I’ve had a crush on Steve for years and now just because of a little make-up, he’s asking me out on a date. Was that all it took to nudge him? Did I want to nudge him?

Suddenly I was shy around Steve. I said, “I’d like that.”

Steve smiled. “Great! I’ll pick you up about seven. Now let’s go to lunch.”

*          *          *

As promised, Steve paid for my meal. I was “ma’amed” and “miss”ed several times before we finally sat down.

“Thanks for getting lunch,” I said to Steve after he returned with our food tray.

Steve smiled. “You’re very welcome. “ When he sat down, he stared at me for a few moments. “You really are beautiful. I feel stupid that I didn’t notice before.”

I frowned. “Why would you ever think a boy was beautiful?”

Steve chuckled. “I don’t think of you as a boy anymore. And no, it’s not because of a little make-up. All that did was to make me finally take notice. Subconsciously, I admit I’ve always felt you were pretty. But you passed yourself as a boy, so I never acted on it.”

I shook my head. “Maybe because I’m a boy?”

Steven gently rubbed my knuckles with his finger. “I think Marcie is right. It’s obvious now that you’re a girl who’s been hiding. Don’t you see it now when you look in the mirror?”

The problem is that I do see it. It was an eye opener. Maybe Marcie is right that maybe I am a girl. Or should be, rather. But I just can’t see myself switching sides. I never really found boys interesting. Much.

Steve smiled at me. “Now a lot of things make more sense.” He picked up my hand.

*          *          *

Steve held my hand the whole walk back to the kiosk. I didn’t try to pull away. We really didn’t talk about much on the walk back. Mostly just reminiscing. He surprised me when he asked what my favorite flower was. I never really thought about it though I have always thought pink roses were pretty. Friday morning, there was a bouquet of pink roses on the kiosk counter. Marcie almost exploded saying how she was right.

When five o’clock rolled around, Marcie practically dragged me from the kiosk to her dorm room.

“Sit still, Jerri,” admonished Marcie as I squirmed a bit. “Your make-up needs to be a lot more dramatic for your date.” She glanced over at the clothes laid out on her bed. “You’re going to look totally adorable in that skirt. If he hasn’t already, Steve is going to just fall in love with you.”

Do I want that? Seriously. Do I?

Marcie dressed me in a short, black, pleated miniskirt and a tank top. She had me wear a bra and I was shocked to discover I was actually almost an A cup.

She rummaged through her jewelry. “Girl, tomorrow we get your ears pierced. I only have few earrings you can wear.” She then fussed with my hair a bit. “You should grow your hair out. Not saying your hair isn’t cute the way it is.”

We then hurried out to meet Steve in front of Marcie’s dorm building.

Steve smiled when he saw me. “You look absolutely beautiful, Jerri.” He leaned in to kiss my cheek. “Mmm. You smell nice.”

I grinned and said, “I took Marcie’s advice and took a bath.”

We all chuckled. Steve took my hand and started to lead me to his car.

Marcie said, “Have fun you two. Oh, Jerri, I put a couple of condoms in your purse for you.” She said that right in front of Steve. I felt my face turn beet red.

Even though Steve laughed, I scowled at Marcie. “Will you stop?”

Everything felt surreal. I was going on a date with a boy who was holding my hand. I was all made up and annoyed by the false eyelashes. My top exposed some alleged cleavage. Not to mention perfume. Marcie annoyed me by sliding some perfume in my small cleavage.

Jenny greeted us at the door and thanked us for coming. There were quite a few people at the event.

The BBQ was very good. I was surprised because the building looked a bit run down. Steve suggested the appearance was on purpose. The band was quite good too, though they did play both kinds of music… country and western, neither of which thrills me much.

While I was sitting right next to Steve, some guy hit on me. Steve just laughed. The guy was drunk.

The whole walk back to my dorm building, Steve held my hand. When we arrived at the entrance, Steve took both my hands and looked down straight into my eyes. Marcie had told me I’m going to also to buy a few pairs of high heels.

“I really enjoyed being with you tonight, Jerri,” said Steve earnestly. “Thanks for coming with me.”

I looked up at Steve, When did he get so tall? “I enjoyed it too. Thanks for asking me.”

He moved his hands to my hips. “I’d really like to do this again, sometime.”

I grinned. “Me too. Maybe just not as loud.”

Steve chuckled. “They were a bit loud. Besides that though, I enjoyed being with you.”

A guy is telling me he enjoys being with me. A long time friend. I’m not sure how I feel about that.

His hands still on my waist, Steve drew me closer. “You’re very beautiful.” He leaned his head down towards me. He’s not going to kiss me is he?

Before I could react, Steve’s lips pressed softly into mine. I can’t believe I’m kissing a boy! This is Marcie’s fault. This is… This is… I closed my eyes and slid my arms around Steve’s neck. This is wonderful. Why did I wait so long to kiss a boy? When Steve stuck his tongue in my mouth, I sucked on it instead of thinking it was gross.

We kissed for a long time. I didn’t want the moment to end. But end it did. Steve pulled away and caught his breath. “Sorry, baby. I really need to go. I look forward to seeing you again.” He kissed me again and then turned and started walking away. I watched until he rounded a corner and left my sight. I sighed and gently touched my lips.

Why did I ever think I was a boy? I’ve switched sides and I’m never going back.

*          *          *

The End