Part 12 of 29

Saturday, July 27, 2013
Today was the day. Mary Ann's parents came to meet Angel the Girl. You wouldn't believe how nervous I was. It was worse than seeing them just after we started going steady.

I lost my ability to think. I couldn't decide what outfit to wear. I couldn't decide if I was going to run away from home. I couldn't decide if I wanted to use some makeup so I would look more like a girl.

Mary Ann pointed out that I haven't been using any makeup and everyone at the library thinks I'm a girl because I have a face that is kind of neutral. With the wig and breasts I look like a girl, with the brush cut I look like a boy. She doesn't use makeup except on special occasions, she says her face is good enough as it is and she doesn't need to hide it under a layer of paint.

But today was a special occasion. (Do they tell that to prisoners before they march them out of their cell to the firing squad?) Not only were Mary Ann's parents coming to see me, but we were going to be serving her parents a meal we had cooked together. I wanted to look my best, even if I didn't want anyone to see me. This was very confusing.

Grandpa has been teaching me to dance as a girl. He even manages to keep a straight face when I move around like Frankenstein. Did Frankenstein ever wear high heels to dance? Well, if he could tap dance for Mel Brooks then I can dance in high heels.

I'm glad Sylvia liked party dresses, even if it was hard to choose which one to wear. I finally settled on long skirted, split-sheath blue dress with crinkly sleeves and a criss-cross bodice that hid the fact that I don't have any cleavage while showing a little skin. I liked the gold belt that went with it, very flattering. The disadvantage is that it was tight enough I had to wear my girdle and the padding again, but I did look pretty good in it. Mostly I stick to loose styles that don't emphasize my lack of figure. Don't I just sound like a girl complaining that her body isn't perfect? Some feminist I'd make!

I was about as nervous as I could be by the time the doorbell rang. The door opened and in came Mary Ann's family. I don't know what I was expecting (well, that's a lie - I was expecting all hell to break loose), but I got hugged and kissed by Mary Ann's mom, who looked like she was going to break into tears. Her Dad gave me a bit of an inspection and then hugged me too. Her brother didn't hug me, he just said "Well I'll be damned!" in a way the took the sting out of it and shook my hand.

It was an anti-climax. We just sat around the living room talking, catching up on what had happened in the last few weeks as if nothing very unusual had happened. Finally Mr. Wilson (Mary Ann's Dad, not grandpa) approached the subject that must have been foremost on all of our minds.

"I must say you do justice to Mother's dress, Angel."

"Thank you, sir. I'm just sorry I never got to meet her, she must have been quite a woman."

"That she was. And so, it seems, are you. By the way, since you're sleeping with her, call me Pop like my impertinent daughter does or George - and no cracks about Dennis the Menace, either!"

"I try my best, Pop." You wouldn't believe how hard it was to get that last word out! "And thank you for being so understanding, my real Dad would be having kittens if he saw me like this."

"Angel, my daughter and my Dad have warned me that I had better practice the understanding and tolerance I preach or they'll both disown me. Besides, by the time they reach your age most boys have at least tried on their mother's clothes a time or two. I know I did, but for me it was just a passing fancy. You seem to have found something you need in expressing your feminine side and that's your privilege."

"Angel," Mary Ann's Mom spoke, "We raised Mary Ann to make her own decisions. If she loves you then we love you, no matter how you present yourself to the world. You're welcome as part of our family however you feel comfortable. And please call me Mom if you feel comfortable with it."

It was as if a weight had been removed from my back. Even if Grandpa and Eve accepted me as a girl, I was still worried about what Mary Ann's folks would say, not only about the dresses but because I was sleeping with their daughter and we weren't married.

"I would love to call you Mom and Pop. I thought life couldn't get any better when I fell in love with Mary Ann, but you've just proved me wrong. It got a whole lot better, just now."

"And I just got a new sister to pick on. Thanks for the favor, Angel. I suppose that means we have to play touch football from now on, since you're a girl now." That was Mary Ann's brother Dale.

"Just watch where you're touching, brother. She's all mine!" Mary Ann can be possessive at times.

"Well, I don't think I'm going to be coming home to play football any time soon, Dale"

"I bet. Since I haven't heard any news reports about explosions in town I take it your old man doesn't know."

"Not likely."

"So this Angel is going to be a summer love, sis?"

"I love Angel either way, brother mine."

"You must. So what happens when it's time to start school again. Aren't you planning to live with your folks and go to school at the community college, Angel?"

"Yeah, I guess I have to go back to my old self when the summer is over and I go home for college."

My new Pop spoke up. "I don't intend to run down your Dad, Angel, but he did seem a little hidebound when we met him. I hope you'll pardon me being blunt, but what happens if you decide that becoming a woman is what you need to do?"

"That's one of the few things I can be sure of, Mr. Wi... Uh Pop. I know I'm not transsexual, I intend to stay physically male no matter what else happens."

"Don't worry Pop, we'll supply you a couple of grandchildren to spoil in you old age." Mary Ann is always the practical one.

"Don't you think there should be a wedding first, darling?" Her Mom is just as practical.

"Does that mean I have to wear a dress if you two get married? Asked Dale.

"What makes you think we'll invite a troublemaker like you to our wedding?" my love inquired sweetly.

"Well, there's always blackmail. If that doesn't work I'll sell my story to the National Enquirer. The Truth About The Two Brides…"

"Children, you will all have to grow up a bit before we talk of weddings." Mom chided. We were having a serious discussion of what Mary Ann and Angel intend to do with their future. I take it that you consider yourself a transgenderist, Angel?"

