For lunch they gave me real food and it was a good thing I was being fed or I might have made a pig of myself. The aide made sure I didn't eat too fast or take giant bites. I discovered I actually enjoyed my food more and felt filled before I had even finished my dessert. Dessert? What else, green jello.
I felt a bit sleepy and must have dozed off because when I woke Christina was in the room and so was Jessica. They both half-grinned at me and I noticed something else, they both had been crying.
They'd attempted to hide it but no makeup could hide the drawn and haggard look. I looked at Christina for an explanation for the tears and Jessica being with her.
Then I saw the laptops on the table, mine, Christina's and a third that must be Jessica's. I knew we were supposed to Zoom with Tanya but could think of no reason why Jessica would be included. Maybe it was just to entertain herself while the two of us worked.
"I see you've noticed the laptops Tony and are puzzled. I'm going to ask a big favor of you on behalf of Jessica and myself. You don't have to do it but we'd really appreciate it."
Besides the fact that I could basically deny Christina nothing I also came to the conclusion that what I heard wasn't an ask but a thinly veiled demand. I knew it would not do our relationship any good if I turned her down. It had to be something really serious for her to risk it. Serious enough that both had been crying - a lot!
"Does this have to do with why you both have been crying?"
"Yes. The reason I didn't come to visit this morning was I was going to talk with my therapist."
"And that upset you? Then why was Jessica crying?"
I was confused. Christina wasn't giving me any more information. She just looked at the clock on the wall and opened up the laptops.
They must have been preset because in moments we were all on a Zoom screen along with another man who, I assumed, was her local therapist. I was partially right.
"Hello Tony, my name is Dr. Shaw and I am the husband of Christina's therapist. She asked me to speak to Christina and inadvertently I ended up speaking to Jessica too."
I was confused and a bit impatient. I knew I was being rude but this whole thing made me uncomfortable.
"Will you just cut to chase and explain why we're all talking together."
"Please Tony, listen to him."
It was strange hearing Christina's voice coming from her and my laptop too. I stifled the urge to say something I'd regret. After all whatever this doctor wanted to talk to me about had made them cry.
Then it occurred to me, she's breaking up with me! The doctor was just softening the blow with some psychological mumbo-jumbo!
Bracing myself for the worst I told him to continue.
The doctor had told me Tony might not be happy about this, that guys got defensive when you wanted to talk about their feelings. But I needed to do this, more importantly Jess did.
I hadn't realized how important I had become to her. I knew that we loved each other and we both missed her parents, I just didn't know how much and what effect Tony's shooting had on our relationship and my relationship with Tony. Not until this morning.
Tony looked like he was at the dentist and found out he had a bunch of cavities. I didn't think this would upset him so much. I thought it would help. The doctor warned me that Tony might not see it that way but I had faith in him.
"Before I go too far I should tell all of you that I called a friend on the police force and got a copy of the full report. I also spoke to your doctor, Tony, about what has happened since you arrived there.
The reason I'm telling you this is so you'll understand the issues I'm about to bring up.
The first involves you Tony. I read about your reaction to seeing Christina when you woke up. What do you remember about that?"
"It was like dream. I saw Christina and had to warn her about Rick but I couldn't talk and then I think she hit me with her stun gun."
"I what?"
"Relax, Christina, Tony was trying to piece together what was going on. His mind was confused."
"I'd never have done that to him!"
"Consciously he knows that but the unconscious mind works in different ways. He did get tased a few days ago trying to see you, didn't he?"
"And I showed him my stun gun. I never thought. . ."
"So when they used the defibrillator on him his mind thought it was your stun gun. I'm sure he didn't say anything because he thought it was all just a dream."
Tony turned bright red. I wanted to kiss him and make it better. I resolved to get rid of that stun gun.
"Now I know the doctor told Tony how you probably saved his life but you didn't know he definitely saved yours.
The police weren't just called to Tony's house but also to yours Christina. Rick went there first and if you or Jessica had been there he would have killed you. Your going to stay with Tony meant you weren't home."
I know I gasped and Jess started crying again. I wanted to reach through the screen and slap Dr. Shaw.
"You probably want to hit me right now but you were going to find out anyway. What's important is that you helped each other and you still can. And both of you can help Jessica face her abandonment issues."
It never occurred to me that there were three of us in this relationship. Until Christina and Jessica moved in I hadn't given it much thought. I knew Christina had moved cross country to be with her niece. I had done much the same with mom but the dynamics were different.
If mom were alive she might have told me. Mom had already given me to the world but Christina hadn't done that with Jessica. Mom and I were adults that had lived separate lives for years before she got sick.
Jessica's bond with her aunt was new but obviously very strong. That's why she probably had to break up with me, to take care of Jessica. I could understand that. I just wish she would tell me instead of putting us through this therapy session. But if it helped her and Jessica get better I would do my part.
