I watched her drive away and wondered if I was being foolish trying to make something work that might have no future. I pounded the wheel in frustration, hitting the horn accidentally and scaring an old couple walking by half to death. I opened the window and offered a sheepish apology.

Driving home I thought about getting something to eat before it registered that I couldn't do that. Nor would I have anyone to share my meal with now that Christina had gone off due to my inserting my size 11's into my mouth.

At home again I made myself a sandwich. I didn't have the desire to cook for just myself. I was just finishing up when the intercom came alive and I hit the button to allow video and Jessica was there.

"My aunt's not there, Mr. Falzone?"

"I'm sorry Jessica, she decided to go home. She said she'd call you."

"Okay. Did you two have a fight? I hope not. She really likes you, you know."

I grasped that thought and hugged it to me.

"I hope so. Can you keep a secret?"

Jessica got a conspiratorial look on her face and said, "cross my heart. I don't do the hope to die part. Seems a bit too much."

I laughed. I liked Jessica.

"Okay, well the secret is I like your aunt a lot too. And you can call me Tony."

"Rad. But you better treat her right Mr. Fal . . . Tony. She needs somebody good in her life."

"She's got you Jessica."

"That's all fine and good but she needs somebody to love her and treat her right like my dad did with mom."

"I don't know if she'll let me. She's pretty angry with me right now."

"Then you better fix things before she goes off you. I've seen her angry and if you don't she'll use it as an excuse to stop seeing you."

"I want to but how do I do it if she won't talk to me."

"You're a smart guy. Figure out a way. I gotta go my phone is ringing. It's probably her."

Jessica was gone before I could ask her to put in a good word for me. I hoped I could figure it out. The first step might be talking with Ms Lukes. I took the card Christina handed me and stared at it, considering what to say to her and how to say it.

i wasn't going to burden Jessica with my problems but I'd promised her I'd call. I may not have wanted to talk about my problems but apparently my niece had no problem at all with it. It's not funny being lectured to by a 16 year old!

She already knew something was wrong so she must have talked to Tony. She made that clear a moment later when she told me she'd told him the same thing, basically to get our shit together, though I hope she didn't use quite such graphic language with the man that was her host for the next two weeks!

"Auntey you need to get off your high horse and let people help. That's what friends are for.What has your stupid pride gotten you except a tiny corner office that you hide away in.

Mom said you were way smarter than her but I'm not so sure. Mom would never have let herself be hidden away like something to be ashamed of!"

"You don't know what it's like Jess. It's only my brain that they want. If they could hook me up to a computer they'd be happier."

"You think I don't get the same shit at school? Living with a man pretending to be a woman is the nicest thing some of the other kids say. I found out who my real friends are pretty quick. They know I'm proud of you auntey. Don't make me be ashamed."

"I didn't know it was so bad. I'm sorry."

"Don't be sorry. I'm not. You moved across the country so I wouldn't have to leave my friends or change schools. If it wasn't for you I'd be in foster care. Don't wimp out on me now."

She was just like her mother. Sis always stood up for me too. Maybe Jess and Tony were right. Maybe I shouldn't be just trying to survive until Jessica graduated so I could return to San Francisco. I'd been lulled into thinking I was accepted in SF so coming here was like throwing cold water in my face. I had just wanted to hide until I met Tony. He was the first person who saw a woman first AND second.

So what the hell was I afraid of? I knew my job was pretty secure, no matter what Dan and the Neanderthals who worked for him thought of me personally. I helped them make money and to these guys money came before everything, even sex. Because with money they could have all the sex they wanted.

Jess had shaken me up. That girl was wise before her time. I just hope Tony was prepared because Jess liked him already. No, don't go there. I am not competing with my niece for Tony's affections! It would be just like her to try and make me jealous so I'd give in to Tony.

I suddenly realized Jess had been talking and I hadn't heard a word she said. She laughed when I finally spoke and teased that I must have been daydreaming about a certain hunk. I told her to do her homework and leave me alone and hung up before the 'YES Ma'am' that I knew was coming.

I finally dialed Ms Lukes' number. I didn't know how much Dan had told his wife about why he fired me but I'm sure it would be different than what I told her. The phone rang several times and I was about to give up when she answered.