I just looked surprised.

"Well, we did do some reading on the subject when Mary Ann told us, didn't we George?"

"More than a bit, Angel. We want to understand the subject because you mean so much to our daughter. We're not trying to slap a label on you, just trying to understand."

"You're not the only ones!" I replied with feeling. "Sometimes I have to wonder if I'm going crazy, but then I realize that if I feel so right playing the part of a girl than God must have intended me to be this way, but I doubt my Dad would see it that way."

"Which brings us back to the subject of your family. I have read enough to realize that now your feminine side has been born into the world there is no going back. How are you going to cope with hiding a part of you that obviously means so much to you that you will defy social convention?"

"I don't know. I guess I haven't really wanted to think about it. I'm still just getting used to being Angel the Girl, I haven't thought much about the future."

"Angel the Girl? That's a curious phrase."

"Well, a boy growing up with the name Angel gets a lot of grief about it. Dad keeps telling me Angel is a boy’s name, Angelica is the girl’s version, but nobody in school ever believed that. I hated Dad for a long time for my name, but I got over it.

"There were times when I'd think what Angel the Girl or Angel the Boy would do in a certain situation. It gave me a way to look at things from a different perspective before I did something stupid. Mary Ann just helped me learn more about Angel the Girl, to make her a real person and not just a point of view."

"Interesting." Pop replied. I would have never thought of that. Having you part of the family will certainly make life more intriguing. In any case, you have six weeks or so to make your decision. If we can be any help I want you to ask us for it. So enough of the serious stuff, dinner is waiting."

He stood and offered one arm to his wife and the other to me. I had planned a meal that I could do almost everything in advance, then just heat up the side dishes when the roast came out of the oven. I have to confess to the Sin of Pride as Mary Ann and I served the dinner to her parents. I think her mother unleashed a monster when she started teaching me to cook.

I almost pity my father because he will never know the pleasure of working together in the kitchen to make a meal. All people must eat, so why should preparing food be done only by the women? Didn't Jesus feed the multitude? While it may be a bit presumptuous to call Jesus a chef for preparing that meal for 5,000 followers, he did break the loaves with his own hands.

Was Jesus doing 'Women's Work' and should he be chastised for breaking tradition? Wasn't breaking tradition the essence of Jesus time on earth? I can hardly compare myself to Jesus, but there seems to be more nuanced approaches to living a good life than my father has realized.

With Grandpa, Eve and Mary Ann teaching me I was getting to be comfortable in the kitchen and in my skin. I envied them their ability to just throw things together without a recipe, but they assure me that will come with time and experience. Sort of like living my life as a girl, the longer I do it the more comfortable and easy it becomes. I never felt this comfortable as Angel the Boy. Well, except when I've been wearing high heels for too long a time.

After we ate we went out to a club, and yes, I can dance in high heels, especially if I have someone leading as skillfully as Mary Ann's Dad to dance with. Justin seems to have inherited his skill, but he seemed a bit nervous when he danced with me. Can't imagine why, unless he's concerned about blackmail.
 

Sunday, July 28
Grandpa was right, "The Joy of Sex" is interesting reading. Riveting, when you read it with someone who likes to be experimental. I read faster than Mary Ann so I had to wait for her to turn the page, but I found ways to occupy myself while waiting, even if it made her read more slowly.

Actually, the lady in the pictures looks a bit like Mary Ann, which is pretty nice. I don't look anything like the guy, which is fortunate or I could never pull off being Angel the Girl. He has a nice fuzzy beard and he makes it look easy to get himself inside her in the oddest positions. We tried some of them and mostly I couldn't get close enough to do any good.

That doesn't matter, we certainly found a lot of interesting things to try that did work. If I ever had any doubts that I grew up sheltered from reality (or at least sex) I don't have them now. Would Dad even try some of the things they suggest with Mom? I mean, they must have had sex or I wouldn't be here, but somehow I suspect it isn't anywhere near as inventive as what Mary Ann and I do.

Funny thing, though. With all the things that can turn on a couple of people they missed crossdressing. Maybe I should write them a note and tell them to add it, it sure works for us!
 

Monday, July 29
The research project seems to be taking over my life, but we have to have the display up by the first of the month. I rapidly devoured the limited material in the library, then used part of the small budget for the project to buy a few books over the internet. Sure, they were for the project, but you can bet they were for me and Mary Ann as well.

She seems a lot more comfortable with my crossdressing than I am, if that makes any sense. I guess it's her liberal outlook and attitude, but I have to work on the conservative that is deep inside my brain and it isn't giving up easily.

Even though I have been questioning (quietly!) the fundamental faith I grew up in, it still means a lot to me. Even if I'm not sure God is really there, I worry that He is not happy with the way I'm living my life. Kind of hard to get away from Him.

Mary Ann can't really understand that. I can't understand the nuances of being a girl because I didn't grow up as a girl, so I can't expect her to really understand what I'm going through because she didn't grow up that way. The good news is we are both beginning to learn about each other, but it isn't easy.

If you listen to Dad the answer is easy - look it up in The Book. Simple answers to all your questions, just study The Book so you can find them. No question too big or too small, just a God-given certainty that makes life easy to get through.

The only question The Book can't answer is what if you don't think God wrote it and every word is the literal Truth. Ironic that I have thousands of books in the library, including umpteen versions of The Book, but none of them do me any good.