I knew the, 'it's not you, it's me' moment' was coming. I guess Dr. Shaw was just here to cushion the blow and pick up the pieces.
"You can understand my problem can't you Tony. I didn't realize how much Jessica needed me until she almost lost me."
"I get it. Jessica needs you and you and she think I'm taking you away from her. I'm a threat. I think I love you Christina but I know you love Jessica and she comes first. So I understand why you have to break off our relationship before it gets too serious."
"Doctor, you have to help me here. Is he delirious? Why would he think I wanted to break things off? I'm confused."
"Think about it Christina. Tony took a leave of absence to look after his mother. Why would he think you would be any different when it came to Jessica?"
"The doctor's right. You're all the family Jessica has. I can't take you away from her!"
I was doing my noble bit even though I wanted Christina in my life.
"Are all guys gonna be like you Tony? Geez, my aunt's gaga over you and you're just going to push her away? She finally has some happiness in her life and you think I'm going to get in the way of that? You need your head examined. Good thing there's a shrink here to do it!
Sure Christina is going to spend more time with you. The doc and I talked about it with Christina. She was worried about the same thing."
"So you're not breaking up with me?"
"No! Unless you want me to and why in the hell would I do that?"
"Well I thought . . ."
"Be a normal guy and think with your dick!"
"Auntie!"
"Christina!"
"Well?"
"Get your ass over here girl. And Jessica, you cover your eyes! You too doctor!"
I didn't have a lot of experience kissing but, damn that man could kiss!
"That looks like fun. Can I try?"
"Jess!"
"Jessica!"
The doctor was just laughing. I looked at Tony. He had that smug look guys get when they know they've scored. Jessica had a shit-eating grin on her face. I bet my face was redder than a stop light and I didn't care.
"I'd like to say my work here is done but I think it's only starting."
"What do you mean doctor?"
"Just the fact that you were all confused about how the other persons felt tells me you still need to talk. All three of you experienced a trauma that most people will never face. I'm sure all three of you have had sleepless nights thinking about what happened.
I wish I could say that things were all better now but my experience tells me no."
"You're talking PTSD, aren't you doc?"
"Yes, Tony. It doesn't just happen to soldiers and if you aren't aware of it and its effects none of you will know how to react. I counsel police officers and their families among others. That's how I was able to get a copy of the report.
Jessica already knew about Rick going to her home because the police talked to her after you took off to the hospital Christina."
"I'm so sorry Jess. I didn't know."
"It's ok. I was ok. You were hurting and needed to be with Tony and there was nothing I could do then."
"But you did help me. You came to bed and hugged me so I could sleep."
"I needed the hugs too auntie, so I could sleep."
I had a glimmer of what the doctor was talking about now. I knew Tony needed me and I knew Jess needed me too. And I needed them both. The question was what about Tony and Jessica? If I was the apex and they were the base they could pull me apart but if they connected my base would be solid.
I wondered how to explain this to Tony. The doctor was strangely silent. I could see Tony struggling with the idea. I went to say something and the doctor motioned for me to be quiet. He wanted Tony to figure this out himself.
Tony looked at Jess.
"So your aunt is gaga over me? Did you think I'd take her away? Be honest with me."
"Yes, I'm a big girl. I'm emancipated even. I want her to be happy and you make her that way."
"My mom would never forgive me if I did that. So I guess you're stuck with me. That is if you and your aunt want me in your lives."
Jess just grinned and kissed him - on the cheek and he blushed. For the moment we were all happy and didn't even notice the doctor had signed off.
Comments
These People!
They manage to misinterpret everything! Then they kinda come to the right conclusion, but it's just as well they had the therapist there to help them.
I know the story must be reaching its conclusion soon but I'm enjoying it so much I really don't want it to end.
With Autism
I frequently misinterpret what people intend. I've learned that being a pessimist isn't a bad thing, as 95% of everything I think might happen, doesn't. If I dream up all the horrible things and focus on that, the good will undoubtedly happen instead. :-D
Hugs!
Rosemary
Thank you!
Commentator thank you for these great chapters. Opening BC and seeing that you have posted new chapters really makes my day.
Thank you.
That is if you and your aunt want me in your lives."
Aaaw. I'm all weepy now!
Lovely * sniffle* just lovely
Lucy xxx
"Lately it occurs to me..
what a long strange trip its been."
Hmmm....
I never even suspected that it wouldn't be a family of three. I guess I'm a little old fashioned.
Hugs!
Rosemary
ugh!
I hate it when the internet has a brain fart and I get two identical comments up.
I will say this is one of the best stories I'm reading right now. I love seeing that there's an update on it. :-)
Hugs!
Rosemary
Now you're playing with us
Commentator, just get them together already. I didn't consider Jess as she is emancipated but the 3 will make a good family. C'mon, pop the question. You're killin' me.
>>> Kay