The first thing I said was that Christina had asked me to call her. I figured it didn't hurt for Ms Lukes to know that it was because of her I called.

"So she told you that I wanted you to come back to work for me."

"You yes, your husband no. I can't work for a man who goes against my instructions without even having the courtesy to tell me. I had to find out from one of my customers. No, there is no way for me to ever work for him and I don't need to. If he hadn't fired me first I would have resigned."

"That's a different story from the one Dan told me - after I found out from one of my best friends that he'd fired you. By the way Doris thinks the world of you. I took the liberty of making courtesy calls on several of your clients and they all said the same thing, that they loved you. I think some of the ladies would marry you if they could!"

I was glad she couldn't see my face because I was sure it was as red as a fire truck. Before I could say anything she continued.

"If it would make you come back I would fire Dan. I love the man but he does have his faults. I probably tend to ignore them more than I should. You can be sure that we are going to talk about this and there will be some changes made by him or else."

"I don't want you to fire him. He's a good manager except his desire to make money gets in the way of him making good decisions on occasion."

"Before we go any further Tony can you tell me how your mom is doing? I know you took the leave of absence to look after her."

"You mean you don't know? I thought Christina might have told you, my mother died today of complications from that fucking virus.

I'm sorry ma'am I didn't mean to say that. I'm just so angry and there's no-one to be angry at. She got the best care, it was just too much for her already weak heart. I know the hospital is one of the company's charities. I think I'd like my last check to go it."

"I'm so sorry. This phone call could have waited. Here I am talking about business when you should be spending the time grieving. Is there anyone there with you now?"

"No ma'am. Christina was here earlier. I'm afraid I may have exposed her before I realized it. She came to the hospital when she heard but has gone to her house to self-quarantine. I'll have to do the same. So, even if I wanted to I couldn't come back to work. And please don't hold it against Christina for getting exposed. She didn't know until it was too late. That was my fault."

"Don't worry about that. I'll speak to Dan and make sure it doesn't affect her job. Now I suggest a good stiff drink and go to bed. With your permission we'll talk again tomorrow. I have some ideas but now is not the time to talk about them."

"Thank you Ms Lukes. Please think about what I said before you do anything rash and tell Doris I like her too."

I hung up before I started to cry again. It was good to know my clients appreciated me and that Ms Lukes wanted me back but at the moment the only person I want is Christina.

I debated calling Dan to explain why I had left and why I couldn't come back. I thought about the panic I might cause if he lost an investment counselor his wife obviously didn't want to lose and his best analyst at the same time. I wish I was like Tony and could simply walk away. Instead I'd have to explain about getting exposed to the virus and having to self-quarantine. I definitely would not tell him that Tony was the reason. I could just imagine what he would be thinking and probably saying.

I was already regretting leaving Tony alone at a time like this. He couldn't even have friends come by to commiserate. I was the only one who could and I'd let my anger get the best of me and walked away. Jess was right, I needed to have my head examined. A talk with my therapist was needed, even if it was by phone. In fact I could call my old therapist. Given the time difference she might still be in her office.

She was in, but at home. Everybody in California was quarantined. Well at least we had a common starting point as I told her how I ended up self-quarantining. She made me ask myself why I had rushed to the hospital to see Tony if I was only going to turn my back on him. I didn't have a good answer.

I told her about my concern over getting too close to Tony before my surgery. she asked me what I was afraid of. I thought it was obvious, what was between my legs. Did Tony know? I didn't know, I hadn't told him I was incomplete. He didn't treat me like I was. Was I afraid to tell him that? Hell yes I was afraid. Afraid he'd reject me? Or that he wouldn't?

I asked about the surgery. She asked if I wanted it because it would solve my dilemma. I told her it wouldn't solve anything and she congratulated me on finally realizing that and that she'd already written the letter approving my gender affirming surgery subject to my current therapist concurring.

The last thing I expected after the day I had was hearing this! I just got the best news in my life on the day Tony's mom died. I wanted to share my news with him but how do you tell someone you are about to be reborn when he lost the woman who had borne him. My happiness balloon was just popped.